The girl covered her face with her hands for a minute. We all sat there speechless, frozen in our seats. I didn’t know about the rest of the group, but for me it made me finally see that I wasn’t alone. I felt like I needed to walk over and wrap my arms around this girl, because she needed it so much more than I did. Then she finished the rest of the story.
“The campus police found me the next morning. I was still fastened to the tree, naked and freezing to death. Before they’d left me there to rot they used a tree limb to assault me from behind. The doctors had to give me stitches to stop the bleeding. I didn’t speak for the next eleven days. I couldn’t. It was like it didn’t happen if I didn’t tell anyone about it. They put me into an institution because my parents feared I’d end my life. Most days I still want to. My friends, well the people I thought were my friends, they couldn’t understand. They didn’t know how to be my friends anymore. Needless to say I dropped out of school, and left everything behind. I moved back to Kentucky where my parents still lived, and I’ve been living with them ever since. The doctors tell me that it’s time to move on; that I can’t dwell on my attack, but it’s all I ever think about. Each morning I wake up and relive every single second of my rape. I can still taste the dirt in my mouth. I can still see them passing me around like a ragdoll. The only difference is that I’m finally tired of punishing myself. I don’t want to live like this anymore, but I also don’t want to give up. For the first time in forever I have hope.”
Eve got up and rushed over to the female while starting to clap. We all followed suit, giving appreciation to this woman who’d somehow gained the strength to tell her story. Eve kneeled down in front of her and took her hands. “You are brave and beautiful. You’re here because you want to live again. It’s the reason that I’m here too. Rape is an ugly, horrible, devastating thing. It cripples us, strips us of our life, and leaves us alone and vulnerable, but it’s not the end. I was repeatedly raped ten years ago by my step-father. My mother worked nights and he’d hold me down in my bed and have his way with me, threatening to kill my mom if I told anyone. When I was old enough to call social services she believed him insisting that I didn’t want her to be happy. I ran away after that, ending up in a woman’s shelter. It was there that I met a woman who took me under her wing and showed me how to break free of that anguish. I’ve heard hundreds of stories from men and women that have both experienced this type of abuse. These meetings are for us to come together and share so that we can finally see we aren’t alone. Our stories may be different, but we’ve all survived. Thank you for sharing your story with us tonight.”
I grabbed Ethan’s hand and pulled him out of there before anyone could notice us. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and didn’t stop walking until we’d reached his car. “Are you okay?” He asked.
“Get me out of here.”
Ethan didn’t speak on the ride back to his place; even if he had I didn’t hear him. My mind was too fixed on that woman’s story. It was wretched and disturbing, making me sick to hear it told. I found myself comparing hers with mine, and feeling like my circumstance didn’t deserve the acknowledgement.
By the time we’d made it inside I was already crying. I felt sorry for the woman, and for myself, because at the end of the day Eve was right. It was up to me to get through this, and I had to be ready for it to happen or it never would.
Chapter 20
Ethan
I couldn’t stand seeing her this way. The meeting had only made things worse it seemed. It was taking everything in me not to go after those bastards for hurting her. I felt sick after hearing that woman tell her tragic story to the group. How she’d survived that ordeal was beyond me. I could tell it had gotten to Chris, but what I didn’t know was if it was in a positive or negative way.
We were both exhausted after the long day we’d had. Since I knew she was safe it was easier to get some rest, but she was crazy if she thought for one second I was going to let go of her. If she was feeling anything that the woman had, I knew she was going require more than me keeping her close. She would need to rely on her parents, and the help of a real professional.
One thing I wished I could do was tell her how much I loved her. She needed to know that she wasn’t a burden to me. I wanted to be able to tell her she was my future.
It might not have been the time to profess my true feelings to her, but I understood. In enough time she’d know.
Chris cried for a while in my arms. Knowing that she needed time to herself I remained silent. When her breathing settled I felt like she was in a peaceful place.
By morning we’d both gotten at least a few hours of sleep. Since there was so much going on I didn’t push her to stay in bed, plus I could tell that being close to even me made her feel uncomfortable. I’d now seen and read enough to know that her road to recovery was going to be long and at times extremely frustrating. I’d decided that no matter how long it took her, I’d be her shoulder to cry on. My only concern was that her parents needed to know what was going on.
They were a tight knit group, and something like this had to be dealt with properly. I knew she was against telling them anything, but it was for her own good. She might not be in her right mind, but I was going to make sure everything was handled to benefit her.
When she first woke, Chris was calmer, seemingly relaxed. She sat down on the couch and managed to eat a piece of toast that I’d given her. Despite the fact that her eyes were bloodshot, with bags under them, she seemed in good spirits.
The key was not to bring it up, albeit it couldn’t be buried forever.
By noon we’d watched several movies. She was adamant about me going to class, so I decided it was best to keep her within arm’s length. Like a small child, Chris needed constant supervision. This wasn’t like a bad breakup; I feared she’d try to hurt herself if left alone for a long period of time.
After I’d made us some cheese sandwiches, because it was all I could find in the refrigerator, I decided to have a talk with her about the next steps, knowing it wasn’t going to go over well.
“Christian, we need to make some decisions.”
“Don’t call me that. When you call me that it’s somethin’ serious, and I can’t go there right now.”
“You’re going to have to. This ain’t goin’ to disappear. Now I get that you’re scared, but we’ve got to report this guy. It’s important he’s charged for this crime. I’m not willin’ to sit around watching you fall apart while he’s out there somewhere enjoyin’ his freedom.”
“Please don’t do this to me. I went to that place with you last night and it left me more messed up.”
I slid my cell phone across the table. “Call your parents. Tell them we’re comin’ to see them.”
She shoved it back in my direction. “No way. They can’t ever find out.”
I rolled it back toward her. “If you don’t do it, I will.”
“I hate you right now.” I knew she didn’t. For some reason I knew she couldn’t. I hated being the only friend she had, but appreciated that she needed me.
“Please, Chris. You’re my best friend and I love you. Please trust that this is the right choice. Seth needs to go down, and I think with the right amount of legal assistance your roommates should be held accountable for destroyin’ your belongings.”
“You expect me to press charges against all of them? Are you crazy? I’ll be the laughing stock of the campus.”
“Then we’ll switch schools.”
She cocked her brow and shook her head. “You’re on a scholarship. Your family will have a shit fit.”
I wanted to tell her right then and there how I felt about her. I wanted her to know that my love wasn’t in a friendship kind of way. “You’re also on a scholarship. Besides, once the dean hears about Seth’s involvement I’m pretty certain he’ll be expelled.”
“And what about everyone else? You were there last night, Ethan. Stop pretendin’ things will be the same. Those girls will ne
ver let me live this down. As long as I attend this school I’ll have to see them, and know what they’ve done to me.”
Before she started crying, I reached my hand over and placed it gently on her knee. At first she began to move it away, until our eyes met. I don’t know what she saw in mine, but she froze in place. “You’re stronger than they are. Remember that.”
She picked up the phone and played with it for a second before sighing and dialing a number. “Hey, mom, it’s me. Yeah, I’m okay. Listen, I need to come home and talk to you and dad about somethin’ important. Ethan’s goin’ to drive me.”
Once she’d hung up she let out an air-filled laugh. “I think she’s under the impression that I’m pregnant too.”
I picked up her hand and kissed the back of it. “You know, life wouldn’t suck if we had a kid together. I’m just puttin’ it out there.”
“I don’t think havin’ a kid with my best friend is how my parents saw my future going.”
“Maybe you need to step out of the box for a second and accept that this is your life. It doesn’t matter what anyone wants for you. What matters is if you’re happy.”
Chris looked down and shook her head. “Yeah, well I’m not. Honestly, I don’t know if I can be after this.”
“I told you this already, but I’ll repeat it again. You’re not alone. This will get resolved, and no matter how long it takes, you will get through this. I promise you.”
Twenty minutes later we were driving to the Mitchell ranch. As much as Mr. Mitchell made me nervous, all I could hope was that he appreciated what I’d done for his daughter.
Her mother, Savanna, was waiting at the door for us to arrive. Chris looked over at me before I could turn off the ignition. “I’m scared.”
“You’re loved. This is the one place in the world where everyone loves you. Sure, they may freak out at first, but my hand will be laced with yours, and if you get nervous just squeeze it. It will remind you that you’re never goin’ to be alone.”
When we stepped inside of the warm home the first thing I noticed was her father and brother sitting on the couch; my heart beat rapidly as I worried about them attacking me, before hearing the real reason we’d come to visit.
It wasn’t surprising when Chris let go of my hand and approached her parents. I could tell she was trying to smile, but was unable to do it properly. They already knew this was bad news, and the sooner they found out that I wasn’t the bad guy, the faster I could focus all of my energy on her.
After a few minutes of greets we all sat down facing each other at the dining room table. Noah, her brother, watched me like a hawk, as if he were ready to pounce. I folded my hands under the table to appear calm.
Her father, Colt, cleared his throat. “Christian, I think it’s time you tell us why you’re here.”
She placed her hands flat on the table. “I’m not pregnant. Let me just say that since I can tell you’re all freakin’ out.”
Noah got up from the table. “Well since that’s the case I’m gettin’ back to work. I only came to make sure I didn’t have to kick some ass.”
In a low murmur Chris spoke. “You might want to wait actually.”
Noah looked at me as he sat back down.
Her mother smiled. “Honey, just tell us what’s going on. Is it school? Is it your grades? Do you and Ethan want to move in together?”
“I was raped.”
Her words were finally clear as the people at the table gasped for air. As shocked as they were, I couldn’t take my eyes off of Chris, who’d covered her face and started to cry.
Her mother rushed to her side, wrapping her arms around her daughter. “Oh my God. How did this happen? Who did this to you? Colt, call the lawyer.”
Noah raised his brow, directing all of his attention toward me. “When did it happen?” He knew his sister was in no condition to go on as both of their parents now crowded over her.
“A couple days ago. She didn’t even want to tell me, man. It took everything I had to drag her here. She thinks it will only make things worse.”
Noah pulled out his phone, and right away I could tell he was on the phone with an attorney. He walked into another room but kept on talking.
Chris finally calmed enough to begin explaining what had happened to her parents. All I could do was sit there and listen as the story ripped through me yet again. There came a point when I knew they needed to be alone with their daughter. I stepped outside on the porch and found her brother leaning against the railing. “Thanks for takin’ care of my sister.” He spit something out into the grass then put his head back down. “Do you know who this asshole is?”
“Yeah, I know him. He’s on a sport’s scholarship. He’s a senior. He’s popular, and accordin’ to Chris’ roommates, he’s not capable of somethin’ so heinous.”
He let out an air-filled laugh. “Of course he isn’t. Just tell me where to find him. I’ll take care of the rest.”
“No you won’t, Noah.” Her father walked out to keep his son from doing any further damage. “From this moment on we’re handlin’ it the right way. Uncle John’s on his way over. We’re goin’ to get a police report, and have the boy picked up for rape. Once he’s in custody we can meet with the attorney and figure out what has to be done to protect your sister. She filled us in on the roommate situation, and from here on out she’s stayin’ with us. I’ll be damned if I let a bunch of idiot kids brake my daughter’s heart. She ain’t never done nothin’ to deserve this.”
The man was full of pain, so much that it made me think about having my own kids. Even though he seemed calm, I could tell he was determined to get justice for his child.
“She can stay with me and remain in school. I have no contact with those people, Mr. Mitchell.”
“Ethan, as much as Savanna and I appreciate you helping Christian, I’m going to have to ask you to head back to school. We can take care of our daughter here. If you want to come and visit I’m sure she’d appreciate it. For right now she needs to get medical attention, not just physically, but mentally.”
“Yes, sir.” Even though I hated it, I knew I had to be mindful that this was now a family matter. I may have been her best friend, but this was definitely a private situation. “Do you mind if I see her before I go?”
“Not at all.” He motioned for me to go back inside of the house. Right before I reached the front door he said something that made me stop in my tracks. “Thanks again for bein’ there, Ethan. I know you care a great deal about my daughter. Make sure she knows you’ll be stoppin’ by to visit. I think she needs to hear that.”
When I walked inside I felt a part of me feeling defeated. I don’t know why I assumed they’d want me to stick around. I suppose I hadn’t thought that far ahead. The moment our eyes met I knew it was going to be hard to say goodbye to her, especially where there was so much left unsaid.
Chapter 21
Christian
Ethan had pushed me to tell my parents, and even though I hated the idea, nothing could have prepared me for the emotions that I’d go through when I saw the looks on their faces.
I’d thought it was hard telling Ethan all of the brutal details of my attack, but looking into my dad’s eyes and seeing pure pain was unimaginable. My mother broke down after only a few minutes, and though he’d said he wouldn’t leave my side, eventually Ethan had to leave the room.
I couldn’t blame him for needing air. He hadn’t experienced what I did, but I knew after hearing other stories from victims he’d been affected. The horrors of what had occurred to other people were shocking. It made me want to lock myself away and never come out into society again.
My uncle John was the sheriff. Since his retirement he’d been traveling all over the place with my aunt Karen. When they arrived neither knew what they were walking into. It was a Godsend when I realized I wasn’t the one who had to fill them in on all of the gory details. It was one thing to put on a strong face, but it was another to actually feel like I c
ould conquer this large mountain of despair.
It only took my aunt and uncle a couple minutes to come rushing to my side offering some sort of condolences for my gruesome encounter. As much as I loved my family, I didn’t want this kind of treatment. I wanted to forget, albeit every time I saw them I’d be reminded that they were thinking about what happened to me. In many ways it was going to make it more difficult to forget.
While sitting down at my parent’s large, dining room table I listened to my uncle telling them what needed to be done. Hearing him go on and on about police involvement sent me into an apprehensive state.
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