You and Only You

by Young, Brooke

  Adam said calmly, trying to diffuse the situation, “Berkleigh, did you use a memory disk this weekend?”

  She shook her head no, looking him straight in his eyes. Adam wanted desperately to believe her.

  “Carlos,” she turned to him, “is that conclusive? Are you sure the hacker isn’t trying to throw us off?”

  Carlos shook his head and with apologetic eyes said, “Sorry Berkleigh, it’s irrefutable. A device was plugged into your port and reports accessible only to the corporate’s most senior staff were downloaded.”

  Margaret opened the conference room door and said, “Sorry to interrupt, but there is a Jack Ashford here for you Adam. He said you’re expecting him.”

  At the mention of Jack’s name, Berkleigh, whose back was to the door, whirled around in her chair with her eyes wide open, completely stunned.

  Adam nodded and said, “Yes, please apologize to him as I’m running behind. Tell him I will be available in 20 or 25 minutes.”

  “Will do,” she agreed and left.

  Adam turned to everybody and stated, “Look, we have a lot to discuss but Chris and I agreed to have this meeting so let’s meet again after lunch. Everyone stay calm, we will work through this. Now if you will excuse us,” he turned to Chris, “Chris, I would like to talk with you in my office, prior to this meeting with Jack.” They left so this gave Berkleigh an opportunity to go out into the lobby to see if it was really her Jack Ashford.

  It was. Her mouth dropped open. She was visibly trembling and confused. She walked past him without acknowledgement acting as if she was leaving to go down the hall and use the restroom.

  Jack waited as long as he could… which was about 20 seconds. He told Margaret that he needed to use the restroom and would be back. Berkleigh was pacing at the end of the hall, completely confused, as Jack made his way toward her.

  28

  As soon as he made eye contact with her, she knew. The guilt written all over his face was a dead giveaway, but she saw it in his eyes as he averted his gaze away from her.

  “Oh my God!” Eyes wide open as she ran her fingers through her hair. She exclaimed, “It was you!! You downloaded the reports, didn’t you?”

  Her breathing was labored as she desperately tried to put it all together. Gently grabbing her arms to calm her down, Jack pleaded, “Berk, give me a chance to explain…” his voice trailed off as she brushed his arms off her, for the first time feeling absolutely nothing from his touch.

  “Do NOT touch me,” she was practically yelling.

  Raising his hands in a passive manner to show he respected her wishes, “Berkleigh, please,” he begged quietly. His eyes seemed sincere but there couldn’t be a good enough explanation for what he had done.

  “What are you doing here? Why did you access reports? Who are you? Is your name even really Jack?” She was throwing questions out quicker than he could answer of all of them.

  “Yes, my name is Jack. Jack Ashford,” he took a deep breath. “I really need you to compose yourself, so I can explain because in a few minutes,” he pointed toward the lobby door of her office, “they are expecting me back in there and they cannot be suspicious of me what-so-ever.”

  Taking a deep breath and nodding but not saying a word, she indicated she would hear him out. He was quite frankly shocked that she was going to give him a chance to explain his actions without her storming away.

  “I’m here doing a consulting job for TGS,” he motioned with his fingers making the quotation marks when he referenced consulting job. I know Adam and Chris. But here’s the thing,” he paused as he was about to drop a huge metaphorical bomb on her, “I don’t really consult for banks…” another pause, he closed his eyes for a second and then looked her directly in her eyes, “I’m a CIA agent.”

  She backed against the wall as she felt her body collapsing, her chest tightened, and her eyes grew big, “You’re what?!”

  “Shhh… please,” he pleaded with her, looking at his watch. “I work for the CIA. I’m on a case regarding some international clients of your company. Those guys you met in Hawaii… may be some very bad people. I can’t tell you everything right now. I just need you to trust me.”

  She laughed at his last statement with a fixed stare, “Trust you?” she asked. “How can I possibly trust you when you have been lying to me about what you do? Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that you accessed my computer, Jack… without my permission and implicating me!”

  His eyes were apologetic but suddenly Berkleigh connected everything all the way back to Hawaii.

  In a high-pitched tone that she did not know she was even capable of she exclaimed, “Oh my god, it was all planned, wasn’t it? Dinner with me, golfing, dinner with our clients. Inviting me to your house...that was so you could access my computer…” everything was coming back to her, her eyes widened as she continued, “the private jet, and mysterious phone calls. Holy shit!” Berkleigh ran her fingers through her hair as the realization hit her, “Jack, you pulled some strings at the hotel and made sure you were right next door to me in Hawaii, didn’t you?”

  “Berkleigh,” he said softly.

  “Didn’t you?” she said quietly but with apparent anger in her voice. Before she could stop them, her eyes welled up with tears, “None of it was real for you, was it? I was just an ‘assignment’ to you.” Tears streamed uncontrollably down her face.

  Jack’s heart was breaking, “No, Babydoll…,”

  She interrupted, “Don’t!” She exclaimed as she pointed her finger angrily in his face. “You don’t get to call me that anymore.”

  “Prior to my travel out there, the CIA learned that TGS might be involved,” he said softly, “so they wanted me to talk to you. I planned to attend the conference to meet with the three international guys and try to gather some intelligence. In terms of you, I was simply going to introduce myself and determine if it appeared whether you had any knowledge of the predicted involvement. But you must believe me, everything that happened between us was…is real.”

  He continued, “I’m sorry I had to access your computer, but there’s a potential threat to the United States and time was of the essence. I promise, Berk, if there was any other way, I would’ve taken it.” His eyes pleaded desperately for her to understand.

  Jack wiped the tears on one side of her cheek; she moved her face away, so he couldn’t touch her.

  “You know what, Jack,” she whispered and looked him straight in his eyes, “I had fallen so deeply for you that had you asked, I would’ve given you access to my computer and taken the fall for it. But you didn’t,” she started crying again, “I trusted you with the darkest secret of my life and you betrayed me, you used me. You meant everything to me and I meant nothing to you.”

  “Babydo…” he caught himself. His voice became desperate, “Berk, you mean everything to me. I couldn’t tell you until we knew for certain that you weren’t involved. The only way the agency was able to confirm that you weren’t was by pulling the reports from your laptop. I’m sorry. You have to believe me…I am so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I love you.”

  She held her shoulders high, wiped the tears from her eyes and just like that her wall that he had broken down so easily went right back up.

  “It doesn’t matter anymore, Jack. We’re done,” she said matter-of-factly, looking him straight in his eyes. “You know I’m not involved, but you suspect someone at TGS might be. You don’t need me anymore,” she said sadly.

  “Berk, please don’t end this. We have an amazing thing…” his eyes searched hers desperately hoping she would see he genuinely meant what he was saying.

  “Correction Jack, you made me think we had an amazing thing,” she commented coldly.

  “Berkleigh, they are going to be looking for me and I have to act as though I’m here to consult. I know you’re upset and you have every right to be. But please,” he was grasping frantically at the opportunity to meet with her privately and convince her to give them a c
hance, “after this meeting, give me a chance to show you that everything about us is real. Please?” he raised his eyebrows, hoping his appeal to her worked.

  “I can’t,” her lips pursed, “I just can’t. I had opened my heart and trusted you completely. How could you do this to me?” Her eyes started to well up with tears again. She couldn’t believe the words that were about to come out of her mouth, but they did. She spoke slowly, “You said there’s a potential threat to America. You’ve used me already, so use me one more time. I am meeting with all of them again this afternoon. What do you need me to do to help?” she sounded weary but sincere. She can’t believe the change in emotion she felt for Jack in a short 24-hour period.

  Jack ran his fingers through his hair and resigned to the fact that Berkleigh was not going to forgive him. His voice was shaky with this conclusion as he truly loved her, but he needed to respect the fact that she felt betrayed by him, a person she trusted with her heart.

  Jack, surprised that she volunteered to help them, reluctantly said, “John, my boss, asked me to ask you if you will take the fall so we can continue with the investigation undetected. It won’t be long before IT discovers the IP address and links it to my address which will raise a lot of questions unless they realize you were at my house and admit to having accessed the reports. I know it’s a lot. You’re going to lose your job but…” he stopped, his heart breaking as her tears kept falling.

  She interrupted and looked him straight in the eye. Her beautiful blues eyes shone brightly beneath a new set of tears and said, “I’ve lost everything in the last 15 minutes, Jack.”

  That one stung significantly causing him to close his eyes, it was difficult to look at her. After a moment he continued his thought, “but the agency will compensate you for your cooperation.”

  She laughed at the irony, “I slept with you apparently as an “asset” to the CIA this whole time, if I get paid, wouldn’t that make me a whore?!?” she asked mockingly. She continued, “I’m surprised you didn’t suggest role playing, you would be the sexy, charming CIA agent. Oh- never mind, we played that in real life!” She was angry again, clearly feeling the whole gamut of emotions.

  “Berkleigh, if I could take Saturday back when I accessed your computer, I would in a heartbeat.” The mention of heartbeat broke Berkleigh’s own heart to the core because she realized she would never fall asleep to the amazing sound of this beautiful man’s heart beat again. Three hours ago, she thought she was in love. Now she was so conflicted. She needed to get some air and get away from him. The longer he talked, the better the chance he had of persuading her to listen and she wasn’t sure she wanted that. She didn’t know what she wanted.

  “I have to go, Jack. You have my word that I will take the fall this afternoon. I hope I can actually trust you that I will receive financial assistance for my part in this,” the trust comment punched him straight in the gut. “Please text me the name of a contact that I can fill in after my meeting. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

  He sighed, not knowing what else to say. She looked at him one more time. He looked completely broken down, the same way she felt.

  “Okay, Berk,” he said softly, “I’m so, so sorry I hope you know. Thank you for your help.”

  “Don’t flatter yourself…I’m not doing it for you, Jack,” she said crossly attempting to inflict some amount of hurt on him. A part of her wanted to even the score a little bit given the level of heartbreak she felt, “I’m doing it for my country.”

  With that she spun on her heels and walked away. Jack watched the woman of his dreams, the woman he was madly in love with walk away from their relationship for good. Tears welled up in his eyes. He pressed his hand over his heart as he stood there with an intense aching in his chest. The only other time his heart hurt this badly is when he said his final goodbye to his mother.

  29

  Berkleigh stepped into the ladies’ room to clean her face before going back into the office. Her plan was to leave for lunch, go to her hotel down the street, fix her makeup and pack her bag. She hoped she would be on the next flight back home following her early afternoon meeting. She had to get through the day but when she got home, she would allow herself to mourn the ‘death’ of her relationship for days…or weeks. Who cares how long! I won’t have a job or a boyfriend. I can take all the time to heal I need. I can stay in my pajamas all day long until the incredible memory of Jack subsides. She knew, in her broken heart, that it would likely take months to get over him.

  Jack went into the men’s room to quickly splash water on his face and compose himself. He looked at his watch and decided he needed to get back into the office or his absence might garner suspicion. He saw a coffee cup in the trash from the restaurant downstairs and pulled it out of the trash- as gross as it seemed- so it appeared that he went to get a cup of coffee, which would explain his lengthy absence.

  Berkleigh remained in the bathroom long enough to avoid running into Jack again.

  He reentered the offices of TGS and Margaret smiled at him, clearly smitten. “There you are, Mr. Ashford,” she smiled, “Adam came out a couple of minutes ago and asked me to escort you to the conference room upon your return. Please follow me,” she said batting her eyes in a flirty manner despite the number of years she had on him. He was oblivious to her as he couldn’t get Berkleigh off his mind and how broken she appeared, regret consumed him that he was responsible for that. Margaret jolted him from his thoughts, when she gestured toward the conference room and said, “Please have a seat, they will only be a few minutes. Can I get you anything other than coffee?” she pointed to the cup he was holding.

  “No, I’m fine, thank you,” he smiled. She was giddy as she walked away.

  Jack chose a seat that faced the windows that lined the internal hall leading to all the offices, hoping to see Berkleigh. Seeing her was the only view from the conference room that mattered to him.

  Once Berkleigh felt enough time had passed, she straightened her business suit, held her head high and went back into the lobby of TGS.

  Margaret seemed unaware of the range of emotions Berkleigh had just experienced when she decided to bond with the only other woman in the office at the time, “Did you get a look at that Jack Ashford guy? He’s so charming,” she giggled like a school girl.

  “Yep,” she said sweetly trying to mask her feelings, “he’s a good-looking guy.” She proceeded toward the office she was using before Margaret could say anything else about the man she loves…loved…Berkleigh didn’t know what she felt.

  As she passed the conference room, her eyes caught Jack’s. Oh my god, he looks so sincerely sorry about this. No Berkleigh, he betrayed you. It’s over. She was so conflicted she decided to gather her items and leave for lunch a little early. As she grabbed her purse, her phone made a sound Ding! “Remember, I’m one of the good guys Berk. You said so yourself a couple of days ago. Just give me a chance to prove my love for you.” Her heart raced, her head hurt. She considered meeting up with him after her meeting with TGS, but she shook her head, put her phone in her purse and walked back past the conference room without looking his way. Jack was devastated.

  “Margaret, I’m going out for lunch. Please let everyone know I will be back for the 1:00 meeting,” she said kindly. After all, it wasn’t Margaret’s fault Jack did this.

  “Will do, Berkleigh,” Margaret responded back sweetly.

  30

  Berkleigh went back to her hotel, freshened up her makeup and packed her bag. She then went to one of her favorite restaurants in walking distance of both the hotel and corporate to eat lunch. It was very cold outside, but she didn’t notice as she focused on her racing thoughts.

  She picked at her chicken salad sandwich and chips, barely eating anything while trying to digest all that had happened in a short time.

  Jack is with the CIA. Jack is a freaking CIA agent. Bond, James Bond she recalled him saying in Hawaii. He was trying to tell me. He wanted to tell me, right? Age
nts are super secretive and can’t really talk about what they do. It certainly explains everything about him. I guess my paranoia wasn’t completely off. TGS may be involved with something that could affect America? What the hell?!? If that is the case, everyone may be losing their job, so I won’t be worse for wear. The firm’s reputation won’t withstand such controversy. This is just too much information to take. I’m emotional and hurt. I have a job to do. They can’t have me arrested when I admit to downloading reports I wasn’t supposed to, can they? No, they wouldn’t want that, it would raise questions I don’t think they want to answer right now. Worst case, they will just fire me.

  Berkleigh spent her entire lunch deep in thought. She looked down at her watch and realized it was already 12:50 pm so she made her way back to the office, her bag in tow.

  Meanwhile, Jack faked his way through a “consultation meeting” with Adam and Chris. By the end, they shook hands and Jack promised to follow up with reports they had requested. They were none the wiser of Jack’s real identity.

  When Jack left the office, he sent a text to Berkleigh. Ding! “Good luck Berk. I can’t imagine how hard this will be. I know you are pissed at me, but I will be in town if you want to meet after to talk.”

  She simply could not allow herself to respond. It would leave Jack to believe they had a chance when they didn’t.

  31

  Chris was in the conference room when Berkleigh arrived back at the office. Apparently, they were waiting on Carlos and Adam to return from a quick lunch.

  Several minutes passed as Berkleigh stared out of the window, neither of them saying anything.

  Finally, Adam and Carlos joined them. “I have something to say,” Berkleigh said softly with her eyes down. She practiced this several times on her way back to the office. “It was me. I was trying to find information on the international accounts to network with a business professional that I met in Hawaii at the conference. I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused everybody.”