An Accidental Family

by Ami Weaver

  “I’m hardly under any kind of scrutiny. Besides, I don’t think this is any worse than my divorce,” she said dryly. “And it’s a much happier occasion.”

  Jacqui shook her head. “Don’t make a joke of it. You don’t understand. You never have.”

  Lainey hesitated, then simply turned and walked toward the door. There wasn’t anything else to say. Behind her, she heard her mother on the phone with the housekeeper, telling her to come clean up the mess.

  Outside, she took a deep breath as she got in her car and drove out of the driveway. Then she pulled over. She reached for her cell and called her brother.

  Amazingly, Kevin answered.

  “You’re not in surgery today?”

  “Nope. Office visits all day. I’ve only got a few minutes, though. What’s up?”

  Lainey fiddled with the steering wheel. “I just came from home.”

  “Oh? How’s Mom?”

  Lainey stared out the window, not seeing the rain on the windshield. “I kind of shocked her, Kev. She’s not happy.”

  “You told her you’re pregnant?”

  Tears stung her eyes. Even though she’d suspected he knew. “How did you know?”

  He sighed. “I can just tell. Where are you going for your OB?”

  Lainey filled him in on the details.

  “Is Lawless the father?”

  Oh, she wished. Of the few men she’d been involved with, he was the most honorable, hands down. “No,” she whispered.

  He made a noise that could have been anything. “I caught him looking at you a couple times on Saturday. Really looking. Not how a brother wants a guy to look at his kid sister.”

  She nearly laughed, and tried to ignore the spurt of pleasure and pain his words caused. “Wow. I’m pretty sure you’re wrong. And don’t ask me any more about the father, okay? It’s not—he’s not interested in being a father.”

  “That’s too damn bad,” he growled. “Do you need me to hunt him down?”

  Now she did laugh, at the vision of her respectable surgeon older brother beating the hell out of Jon. It would be quite a match, but her money would be on Kevin. “No. But, thanks.”

  A pause. “That’s not right, Lainey. He shouldn’t leave you—”

  “It’s okay,” she interrupted him. “We’re better off without him.”

  Kevin sighed. “All right. And, little sis? You’ll be a hell of a mother.”

  His words and his faith in her warmed her. It was so nice to have him stand up for her. But still... “I don’t want to be like our mother,” she whispered. There it was...her deepest fear.

  Kevin snorted. “You won’t be. She somehow flat-out missed the maternal gene. You’ve got it in spades. You feeling okay?”

  “Yeah. Just a little tired. Thankfully I don’t have much nausea.”

  “Okay, good. I’ve got to run. I’ll stop by and see Mom after I get out of here. Let me know if I can help, okay? You don’t have to do this alone.”

  His words brought tears to her eyes. “Thanks, Kev. I will,” she promised, and disconnected, feeling a little better. Kevin would smooth out what Lainey couldn’t, but she doubted either of them could make Jacqui see this as a good thing.

  She tucked the phone back into her purse and sat for another few moments. Her mother’s reaction hadn’t really shocked her. Jacqui would spin and spin, but in the end it was what Lainey did that mattered, and she’d make it work on her own. Again, if things were different— But they weren’t. Whatever was going on with Ben, it had him clearly reluctant to make even the slightest commitment. She needed someone reliable.

  So far the only reliable one was herself. The irony of that wasn’t lost on her.

  * * *

  Lainey stood in her new backyard the next day after work and stared up into the nearly empty oak tree, then down at the ground where she stood ankle deep in yellow-brown leaves. Yesterday they’d all been on the tree. Today they were all on the ground. Clearly it was time for a trip to the hardware store to buy a rake.

  She trudged through the leaves, hearing the crunch under her feet, on her way out front to her car. Her trip to the hardware store, where she purchased a rake, leaf bags, and a pair of work gloves, took less than half an hour.

  She went out back, rake in hand, and tilted her face to the sun. She had a couple of hours before it would be too dark. Might as well make the most of it.

  She hadn’t been going for more than ten minutes when Ben’s big truck pulled in the driveway. Her pulse kicked up and she gripped the rake a little harder. She walked over to the gate to greet him.

  “Hi,” she said, when he emerged from the truck and turned her way. She tried not to devour him with her eyes. She wanted to curl herself into his embrace, feel his warmth through the black fleece jacket he wore—

  Wait. No, she didn’t.

  “Hey,” he said, coming closer, his expression neutral. His gaze dropped to her belly. “Is this okay, in your condition?”

  “Of course. I’m not doing any heavy lifting, so I’m fine,” she said. “I can do pretty much anything as long as I don’t overdo it.”

  He lifted his gaze to hers. “I can see you overdoing it.”

  She smiled and shook her head. “I’m very careful. I’m not going to put the baby in any danger.”

  “Of course you won’t. I’ll help.”

  She tried not to stare at the rear view as he walked to the bed of his truck. How could she not notice how those worn jeans hugged his rear and thighs just right? She cleared her throat. “Do you just carry a rake in the back of your truck for emergencies?”

  “I was here earlier and saw what had happened,” he answered as she stepped aside for him to come through the gate. Before she could ask, he

  nodded to the garage. “The light in there was out. I put in a new bulb.”

  “I’m going to get spoiled—all this personal landlord service,” she teased, and saw his back stiffen. “Not to worry. I can change my own lightbulbs.”

  He sent her a grin. “Does your mother know?”

  “Shh,” she murmured. “She’ll hear you.”

  He laughed and started raking.

  They worked in relative silence for a bit. Lainey kept sneaking glances at him. He’d unzipped his jacket and, while the tee shirt he wore underneath wasn’t exactly skin-tight, she could still see the play of muscles underneath it when he raked.

  She exhaled. It had certainly gotten hotter out here since he had shown up.

  They raked a big pile over the next little while, and a slight breeze stirred the remaining leaves on the tree and several came floating down. He reached out and plucked a piece of one out of her hair, his fingers lingering on the strands. Her mouth went dry at the intense heat in his gaze and her pulse kicked up when he dropped his gaze to her mouth. Lainey stopped herself from leaning forward, from pressing her mouth to his. He stepped back and offered her the leaf with a small smile.

  She took it and twirled the stem in her fingers. “Wow, thanks.” She held it up, looking at the red and green threaded in with the yellow. “Pretty, isn’t it?”

  He closed his hand over hers. She looked up into his gaze.

  “Gorgeous,” he murmured, drawing her closer and she knew, with a flutter deep inside, that he wasn’t talking about the leaf anymore.

  He settled his mouth over hers. With a sigh, she melted into him, opening, letting his tongue slip in. When the kiss became deeper, hotter, she fisted the front of his jacket and he gripped her hips, drawing her closer, before plunging one hand into her hair, angling her head to thrust his tongue even deeper.

  Fire skipped through her veins, burned along her nerve-endings, sent heat arrowing into the depth of her belly. She pressed closer, feeling his hardness against her and the answering heat of her res
ponse.

  Suddenly he broke the kiss, though he didn’t pull away from her, but rested his forehead on hers. Their breath mingled as she tried to calm her breathing. Every time he touched her she craved more. It wasn’t enough. But it was all there was. Frustration welled and she squeezed her eyes shut.

  “Lainey,” he murmured, his voice raw and rough. “I told myself I’d stay away, but...” His voice trailed off as he stepped back, and she shivered from the loss of his heat. “We’d better get to work.”

  Shaking, Lainey bent to retrieve her discarded rake. She needed to pull back, keep this kind of thing from happening.

  But the real question was, did she want to? In her heart, she feared the answer was no.

  CHAPTER NINE

  IT DIDN’T TAKE all that long to make a huge pile. Ben pulled some sticks out. “When was the last time you jumped in a leaf pile?”

  Shame flushed Lainey’s cheeks. “Well, never.”

  He stared at her. “No way? All those trees on your parents’ land and you never played in a leaf pile?”

  “No. My mother—you’d have to know my mother. She’s not big on dirt.” That sounded sad, but it was the truth.

  “Oh.” There was a wealth of understanding in the word. “I see.”

  She looked at him in surprise. “You do?”

  He nodded. “You need to experience it before the baby gets here. Let me make sure all the sticks are out.”

  He poked in the pile and she watched with a combination of amusement and exasperation. After extracting a few more sticks, he fluffed the pile with his rake and turned, the satisfaction on his face making her laugh.

  “Does it pass muster?” she teased gently.

  He nodded. “You’re not too far along for this, are you?”

  On impulse, Lainey unzipped her vest and ran her hand over her very slight baby bump. The tenderness in his eyes as he watched made her breath catch. “Am I jumping out of a tree?”

  His gaze jerked up. “Of course not.”

  “Then I’ll be fine.” She leapt lightly into the pile, landing on her knees. The crackle of the leaves and their fresh scent invigorated her. She laughed and threw an armful of leaves in the air, then tried to cover her head when they came raining back down.

  “Incoming!” Ben called, and before she could scramble too far over he came crashing into the pile with her. He gave her a big grin—the first she’d seen with no shadows, no pain in his eyes—and tossed a handful of leaves at her. “So, what do you think?”

  She threw some back at him. “It was worth the wait.”

  He laughed. “Yeah? Awesome.” He turned and flopped back, folding his hands under his head. “I’m guessing you never looked at cloud shapes either?”

  “Stop reminding me how deprived my childhood was,” she scolded him with a laugh, and he snaked out a hand and pulled her head down to his. The sweetness of this kiss after the passion of the earlier one threw her.

  When she pulled back, searching his face with her gaze, he touched her cheek, twining his fingers in her hair. “I’m sorry,” he said.

  She arched a brow. “For what?”

  “For all you missed. I assumed, growing up as you did, you had everything.”

  She shrugged and pulled a leaf out of his hair. “I had everything material you could want. Only I didn’t actually want it. I didn’t get time with my parents. But I see now my mom didn’t know how to raise us. She was so caught up in perceptions that just letting me be a kid wasn’t possible. She meant well, but...” She sat up in the leaves. “We turned out okay, Kevin and I. Him more than me,” she added with a little sigh, thinking of her struggling shop, her pregnancy and her money woes.

  Ben frowned. “Don’t do that.”

  Startled, she looked at him. “Do what?”

  “Put yourself down like that. You’re living life on your terms. How is that not okay?”

  “Oh.” She nibbled on her lip while she thought. “You’re right. I hadn’t thought of it like that. I guess I just want to prove I can do it.”

  “You are. You will.” He stood up and extended a hand to her.

  His quiet confidence warmed her down to her toes and her heart tipped dangerously.

  “Let’s get this done.”

  She grasped his warm, callused palm and let him draw her to her feet. “Okay.”

  They managed to load about half the leaves into bags before it got too dark. Lainey’s arms and back were screaming, and it was with an incredible sense of relief that she dropped her rake on the ground to stretch her back.

  “Did you overdo it?” The concern in his voice made her smile.

  “According to my back and arms, yes. But none of that will hurt the baby.”

  “Go on in,” he told her. “I’ll put these things in the garage. I’ll finish tomorrow.”

  She hesitated before starting toward the house. “Do you—do you want to come in? For coffee or something?”

  “I’d like that,” he said softly. “If you think you aren’t too tired?”

  “No, I’m fine. Come in when you’re done.”

  She hurried into the house and started the coffee maker. A quick trip to the bathroom revealed wild hair and a nose bright red from the cold.

  Oooh. Sexy.

  Though Ben clearly hadn’t minded. He’d kissed her. Twice.

  Would there be a third time?

  She shook her head at her reflection. Stop it. She detoured to the living room to switch on the fire. While the walls were bare in here, as she hadn’t had a chance yet to deal with artwork, she’d gotten the furniture arranged like she wanted and unpacked pillows and a couple throws. It was comfy enough for the moment. Ben would understand.

  When she got back to the kitchen she caught a glimpse of him coming out of the garage. For just a heartbeat she was a wife and a mom, waiting for her man to come in.

  The thought threw her. She’d been a wife, and had given up waiting for her man to come in pretty quickly. She was going to be a mom—and that terrified her. But she’d never felt for her ex-husband what she felt for Ben—and she wasn’t even in love with Ben.

  Not yet.

  Reeling from that thought, she opened the cupboard to take out coffee mugs as Ben came in through the back door. She gave him a bright smile. “It’s decaf. That okay?”

  “Sure,” he said, and shrugged out of his jacket.

  She poured his and handed it to him. “Let’s go in here,” she said and led the way to the living room. She settled on the couch with him across from her.

  “Something wrong? You look a little pale.”

  Ben’s casual comment threw her. She certainly couldn’t tell him he was part of what was worrying her. “I’m not ready to be a mother,” she blurted. “But I’m committed now.”

  He looked genuinely surprised. “Why do you think you’re not ready?”

  “I’m still getting my shop off the ground. I’m not in the best place financially.” He just looked at her and she shut her eyes. “I’m not. My parents are wealthy, yes, but there was no trust fund or anything. It was kind of understood I’d either get a fantastic career or a loaded husband. Or both.” She stared at his shoulder, unable to meet his eyes. “I managed to do neither.”

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he said softly.

  She looked at him and the misery in her eyes nearly had him reaching for her. He wanted to tuck her under his arm and hold her against his chest, where he already knew she fit perfectly.

  “I know it shouldn’t be. And my ex-husband is a real doozy. Seven years of my life I’ll never get back. But somehow it is—in my family. I’m happy where I am. I’m just—”

  She stopped and he saw the sheen of tears. “Just what?”

  “So worried. Becaus
e I don’t want to be a bad mother,” Lainey blurted, and covered her face with her hands.

  Now he did reach for her, and caught her wrists and gently pulled her hands away. “Why would you think you would be?”

  She gave a harsh little laugh and looked down in her lap. “My mother has no maternal genes. None. Zero. We aren’t close, even though it seems like I see her all the time. I don’t want my baby to feel like he or she doesn’t matter.”

  Anger washed through him. “You feel like you don’t matter?”

  She stood up and walked over to the fireplace. She stared into the dancing flames. “I— Yes. I’ve never really been a part of the family. I always felt like just a prop, I guess. The black sheep.”

  He came up behind her and slid his hands down her arms. “You are going to be a wonderful mother, Lainey.” When she shook her head, he leaned down and pressed his cheek to hers, inhaled her sweet scent. “Listen to me. I haven’t known you long, but what I see is a warm, compassionate, giving woman who cares deeply about those who matter to her. You’re strong. You’re sweet. You’re funny. All of that is going to translate naturally to motherhood.”

  She turned in his arms and looked up at him, her eyes huge in the soft light of the lamp and the fire. The uncertainty in her eyes killed him.

  “You think so?”

  He’d meant every word. He touched her face, unable to stop himself from feeling her soft skin. She leaned into him just slightly, eyes closed, and he swallowed hard but couldn’t step away even if he wanted to. Which, God help him, he didn’t.

  “No. I know so.”

  Her eyes fluttered open and he gave in, lowering his mouth to hers, hearing her sharp inhale. He hesitated at the last second. Her breath feathered over his and she closed the gap, coming up to meet him. He slipped his hands in her hair, even though they really wanted to roam farther south. All he wanted to do right now was feel.

  Lainey. Only Lainey.

  The kiss grew more urgent quickly, and she opened to him with a little growl in her throat that only served to fuel his internal fire. When her arms went around his neck and she pressed her length against him he was lost.