An Accidental Family

by Ami Weaver

  Beth held up a hand. “I know you want to do this all on your own. But you can be a success even with a partner. It doesn’t make it less because you have help.” She smiled and touched Lainey’s shoulder. “Think about it, okay?”

  “I will,” she promised.

  After Beth left, she stared at the numbers on the screen. Beth buying in would mean a new cooler. Repairs on the van, which even today had given her fits about going into gear. Bigger payments to her parents and therefore being out from under their thumb earlier.

  Excitement and hope flared.

  It was tempting. But was it the right decision?

  She stood and paced out into the shop. She took in the silk flowers, the cheery Halloween-themed window. Sure, the carpet was worn, and the cash register was old but completely reliable. The fresh scent of the flowers overlaid everything and made it feel almost homey. This place was more than just a business. She loved it—loved all of it. It suited her to a T. Because of that, she couldn’t let it go under. What good was it to be determined to prove herself if ultimately it sank her? That would only prove her parents right and she’d be back where she started.

  She’d gone too far to let it all go under now.

  She took a deep breath and walked into the backroom. Beth was right. She just needed to make sure the numbers were stable enough for her friend to take the risk. And then she and Beth and Mark would look them over together. She wouldn’t let them buy in if it turned out to be too risky. She wanted to succeed, but she was pragmatic enough to realize she wasn’t out of the woods just yet.

  A lightness she hadn’t felt in a very long time crept into her heart. This was the right thing to do. Too bad she’d been so damn blind she hadn’t been able to see it. Or maybe she hadn’t been ready to see it. She owed Beth for putting it all into perspective.

  * * *

  After leaving work, Lainey pulled into Rose’s driveway. She’d promised to take her friend to bingo. Ben’s truck sat there, and she tried to quash the silly little spurt of anticipation. She’d stop in and say hello. Sort of face the elephant in the room head-on—see if his confession to her had done any good for him.

  The light in the garage indicated he was in there, even though the big door was shut. She opened up the side door and stepped inside, almost holding her breath. How this went depended on how he looked at her when he saw her.

  Her heart sank when he turned. His face was the polite mask he’d worn when she’d first met him. “Lainey.”

  “Hello, Ben.” She kept her voice steady with effort. Two could play this game. He just looked at her and waited. “I just—wanted to see how you were. After last night.” Darn it, she sounded tentative. But his impassive expression wasn’t helping.

  “How should I be?” He kept his gaze on her. Completely shuttered. “Nothing’s changed, Lainey, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  Well, that was to the point. “Okay, then,” she said stiffly. “See you around.”

  And she left the garage, slamming the door behind her. Not the most mature of moves, but the man frustrated her no end.

  On the short walk to the house she took a couple of deep breaths, hoping Rose wouldn’t notice her mood. She didn’t want to be quizzed—just wanted to lick her wounds in peace.

  No such luck. Rose took one look at her as soon as she entered the kitchen and frowned. “Okay. First Ben, now you. That boy’s been in a serious funk all day. What happened? He won’t tell me.”

  Lainey blanched but managed a small smile. “Nothing happened.”

  Rose shook her head. “Oh, no. I may be old, but I’m neither blind nor stupid. There’s much more than that, isn’t there?” She sat back and examined Lainey. “Did he tell you about Jason?”

  She gave a little nod. “I don’t know what to tell him, Rose.”

  Her friend gave a little sigh. “There’s really not much to say. He’s got a lot to work out. On top of that, nothing ties a man up in knots more than when a relationship that was supposed to be casual turns out not to be.”

  Lainey gave a little shrug that she hoped was casual, even though she felt anything but. “It’s the wrong time.”

  Rose gave a decidedly unladylike snort. “It’s always the wrong time. You don’t get to pick when or who you’ll fall in love with, child. I see how that boy looks at you. Does he know you’re pregnant?”

  Despite Rose’s gentle tone, the words might as well have been a shout. Lainey winced. “Yes. How did you know?” Had Ben told Rose after she’d asked him not to?

  “Not from him,” Rose assured her. “I can just tell. You’ve changed physically. And the fact you told him should tell you something, honey.”

  Startled, Lainey met her friend’s gaze. “Tell me what?”

  “You told him before you told me,” she said gently, and raised a hand when Lainey opened her mouth to protest. “No—no, wait. I’m not saying you should have told me first. But think about it. Why did you tell Ben?”

  “I had to tell him why I couldn’t go to the hospital for an X-ray,” Lainey pointed out, but in retrospect she could see the holes in that theory. Why had she blurted it out?

  Rose nodded. “But there were other reasons you could have given. Or, for that matter, no reason at all. He didn’t need an explanation. A simple no thanks would have sufficed. He wouldn’t have pushed. But you felt safe enough to tell him. Am I right?”

  That was true. She hadn’t needed to tell him. But feeling safe? With Ben? He made her feel anything but safe.

  Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He’d made her feel safe and cherished the night they’d spent together. The danger from Ben wasn’t that he’d take her for granted, or treat her like her ex had. It was that he made her want things she couldn’t have, that he couldn’t give. And she wasn’t willing to open herself to any more emotional destruction.

  “Lainey.” Rose leaned forward. “I know you’ve been through an awful lot. You have very little reason to trust people. The fact you told him is significant. The fact he went to that party with you is significant. He hasn’t done anything social in months.”

  “The timing is all wrong,” Lainey said again, because it was true. “He’s not in any place for a relationship, and I— Well, I really need to do this on my own.” Actually, she was starting to rethink that statement. If Beth bought in to her shop what counted was making it a success. The same idea applied to her personal life. Having a partner in life would be wonderful—but only if it was the right man.

  Was Ben that man?

  Rose sat back. “I understand. I do. I just want to see both of you happy. And if the two of you could be happy together—well, that would do my heart good.”

  “I’ll be fine,” Lainey assured her. Fine wasn’t the same as happy, of course, and she doubted very much the distinction would be wasted on Rose.

  Rose studied her for a long moment, then

  nodded. “I’m glad to hear it,” she said. “We should get going. Don’t want to be late for bingo.”

  Grateful to be off the hook, Lainey stood up and gathered her purse and keys.

  As she wheeled her friend down the ramp Ben came out of the garage. Her heart gave a little leap and she was glad she was behind Rose, so her sharp-eyed friend didn’t read anything that might be on her face. He gave Lainey a nod and she managed to smile back. As he came closer she could see the stress lines bracketing his mouth. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to go to him and smooth them away, to hold him and be held.

  She looked away instead.

  Ben helped Rose into the car and took care of the chair while Lainey slid behind the wheel. As they backed out of the driveway Rose narrowed her gaze on Ben, who stood watching them, hands in pockets. She muttered something that sounded like, “Foolish boy.”

  No, Lainey wanted to tell her. He’s smart
enough to know his limits.

  And so was she.

  * * *

  “So, we’ve got a Friday wedding this week,” Lainey noted. The flowers were simple and seasonal, fitting for a second wedding for both the bride and groom. They were starting on the bouquets today. “And a big order for a baptism on Sunday.”

  “Isn’t it great?” Beth asked as she cut open a flower box. “Word is getting out. We’re doing good.”

  Lainey agreed. Part of her was a little sad, though, that her personal life seemed to be one-hundred-eighty degrees away from her growing professional life. But to dwell on it wouldn’t do her any good.

  “Speaking of weddings,” Beth said casually, “how’s Ben?”

  Lainey sent her a warning look. “Beth—”

  “What?” Her friend’s innocent look didn’t fool Lainey. She shook her head and Beth sighed. “Okay. I heard at the café that you and Ben were super cozy at the hospital gala.” She plopped a box on the worktable and sent Lainey a mock glare. “Of course I didn’t hear that from you. My supposed best friend and subject of such hot gossip.”

  Super-cozy. Well, she supposed they had been all wrapped up in each other and the spell of the evening. Dancing and kissing in the shadows. His car in front of her house for hours.

  “I— Well, yeah. I guess it would look that way.” She winced. “Don’t people have anything else to talk about? Surely there were more interesting couples than Ben and I?”

  Beth gave her a pitying look. “Lainey, I think the interesting part was the chemistry the two of you have. I heard that you were so hot together people were concerned you’d combust. Or maybe get down right there,” she added thoughtfully, earning a playful smack from Lainey.

  “Well, it doesn’t matter now,” she said, thinking of last night and how he’d been completely shut down. Pain lanced through her. She’d give anything to have this work out, to make it so they could be a couple.

  But that wasn’t an option. It was silly even to think it was.

  “How is that?” Beth asked. “The guy kissed you. At least that much. But from how red you just turned I’m guessing it’s much more than that. He helped you move. He took you to a formal party on short notice. Guys don’t just do that for women they aren’t interested in.”

  “His grandma sent him to help me,” Lainey muttered. Beth didn’t know how far things had gone with them, but they must have been giving off some pretty serious vibes at the gala. “And that first kiss was a pity kiss.”

  “Pity kiss?” Beth raised her brow. “Oh, come on, Laine. Ben doesn’t seem like that type. He’s so reserved. He’s not going to go around kissing women because he thinks it will make them feel better.”

  Beth had a point. Still... “I meant it was just the moment.” They’d had a lot of wonderful moments that she held on to tightly. Privately.

  “Moment or not—and I think you are withholding key information from me, but I’ll let it go this time—there’s clearly something between you. The question is, what are you going to do about it?”

  A little shiver ran through Lainey. That was the question. What was she going to do? She knew what she wanted, but not what he wanted. She stuffed a ’mum in florist foam with a little more force than was necessary and nearly bent it. “I’m not going there, Beth.”

  Beth touched her arm. “All kidding aside, why not?”

  She widened her eyes. “You know why, Beth. Look at my marriage. Look at how I got in this situation. I’m doing this alone. I’m barely hanging on. There’s no way he and I could make it work, even if I wanted it to. I need to keep him at a distance.” She wouldn’t tell Beth about Jason. It wasn’t her story to tell.

  “So you’ll shut him down?” Beth said quietly.

  She winced. Actually, he’d shut her down. More or less.

  Beth continued. “But you don’t have to do this alone. That’s the whole point. Okay, so maybe Ben’s not the guy for you. I don’t know one way or the other. Chemistry is wonderful, but definitely not the only thing to base a relationship on. But don’t shut yourself off all the way. Single parenting is hard. You might want someone to share it with.”

  “I—” She’d love to share it with Ben. She didn’t see another man coming into her life whom she’d want more. But it didn’t look as if that was to be. Unable to finish her sentence, she cleared her throat and changed the subject. “Well, we’ve got a lot to do here. Let’s get these done so the bride can relax.”

  Beth looked as if she wanted to say something, but simply shook her head instead.

  Lainey knew she was a coward. But it seemed like the only way to protect herself.

  * * *

  That night, Lainey had just propped her feet on the coffee table and turned the TV on when a knock sounded at the door. She padded over and peeked through the peephole to see her parents standing there. It wasn’t like them to drop by unannounced. She frowned as she opened the door.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Of course. Do you have a minute?” Her father’s voice was strangely formal. “We won’t stay long.”

  “I—yes, I do.” She stepped aside to let them in and tried to tamp down a little surge of nerves. There could be no good reason for this visit.

  Jacqui looked around the room as she slipped off her shoes. Lainey looked too—she was proud of the home she had created. A fire crackled in the hearth, and the low light of the lamps cast a warm glow over the space. She took a seat on the slip-covered couch. Panda was draped across the back. The cat didn’t even crack an eye open.

  Her parents sat in the chairs while Lainey muted the TV. Frankly, Survivor was a great backdrop for her wranglings with her parents. She set the remote carefully on the end table, dismayed to note her hand shook slightly.

  “Can I get you anything?” she asked, and they both shook their heads.

  “This is certainly—cozy,” Jacqui said carefully, and Lainey sighed. In this case, “cozy” wasn’t a compliment.

  “I think so,” she said, choosing to ignore her mother’s meaning. “I love it.”

  “Well.” Always one to cut to the chase, her father leaned forward. “We’ve got some information you might find interesting.”

  Her heart kicked up a bit. “Information? About what?”

  Her parents exchanged a look. “About Ben Lawless, dear,” her mother said.

  Lainey tensed. Oh, God. They’d dug into his past. She kept her voice level as she said, “Really?”

  “Yes.” Jacqui pulled some papers out of her monster bag and held them out. Lainey took them reluctantly. “I think you’ll find it interesting reading.”

  Lainey laid the pages on the couch next to her. She couldn’t bring herself to look too closely at them. Local Firefighter Under Fire was the heading on the first page. Poor Ben.

  “Why are you doing this?” She tried to keep her voice steady but failed.

  “So you can see once and for all why it’s a bad idea to get mixed up with him. Lainey, he’s directly responsible for the death of a fellow firefighter. Ben went in after being told not to. The other man went after him. As a result, a young family man is dead. Ben’s been removed from the squad. He’s had some mental health issues as well. He’s not stable. It’s in your best interests to stay away from him.” She nodded at the papers. “It’s all there.”

  Lainey sucked in a breath. “Oh, Mother. How could you? This is beneath you.”

  Jacqui recoiled and flushed slightly, and looked at her husband. Greg cleared his throat. “You don’t want to get mixed up with an unstable man, honey. You deserve better.”

  Lainey stared. Surely they couldn’t mean Daniel. “A lying, cheating man who threatens me is a better choice?”

  Greg winced slightly. “No. Of course not. But if Ben isn’t stable you could be hurt. And you’ve got
a child to think about. You’re going to be a mother. It’s time you were responsible and made better choices.”

  Lainey’s mouth fell open. She snapped it shut. “While I appreciate you looking out for me, I’m perfectly capable of making decisions for myself. You don’t know Ben. I do. He’s a far better man than Daniel. Than most men. He’s got honor, integrity and loyalty in spades. Not to mention he actually listens to what I say and doesn’t make any attempt to manipulate me. He’s a good man, and I never thought I’d find one like him. As for this—he’s told me himself.”

  She stomped over to the fireplace and placed the papers on the flames. They went up with a whoosh. If only it were that easy to help Ben be free of his demons. When she spun back around she saw her parents staring at her and realized with a sinking feeling she’d said far, far too much.

  “You’re in love with him.” Jacqui’s tone was shocked. “What do you think he can possibly give you?”

  Her mother’s words stymied her. In love with Ben? She couldn’t be. Could she? She’d been trying so hard not to be, teetering on the edge but holding her heart in reserve.

  She swallowed and tried to focus. “He can’t give me anything right now,” she said, and heard the sorrow in her voice. “But then again he never said he could.” And I’ve never asked. She’d been afraid of the answer. Just as she’d been afraid to admit she was flat-out in love with the man.

  Jacqui simply stared at her, her throat working. Greg stood and pulled his wife to her feet. “Lainey, for your sake I hope this infatuation passes quickly. You’ve got a lot going on, trying to keep your shop going and getting ready for the baby. If you have a prayer of making this work you need to let Ben go. He’s not the man for you.”

  “You’re wrong,” Lainey said, her voice quiet. She met her parents’ gazes squarely. “He is the man for me.” She knew it with all her heart. What she didn’t know was how to make him understand it.

  Greg herded a sputtering Jacqui out the door and Lainey sank back on the couch. In love with Ben.

  She squeezed her eyes shut tightly. She’d been doing her best to ignore the truth, but there it was. She was in love with him—in all likelihood had been since they’d skipped stones at the lake. When he’d been so gentle with her. When he’d kissed her the first time.