Folly and Forgiveness: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Lizzy Brandon

  Before leaving the room, Mr. Bingley turned to Jane. “All will be well,” he told her as he clasped her hand and offered an encouraging smile. Jane nodded, attempting to show a confidence she could not possibly feel.

  Elizabeth was surprised by the decisiveness shown by Mr. Bingley. She had heard that once he was roused to action, he moved quickly, but she had not witnessed such an event before. It boded well for Jane that he was able to act quickly when necessary.

  Assuming he would still marry Jane.

  Of course he would. The man would hardly go to this trouble for her family unless he was absolutely committed to marrying her.

  But what if Lydia was not married? Elizabeth refused to think further on such a situation. They all had problems enough at present without borrowing additional ones from tomorrow.

  Mrs. Gardiner began to write notes to her friends in Lambton, full of false excuses for their sudden departure. Mr. Gardiner returned long enough to say his farewells before hurrying out to the carriage. Elizabeth finished a note to Miss Darcy just as a kitchen maid brought a basket of food for their journey. Before long Elizabeth found herself seated in the carriage with hardly any memory of how she had come to be there.

  CHAPTER 36

  Elizabeth stared out the window as they rode to Longbourn. Mr. Bingley did his best to keep up their spirits by offering entertaining stories, but they often lapsed into worried silence. Elizabeth had averted her eyes, attempting to offer what privacy she could, when Mr. Bingley took Jane’s hand. Her sister was fortunate to have a man so steadfast in his love for her.

  Such fortune might have been hers as well, but Elizabeth had thrown away her opportunity by assuming she understood Mr. Darcy. She had understood the public version of the man, perhaps, but had not known the private version. She had seen glimpses of this other version at Rosings, but had not realized there was more to that man. Not until seeing him at Pemberley had she understood him.

  She smoothed out his rumpled handkerchief. She had planned to leave it at Pemberley, but found at the last moment she could not part with that final token. She dabbed it at her eye in case anyone was watching, and once again smelled it. Before yesterday she would not have been able to identify the scent as his, but now it was imprinted in her memory.

  Elizabeth had wronged Mr. Darcy greatly.

  She had not known Miss Darcy more than a few minutes before understanding the girl was shy and not comfortable with those she did not know. From that point, she had not taken offense at any of Miss Darcy’s actions but had assumed that when Miss Darcy was more at ease, she would get to know her true self.

  Mr. Darcy had told her he was the same. He had explained he had not the skill to make new acquaintances, but she had assumed a lack of effort on his part and allowed no further concession. She had seen him making more effort than she had ever seen previously on that final night in Kent. Still, she had not allowed that there might be more to him she had yet to see.

  She was torturing herself. He had not offered for her that night, but even if he had she would have been right to refuse him. He may have changed since then, but she could not have accepted him while he still looked so disparagingly upon her family. Elizabeth sighed, again despondent that his low opinions had been proven correct.

  Mr. Darcy had changed, but she would not delude herself that he had changed so much that he would risk his family name, risk his own sister’s reputation, by continuing to associate with her. Had Lydia not run off, she thought they may very well have worked their way to an understanding. Now . . . Now she could hope for nothing.

  He had looked disappointed as he left her, but he had left. He had not returned for any further farewells as she took leave of his home. He was a good man, but she could not expect him to look past the ruination of her family as he might look past an obnoxious relation.

  She had lost him, now when she had finally begun to see his true self. How fitting, after her own rejection of him. He had lost her as well. Elizabeth doubted the changes she had witnessed were easy, yet he had made them. He had changed for her, but Lydia’s actions ensured Elizabeth would never again see him.

  A tear slid down her cheek that she hastily wiped away. Concern for Lydia would be a sufficient explanation to anyone who may have witnessed.

  ~ ~ ~

  The ladies had decided during their journey that they would travel straight to London. Elizabeth and Jane wished to offer what assistance they could and would not stay at Longbourn if there was anything they could do in London. As Mrs. Gardiner agreed with her nieces, Mr. Bingley was outnumbered.

  They arrived at Gracechurch street to find Charlotte in residence. Mr. Bennet and Mr. Gardiner were out searching for Lydia.

  “I should have expected you would insist on coming to London, Lizzy,” Charlotte said as she hugged her friend. “Mrs. Gardiner, please forgive us for having borrowed your home in your absence. I thought it made the most sense to be here whenever you were able to arrive.”

  “You are always welcome. We will make some adjustments, but all of you are welcome to stay here.”

  “Mrs. Gardiner, if I may,” Mr. Bingley interjected. “It would not be proper for Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth to stay with me, given that my sisters have remained at Pemberley, but I would be happy to open my home to any in need of space. If Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are amenable, they may stay with me to ease the strain on your household. Indeed, if Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are staying, then it would not be inappropriate for the ladies to join them. Mrs. Gardiner, you and your husband would be welcome as well if it will help our efforts to have everyone in the same household. I have plenty of space.”

  “You are most generous, Mr. Bingley,” Mrs. Gardiner replied. “I thank you for your generosity, but feel we will be situated here well enough.”

  “Should you change your mind, please contact me. We are soon to be family and you would not cause any imposition. I shall go to my house now and provide you ladies some privacy. Should you need anything or hear from the gentlemen, please send word at once.”

  “Please join us this evening for dinner, Mr. Bingley. I believe Mr. Bennet and Mr. Gardiner will have returned by then.” After assuring that he would do so, Mr. Bingley left them.

  “Please Charlotte,” Elizabeth asked as soon as the ladies were alone, “Tell us whatever you can of the situation that you have not already.”

  The ladies repaired to the drawing room and sat down. Once Charlotte had settled herself, she began.

  “As I said in my letter, we received the express from Captain Higgins and Colonel Forster telling us that Lydia had eloped. When she was not found immediately, Captain Higgins came to us here. He brought us the note she had left.” Charlotte took the well-worn page from her pocket and read it to them.

  “My Dear Kitty,

  “You will laugh when you know where I am gone, and I cannot help laughing myself at your surprise tomorrow morning as soon as I am missed. I am going to Gretna Green, and if you cannot guess with who, I shall think you a simpleton, for there is but one man in the world I love, and he is an angel. I should never be happy without him, so think it no harm to be off. You need not send them word at Longbourn of my going, if you do not like it, for it will make the surprise the greater when I write to them and sign my name Lydia Wickham. What a good joke it will be! I can hardly write for laughing. Give my love to Captain and Mrs. Higgins and Colonel and Mrs. Forster. I hope you will drink to our good journey.

  “Your affectionate sister, Lydia Bennet.”

  Elizabeth stood up and walked across the room, too angry to sit still. “Oh, thoughtless, thoughtless Lydia. What a letter is this, to be written at such a moment.”

  Anger would get her nowhere. They must all be clear-headed if they were to survive this ordeal. Elizabeth calmed herself as best she could before turning back to the others.

  “At least it shows that she was serious in the object of her journey,” Elizabeth said. “Whatever he might have persuaded her to do afterwards, sh
e was not part of that plan.”

  “Captain Higgins immediately reported Wickham’s absence to his superiors and a search was begun.”

  “How did father take it?”

  “He could not speak for a full ten minutes,” Charlotte replied. “Once I read the express I spoke to Mr. Bennet and we sent an express in return instructing Kitty to stay with Mrs. Higgins. Mrs. Higgins will ensure that Kitty receives no visitors and goes nowhere until we send word that she may do so.”

  “Did anyone else at Longbourn know?”

  “Only Hill, but I made certain she understood that if anyone else heard the news from her, she would be seeking new employment.”

  “Hill would not gossip about a matter such as this,” Jane interjected.

  “Mayhap, but I was not about to take such a chance if it could be helped. I did not notify your Aunt and Uncle Phillips of the matter, other than to say we needed to travel to London. I also did not send word to Mary. I have done what I can to keep the story from spreading, but that will do nothing if Lydia is not married. We do not know how this tale will end, but I hoped to salvage Lydia’s reputation if at all possible.”

  “Thank you, Charlotte, for seeing to the practical concerns. Kitty would have shared her story with every officer’s wife she knows in no time at all. While I trust Hill, I would not expect many others at Longbourn would be able to keep such scandalous gossip to themselves.”

  “Did the Higgins have no apprehension of anything before the elopement took place?” Jane asked. “Lydia and Wickham must have been seen together often before running off.”

  “He suspected some partiality on her side, but saw nothing in Wickham’s behavior to cause alarm. He spoke with Kitty after their disappearance and found Kitty had known the two were in love with each other for many weeks.”

  Elizabeth sat, more depressed than angry now. “We should have told Lydia and Kitty what kind of man he was.”

  “And risk their gossip ruining your reputation?” Charlotte asked. “No, they were warned not to associate with him and none of us had any reason to suspect that the girls would encounter Wickham again.”

  “How did he manage another commission?”

  “Some friend or other purchased it for him. Unfortunately, his new regiment was also stationed at Brighton this summer. As we had no reason to expect Mr. Wickham would be in Brighton, I did not warn the Higgins about him specifically.”

  “But Kitty and Lydia both had been warned about him specifically and chose to ignore those warnings. I do not understand how other members of his former regiment did not speak out against him.”

  “As I understand from Captain Higgins, he made them all a very pretty speech in which he assured them that he had been wronged but did not wish to cause a disturbance that could harm anyone else. He had purchased a new commission, so they assumed he again had funds and would make good on his debts among his former regiment.”

  Elizabeth was disgusted the man had found a way to deceive everyone around him once again. The officers of his new regiment would have no idea what kind of man he was, so he would again be free to wreak havoc on others.

  The ladies were exhausted from their travels. Now that the most urgent of their questions had been answered, they retired to change out of their dusty clothes. Mrs. Gardiner then headed to the nursery to check on her children and see how they had fared in her absence.

  Elizabeth kept watch for her father and uncle. As evening fell, she saw her father’s carriage arrive, and hurried downstairs to meet them.

  Her father looked to have aged a decade since she saw him last. Her uncle did not look much better.

  “Have you any news?”

  “Nothing of any use. No one we have spoken to has seen them or heard rumors of them. Wherever they are, they are hidden well.”

  Seeing their exhaustion, Elizabeth did not press further and allowed them both to retire to Mr. Gardiner’s study. She walked to the drawing room, resigned she could do nothing further but continue to worry and wait with the ladies.

  ~ ~ ~

  Darcy detested the stench of this section of London. He knew Wickham’s habits and some of his old haunts. Now that he had learned where Mrs. Younge resided, he hoped she could provide further information.

  Colonel Fitzwilliam had been in London when Darcy arrived and was glad to help in the search for their least favorite bounder. Fitzwilliam was currently checking with his military contacts after informing them Wickham had deserted his second commission in less than a year.

  Darcy knew he should contact the Gardiners, or at least Bingley, and let them know what he was doing, but he was loathe to raise hopes before he found the couple. Until he had useful information, he would keep his presence in London from them.

  He should have hunted Wickham down when he fled from Meryton. Darcy had made some attempts to locate the man, but he should not have given up his efforts. Darcy had no doubt that Wickham had chosen to elope with Lydia as revenge upon Elizabeth as well as himself. The rake had recognized Darcy’s attentions to Elizabeth long before Elizabeth had recognized them herself. Wickham would use anyone he could to inflict harm upon Darcy.

  Darcy had failed to protect Elizabeth once again. Had he taken care of the man when he should have, Lydia would still be safely ensconced at Brighton enjoying her holiday while Darcy enjoyed Elizabeth’s company at Pemberley. Once again, his carelessness had brought disaster down upon himself and everyone around him.

  He would do everything he could to restore Lydia to her family. He could only hope Elizabeth would be able to forgive him the failure that made Lydia’s restoration necessary.

  He looked across the street at the hovel that was Mrs. Younge’s current residence. He doubted the inside was any more appealing than the outside, but made his way over.

  The woman who opened the door looked nothing like the polished lady he had hired to tend to his sister a year ago. She wore a dirty apron and her hair was a tangled mess under her cap. Much as Darcy hated to see anyone reduced to such a state, he hoped in this case her poverty would work to his advantage in selling out her old friend.

  Darcy was pleasantly surprised the cost of information on Wickham was so low. Apparently the man had burned his bridges with all his former friends. While Mrs. Younge did not know exactly where Wickham was at present, she could attest that he had been by three days previous looking for lodgings. She had shut the door in his face, knowing he had no money nor any intent of paying her. She was, however, able to confirm he had a young miss in his company and direct Darcy to the areas she believed Wickham would have tried next.

  Darcy moved on to check Mrs. Younge’s suggestions. He would find Wickham and Lydia. Once he knew their location, he would notify the Gardiners. He only hoped he was not too late.

  CHAPTER 37

  Three days. Elizabeth twisted Mr. Darcy’s handkerchief in her hands. Three days they had been in London and they were no closer to finding Lydia and Wickham than when they first arrived.

  Lydia was lost. Had there been any hope of Lydia and Wickham turning up already married, that hope had long since faded.

  Elizabeth looked out the window of the guest room she shared with Jane as she heard an unfamiliar carriage stop out front.

  Mr. Darcy walked up the steps to the front door.

  Why was he here? He could not possibly wish to associate with her family now that their ruination was almost certain. Had he come to retrieve something they had inadvertently taken? Elizabeth picked up the handkerchief and scolded herself for being so silly.

  He must be here to call upon Mr. Gardiner, but Elizabeth could not imagine why. Should she go downstairs? Much as she wished to see him, she feared such a meeting could only cause pain to them both. After hesitating a moment, she left the room and rushed down the stairs to the drawing room. She saw her aunt speaking to Mr. Darcy and ducked back into the hall.

  “I do not know where they planned to search today, but they must be found immediately. Let me fetch C
har– that is, Mrs. Bennet and see if she knows. Please, make yourself comfortable and I will return shortly.” Mrs. Gardiner then rushed out of the room.

  “Lizzy, where is Charlotte? Mr. Darcy is here and he knows where Lydia and Wickham can be found. We must find your father and uncle as soon as possible.”

  “How is this possible?” Elizabeth asked, before realizing now was not the time for questions. “I believe she planned to spend some time in the back garden. I will go and get her.” Elizabeth turned and ran to the back door.

  “Charlotte, I am glad to find you. Come quickly, you are needed inside. Do you know where Papa and Uncle Gardiner planned to search today?”

  “I do not recall,” Charlotte replied as she stood up, brushing dirt from her gloves and apron back into the flowerbed. “I know that they gave that information to Mrs. Hester in the event they were needed.” Elizabeth returned to the house to discover her aunt already questioning the housekeeper in the hallway.

  “We must find them at once and send word to return home,” Mrs. Gardiner instructed.

  “Why not go to them with the information?” Elizabeth asked. “Surely that would be faster.”

  “Because Wickham is not there now, but will return later.” Elizabeth jumped as Mr. Darcy spoke, not having seen him approach.

  “Let us return to the drawing room and Mr. Darcy can tell us what he knows,” Mrs. Gardiner suggested as Charlotte joined them. “We will have to wait for Mr. Gardiner and Mr. Bennet to return, so there is plenty of time.”

  They settled in the drawing room and Mrs. Gardiner closed the door behind them. Elizabeth forced herself to sit and pretend a calmness she could not feel. Mr. Darcy stayed standing, facing the unused fireplace.

  “You have found them?” Elizabeth asked.

  “I have.” He slowly turned around. “Mrs. Gardiner, perhaps it would be best if Miss Elizabeth is not present for what I have to say.”