“He and Trent would’ve done all they could.”
“I know.” She sighed. “But it’s too soon for Will to accept that. He’s cut to pieces. They were so close.”
“I know, they all were. Trent too. I don’t suppose he’s been here, has he?”
Helen frowned, her eyes clouding with worry. “No. Haven’t you seen him? I thought you two were together now. Will told me last week that you’d finally—”
“We did. We are. I saw him, but he wanted to be alone and I stupidly walked away. I should’ve...” Izzy swallowed. “I really need to find him.”
“And you thought he’d be here?” Helen’s shoulders slumped and she tilted her head in sympathy. “I haven’t seen him, I’m so sorry.”
Izzy glanced over Helen’s shoulder toward the staircase behind her. “Would you mind asking Will if he has any idea where Trent could be? I’ve looked everywhere I can think of. One of the firefighters at the station suggested he might be here, and now that he isn’t and I don’t know where else...” Her voice cracked and Izzy blinked, a tear rolling over her cheek. “I have to find him, Helen.”
“Of course you do. Come in and I’ll go check if Will’s awake, okay?”
“Thank you.”
Izzy stepped into the Kents’ light and airy hallway. The wood paneling and beams along the ceiling beautifully complemented the pale cream walls and landscape paintings. Yet grief and shock cloaked everything in gray. Izzy closed her eyes, praying that Will and Trent would find a way to get over Sam’s death and not let the tragedy change them the way losing Robbie had changed her.
Shutting down and shutting people out didn’t help in the long term. She knew that now. The only way through the pain was to live better and harder. Embrace the love people had to offer, not refuse it.
Helen’s footsteps sounded on the stairs and Izzy looked up, hope speeding her heart. “Was he awake?”
“He was. He thinks the only other place he would go if you can’t find him in town is Kingsley.”
Izzy frowned. “Kingsley? But that’s miles away.”
“It’s where his parents live, where Trent grew up.”
“Of course. How could I have forgotten that? Do you have their address? I’ve met his parents a few times, but I’ve never been to their house.”
“When I asked Will for it, he said to tell you that it’s probably for the best that you wait for Trent to come home rather than follow him to his parents’.”
“Surely Will understands I need to be with Trent at a time like this?”
“I couldn’t agree more, but I still think that maybe you should listen to Will. He knows Trent better than most.”
Izzy stared, sickness rolling through her. How was she supposed not to go to Trent when he would be hurting so badly? She exhaled. “Okay. Thanks, anyway.”
She walked from the house, the gravel crunching beneath her feet as the door closed behind her. Now that she’d made that final leap into an intimate relationship with Trent, her feelings for him grew deeper every day. Her heart was opening in a way she’d kept under lock and key for so very long for fear of feeling any sense of loss ever again.
Yet, with Trent gone and rejecting her support, her old feelings of not being needed clutched deep inside her and it hurt deeply.
Izzy fought her tears as sadness pressed down on her, the all-too-familiar fears of abandonment and rejection rising on a nauseating wave. Her feelings were selfish, but they still hit her heart with hard and painful precision.
Getting into her car, she drove toward Kate’s place in an apartment block not far from Funland, the town’s fairground. She needed to see her friend, needed her advice. Should she go to Trent’s parents’ house or leave him be? She had no idea what result her turning up on their doorstep might bring after his brutal summary of the person she was today.
Pulling into a free parking space in the apartments’ lot, Izzy got out of the car and approached the building. She pressed the buzzer to Kate’s apartment.
“Hello?”
“It’s me.”
“Oh, thank God. I’ve been so worried.”
“Can I come up? I need to talk to you.”
“Of course.”
The buzzer sounded and Izzy pushed open the glass double doors. Indecision and uncertainty had plagued her after Robbie died, but over the last few months they’d lessened to such a degree that she was sure her life was coming to resemble something close to normal.
Now it seemed they would always be there...just beneath the surface and ready to erupt whenever someone walked away from her.
* * *
THE PUB IN KINGSLEY’S town center wasn’t exactly rammed to the rafters with patrons, but to Trent’s current state of mind, it was far too busy and far too noisy. He took a drink of his beer, carefully avoiding his father’s relentless gaze.
“I can sit here for as long as it takes, you know.” His father picked up his glass. “Being out with you is the only time your mother gives me a free pass to spend the evening in the pub.”
Trent placed his pint on the table. “I don’t know what you want me to say. Sam’s dead and I needed to be with you and Mum for a while. I thought you’d be glad.”
“I am, but it’s more than your grief that’s brought you home. I know you better than you think I do.”
Dread twisted a knot in Trent’s stomach. Surely he couldn’t be that transparent? “Sam’s why I’m here, Dad. Nothing else.”
His father lowered his drink next to Trent’s. “It’s more than Sam on your mind, son.”
Trent’s defenses slammed into place. “He died today. Aren’t I entitled not to think about anything else for a few hours other than the fact that I’ve lost one of my closest friends?”
His father’s cheeks mottled with irritation and his dark eyes hardened. “Don’t raise your voice at me. That won’t do either of us any good.”
Trent swiped his hand over his face, further shame adding to the already sky-high pile weighing down his shoulders. “Sorry.”
“Sam’s death is going to be hard on you. I know that. Your mother and I will be here any time you need us. That doesn’t change how well I know you.”
Trent met his father’s gaze. “Meaning?”
“Meaning something in Templeton has spooked you. Most likely what happened with the fire today was the catalyst that set you running in our direction. Not for the comfort we can give you, but as a means of escape. Which makes me think it’s not a something, but a someone, and that someone doesn’t know where we live. Am I getting warm?”
Trent looked to the bar. “You’re wrong.”
“Yeah? Then why can’t you look at me?”
Trent turned as irritation simmered dangerously in the pit of his stomach.
His dad held Trent’s gaze before he slowly smiled, knowledge glinting in his eyes. “What’s her name? And why are you here, instead of with her?”
Trent glared. Was he a frigging plate-glass window? He opened his mouth, closed it...opened it again. “What are you talking about?”
His father leaned back and crossed his arms, his gaze unwavering.
Rare embarrassment brought heat to Trent’s cheeks. He refused to discuss Izzy with his father. Not now. Not when Trent intended to finish things with her before they’d even really started. “You’re wrong. I’m here to get my head straight. To have some time to come to terms with Sam dying.”
His father continued to watch him.
Trent tipped his head back and closed his eyes. How was he supposed to quash his father’s suspicions? He’d never been able to lie to him and he didn’t want to start now. Lowering his chin, he opened his eyes and took a long drink before returning his glass to the table. He looked at his father. “Fine. It’s Izzy Cooper.”
Hi
s father grinned and uncrossed his arms. “I knew it. So, after all this time, you two finally worked things out, huh?” He raised his glass in a toast. “I knew the pair of you would see sense in the end.” He touched his pint to Trent’s, took a drink and put it back on the table. “From the few times we’ve seen her and how Robbie used to talk about her, I’ll hedge a bet she’s a beautiful girl. Inside and out. I’m pleased for you. Your mother will be too.”
“There’s no need to tell mum.” Trent closed his eyes and Izzy’s face swam cruelly behind his closed lids. He slowly opened them. “It’s all off after today.”
His father’s smile vanished and his eyes clouded with annoyance. “What are you talking about? You’ve had a thing for that girl for years.”
Trent fought the pain that twisted and pulled like barbed wire in his chest. “After what happened to Sam...” He shook his head. “I can’t do it to her, Dad.” Trent glared, self-defense burning hot through his blood. “If by some miracle, Izzy comes to love me like I love her, I can’t let her down. I promised I’d always be there for her. So that’s it. It’s over.”
“What on God’s good earth are you talking about?”
“She blames me for Robbie, okay? Even after all this time she can’t accept that a falling beam killed him.” Trent placed his forearms on the table and gripped his glass. He lowered his voice. “Add the fact that every day there’s a chance I could be killed. She doesn’t need that kind of endless worry. Not after Robbie.”
“Does she get a say in that? Have you asked her?”
“I don’t need to ask her. She told me so herself weeks ago, and then being the egotistical bastard I am, I wore her down until I’d convinced her otherwise.”
“You wouldn’t have convinced her if she wasn’t ready to be convinced. Maybe I don’t know Izzy like I knew Robbie, but from what you’ve told me about their background, they’re tough. You come back here, more often than not to make sure your mother’s okay, but what you’ve also got is somewhere safe to come when the world turns bad. Izzy doesn’t have that and if she’s come to see past the job, it’s because she’s ready to, not because of what you might or might not have said to her. If she sees you for who you are, she doesn’t deserve having you bail out on her.”
“And who am I? The guy who didn’t have the guts to face her when the going got tough. She wanted to come with me, be with me after what happened to Sam, and I said no.” Trent put down his glass. “I know what I’m talking about, Dad. Please, just understand what I’m saying.”
“I’m trying, but all I’ve heard so far is white noise.”
Trent fought to keep a rein on his temper. The longer his father looked at him, the more the pressure of indecision, the difference between doing the right thing and the selfish thing, ripped and tore at his conscience. “One day something might happen to me, and Izzy does not need that kind of pain in her life. Not again.”
His father frowned as he slowly roamed his study over Trent’s face as though what he’d said was complete nonsense.
“Don’t you see?” Trent held his father’s bemused gaze. “I can’t, I won’t, hurt her like that. She doesn’t need a man incapable of saving people, incapable of saving her.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “You know who I am. I’m the son who didn’t save your daughter, my sister, for crying out loud. This isn’t some unfathomable mathematical problem. It’s a fact.”
The silence went on for so long Trent forced his eyes open.
His father glared. “Now, you listen to me. You are my son and you’re one of the bravest, strongest men I know and I’m damn proud to call you mine.” His father’s eyes burned with anger. “Don’t dare you sit there and say you’ll hurt that girl. That you didn’t save our Aimee. That fire took her. Do you hear me? That one particular fire saw fit to take my baby away from you, your mother and me. Yet day in, day out, you risk your life to fight other fires to stop other people from being hurt. You’re not God, son, but you are a man. A man who needs to get his ass back to that Cove and look after the woman he loves. Now, drink up before the woman I love comes looking for us.” He drained his glass and slammed it on the table. “And I don’t want to hear you say those things about yourself ever again. Do you understand?”
Trent opened his mouth to respond as barely contained anger and shock at the intensity of his father’s tone burned and scorched inside. Before he could say anything else, his father rose and stalked from the pub.
“Bloody hell.” Trent drained his glass and stood before storming after his father.
His father was waiting for him outside. “Well?”
Trent met his father’s glare. “You can say what you want, but I won’t risk hurting Izzy any more.”
“Do you want to be alone for the rest of your life? Is that it?” His father came closer, his voice a growl. “Do you? Or do you want a wife who loves you? Kiddies who love you? Cherished people who wait at home and when you walk through the front door at the end of a shift, they greet you with their hugs and kisses. Does any of that appeal to you? Yes or no?”
A hard lump lodged in Trent’s throat and his chest hurt, but he defiantly held his father’s glare. “Of course it does. Doesn’t every man want a family?”
“Then you stay with me and your mother for two nights and two nights only. I’d say one night, but I’m not in the habit of hurting the woman I love either. You tell your mum you’ve been called back to Templeton on an emergency. Anything. Use your imagination.”
“I need longer than two days—”
“You need nothing but that girl who’s probably at her wit’s end wondering what she did to make you turn away from her. I bet my ass you’re hurting her now just by being here. Can’t you see that? You’re telling her she isn’t important enough, isn’t the one you need when you’re hurting. What do you think that says to the woman?”
Trent stared as the truth of his father’s wisdom sliced his soul. Izzy came looking for him the moment she found out about Sam. She’d most likely called him over and over since he left the Cove, but he’d turned off his phone.
His father was right. Trent might be miles away, but the words he’d spoken would be hurting her right now. He pushed his hand into his hair and held it there. “I am such an asshole.”
“I wouldn’t go that far, but you’re being pretty damn stubborn, that’s for sure.” His father put his arm around Trent’s shoulders and tugged him forward. “Now, let’s get those fish and chips, and while we’re eating you can think about what you’re going to do to make things right with Izzy. It’s time to face your fears, son. It’s time for you to risk your heart as well as your life. You need to pass it over to someone else to take care of every now and then.” His father stopped and turned Trent by the shoulders to face him. “Because that, my boy, is what love is to everyone. Love is a gift. Don’t you dare turn your back on it.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
IZZY LEANED HER hands on the edge of her workstation and looked at Kate. “I haven’t heard a word from Trent in two days. He hasn’t returned any of my messages. He has to know how worried I am, but he still doesn’t want to speak to me.” She shook her head as hurt squeezed her heart. “I knew this would happen.”
Kate frowned. “You knew what would happen?”
“That us getting involved would end in disaster. Sam’s dead and instead of coming to me, talking to me, Trent has disappeared. Doesn’t that say something to you? Because it certainly does to me.”
“Iz—”
“It says he’ll never be able to lose another life in a fire without looking at me and remembering the way I blamed him for Robbie. I never should’ve done that and now he thinks I’m too weak to deal with any more pain. I couldn’t look at him because of Robbie, and now that I can, he loses Sam and can’t look at me.”
“You’re thinking into this way too much. Two days
is nothing. Trent’s lost one of his best friends. You know men and their need to haul off to their caves whenever there’s a whiff of a crisis they can’t fix. This isn’t Trent rejecting you, Iz. I’m guessing he’s doing all he can right now. Even if that means being alone for a while.”
Izzy pushed away from the workstation and walked behind her desk, entirely aware that she was putting distance between herself and Kate’s logic. If she admitted Trent’s behavior was normal, didn’t that make her cruel for snapping at him and telling him to go? “Rejection or not—”
“Not.” Kate lowered herself into one of the visitors’ chairs.
“Rejection or not, maybe me and Trent taking some time apart is a good idea. One minute I’m fighting him off, the next I can barely keep my hands off him. It’s not exactly a relationship made in heaven. There’s too much...I don’t know...history and heat between us. When he does decide to come back, I could say something he doesn’t want to hear, get needy or make everything worse for him, and that’s the last thing I want to do.”
“Why would you get needy? You’re the least needy person I know.”
“But he’s changing me. He’s making me need him. Making me rely on him like I did Robbie. I can’t let myself be that way again, Kate. I just can’t.”
Kate sighed. “We’re all needy in some shape or form. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s what makes us human. Do you really want to be that alone? That independent? Lord knows I’d like to think I’ll one day meet a man I need and rely on.”
Izzy swiped at a traitorous tear as it rolled onto her cheek. “I’m so scared over how Sam died, that the Cove has lost another good man to a fire and that Trent has gone away. Why did he choose to be alone when I want to be with him so much it hurts?”
“Oh, Iz...he’ll be back soon. You two have something great going and you don’t want to run the risk of spoiling that by not giving him the space he’s asked for. If you don’t, his reaction might convince you that you’re better off apart permanently. What if he sends you away again asking for more time? Your answer will be to do something rash like head off to the city and take Richard Crawley up on his offer of an exhibition. Saying goodbye to Jay Garrett’s offer here.”
Saved by the Firefighter Page 15