Izzy looked down at the papers on her desk.
Kate sighed. “You’ve thought about it already, haven’t you?”
Izzy lifted her head and held her friend’s knowing gaze. It sucked how Kate knew her so well. “Why shouldn’t I? I don’t mean to sound petulant, but I really think getting away from the Cove and concentrating on my career elsewhere could be the right thing to do.”
“For who?”
“For me, of course. I’ve lived in Templeton all my life. This could be the chance to learn the be all and end all doesn’t have to be here. Maybe it’s time I explored what my life could look like without Trent being a part of it.”
Kate stared at her. Her expression dripping with skepticism and doubt.
Izzy glared. “What? Why shouldn’t I try a different avenue? Me and Trent’s lack of communication has achieved little but expose our individual fears about each other.”
“He loves you.”
Izzy huffed a laugh. “And? Who was it who said love don’t last, but cooking do?”
Kate raised her eyebrows. “Um...no one.”
Irritation seeped into Izzy’s blood. “Well, I heard it somewhere. Do you know something? You’re supposed to be my friend, and with you knowing everything I’ve been through, I would’ve thought you’d want me moving toward a different future.”
Kate sighed and slumped her shoulders. “So this is all about business?”
“Yes. No. Maybe.” Frustrated, Izzy slapped her hands on the desk, tears burning her eyes. “I’m hurt by Trent disappearing on me, and that makes me a bad and selfish person when he’s just lost his friend. Because I get that, I think it might be best to leave town for a while. For me.” Izzy pressed her trembling hand to her chest. “He’s made it clear he doesn’t need me and can stand on his own two feet. Shouldn’t I at least see how I feel in the city? A few weeks ago, you were begging me to get out of the Cove and try something new. Now that I’m actually considering it, you want me to stay.”
“If I thought you were doing this for the right reasons, I’d be behind the idea. Because I think you’re doing it for the wrong reason, it’s my job, as your friend, to try to make you see sense. Don’t you want to be here when Trent gets back?”
Izzy held Kate’s concerned stare, before she dropped into her chair behind the desk. “I don’t know. He knows I was scared of losing him if we started anything, and now he’s disappeared. I can’t fall in love with him, Kate. It’s too risky.”
Kate stood and came around the desk. She slid her arm around Izzy’s shoulders and pressed a kiss to her temple. “News flash, sister. No one, including you, allows themselves to fall in love. It just happens. Usually at the most inconvenient moment.”
“Exactly. I’m protecting myself and this is just the way it has to be. I’ve already lost too much. I’ll call Jay and tell him I’ve been offered another proposition and need more time. If he doesn’t like it and retracts his offer, the decision is made for me.”
“That’s a ridiculous way to think, Iz.”
Izzy opened her eyes as a stronger sense of self-worth than she’d felt in months came over her. “That’s where you and I can agree to disagree. I’m thinking straighter than I have for weeks. This has to be about what I want and not about how other people fit into that. I’ve based every decision I’ve ever made on making sure I have a base, somewhere to call home. Maybe that’s because our parents never gave Robbie and me any sense of stability. I don’t know. But I do know it’s time I grew up.” She sighed. “But I won’t sign any dotted lines or commit myself to anything unless it feels one hundred percent right.”
“And being with Trent doesn’t feel a hundred percent right?”
Izzy’s heart kicked painfully. It did. It had. Now he’d gone. Disappeared.
She shrugged. “Maybe it’s just great sex and there’s no substance to us as a couple. If there were, he would’ve needed me when Sam died. I would’ve been the first person he thought of. God forbid anything should ever happen to you, but if it did, who would I run to?”
Kate sighed and slumped. “Trent.”
“Exactly.”
She slipped her hand from around Izzy’s shoulders. “I’m just hurting for you, that’s all. I know what reliability means to you. I know what having someone to trust means to you, but I really believe Trent’s that person and more. Can’t you just wait a few more days to see if he comes back?”
“No, I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to the city.” Izzy stood and walked to the window. She stared toward the sliver of beach at the end of the narrow street. “I’ll see if I can book a meeting with Richard and his gallery partner first thing tomorrow. I need to do this. If I don’t, I’ll never know if there’s more for me outside Templeton.”
“So your mind’s made up?”
Izzy turned and inhaled a long breath. “Yes.”
“Fine.” Kate raised her hands in defeat and walked closer. “Do what you have to do. If Trent comes back to the Cove before you, shall I call you?”
“No. And tell him not to call me either. I need time to think.”
“Okay. Whatever you need.”
Izzy stepped forward and pulled Kate into a hug. “Thank you.”
* * *
TRENT SCANNED THE CROWD of people on Cowden Beach in the hope Izzy might be among them. Over a week had passed since Sam’s death, and in two days’ time, he, Will and the rest of Templeton Cove would bury one of their finest men and firefighters. Trent had to believe in his heart Izzy wouldn’t miss the funeral, even if she had been out of town since he returned. If she did, then he truly didn’t know her at all.
Her absence had left a gaping hole in his heart...right next to the new one Sam’s death had opened.
Trent tipped his beer bottle to his lips. The day he’d returned to the Cove, a futile search for Izzy had left him floundering. Instead, he’d found Kate. His pathetic pleas to speak to Izzy had gotten Kate to confirm that the day he’d come back was the day Izzy had gone to the city to find Crawley.
How could he be angry about that? He had no damn right. He’d seen how Izzy relaxed around Crawley. Had witnessed her smile and occasional laugh throughout the few days they’d shot the calendar. The guy could give her a gallery, a chance at fulfilling the career that fulfilled her.
He took another drink and scanned the crowded beach. But he still needed to talk to her. To find out for sure that it was over between them. People all around him jigged to the music coming from portable speakers farther along the beach, or chatted in groups as they relaxed on blankets or camping chairs. The scene would’ve been a happy one if his mind wasn’t entirely filled with his need to see Izzy among the throng.
Trent kicked at the sand. He shouldn’t have let her walk away. He shook his head. I’m an idiot.
“Hey, man, why so blue?”
Trent turned as Will approached. “Hey.”
“What’s going on? Why are you standing here on your own when—”
“When what?”
Will shrugged. “Just thought you’d be all over her the moment she came home, that’s all.”
Trent stopped, his beer bottle hovering at his lips.
Will smiled and tilted his head to a spot over Trent’s shoulder.
He turned.
Izzy stood alongside Kate, Leah Dixon and Tanya Todd, each of them holding a glass of wine and looking relaxed. A sealed unit of four that didn’t look as though any of them wanted or needed male interruption.
He faced Will and tried his hardest to maintain a cool exterior when inside, his heart danced the fandango. “Did she get back today?”
“According to Kate.”
Trent glanced toward Izzy. “She looks happy. Really happy.”
“Then do yourself a favor and go over there and talk to he
r.”
“What am I supposed to say to her? I refused to take her calls and then she refused to take mine. It’s been days since we’ve spoken to each other and she hardly looks cut up by the situation.”
“I agree, but from the way she’s staring at you right now, she wouldn’t mind if you walked over there and spoke to her.”
Trent turned. His gaze locked with Izzy’s, and the rest of the people on the beach seemed to scatter left and right. Will shoved him forward and as Trent moved, Izzy did too.
When they reached each other, Trent fought the need to reach forward, pull her into his arms and kiss her with everything he had.
Her blue gaze burned into his until her study fell to his mouth. She blinked and looked away toward the ocean. “It feels like forever since I last saw you.” The wind brushed some of her long blond hair across her face and she tucked it behind her ear. “How are you?”
“Better for seeing you.”
She faced him and smiled softly. “Ditto.”
Relief whispered through his chest and Trent relaxed his shoulders. “I shouldn’t have left the way I did. It wasn’t right and I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I kind of disappeared on you too, so we’re even.” She faced the ocean again. “It’s what happens next that’s important.”
He studied her profile, desperate to see her eyes. They usually revealed so much of what was inside her mind. Her voice was wistful, a little dreamy...or maybe she’d been at the beach longer than him and the wine she held wasn’t her first. No, Izzy could hold her wine better than most. Which meant her tone confirmed her sadness.
Touching his finger to her chin, Trent turned her face and looked into her eyes. “What do you want to happen next?” He slipped his hand from her face and tucked it into his jean pocket so he wouldn’t act on the need to pull her into his arms. “How did things go in the city?”
“They didn’t.”
“But Kate said you were looking into an exhibition at Crawley’s place.”
“I considered it, but I knew pretty quickly that the city wasn’t for me. Templeton’s my home. Where I want to be.”
Hope rose and lingered right above his heart. “So you’re going to show your work in Templeton?”
Her eyes lit with something so close to excitement that it took his breath away. She looked so damn beautiful in the fading sun, her eyes sparkling and her smile wide. “Better.”
He smiled. “What could be better than you deciding to stay here?”
“I never mentioned this to you before because I had no idea whether or not I would even do it, but... I’m going to manage the gallery.”
“Manage it? Wow.”
“Jay Garrett was so certain I’m the right person for the job that he was willing to wait for a decision while I was in the city. I didn’t think for one minute a businessman like Jay would do that, but I was wrong and he did. I’ll have the main area to exhibit my own work, but we’ll also support other photographers and artists too. I’m really excited. This could be the professional opportunity I’ve been waiting for.”
“That’s fantastic. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks.”
A heavy silence fell as their gazes locked. Just one step closer and she’d be in his arms, but her need for personal space was clear as she widened the distance between them and wandered a little farther along the beach.
She picked up a pebble and bounced it in her hand as though wanting to have both hands occupied. Wineglass in one, pebble in the other. The message was loud and clear. I don’t want to touch you, so don’t touch me.
Trent walked to her side. “So...”
“So...”
They both spoke at the same time and Trent smiled, praying his stretched nerves didn’t show on his face. “You go.”
“I was just going to say I’m glad you’re back. Were you at your parents’ house?”
“Yes.”
“And did they...” She dropped the pebble and took a sip of her wine. “Did you get whatever it was you needed from them?”
He took a deep breath. “Yes, in more ways than you might think.”
“I see.”
“Do you?”
She sighed and shook her head. “No, not really. It still hurts that I wasn’t the first person you looked for when Sam died.” She raised her free hand to her forehead and briefly closed her eyes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s none of my business what you choose to do.”
“Hey.” He drew her hand from her face, twined his fingers with hers and held tight. “You’ve got every right to say whatever you feel. I was stupid, Iz. I shouldn’t have run from you and I certainly shouldn’t have used words to hurt you when it was really me not knowing what to do with my grief.”
Her eyes were soft with empathy, a line furrowing between her brows. “I understand, but you leaving really hurt. I can’t lie about that.”
“And I wouldn’t want you to. I got scared of letting you down in the future. I thought it was better to let you down now, rather than later.” Guilt slashed through his chest. “The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. I was stupid to think my leaving wouldn’t do that.”
She pulled her hand slowly from his. “I ran too and came to the same conclusion. Albeit in a different way.”
Apprehension knotted his stomach. “What do you mean?”
“We can’t be together. We can be friends, but that’s it.” Her gaze roamed over his face, before she met his eyes. “It will be too painful for both of us. Let’s just keep things how they’ve always been, okay?”
He clenched his jaw. “No, not okay.”
“Trent, please—”
“Life’s too short.” He clasped her hand again, hoping to God she understood him and mentally kicking himself for walking away. “Surely we both learned that lesson after the losses we’ve had? We need to give us a chance.”
He dipped his lips toward hers and she immediately backed away, jerking her hand from his, her eyes shiny with tears. She raised her hand like a shield. “I can’t, okay? I didn’t come over to speak with you for us to try again. I wanted to tell you that Kate has asked if we could go to see Maya Jackson in the hospital on Friday afternoon.”
“What?” His inability to think past anything but Izzy and the fact that he’d thrown his chance to be with her away. “Kate wants us to go to the hospital?”
“Yes.” She lifted her chin, her gaze determined and dry of tears. “She promised Maya she could meet one of the firefighters and me. Kate automatically chose you. Of course.”
“Right. Okay. That’s fine.” He pushed his thumb and forefinger into his forehead, trying to think past this moment to Friday. “I’m pretty sure I’m on the night shift.”
“Okay, good. I’ll see you then.” She took a step away and turned back. “But I’ll see you at Sam’s funeral first.” Her chest rose as she inhaled. “I’ll be there for you at the funeral. I promise.”
She turned and hurried back along the beach toward Kate and their friends. Trent let her go, his heart aching. The resolve in Izzy’s eyes when she’d spoken about the reasons and fears she had about them being together had been mixed with flashes of confusion, yearning and desire.
He hadn’t imagined it.
Whether she knew it or not, whatever was truly in Izzy’s heart was always on full display in her eyes. It was that honesty, that openness, which attracted people to her like bees to honey. It was what made people laugh and smile when she raised her camera. It was how her emotion, good or bad, poured so prevalently into her pictures.
She walked from the beach onto the promenade above before disappearing from his view. Trent drained his beer and stared at the rolling waves of the ocean. Why did everything have to be so damn hard? Was he supposed to give up his career or Izzy?
His only option to choose one or the other? He loved Izzy, but he owed it to Aimee to keep fighting fire. There had to be a way to have both Izzy and his life’s work.
One way or another, he’d figure it out.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
IZZY STOOD ON the stone pathway leading into the crematorium, grateful for Kate’s hand at her elbow. Cars lined the grassy areas surrounding the main building and the covered driveway where the hearse carrying Sam’s coffin was parked. Izzy took a shaky breath as Sam’s closest family and friends got out from the black limousine behind the hearse.
She knew only too well how they would be feeling.
Blinking hard, she cast her gaze toward the white marbled headstone in the distance that marked where Robbie’s ashes were buried. The pink and white carnations she’d laid there moments before lay beside Kate’s single lily. Everyone who knew him still missed him so much. Izzy swallowed the lump that gathered in her throat and turned her focus to Sam’s family.
His parents were followed by Sam’s younger brother and sister, and the whole family quickly embraced, silently watched and supported by others mourners waiting nearby.
Izzy swayed on her feet and breathed deep.
“Are you all right?” Kate whispered beside her, her hand tightening at Izzy’s elbow. “If this is too much—”
“I’m fine.” Izzy closed her eyes, her heart aching for Sam’s family. “It’s just so unfair.”
“I know. Let’s join the queue and follow the family inside. The sooner we get you a seat, the quicker you can sit down. You don’t look well.”
Dipping their heads, Izzy and Kate followed Sam’s coffin inside behind the family. The crematorium wasn’t very big, and as more and more mourners entered, the space quickly filled. She and Kate found a seat and Izzy looked around. Every Cove resident she knew, and a few she didn’t, was there, softly mumbling words of comfort to each other or dabbing their eyes with tissues.
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