Entrapped (Musicians Hope Book 1)

by Claire Ayres

  “Hey,” he says, smiling that cheeky grin again. “I’m Ade.” He leans against the barrier very casually, his gear making him look like a friendly giant.

  “Jess,” she responds. “You were really impressive out there.” He blushes, which she didn’t expect, and smiles.

  “Thanks, Jessica.” She loves the way her name sounds on his lips, she usually hates her full name, from him though, it sounds like an invitation. “I was hoping you might stick around and come grab a drink with me when I’m out of my gear?” He looks at Jess hopefully, the sweat from his hair dripping a droplet running down his face. All she wants to do is reach forward and wipe it away, touch that face.

  Jess takes glances at Katie who nods and grins.

  “Yeah, I’d like that,” she responds to Ade.

  “Great, stay here, I’ll see you in a bit. “He spins around and skates off to join his teammates.

  “I would say adventure complete,” says Katie patting Jess on the back, both girls laugh and take a seat on the bench to wait for Ade.

  Half an hour later a hand gently touches Jess’ arm and she looks up straight into those chestnut eyes which are intensely looking down at her again. He looks quite different back in normal clothes, and Jess is not complaining. He smiles and gestures to her to stand.

  “Are we ready, ladies?” he asks, throwing Jess a cheeky wink.

  “Certainly am,” she says.

  “Oh, this is my friend and teammate Jay. I thought he could come with us if that’s OK?” He looks at Katie as he says this, it’s clear he’s trying to make sure she doesn’t feel at a loose end and Jess is even more enamoured by him as a result. Jess shakes Jay’s hand and she sees Katie’s smile when Jay says something to her about her Star Wars t-shirt - Jess knows she’s going to be OK.

  They leave the ice rink and Ade leads them to a nearby pub where the team are having some drinks. Ade leads Jess to a quieter corner where they take a seat and get talking.

  “I don’t recall seeing you at one of our games before,” he says, and she laughs.

  “Is that your version of do you come here often?”

  He laughs, shaking his head. “No, a genuine question, I’m sure I would have remembered you.”

  “Today was my first time. Katie and I are trying new things, today was ice hockey.” Jess couldn’t help it, she looks him in the eye and smiles. She has never been this bold with a man before, but there’s something about that feeling she gets when she looks in his eyes that’s almost daring her to try.

  “I’m pleased you did, I think I’m going to enjoy getting to know you.” He takes a swig of his cider and looks at her over the rim of his glass and her breath catches in her throat. “You’re beautiful, Jessica.”

  “Oh, wow, thank you.” She looks down at the table and blushes, her hands clutching her drink tightly. His hand snakes across and takes one of her hands luring Jess to raise her eyes to him. When their eyes meet he smiles and Jess has no choice except to smile back at him.

  They sit talking for what feels like days but must have been a few hours. Then Katie catches her eye and taps on her wrist; it’s time to leave.

  “I’m getting the look, I have to go,” Jess says to Ade.

  “Can I get your number? I want to see you again,” he says. Jess nods, giving him her number eagerly.

  They stand from where they have been sitting and he takes Jess’ hands in his, pulling her to him, kissing each of her cheeks then whispering in her ear, “Thank you for finding me, beautiful Jessica.”

  She draws back, a sharp intake of breath, their eyes locked for a few seconds. Those few seconds feel so significant and then he lets her hands go and she walks away to Katie.

  --!--

  “Our history means nothing any more, Ade,” Jess responds to him, and he visibly reels as though he has been slapped in the face. “Now I need you to leave, and never come back. I also quit the job.” Her face is set in a determined line despite the tears.

  “Jess, please…”

  “No, Ade, I’m not asking. I’m telling you to leave. We aren’t friends, we aren’t a couple, we aren’t colleagues. Get out of my home!” She walks to the door and opens it. Ade opens his mouth to say something before walking out the door. As Jess closes it, she pauses. “Don’t ever come back, Ade,” she says, closing the door firmly behind him and locking it, before leaning her back against it, putting her head in her hands and crying her eyes out.

  Jess sits on the couch for a long time, trying to justify what she had done to Luka, and she can’t: there is no justification for what she has done. She has been lying to him about her job, she has purposely not told him about Ade. Even after Katie set her straight and told her what a huge mistake she was making, she didn’t rectify it. Then tonight she let Ade into her home and she let him kiss her.

  Slowly she walks to the bathroom and strips her clothes off, standing in the shower sobbing and trying to exorcise all of her negative emotions. She knows it’s time to be honest with Luka, but she isn’t ready for the consequences of that honesty. Losing Luka after she has fallen for him is almost too much for her to consider.

  Moving into the bedroom and laying on the bed, she takes one last look at Luka’s message.

  Luka: Hi Pinky, in the interval, not the same without you here! I miss you.

  She has no idea how to reply. The guilt she feels, knowing that while he was writing this she was kissing Ade, is tearing her up inside. Even though she’s dealt with Ade, knowing she will probably lose Luka anyway because of what she has done is the worst feeling she has ever known. When her phone starts to ring, she drops it: all of this guilt is ripping through her and she don’t know what to say to him, so she rejects the call.

  She thought her heart ripping open when Ade broke up with her was bad, but this, this is a thousand times worse. She is an awful person who has done a terrible thing and she has no idea how to even begin fixing it.

  Jess sinks into her pillows, silent sobs her only company, knowing that she is going to regret this night for a very long time to come.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Luka

  An annoying piece of music wakes Luka up: his eyes are stuck together, and he is barely able to open them. There is an awful pain piercing through his head which is excruciating, and his body feels like it’s weighed down by the blanket covering him.

  “Turn that fucking noise off, mate,” comes a voice from the other side of the room. Mark? Luka thinks What the fuck is he doing here? Then slowly, the memories trickle back. How he turned up at the bar, how the old friends cleared the air. Mark helped Luka back to his room last night; he must have crashed as well, not unlike old times.

  “Sorry. Aww, man, how much did I drink last night?” Groaning, Luka sits up, turning the alarm off, silencing the music blasting out of his phone.

  “Most of the bar, go back to sleep, mate.” Mark is the definition of grumpy when he’s tired, and Luka has woken him up at the ass crack of dawn.

  “No can do, I have to get back.” Woah, woozy; Luka is overwhelmed by a sick feeling, this is not good.

  “You cannot drive in that state.” Mark is now bolt upright on the sofa, how is he not hungover?

  “I have to. I have to see her.”

  “See who? You’re making no fucking sense.” Mark is suitably irritated and Luka’s lack of explanation for this early wake up is not helping.

  “Jess, I have to see Jess.” Luka puts his head in his hands, a sorry sight, a sorry state.

  “Of course, only you would torture yourself like this over a fucking woman. OK, I didn’t drink anywhere near as much as you. I will drive you.” Mark picks up the hotel phone.

  “What are you doing?” Luka asks still not maintaining upright position very well.

  “Getting some proper coffee, this sachet shit won’t do you any good,” he says throwing do
wn the coffee they provide in the room. “Now, go have a shower, you stink.”

  “Thanks,” Luka groans as he part walks, part crawls to the bathroom, still considering throwing up.

  After showering he returns to the room and there is a pot of coffee waiting. Mark is dressed and sat in the chair, watching him.

  “What?” Luka demands. He doesn’t much like the way Mark is looking at him.

  “Are you planning on telling me who Jess is?”

  “Not really,” Luka shakes his head immediately grimacing from the pain that shoots through him, making him feel painfully sick.

  “OK, still punishing me, I get that,” Mark says. Luka wants to argue, tell him it’s not like that. It kind of is and he knows he should be more thankful, Mark has offered to drive when Luka clearly is in no fit state. He is trying to help and there’s still a nagging doubt about Mark’s loyalty that lingers in the back of Luka’s mind.

  By 6 am the two men are in the car. Luka, his head leaning against the passenger window, is clinging to a bottle of Lucozade. He officially has the hangover from hell and he really needs to get rid of it so that he can speak to Jess and find out what is going on and fix it.

  “So, come on man, why are we driving to Bristol at six in the morning, with a hangover, for a girl?” Mark pushes again. “Quit hiding from me, Luka, we’ve been friends since we were 18. I know you wouldn’t do this for just anyone, this girl is under your skin.” Luka turns and looks at him; he’s watching the road and taking glances in Luka’s direction. The look on his face, the one that screams concern--is this genuine? Luka has reached a point where he is so sick of questioning everything and everybody that he decides to trust that Mark really is back in the fold of their friendship again.

  “I’m in love with her all I want is to be with her, something is going on though. I think she might be having second thoughts,” Luka says with a sigh. There, it’s out.

  “And you think confronting her first thing in the morning is the solution to this problem?” Mark’s condescending tone is not lost on Luka.

  “It’s my solution, this situation is driving me crazy if I’ve lost her I need to know,” he says, simply. “The truth is if I’ve lost her I’m not sure how I will cope with it.”

  “Don’t put your shit from the past on her. There could be a good reason for whatever you think is pulling away. It may have nothing to do with you. Don’t go in assuming the worst. You’re a good person, Luka. Believe in that, believe that you deserve love.” Mark stops talking, and the car goes quiet as Luka digests his words and he stops talking. Sometime later Mark says, “Tell me about her?”

  Luka spends the next half an hour telling Mark all about her, how the two of them met, their dates, how he tried to keep her at arm’s length and still couldn’t help falling for the beautiful girl with pink in her hair and blue eyes.

  --!--

  A Year Ago

  It’s been a hard day: Luka has been running classes for up and coming teenage cellists as part of a youth programme the orchestra has recently begun. There were some really talented young people taking part, which really inspired him, but he was exhausted - not least because Mark had bailed on helping so they had been down an instructor. Luka had vowed to get him back for that: Mark had drunk a lot last night, so he was probably curled up at his place nursing a monster hangover. For now, though, Luka is looking forward to getting home, watching a movie and drinking a large glass of wine.

  On the way home, he stops to pick up take away; he is not in the mood to cook today and hasn’t been able to reach Ellie so it’s doubtful she will be cooking. Ellie and Luka have been together for five years and it crosses his mind, not for the first time, that he needs to seriously consider their relationship. Ellie and Luka argue a lot and haven’t had fun in a while. It crosses his mind again that it may be time to discuss their future or rather their lack of a future. He tells himself, again, that there is no point being together for the sake of it. But, as with every time he thinks of it, he tells himself this is a discussion for another day: today he needs relaxation and rest.

  Luka arrives at his house, opens the front door and everything is quiet. This is odd, Ellie should have been home hours ago. He walks through to the kitchen and puts the take away down on the counter. There is a jacket hung over the chair that’s not his, but it looks familiar. Then he realises it’s Mark’s, of course, he must have left it behind last night.

  Luka considers eating straight away, instead he decides to have a quick shower and get changed into more comfortable clothes. Taking the stairs two at a time, it dawns on him that he can hear noises. No. Voices. Sex voices. He slows his ascent, his skin chilling as he comes to the realisation that he is going to witness something that’s going to really piss him off.

  He gets to the bedroom and he hears the voices more clearly. That fucking bitch! He knew she wasn’t happy with him either, and wait, is that? No! Luka’s heart falls through the floor, and he puts his hand on the handle. Blood rushes to his head, all he now hears is his own pulse. He doesn’t want to do this, he knows though that if he doesn’t see it with his own eyes, to know it’s not his imagination, to know this is real, that his world has gone inside out in the worst possible way, then he will always doubt it.

  He opens the door, and as Mark dives for a sheet, Luka roars “You fucking bastard!”

  Ellie sits smiling, and it is becoming very clear that this was what she hoped for: to not only end their relationship, to destroy his friendship with Mark as well. “You deceitful bitch!”

  Luka turns his back on his old life and walks from the room: he has nothing to say to either of these people who have set out to hurt him.

  “Luka. Mate. Please. Fuck. Stop!” Mark begs, and man, does he beg. He chases after Luka as he descends the stairs, calling for him, begging for his best friend to stop. Grabbing for his arm, which Luka violently pulls away as though he’s full of disease. Mark claws at any hope he has of making Luka listen; he knows Luka is beyond listening though. His blood boiling, pulse still banging in his ears, Luka walks out the front door and he doesn’t look back.

  --!--

  “Well, this place is nice,” Mark says pulling up in Luka’s parking space outside of the building.

  “It’s OK,” Luka says, distracted. “You can come in, get some rest.”

  “Thanks,” Mark smiles, knowing Luka is offering him a huge olive branch.

  The men walk to the elevator; Luka’s hangover is clearing but only seeing Jess is going to make him feel better now. As he exits the elevator and starts walking, Jess’ door opens. Luka’s heart jumps, how did she know he was back? He smiles, thinking it will all be OK now.

  Then he feels it, that sucker punch. The one that tells you everything you hoped and dreamed is over. Jess is a mess in leggings and a jumper, a tearstained face and her hair ruffled.

  “Luka?” Mark tries to get his friend’s attention.

  Luka doesn’t speak, intent on staring at Jess, who is walking towards him.

  “Jess, what’s wrong?” His pounding headache is not helping his concentration.

  “We need to talk,” is all she says before a huge sob wracks her body. Luka knows without a doubt that whatever she has to say is going to be bad. He reaches out his arm wanting to pull her to him and comfort her and she pulls away, taking a step back.

  “Why exactly are we getting up at the ass crack of dawn for this bird?” Mark quips.

  “Shut up, Mark.” Luka responds as he opens his apartment door and the three of them enter. “Food and drink in the kitchen, Mark,” he tells his friend.

  “I’m sorry, Luka,” is all she says and with those words he feels the bottom fall out of his life. He doesn’t need to hear what she has to say, he doesn’t need to hear the sordid details. She’s destroyed what they were building: look at the state of her, the fact she wouldn’t reply last night, and
starting this conversation with a sorry.

  “Leave,” is all he says to her, turning away.

  “Luka, please let me explain first,” she pleads, Luka can’t bear the pain coming his way and shakes his head.

  “I said leave, Jess,” he says again, cold as ice.

  “Damn it, Luka, look at me!” Jess is crying and begging Luka, but he can’t, he can’t possibly look at the girl who has ripped his heart out. It’s not possible.

  “Luka, talk to her, don’t be a fucking tool, mate,” Mark demands, watching their conversation from the kitchen. “You don’t even know what she has to say yet, you’re jumping to conclusions.”

  “I don’t want to hear it,” Luka says. “I can’t hear it, you need to leave.”

  “I’m not leaving Luka, not until you hear me out. You will probably tell me to leave when I finish but you are going to hear what I have to say.” She finishes her sentence,takes a sip of the water Mark brings over to her with shaking hands, and looks right at the back of Luka’s head where his eyes would be if he didn’t have his back to her.

  “OK,” Luka says turning to face her. “What’s so bad, that what we had could be over?”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Jess

  “…And that is what brings me here, I know I should have told you sooner, dealt with this sooner, I was naïve and thought I could handle it without it interfering with us and what we were building. I was wrong, so very wrong,” Jess finishes, tears pouring down her face, having spent the last hour telling Luka everything that has been happening. Mark excused himself and left the apartment before she started, sensing things were going to get serious. Despite not knowing each other, he’d given her a reassuring squeeze of the shoulder as he walked past and told Luka.

  “Remember why we came back here so early, mate. Listen to what she has to say. Listen properly. I’ll see you later.”

  Luka is sat with his head in his hands on the chair Jess normally sits in when he rehearses. His fists are balled and his knuckles white from the tension, and all Jess wants to do is close the space between them and tell him how much she loves him. Instead she stays where she is and lets the silence consume them.