Never Letting Go (Delphian Book 1)

by Christina Channelle

  I was still for a moment, shocked, or rather fascinated, by her sincerity, and then glanced down at our hands locked together. She felt warm and I looked up from our clenched hands to her face. I noticed again how pretty her eyes were, so much like Dante’s. Then I did the only thing I knew how to do. I shook my head.

  No.

  I wouldn’t mind at all.

  •••

  “YOU CAN STAY in the guest room.”

  The room was more like a closet, but it somehow managed to fit a twin size bed and a nightstand with a lamp and clock set on top of it. I slowly walked toward the bed and sat down gently, my body sinking in.

  It was a soft bed.

  The only protest against me staying came again from Briggs. He’d quietly grumbled to himself and then walked away, my assumption would be toward his bedroom. Both Dante and Kaede had seemed okay with the idea, nodding their heads in agreement at Amy’s suggestion.

  For now.

  At present, Amy rushed toward the bed, sitting. Turning her head, she looked questioningly at me.

  “What am I supposed to call you anyway?”

  I sat there looking back at her, remaining silent.

  Amy raised her index finger to her chin, her small face scrunched up, deep in thought. “Hmm, how about Susan?”

  She looked back at me oddly and shook her head in dissatisfaction. “No, you don’t look like a Susan. Terry? Hannah? No.” Amy stopped talking abruptly and heaved a sigh.

  I found this whole interaction quite amusing. I knew at this point I should have been laughing or smiling at the girl sitting beside me, but I just looked at her expectedly. Amy was good at having conversations without any help from me.

  “I know!” Amy snapped her fingers then looked at me excitedly, bouncing up and down on the bed.

  “Mia!”

  I gave the name a thought, letting it slowly sink into my mind. It sounded … nice, almost as if it were really my name, although the probability of that was highly unlikely.

  Mia.

  I liked it.

  I nodded at Amy, who smacked her hands together, practically shouting in joy. I ignored her, reflecting.

  Mia. My name would be Mia. I wondered what my life would be like with a name like Mia, wondered if in fact it was similar to my real name, and why I had instantly taken a liking to it. Frankly, I was indifferent to the whole thing. It was strange thinking of a past I couldn’t remember, nothing surfacing within my mind. Just blank, as if I didn’t even exist.

  You don’t exist.

  I yawned at the thought, which Amy immediately noticed. She gave her signature pout. “You’re tired, Mia. Why don’t you take a nap and then come out for dinner when you’re ready, okay?”

  Amy stood and walked toward the door. She turned back once more before she left, smiling. “I’m sure glad we have another girl. It’ll make things much more exciting.”

  My head rested on the pillow, letting her words process.

  Exciting?

  Whatever did she mean by that? What could possibly be exciting about my appearance within an apartment filled with strangers? I searched my brain but nothing came to mind. More importantly, what did they all mean by this mysterious danger outside?

  Who am I?

  So many questions ran through my mind but my eyes fluttered shut, exhaustion taking over my body. All these questions would be answered in due time.

  The last thing I remembered before drifting off to sleep was an angry face, with eyes, I imagined, that would light up like fire.

  Briggs.

  CHAPTER TWO

  I WOKE UP hours later in the middle of the night to absolute silence. This time I remembered exactly where I was. Slowly getting out of bed, I looked around and turned on the light. The clock on the desk displayed that it was the middle of the night. I had slept through dinner and I guessed the others had decided not to disturb me.

  I wasn’t hungry anyway.

  My head still pounded, but it was now only a dull ache. I touched the back of my head tentatively, feeling the large bump. It was tender.

  I knew at that moment that I should be feeling irritation, at least a slight annoyance at the fact that I couldn’t remember anything, but it was really only a passing thought. The only emotion that I seemed to be readily able to feel was curiosity.

  I felt a pressure deep in my stomach and I squeezed my legs together, puzzled by the sensation. I looked around the tiny room again but couldn’t find anything to help get rid of the strange feeling. I grabbed the doorknob and turned it slowly and I let myself out into the hallway.

  For an apartment, there seemed to be many rooms. Each door looked the same and I didn’t know which one to try first. I looked down at myself as my body began to emit a sense of urgency, but I paused in front of the first door next to mine, not opening it, then chose the door across from me and placed my hand on the knob.

  Inside, I noticed the sleeping figure in the bed, covered only by a light sheet. I flicked on the light to the room, watching him for a moment as he breathed softly in his sleep. Even though it was cool, I saw a sheen of sweat covering his face. I frowned, moved closer, then slowly I touched his shoulder once, then twice.

  He woke up with a start, then squeezed his eyes shut against the light. His bright blue eyes were tired as he looked up at me, giving his dry lips a lick.

  “Are you okay?”

  I stared down at Dante as I continued to squeeze my thighs together. He saw my discomfort and realized what my problem was.

  “You need to go to the bathroom?”

  I thought about it, then quickly nodded.

  “Okay then.” Dante hastily took the sheet away from his body and stepped out of bed. He was barely clothed, wearing only boxers. My eyes immediately went toward his bare chest, and then I quickly glanced away. I knew the female population would find him attractive; it was quite obvious.

  My memory was gone, but I wasn’t blind.

  I trailed behind Dante, out of his room and down the hall, where he opened another door. I looked inside and found exactly what I was looking for. Nodding my head in appreciation, I stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. After I relieved myself, I flushed the toilet then turned on the faucet, running my hands through the water. I knew to perform these actions but I didn’t recall having ever done them before. Looking up into the mirror, I finally caught a glimpse of what I truly looked like.

  My face was pleasant, heart-shaped and surrounded by a mane of dark red hair. Auburn. My eyes were green and almond-shaped, and I realized why Amy referred to me as a kitten.

  I had cat eyes.

  Bringing a hand up, I watched as I stroked my face, marveling at the sensation of skin, at how soft it was, just like when I’d held Amy’s hand earlier. Analyzing my nonexistent expression, the muscles of my face moved into a smile, similar to that of what Amy and Dante had effortlessly displayed earlier. The movement was foreign, almost mechanical.

  This is what I look like.

  I had multiple piercings in my ears and looking closer, I noticed a black mark on my skin underneath the collar of the shirt I wore. Curious, I pulled the shirt off to see a name written on my left shoulder, right below my clavicle in elegant script.

  Ethan.

  I paused, wondering who the name belonged to, and what would possess me to brand my body with someone else’s name. Because right now the name meant nothing to me, and with my lack of memories, I wondered if it ever would.

  My thoughts went back to what had transpired earlier. From my interactions with the others, I knew I was different. I’d realized this instantly when I’d first laid eyes on their faces. They all seemed to emit such emotion, even with the simplest of gestures.

  I was disconnected from emotion to an extent, only able to understand what each emotion meant, as if just reading it from a dictionary, in a way. I had no real opinions … at least from what I gathered. Everything presented to me was exactly as it was and not how I would interpr
et it.

  I wonder why?

  A light knock interrupted my thoughts.

  “Are you okay in there?” I didn’t move a muscle, my wet hands clutching the edge of the counter.

  “Mia?” Dante spoke softly but I instantly heard him.

  That was right—my name was Mia. Realizing the water was still running, I turned off the tap then placed my shirt back over my head. Reaching for the doorknob, I opened it slowly.

  Dante stood there looking down at me inquisitively. “Just wanted to make sure you didn’t drown in there,” he stated lightheartedly.

  I stared blankly back at him.

  “So…” he trailed off, looking uncomfortable by my silence. He scratched the side of his head then raised his brows. “I see you like the name Amy gave you?”

  I saw that he expected a response from me so I nodded, not quite looking him in the eye.

  “Good. I guess that’s what we’ll call you until you remember your real name.” He motioned with the tilt of his head. “Come on. Let’s get back to bed.”

  Dante walked down the hall and I followed suit, my gaze directed on his back. We ended up in front of my bedroom. “Here you go,” he said, stepping aside as he allowed me to enter my room. Then, leaning against the entrance, he looked down.

  His dimple smiled at me.

  “You look very alert, Mia, but here we tend to get at least seven hours of sleep. Especially me.” I saw his eyes zero in somewhere behind me. I followed his gaze to the clock placed on the nightstand and saw that it was five in the morning. He looked back at me and gave a tired smile that ended in a yawn. “So you’ve got at least a few more hours to go.”

  Dante was just about to turn away, then he thought otherwise and glanced back. “And it’s a good thing you picked my room to barge in on, because if it had been Briggs it wouldn’t have ended so well. Alternatives can be Amy, who is right next to me, or Kaede, who’s down the hall.”

  I stared hard up at Dante.

  He noticed the curious look in my eyes. “Why not Briggs?”

  I nodded.

  “He doesn’t like his sleep interrupted. If you think he was unpleasant earlier, wait until you see him with no sleep.” Dante ended by shaking his head and giving a small laugh.

  Then he gestured toward the bed, his voice quieter. “I’ll let you get back to bed.”

  I followed Dante’s cue and moved my lips upward, giving a smile in return like the one I had tried out in the bathroom. The movement still felt strange, sterile, but the pleased look on Dante’s face made me realize that it was the right thing to do.

  “Goodnight, Mia,” Dante said softly. I nodded, then he slowly closed the door. I still felt his presence as he stood on the other side before he quietly walked away, leaving me to myself.

  I realized I had been holding my breath the entire time and let it out slowly as I made my way back toward the bed and lay down on the mattress.

  I wondered what tomorrow would bring with my interactions with these people. I found their dynamics interesting and wondered why one in particular failed to make his presence known to both Dante and I.

  We weren’t the only ones currently awake, and the walls were rather thin in this apartment. That first door I had stood in front of had been Briggs. For some reason I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he had been lying wide awake at the exact same moment, keenly aware of my presence. I also knew that I didn’t dare open the door.

  Something inside of me—innate, instinctive—had prevented me from turning that knob. All my synapses had been firing in my head to run away from that door, one word flashing in my mind.

  Beware.

  As I began to drift off once more, I wondered whether it was safer to be outside with the unknown dangers, or here in this apartment with Briggs.

  I didn’t know how to answer that.

  CHAPTER THREE

  I SAT IN the kitchen the next morning, alone. I glanced toward the clock that hung from the wall, hearing the tick, tick, tick of the second hand. Half past ten: Dante had been incorrect in his timing. No one else was awake as of yet—the entire apartment was quiet.

  My stomach grumbled loudly and I looked down in surprise at the sound. I knew my body hungered for food, but I sat, motionless, the way I had for hours, since I had first awoken.

  I would wait.

  My stomach growled again and I finally heard the sound of a door creak open, then footsteps coming toward me from down the hall. A head peeked around the corner.

  “You’re awake.” Kaede gave a tired smile and waved his hand in hello. The clothes he wore were ruffled and I watched as he took off his glasses and rubbed the lens with the bottom of his t-shirt.

  He shuffled into the kitchen as he adjusted his glasses back onto his face. He’d looked so different without the glasses, his long dark hair hanging loosely around his face.

  As soon as that thought crossed my mind, Kaede took an elastic band he had wrapped around his wrist and hastily tied his hair back, continuing to look at me in interest. His eyes got smaller as he furrowed his brows together.

  Kaede pulled a chair out adjacent to me and sat down. “What are you doing sitting alone in the kitchen?”

  I surprised myself once again, my stomach giving the response, a loud growl.

  “Ahh.” He gave a nod of his head and stood up once more. “You’re just hungry, little one.”

  Kaede walked over toward the refrigerator and stuck his head inside. “What do we have in here?” he mumbled to himself as he rummaged. He then backed away and closed the fridge door with his leg, his hands full. I looked down to see that he had placed a jug of milk as well as a jar of strawberry jam in front of me.

  “Sorry, we don’t really have much else to eat.” I looked up to see Kaede putting two pieces of bread into a toaster, then grabbed an empty glass as he poured the milk and handed it to me. “We’re more of the take-out or delivery kind of people.”

  I didn’t move at first, then slowly raised my hand as I took hold of the glass. Kaede nodded at my action, then picked up an extremely ripe banana from a fruit bowl on the kitchen counter, absentmindedly peeling it and taking a bite. He made a face at the consistency of the fruit but kept eating.

  I sipped the milk slowly, watching Kaede over the rim of my glass. He continued to chew his banana as he returned my gaze, slowly analyzing me.

  “You’re not the bad guy, are you?”

  Still holding the glass with both hands, I took another sip and then set it down on the counter, shaking my head slowly.

  He must have seen something in my eyes because he nodded once. “Good,” Kaede replied, tossing the banana skin in the garbage. “Because I really don’t like bad guys.”

  At the same time, the bread popped out of the toaster and he took both pieces, plopping them on a plate as he presented it to me along with a butter knife. It was as if he’d never asked me such a question.

  I looked at the metal instrument before hesitantly taking a hold of it, then opened the jar of jam, using the knife to slather it on my toast. Although I had no recollection of the taste, its familiarity was instantaneous as I bit down on the toast.

  Strawberries.

  “You guys are eating already?” I looked up mid-chew to see Amy standing at the entrance of the room. Although it was morning, she still wore that black choker around her neck, along with a long flowing nightgown that was almost translucent. She sat down in the exact spot Kaede had been earlier and crossed her arms over her chest. “Why didn’t you wait for me?”

  Kaede scratched the tip of his nose at the sight of Amy in her outfit as he leaned against the fridge. His cheeks reddened slightly. “Amy, darling, why don’t you put on some clothes?”

  Amy slowly looked down at herself, then back at Kaede with a pout on her face. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

  She didn’t wait for Kaede to answer and instead directed her bright blue eyes at me. “Is there anything wrong with what I’m wearing, Mia?” />
  In all actuality, I didn’t know how to answer that question objectively. I looked down at myself to see that I was wearing the same thing as yesterday: a dark blue t-shirt and loose-fitted sweat pants. Although a contrast to what Amy was wearing, both outfits did seem comfortable.

  I had decided that I would agree with Amy, and just as I was about to shake my head that no, nothing was wrong with her attire, I was interrupted by another voice.

  “Don’t answer her. She’s just humoring us all, most of all Kaede.” Briggs propped himself against the wall as he looked in on us. He still wore his sunglasses—Amy had referred to them as shades—perched lightly on the tip of his nose. Light sensitivity, she had offered as explanation. Briggs gave a cruel smile and continued. “Amy here has this huge crush on Kaede and likes to flaunt her body around our living quarters. She’s hoping that eventually Kaede will give in to temptation.”

  “Shut up, Briggs.” Amy huffily walked up to him and punched him on the arm. Briggs didn’t flinch from her assault and instead easily pushed her aside as he came into the kitchen to grab an apple. I saw him quickly glance in my direction as if he wanted to say something again, but then quickly shook the hair out of his face and walked across the living room and toward the stairs. Placing his boots on, he exited the apartment without another word.

  “And as quickly as he appears, he disappears,” remarked Kaede, looking toward the front door.

  “Did Briggs leave again?” Dante gave a huge stretch as he walked in, also heading straight for the fruit bowl, but paused when he saw it was empty. He grimaced and took a granola bar lying on the table, and ripped open the package. Just as Dante was about to take a bite he paused and looked over at Amy, then rubbed his brow in exasperation. “Ah, hell, Amy, go put some clothes on.”

  “You too?” Amy almost looked as if she were ready to cry but didn’t say another word as she sulkily followed Dante’s orders and walked back into her room to look for a change of clothes. A few minutes passed and I wondered why Amy was so quick to abide by Dante’s rule but ignored the comments from Briggs and Kaede.