Something Had to Give

by Trish D.

  It wasn’t long before Eric thought it was a good idea to fix April up with his roommate and friend Daniel. When Eric mentioned the idea to me, I was a little unsure. However, I figured that since he had been around April a few times and had an idea of her personality, that he had someone decent in mind for her. Unfortunately, this was not the case.

  “Absolutely not!”

  April’s initial reaction to the idea should have been my first clue to drop the whole blind date idea, but a part of me felt like I owed her one for fixing me up with Eric.

  “Why not?” I questioned, not exactly expecting to be met with so much opposition to the idea.

  “I never have luck with blind dates. Besides, I’m not a charity case, I can meet someone on my own.”

  “Oh please, no one is considering this charity. It’s just a chance for us all to hang out and have fun. And anyway, I let you fix me up with Eric, so why wouldn’t you trust me to do the same?”

  “Ugh! Now comes the guilt trip. Do you even know this guy? What’s he like?”

  “Well, I haven’t met him, but I’m sure Eric wouldn’t introduce you to someone that we wouldn’t approve of. Even if you don’t like him, just come out for the free dinner. It will be fun.”

  “Fine.” She reluctantly agreed. “But, I’m driving my own car. That way if he’s a bust, I can leave when I want.”

  I thought it was over the top for her to drive separately, but knowing she wasn’t really feeling the date, I didn’t push the issue. On the Friday night that we were to go out with Eric and Daniel, April and I drove over to their suite to meet them. They were both standing outside when we arrived and I was shocked when we got closer to them at how good-looking Daniel was. In fact, I felt bad that I actually felt a bit jealous of April. I could tell that April was also impressed with his looks since she no longer insisted on driving her car and agreed to ride in Daniel’s car with the rest of us.

  Daniel seemed pleasant when he greeted us both and carried on light conversation as we stood outside talking briefly. I did notice that he was carrying a cup with him, but I did not put much thought into it. Once in the car, things got pretty interesting. Before pulling off, Daniel went to the trunk and much to my mortification got back in the car with a bottle to tequila to refill his cup. I was shocked and silently prayed that my eyes were playing tricks on me. Certainly, he was not going to drink while driving and put all of our lives at risk. Unfortunately, that is exactly what he did. He sped all through campus, not bothering to stop at pedestrian crosswalks and missed hitting someone on a bike by mere inches. Once off campus, his driving was even worse. After he ran the third stale red light, I hoped that a police officer would pull him over. It didn’t seem like that was going to happen, so all I could do was close my eyes and grip the inside panel of the door as memories of that frightful night when Jackie died came flooding back.

  When we arrived to the Ale House my head was spinning. I was furious at Eric for one, thinking it was even a remotely good idea to fix April up with a drunk and two for not intervening on Daniel’s drinking while driving. We had to wait for a table and as we sat in the waiting area, I couldn’t even look April in the eye. I felt embarrassed and ashamed that I had talked her into going out with Daniel. He was so concerned about getting drunk that he probably wouldn’t remember her in the morning. I started to question who Eric was. I wondered how much there was that I didn’t know about him. Did he drink like Daniel and did he even drink at all? I had been so wrapped up in the good things that I knew about him that it was quite possible that I may have missed some red flags. Despite his drinking, Daniel seemed to be able to carry a decent conversation with April and to my surprise she seemed to be interested in what he was saying or either she had decided to make the best out of a messed up situation. Seeing them laugh and talk helped me to relax some until we were called for a table.

  The night seemed to be looking up until we got to our table. Our waitress came almost immediately to get our drink orders. While Eric, April, and I ordered fountain drinks, Daniel ordered a margarita. We all looked up from our menus in shock wondering how in the world he was going to get past the age restriction. The waitress did as she should have and asked for his ID. He was able to present one that she found to be acceptable and went to get his drink. I hoped that would be his only one, but nothing had gone the way I had envisioned for the night, so it was not surprising that he ordered three more after chugging the first. With each drink he got more loud and obnoxious. When people from other tables started to turn around and look at us, I had enough and asked for checks. As we were leaving, Daniel stumbled off to the bathroom and it was the first time I was able to address Eric.

  “OK! This is not the place, but I cannot believe you brought us out with a drunk. What were you thinking?”

  Eric looked a mix between stunned and embarrassed. “I-I had no idea he was going to be drinking like this. He said he was only going to have one to take the edge off.”

  I knew it technically was not his fault, but I was so mad I could not calm down. “There is no way we are getting back in the car with him driving. So either you tell him that you’re driving us back to campus or we will call a cab.”

  “OK, OK! Calm down. I’ll talk to him.”

  The ride back to campus was a lot of much needed silence. I rode up front with Eric while Daniel rode with his eyes closed in the back next to April. She remained in good spirits and sang along with songs that came on the radio. Even though Eric was driving us home at a normal pace, I still felt on edge and it wasn’t until we were back at their suite and parked that I felt like I could breathe a sigh of relief. It took a few firm shakes from Eric to wake Derrick up, but once he was up and out of the car, it was like he had never been drinking. “Wow” was all I could say. I had never seen anyone who was able to sober up that quickly. I was ready to make a beeline for the car when I heard Daniel invite April up to the suite.

  “So, the night is still young, maybe we can hang out up in the suite for a while.”

  What was even more surprising was that April agreed. “Sure, I can stay and hang out for a little while.”

  What in the world was she thinking? I wanted to pull her aside and smack some sense into her, but instead I kept my cool. I was prepared to either walk back to my dorm or have Eric drive me home.

  “Why don’t you stay too?” Eric suggested.

  I was beyond irritated. I didn’t want to stay. I didn’t feel like being social and I couldn’t bring myself to pretend like I wanted to be around Eric at the moment. I had to suck it up though. I had gotten April into this mess and I didn’t feel like it was right to leave her there alone.

  “Yeah, I’ll come up…just for a little while, right April?” I looked right at her as I said this hoping she would read the expression on my face and see that I didn’t want to be there for long.

  “Yeah, like I said just for a little while.” April gave me a slight nod letting me know that we were on the same page.

  I had been to the suite a few times previously but always during the week when everyone had classes and it was quiet. That night, it was a completely different story. It seemed as though all eight roommates were there and they had each invited other people over. There was absolutely nowhere for the four of us to sit. Even if we would have been able to squeeze in to a corner together, we wouldn’t have been able to hear each other talk over all the other noise. I felt like it was our cue to call it a night, but Daniel had the bright idea for the four of us to go to his room. I knew that wouldn’t work either since the rooms were pretty small, but again April agreed. Once again, I felt obligated to go along with the plan. His room was just as I expected: junky, smelly, and cluttered. As I stood there I looked around in amazement that someone actually lived there and thought it was ok to invite people in.

  Eric tapping me broke my thoughts. “Whoa, deep in thought there huh?”

  “Just a little.” I responded forcing half a smile.

  “Let
’s give them some privacy. We can go to my room where we can actually sit down.”

  It was the most practical thing to do next to leaving and going home so I agreed. In the back of my mind, I had an uneasy feeling about leaving April alone with Daniel. He seemed too unpredictable and for some reason she seemed completely oblivious.

  Catching on to my hesitation, April assured me that she was fine and that she would knock on Eric’s door shortly when she was ready to leave. I hoped that meant no more than 30 minutes. I was tired and still pretty pissed that Eric chose to set April up with a drunk. In an effort to not make the night even worse I tried to suck it up once in Eric’s room. I knew I had to calm down before further addressing the situation with him. Thirty minutes turned into forty-five minutes and before I knew it, an hour had gone by and still nothing from April. I was getting more impatient and before I knew it I just could not keep my eyes open. I was awakened out of a deep sleep by heavy knocks to the door that caused me to jump up. It took me a minute to figure out where I was. I almost jumped out of the bed when I saw Eric beside me and it hit me that I was still at his suite. When I looked at the clock I realized that I had been asleep over an hour. Another heavy knock brought me to my feet and though I was half asleep opening the door, the sight on the other side woke me up. April was slumped against the wall with a red puffy face and it was obvious she had been crying. Her clothes were wrinkled and hair a complete mess. There were so many things that I wanted to say but I was so shocked, that I could not form any words.

  “I’m ready to go…now!” Her voice was both shaky and angry.

  “April, what happened to you?”

  “Nothing, I’m fine! Let’s just go.” With that she turned and made her way to the door.

  By this time Eric was up looking just as confused as I was. We both followed April out into the common area where there were still a good amount of people, however, Daniel was nowhere to be found. Eric and I both tried to get April to stop or at least slow down and tell us what was going on, but she would hear nothing of it.

  “I SAID I WAS FINE! STOP ASKING ME! CHERYL GET IN THE DAMN CAR OR WALK.”

  She was screaming so loudly that when she stopped, my ears kept ringing. I did as I was told, leaving Eric standing there looking dumbfounded and shocked. April sped so fast out of the parking lot that the tires on her car screeched. It was only as we approached a stop sign that she slowed down. She let out the most gut-wrenching scream I had ever heard and burst out into tears. The sound was so horrific that I had chills. I begged her repeatedly to first stop the car and to tell me what was going on. I wanted to call the police, hug her, and put a bullet in Daniel’s head all at the same time. April flat out refused to tell me what happened and when we got to my dorm I was truly afraid to leave her. I insisted she come in or I go to her room when she started to scream at me once again to get out and leave her alone. Against my better judgment, I did as she requested and stood and watched as she sped off to her dorm.

  The phone was ringing as soon as I got into my room. As usual Amanda had gone home for the weekend and I just let the phone ring knowing that it was Eric that was calling. There was no way I could talk to him. He had questions, which were the same questions I had, and I didn’t have the answers. I didn’t even bother to climb up to my bed. I sat on the floor in the dark with my heart pounding trying to put the pieces together. I was so upset with myself. I wished that I hadn’t left her in the room with Daniel. I knew better. Better yet, I should not have talked her into coming out with us. I had failed yet another friend. I felt horrible that I let something happen to April, something that I knew I could never fix. I don’t know how long I sat there on the floor, but as I finally got up to change clothes and brush my teeth the phone kept ringing non-stop. It got to the point that I had to turn the ringer off before laying down. I just wanted to sleep and wake up to it all being a bad dream.

  I tried for three weeks to get into contact with April to no avail. When she would not answer any of my calls or emails, I resorted to other measures. I waited at her dorm, in the dining hall and even outside of her classes. I decided that either she had dropped out of school or had become a master at avoiding me. During those three weeks, I also didn’t talk to Eric. I stopped answering the room phone, which of course raised suspicion from my family and Amanda was thoroughly confused each time I asked her to tell him I was not home when she answered. I didn’t tell either of them what was going on. For one, I did not know the details and two, I felt so ashamed that I played a role in letting whatever happened happen that I could not bring myself to talk about it. I kept a low profile by hardly leaving my room and avoiding common areas where I could possible run into Eric. It was the loneliest and stressful three weeks ever.

  I managed to keep a low profile until it was time to leave for Thanksgiving break. I was relieved to be going home. Even though I knew I would have to pretend that everything was OK, a break from the drama was much needed. I hoped that I would get the chance to talk to Shanna about the situation, but with her bringing Craig home, I knew there was a good chance that she would not leave his side. I made another effort to see April before leaving campus. There was not answer to her room door and after driving around the parking lot looking for her car twice, I felt like a stalker and left. I couldn’t imagine where she could be that I hadn’t looked. I didn’t know what else to do to get a hold of her and it bothered me to no end.

  ∞∞∞

  The ride home was long and quiet. Along with many other students, I had waited until the day before Thanksgiving to hit the road and traffic was terrible. It gave me a lot of time to think though, which was a good and bad thing. I didn’t even bother to turn the radio on and in many ways the silence was refreshing to me. On the other hand, I came up with dozens of scenarios of what could have happened in that room between Daniel and April. I didn’t understand how we didn’t hear anything when Daniel and Eric’s rooms were right behind each other. If she screamed or if there was a struggle, we should have heard it even if I was asleep. The thought of her calling out for me to help her and not hearing her made me feel even worse. There were just so many possibilities and I just couldn’t process the thought that there was a chance that I would never know what happened.

  It took six hours to get home instead of the usual four. I wasn’t bothered though since it gave me time to prepare for the happy front I was going to have to put on for my family. Shanna’s car was already in the driveway, with Craig’s truck beside it. “Great” I mumbled to myself. I was hoping for at least one night of not having to see them hang all over each other and make little mushy comments every five minutes. The lights on in the living room also meant that everyone was probably there being social. That was the other thing I did not want to do. I was instantly irritated and maybe slightly jealous that I was showing up alone without anyone to even call. Once inside, I was slightly overwhelmed by the greetings and hugs. They were all so happy that I found it hard to be in a bad mood. Mommy was finishing up dinner and everyone else was in the living room like I expected. The mood and conversation was light and random and best of all, no one pressured me to talk about school. Shanna and Craig weren’t as mushy as usual and it was nice to finally be around people and still feel relaxed. It was the first time in weeks I didn’t feel lonely. As we sat down for dinner, I felt bad that I had come home with such negative feelings toward the visit. Mommy had made what she considered a light dinner since she had a lot of cooking to do for Thanksgiving. When I saw it was shrimp Alfredo, I instantly thought of Eric who was a seafood fanatic. I remember teasing him on our first date when he ordered shrimp Alfredo and cleaned his plate. It seemed like it had been months, not weeks, since I talked to him and I couldn’t deny that I missed him.

  Everyone got up early for Thanksgiving breakfast. By the time I got downstairs Aunt Michelle was already over with Sanaa and Samantha. I was amazed at how much they had grown since I last saw them. They were so different from the little kids that I
was once able to entertain with my pretend school. I was able to chat with them briefly before Shanna made her way down with Craig dragging behind her like he wasn’t ready to get up just yet.

  “How about we give Mommy and Aunt Michelle a break from the kitchen and fix breakfast.” This was Shanna’s suggestion and while I really didn’t want to, I knew that they did deserve a break from cooking.

  “Sure.” I responded trying to sound like I also thought it was a good idea. The smirk she gave me showed that she knew me all too well to fall for my act.

  We kept it simple and quick with breakfast. I scrambled eggs and cooked the turkey bacon, while Shanna made pancakes and toast. It turned out to be a fun time cooking with Shanna. I felt bad that I dreaded it at first. We laughed and joked about any random topic that came up and best of all Mommy and Aunt Michelle seemed so grateful for the break from the kitchen. It wasn’t long before our laughter brought Sanaa and Samantha into the kitchen to join us. It felt strange that they were old enough to join in our conversations and actually knew what we were talking about. It was also obvious they paid a lot of attention to everything we said. They actually looked up to Shanna and me. It was flattering I guess, but also scary. I felt like I made so many mistakes recently that I didn’t need to be anyone’s role model.