Progress of Stories

by Laura (Riding) Jackson

  And here the story breaks off, for things were never the same again. In place of the Story-pig and the picture there now stood only a vase of fresh roses—always fresh, but always fading. And people behaved as nicely as ever; but it was not the same. They told no more stories to one another, but sat talking of points of view and books and wars in far countries. Now and then they might tell a joke, but this was only to keep themselves from tangled bed-time musings—to remind themselves that sooner or later they must return to their ordinary lives and a rigid economy of heart and purse. And Rose was not the same, as if the pretty lady in going had left her, besides her pretty red slippers, a flirting expression that there was no flirting back to, at least not by Hans. Perhaps Rose would marry the chef, after all. And as for Hans—was this Hans any more? so impolite and free with the guests, especially the lady-guests, that the management was seriously considering whether it must not dismiss him? And as for the Queen, and the king who walked beside her, and what the Queen's shawl said to the sewing-case after the next walk in the moonlight—do you not see, my dears, that the scene has shifted?

  THE PLAYGROUND

  TOMMY and Johnny were two very good little boys. Their way of being good was to play all day long as if playing were the most serious thing in the world. They learned this from their mother, who always said to them, "Good children are busy children." Their mother's name was Julia, but they called her 'Miss Advice' because she was always giving them advice and because she always called them Mr. this or Mr. that, such as 'Mr. Making-a-noise', or 'Mr. Tearing-your socks', according to what they were doing. She was always giving advice, and very good advice it was. So they called her 'Miss Advice'.

  Julia did not believe that children should have many toys. "It makes playing come too easy," she would say. "Children ought to work hard to amuse themselves." Another idea of hers was that by playing children gave pleasure to someone that she called 'Unhappy Lady Thinking-hard'. Lady Thinking-hard sat somewhere and thought very hard about everything that happened. But if children were good and played without giving trouble, this made less work for her to think about. She did not have to think about what was only play if it did not make things happen, such as quarrels or things getting broken or clothes getting torn.

  Tommy complained to Julia one day that it was very difficult to play near the house or anywhere where people might overlook. With other people about things were bound to happen, he said. But as he and Johnny were only little boys, they couldn't be allowed to go very far away from other people by themselves. "If only we could have a playground at the other end of the world," he said. Julia, their mother, said, "Well, I'll give you a piece of advice: the next time I send you and Johnny out for a walk and tell you not to go very far, not beyond the umbrella pine, suppose you disobey me and go just a little beyond the umbrella pine, about twenty-four steps, and then turn to the right, and then to the left again. And perhaps you'll find the very playground you want." "Well, thank you, Miss Advice," said Tommy, "I think I'll do as you say."

  Now, it occurred to Julia, when Tommy made his complaint, that there was a sort of playground just beyond the umbrella pine, to the right, and then to the left again, and that it might be wise to break the rule like this about not going beyond the umbrella pine, instead of having the children break it themselves one day and get into real trouble. So off they went the next morning to break the rule without being naughty. And Julia felt that she was a very wise mother, and they felt that they were very wise children.

  Julia knew exactly where the playground was, but she did not know exactly what they found there, and they did not tell her. This was their secret. It was not breaking any rule not to tell her. In the playground they found a rock as big as an animal somewhat larger than a horse—lying down with its head on its legs, as if thinking. They got on its back and pretended to ride away. Johnny said, "Wouldn't it be fun if it really did get up and go?" Of course it didn't get up and go, and they both knew that this was out of the question. But something better happened—because they were working so hard to amuse themselves. They had no sooner got off the animal's back than a voice near by began speaking to them; they couldn't tell for a moment or so whether it was the animal's voice or not.

  "I am not what I seem to be," it said sadly. "My name is Lady Thinking-hard. And as you are such hard-playing children, I thought you might like to be friends. This is the other end of the world, and the animal you have been riding is my imagination. I call it 'Sir Never-gets-lost' because it runs about everywhere but always comes back, and whenever I call it, and no matter how far away it may be." Tommy and Johnny now saw that they were not listening to an animal somewhat larger than a horse, but to an unhappy-looking though beautiful lady dressed in a silvery dress out of which silvery pieces of money fell every time she moved. She sat in the curve of a twisted tree—instead of walking about, as many people do when they are thinking hard. But she crossed and uncrossed her knees, and shook her head a good deal, and clasped and unclasped her hands. And at every movement she made, some money fell out of her dress to the ground. Tommy and Johnny picked it all up, without meaning to be rude.

  "That's right," she said, trying to smile, "you can buy yourselves very nice dreams with it. My friend Mr. Sleep is in that business. He is too lazy to think and sells all his ideas as dreams. So I have to do all the thinking alone. And as it's too much work for one person, some of my thoughts are always falling out of me." Tommy and Johnny looked around and saw Mr. Sleep lying on the ground behind Lady Thinking- hard's tree, in a cosy little hollow well-protected from the sun and the wind. He was covered with a faded green silk eiderdown that looked so like grass that Tommy and Johnny would never have noticed him if he hadn't been specially pointed out to them. Tommy said to Johnny, "Go over and wake him up." Tommy was a little afraid to do this, but it was a rule of Julia's that Johnny must always obey Tommy, and Tommy be responsible for what Johnny did. So Johnny went over to Mr. Sleep and tugged at his eiderdown, thinking, "Well, Tommy will get the blame for this."

  But Mr. Sleep would not wake up. "He never wakes up," said Lady Thinking-hard. "He's always asleep and I'm always awake. It's very unfair. But if you want to buy dreams from him, I'll tell you how to do it. You may as well get something out of him. You're both good, serious, hard-playing children, and it's little enough pleasure he gives anyone. What you must do is to pinch him sharply on the ear. But be sure it's the right ear, or you'll only get bad dreams. You pinch him on the ear and he groans and opens his mouth, and then you put the money in his mouth, and he eats it up as if it were chocolates. For he's always very hungry, as he never wakes up to eat." Unhappy Lady Thinking-hard was not a great eater herself, but the tree in which she sat was full of small, transparent berries, and from time to time she reached for one of these absent-mindedly and put it into her mouth. "They have no taste at all," she said, "but they are quite satisfying if you have no appetite." Tommy tasted one, but it made him feel queer. "If I ate many of these," he said to himself, "I'd soon lose all interest in food. And that would not be good for my health." Indeed, Lady Thinking-hard said to him, "Don't eat too many of them—they are rather mental." Julia called things 'mental' when they were bad for the health.

  Johnny was pleased at the idea of pinching Mr. Sleep's ear, because Tommy frequently pinched him when he refused to obey him, and he was not allowed to pinch back, but only to complain to Julia. And Julia would never give Johnny satisfaction against Tommy if Tommy pinched Johnny for not doing something that Tommy was right in telling Johnny to do. Johnny pinched Mr. Sleep's right ear very hard—for fortunately Mr. Sleep was lying on his left side, so that his right ear was free for pinching. Then Mr. Sleep groaned, opening his mouth, and Tommy, who had taken charge of the money he and Johnny had picked up, carefully stuffed it all into Mr. Sleep's mouth. Mr. Sleep chewed it and swallowed it with great relish, but without waking up. "And where are the dreams?" asked Tommy, waiting hopefully at Mr. Sleep's side. "Oh," said Lady Thinking-hard, "you don't g
et those now. You have to wait until late to-night when you're asleep. Or perhaps you won't even get them to-night. But you'll get them some time. He's lazy, but honest." This disappointed Tommy and Johnny, but they hid their disappointment because they did not want Unhappy Lady Thinking-hard to think that they were more interested in getting dreams than in talking to her. But of course she knew what they were thinking; she knew everything. "Ah," she sighed, "you are worrying about your dreams. People always prefer the things that come easiest." This was very true, and Julia said the same thing. Dreams certainly came easy. But after playing hard all day, weren't they entitled to dreams as a reward? "Yes," answered Lady Thinking-hard, following Tommy's thoughts, "you are entitled to a reward, and that is why I have given you a reward. But you must not forget that I sit here for ever and for ever thinking, and I never get a reward. I don't even get sympathy." "Poor Lady Thinking-hard," said Tommy in his kindest voice. "But why do you do it?" He had no sooner said this than he realized that this was a most unkind thing to say. He knew that someone had to do the thinking, just as someone had to do the washing—and there was always someone to do the washing, because it had to be done. He might just as well have said to her, "Why don't you stop living?" And indeed it was just as if he had said it, for at that moment she disappeared. And there was the animal somewhat larger than a horse, which they had not noticed while they were talking to her, as if it had been out in the world all that time. And there they were riding it again, and its name was Sir Never-gets-lost—and really it was time they were going home, Tommy decided.

  "Why, you've been gone hours," said Julia to them when they reached home. "I was beginning to think that you had got lost. You remember what I told you about getting lost, Tommy? You sit down and try to pretend that nothing unusual has happened, instead of thinking how strange everything is around you, which only leads to crying. If you do what I say, you gradually find yourself remembering the way home perfectly." "You know very well, Miss Advice," Tommy answered haughtily, "that I never get lost." "Dear me, Sir Never-gets-lost," said Julia, mocking him, "come and eat your supper." Johnny began to say, "Why, that's the name …" when Tommy pinched him as a hint that he mustn't tell. "If you tell her about it," Tommy whispered to Johnny while they were eating, "she'll want to come along next time, and she and Lady Thinking-hard will get to talking and agreeing about things, and we'll be just children."

  When they were in bed and Julia had kissed them goodnight and gone out, saying, "Mother advises you to go straight to sleep," which always put them half to sleep, their father came in to tell them a story as usual, which always finished the job. "Now put them to sleep, Tom, don't wake them up," their mother said to their father as they crossed at the door, as she always said. But there was no danger of this, as Tom's stories were mostly about people who did foolish things and then were sorry; and their being sorry afterwards made the foolish things they did seem sad rather than exciting. Julia knew that all Tom's stories were like this. It was only a piece of advice.

  But to-night they would have preferred telling Tom their story to hearing his. Tommy had pinched Johnny to prevent his telling Julia anything, but Father was different. Father would never go and talk to Lady Thinking-hard himself—he was too shy. So little by little, Tommy beginning, they told him about what had happened, making him promise not to tell Mother. He sat on Johnny's bed thinking hard after he had heard it all, and Tommy, imitating Julia's way of talking, called him 'Mr. Thinking-hard'.

  That very night Tommy and Johnny, much to their surprise, got the dreams that they had bought in the afternoon from Mr. Sleep. They knew that they were those particular dreams because everything in them happened in the new playground —their secret playground, not the one Julia had told them about. In their dreams it was even more different from Julia's playground than it had been that afternoon. Johnny found a shop inside a rock where real people were sold for bits of string by a fat old woman very like Annie, the madwoman, who hated people, especially if they were nice-looking. Johnny had several bits of string in his pocket with which he bought six people, two for one long pretty green and white string that had come off the box with Julia's new brown coat in it. All the people he bought were nice-looking and said how pleased they were to get out of the shop, which was crowded. He bought a General in a bright blue suit who carried him on his shoulder and said "Bang, bang!" every few steps. He bought a little girl and her grandmother, and the grandmother seemed very young and playful, and the little girl seemed very grownup and solemn. But they were a good pair, each taking care of the other in a comradely way, as if they were soldiers. And as they were both on good terms with the General, they made a happy party together, like a party somewhere near a battlefield. There was nothing of special interest about the other three people, except that they were nice-looking. They came along with the others willingly and made the party a success by being three more.

  The General set Johnny down on a table and said, "Now we must play Wounded Soldier." One of the three extra people was the wounded soldier, and another the doctor, and the third the enemy. The little girl and her grandmother were supposed to cry, and Johnny and the General had to laugh, while the doctor and the enemy fought over the wounded soldier, each trying to catch him. If the enemy caught him he would get killed, and if the doctor caught him he would get his leg cut off. And the little girl and her grandmother really did cry, because the wounded soldier looked really miserable as he ran between one and the other. And Johnny and the General really did laugh, because they knew that it was only a game and because the wounded soldier really did look funny. While they were laughing, up came the fat old woman who had sold Johnny the people. She had got herself all tangled up in her string, and Johnny left off laughing at the wounded soldier to laugh at her. But there was Julia standing over him laughing at him, saying, "Wake up, Mr. Tangle-string, you're all tied up in a thousand knots." Johnny was almost annoyed with Julia because she almost always got things almost exactly right, as right as one person could guess what was going on in another person's head.

  Tommy's dream was about Lady Thinking-hard. She didn't seem half so unhappy as she had that afternoon. Indeed, she seemed extraordinarily happy. It was very long ago. There was no world then, and so nothing to think about but herself. There was only the playground, and she played about in it with her horse, which in those days was a white pony, a real one. She was much younger, too, a girl rather than a lady— not that she had seemed old that afternoon, but oh, so tired. In the dream she couldn't find enough to do, she was so lively and full of spirits. She kept riding round and round on her pony, which was called Sir Never-goes-very-far—for there was nowhere to go beyond the playground. She wore a pale blue dress with coloured figures on it, each one a flower, very small. When she got off her pony to talk to Tommy flowers fell out of her dress. They were real flowers, and Tommy made a bouquet of them, thinking, "Mother likes anemones."

  "Come and take a ride with me on my pony," said Lady Thinking-hard to Tommy. And without waiting for an answer she whisked him up behind her, and away they rode, Tommy being careful not to lose his bouquet. They rode round and round, till Tommy could nearly see the wind, so fast did they ride. Just when Tommy felt that he was going to fall off, from dizziness, Whoa! they stopped. "This is Heaven," she said, as if it were a great joke to be in Heaven. "Come and look at all the pictures." Tommy saw that they were still in the playground, but that the playground had walls, and a roof, and a floor, and that the walls were covered with pictures, and the roof, and the floor as well. The pictures showed all the pleasant things that were going to happen in the world. They were only pictures because there wasn't yet a world for them to happen in. "And how is the world to be made?" Tommy asked. "Sometimes I get into bad moods," she answered, "thinking of the horrid things that would happen if there were a world for them to happen in. And one day, in one of my bad moods, a world will begin to put itself together out of the horrid things that I am thinking of. But the pleasant things will ha
ppen too, so it won't be so bad. And in the end they will get the better of the horrid things. But that will mean a long wait."

  The idea of this long wait made her feel unhappy, so up she whisked Tommy on to the pony again, so that he dropped his bouquet and had no time to pick it up. Round and round again they went, till the playground was the playground again. "And what is this?" Tommy asked when they had both got off the pony. "This is only very early in the morning," she answered with a teasing laugh. And as Tommy opened his eyes her pale blue dress faded into the pale blue light coming from the window. There was Julia standing over Johnny's bed. What a pity he had lost the bouquet! "No trying to remember dreams now," Julia said. "Have you forgotten that we are going out to pick amenomes?" "Now isn't that just like Mother!" Tommy said to himself. "It's anemones, not amenomes," he said to her aloud. "Never correct other people when you're not behaving perfectly yourself," she answered. "All right," he cried, jumping out of bed quickly, "now say it properly." So she had to say it properly.