Going to the Chapel

by Morgan, Mary Jane

  He rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands between his legs. “I’ve missed you, Claire. Missed our friendship.”

  And friendship was all it had been and ever could be, she thought. “It’s a little late for damage control, Chris. Besides, you did me a favor.”

  He scowled and rubbed his hands over his face. “I want you back. Please give me another chance.”

  “I can’t do that. You were right to break things off. You could have been kinder with the way you handled it, but you were right.” And she was grateful he hadn’t tried to get back with her early on. She might have caved, a thought that sent chills over her arms.

  He shook his head. “I wasn’t right. I realize that now. Your friendship means everything to me. Please, give me another chance, Claire.”

  “I can’t.” Her sudden tears caught her by surprise. “We were best friends,” she said softly, “but that’s not enough.”

  “I promise I’ll make things better this time. You won’t regret it,” he added hopefully.

  She took his hand, felt his familiar touch and wondered if there was any chance it could possibly work with this man. It had been so comfortable to hang out with him. Plus she could never be hurt by Chris as deeply as she could with Sam, but when she looked into his eyes she realized the fallacy of her thinking. She could never find the joy and passion with Chris she’d had with Sam, either, even if only for a little while.

  “It won’t work, Chris. Being friends might be nice at some point, but not now.” Now she had no desire to spend time with Chris, not even as a friend. Her heart ached too much for Sam.

  Chris pulled his hand away. “You won’t even try to save our relationship? We’ve been together for years, Claire. We know each other so well.”

  She stiffened her spine. “These days, I don’t feel like I knew you all that well. One minute, we were engaged. I was planning our wedding. The next minute, you ask me out and break up with me over dessert. No, Chris, it would never work.”

  “Is there someone else?” he asked, his nostrils flaring with anger.

  “No,” she said softly. “But I want more. I deserve better than what you gave me.”

  “I gave you everything. We were best friends,” he retorted.

  “Best friends don’t handle a breakup the way you did. We hung out for years, Chris, but you never really even knew me. I was convenient for you. And I don’t want convenient. I want special.” He started to say something but she held up a hand. “You never even listened to me when I tried to talk about what I wanted in a marriage. You never once asked what I wanted or needed.” Claire clamped her mouth shut before she said anymore. There was no need to spill her guts to a man with whom she had no desire to get back with.

  Chris’s shoulders sagged. He dug into his pocket, pulled out his key ring and took her key off. He placed it in her palm and held onto her hand for a brief minute. “If you ever change your mind, I’ll be here.”

  She pulled away. “I’ll walk you out,” she said, more than ready for him to leave.

  She led the way to the door and stepped out on the front porch with him. “Good luck to you, Chris.”

  He took both her hands, a sad smile on his face. “That’s my Claire. Always gracious, even when I’ve made a fool of myself.” Before she realized his intent, he leaned down and kissed her. She felt nothing. No bleep on the radar what-so-ever. She watched him until he’d driven away, then turned to go back inside and froze at the sight of Sam sitting in his truck watching her. She started toward him, her traitorous heart hammering against her ribs, and in that instant knew that she’d fallen in love with this man who gave so much of himself and cared about what she wanted, even while he knew that what they had was destined to only be short-term.

  ****

  “Well, Brutus, that’s what happens when you go calling uninvited.” Sam scratched between the dog’s ears. Dammit, he should have never gotten involved with Claire. He knew she was fresh out of a long-term relationship. Knew she couldn’t possibly be emotionally available. Course that’s not what he’d been looking for, and neither had she. They’d both wanted a good time, and they’d had it. He just hadn’t counted on it truly being a one-night-stand. More like a few months of enjoying one another’s company then parting as friends. That’s what he’d wanted. So why did seeing that guy kiss her twist his gut? He and Claire were not a couple, even if what they’d had last weekend had been fantastic. On every level, he admitted.

  She approached his truck. Reluctantly, he rolled down his window. “I was about to come see if you wanted to get a cup of coffee with me, but looks like my timing was bad. You two getting back together?”

  “You know better than that.”

  He narrowed his gaze on her, another flash of jealousy knotting his stomach. “Do I?” He immediately regretted his words. They had both known where they stood, so no need for him to be irritable with her.

  She touched his arm. “Chris and I were getting closure. That’s all.”

  Relief washed through him, but he still felt totally off-kilter. He had no right to question Claire, yet he hadn’t been able to stop himself. And what did that tell him? The woman had gotten under his skin, and he should be smart and back off, so he could figure out what he wanted and why this unsettled him so badly.

  “You look tired,” he said, reaching for her hand. “Is there a reason you’re avoiding me? I thought we had a terrific time.”

  “We did. It was wonderful.” She stared at their clasped hands. “I needed time to figure some things out.”

  “Did I crowd you?”

  She shook her head and finally glanced up at him. “You were wonderful. This is about me.”

  He let go of her hand, wishing she’d let him in, and wasn’t that just rich. The man who wouldn’t let a woman get close to him wished Claire would allow him to help. “Guess I’d best head on out,” he finally muttered. “Lots of work to get done before next weekend.”

  Nodding, she stepped back. “I’ll see you around.”

  He put the truck in drive and got the hell out of there. “See you around?” he muttered. Damn if he hadn’t just been blown off. He’d had the best night of his life last weekend with this woman. Thought she had too. And now she’d basically told him it was over. He wished he could get angry, but couldn’t seem to muster up that much energy. All he could feel was bitter disappointment that he wouldn’t see Claire again.

  Thank God he had a job to do. He would spend the afternoon getting started on the gazebo. Working with his hands always kept him on solid ground, and right now he needed that. Hell, the way he felt, he’d probably have the gazebo built by this evening. Then he was getting out and having a beer with some buddies. Shoot some pool. Flirt with some women. Whatever it took to quit thinking about the woman who’d just made it crystal clear she wasn’t interested in seeing him again.

  “See you around, my ass,” he complained as he headed back to Crystal Springs and cursed himself for not being able to quit thinking about Claire Coleman.

  ****

  Jillian kicked off her shoes and propped her swollen feet up on Claire’s recliner. “What were you thinking letting that hunk of a man go?”

  Claire cringed. “Quit acting like a big sister for once in your life and try to be supportive. I did not dump him. I just put things on hold.” Claire went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. “You want more soda?”

  “No. I want wine.” Jillian pointed a finger at her. “I guarantee he thinks you blew him off. You should have just said you needed a little distance for a while and left off the, ‘See you around.’”

  Claire sank back onto her chair. “Part of me doesn’t want one bit of distance. That’s the problem. But we had an agreement—a no-strings-attached fling.” She took a gulp of wine. “I thought I could do it, but I can’t.”

  Jillian studied her. “You really fell for him, didn’t you?”

  Claire’s eyes teared and her throat tightened. Jilli
an arched a questioning brow, and Claire cleared her throat. “Yes, I fell for him. Now are you satisfied?”

  “Oh, honey, of course I’m not satisfied. I’m incredibly sorry. What are you going to do?”

  Claire took another gulp of wine. “I’ve already done it.” Just saying the words made her heart ache even worse. “I never knew it could be this way,” she added brokenly. “Kind of got myself in a pickle, didn’t I?”

  Jillian rubbed her ever-growing belly and Claire saw the baby kick. Would she ever have what her sister did—a wonderful man who made her swoon and loved her to pieces. Sam definitely made her swoon. Too bad he didn’t love her to pieces. She swallowed past the tightness in her throat. She wasn’t in a pickle. She was in love. Yep, she’d gone and fallen in love with Sam McGinnis. She loved everything about him, and nothing could ever come of it because he didn’t do long-term. Just like her. At least that’s what she’d thought. She let out a shaky breath.

  “I know you’re hurting, Claire, but you discovered some very important things about yourself,” Jillian said as she shifted in the recliner and grimaced. “I wish I could help. I really do.”

  “Listening helps.” Claire squeezed her eyes shut but tears still leaked out. “Maybe someday I’ll appreciate what I learned, but right now it sucks a brick.”

  “I’m surprised he let you go so easily.”

  “I’m not,” Claire responded glumly. “I’m sure I scared the heck out of him bolting like I did. He’s probably figured out it’s because I cared too much, and I’m sure that scares him even worse.”

  Jillian rolled her eyes. “He’s a man. You give him way too much credit.”

  Claire wondered if that could be true. “After what we shared, how could Sam not know I care, at least on some level?”

  “Must I repeat myself?” Claire didn’t respond and her sister plowed on. “He’s a man, so he’s clueless.”

  Claire couldn’t imagine that being the case, but Jillian was the one with experience. She rubbed her throbbing temples. “Let’s go pester Justin and get me out of the house. I haven’t seen him since his disastrous date with the town drunk, and I need you with me for protection.”

  Jillian laughed. “You hoping he won’t shove his pregnant sister out of the way to get to the sister who dropped the town drunk in his lap?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Fine. Help me up. While we’re talking about Justin, do you suppose the kid will ever settle down?”

  Claire shrugged. “Don’t ask me anything about men. I’m not in the know about the opposite sex.”

  Jillian stuffed her swollen feet into her slip-on shoes. “Yeah, but you’re now in the know about great sex.”

  Claire couldn’t help but laugh, even though she knew the way she felt about Sam had to do with a lot more than red-hot chemistry.

  ****

  Sam took his turn at pool, not caring one way or another about this game, but not ready to head home. Good thing he hadn’t bet much money on his pool skills tonight. He couldn’t begin to keep his head in the game. Claire’s words kept whirling through his brain like a damn dust storm—“See you around,” she’d said with irritating casualness. She might as well have said, “Take a hike.”

  And why the hell was he still mulling those three words over like some love-sick fool? He had a full life. A good life. An almost perfect life.

  But, “See you around?”

  He shook his head and stalked out of the bar, ignoring people calling after him. Time to do everyone a favor, especially himself, and head home. He climbed into his truck and hit the road. Halfway there, his cell rang and he answered without looking. “Yeah,” he barked.

  “Whoa.” Ethan Richardson’s voice sounded perplexed. “You okay.”

  “Just dandy. What’s up?”

  There were several beats of silence before Ethan spoke. “I stopped by the chapel and gazebo earlier. Looks great. You out-did yourself, buddy. The gazebo is fantastic. I never dreamed you’d go all out like you did.”

  Sam never dreamed he would either, but he’d had Claire on his mind while building it and, yeah, he did go a bit overboard. Okay. Way overboard. “No extra charge, Ethan. It was a fun project.”

  “Ashley loved it by the way.”

  “Good,” Sam said as his mind wandered to Claire. He couldn’t help but wonder if she’d like it, too. Or maybe she’d never see it. And there he went again, having one upbeat thought after another. “Tell Ashley I said thanks.” He disconnected before Ethan could respond and turned the radio up in a vain attempt to shift his thoughts away from Claire and the gazebo he’d built with her in mind.

  Damn, he missed that woman. Missed everything about her, and there wasn’t a thing he could do to win her back. She’d summed up her wishes loud and clear. Feeling about as low as whale shit and totally disgusted with himself, he upped the volume on the James Taylor CD and hoped the music would lift his spirits.

  When he reached his place, he drove past his drive and turned into the dude ranch, heading up the road to the gazebo in the dark night. If it weren’t for a half-moon and a sky full of twinkling stars, it would be pitch black. He stopped his truck and got out, walked across the lawn to the gazebo, and sat on the steps.

  Dropping his head in his hands, he let the night surround him as he thought back over every minute of the time he’d spent with Claire, trying like hell to figure out what had happened that had made her call such an abrupt halt to what they had going. He would have bet money she’d been totally on board clear up until the morning after the most mind-blowing sex he’d ever experienced. Yep, Claire Coleman had rocked him to his foundation. Made a huge dent in his life-long armor. A dent big enough to really mess with his mind.

  Thinking about her smile, her gentle soul and the way they’d been together made him wonder if he cared more about Claire than he’d let himself admit. He also wondered if there was even a glimmer of a chance she’d fallen for him? Who was he kidding? “See you around,” was definitely code for ‘get lost.’

  He leaned back against the stairs and soaked in the twinkling stars. Listened as an owl hooted into the quiet night. Heard the mate respond. The empty space in his heart loomed large and lonely, ridiculing him for being so shut off to any possibility of a long-term relationship, that he hadn’t recognized what he had with Claire even though being with her had been filled with all the feelings he never thought he’d have—joy, fun, contentment, and blow-your-mind sex.

  A pack of coyotes began to yip, bringing him back to reality. And the reality was, he wasn’t ready to lose this woman, and by God he would do whatever it took to win her back. Slapping his hands on his jean-clad knees, he stood and headed to his truck, determined to find a way to show Claire how much she meant to him.

  ****

  It had been two weeks since Claire had had any contact with Sam, yet she still yearned see him with an intensity that had her fighting back tears much of the time. Slipping into a robe, she stepped onto her back porch and sucked in the flower-scented morning air. The redbud tree beside the porch was in full bloom and her yellow and red tulips edging both sides of the porch added even more color. She sighed. It would be beautiful at the dude ranch right now, just the way she’d imagined when she had booked her wedding for this week.

  But it was not Chris she now yearned for. It wasn’t even the beautiful wedding she’d planned.

  It was Sam.

  Her heart ached for a man she’d fallen hard and fast for while trying to convince herself that her feelings were based strictly on chemistry. What a fool she’d been. She wished she had the courage to call him up and ask to see him again, but she didn’t think that would be smart. Seeing Sam would only prolong her pain, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. Yet in spite of that, she couldn’t quit thinking of him.

  It hurt that he hadn’t called, but she wasn’t surprised. Why would he? She certainly wouldn’t if the situation were reversed. Jillian had probably been right about the “
See you around” comment? She cringed at the thought.

  Discontentment filled her, blocking out all hope, and she knew it was time she did something to shake her crappy mood. It was way too beautiful of a day to stay inside and feel sorry for herself. Perhaps a horseback ride at the dude ranch would help put her problems into perspective.

  She went back inside and got dressed. After tugging on her boots, she headed to her car. Her dad and Dottie were at the ranch, so she might hang around for a while after her ride and have lunch with them. It would be a lot better than sitting at home moping or going to the office and trying to work.

  Within thirty minutes, she was at the ranch. A group of people mulled around the horse stables, so she hoped they had an extra horse available. She saw Ashley and walked over to her. “Hey, Ashley. Any chance you have a horse I could rent?”

  “Nope, but I have one you can ride, and don’t make me say that ever again,” Ashley chided. “I’d ride with you but I’m about to take this group out. You’re welcome to join us.”

  Claire smiled but shook her head. “Thanks for the offer. I think today I need to do my own thing, but let’s get together soon.”

  “Great idea,” Ashley said, giving her a quick hug. “Grab the gray gelding over there. Jaeger’s a good horse.”

  “Thanks.” Claire swallowed hard. This was the horse that had come over to be petted when she was here with Sam at the auction.

  Ashley swung up on Majesty and led her group toward the south pasture.

  Claire walked over to the gelding and patted him on the shoulder. “Ready for a ride?” she asked, unwrapping a rein from the fence, grabbing the saddle’s horn and cantle, then sticking the toe of her boot into the stirrup and swinging up. The gelding tossed his head and moved out eagerly. Within minutes, the clutter in Claire’s mind had all but vanished, and she felt her tension ease. Clearly there was something healing about animals and nature, and she was glad she’d come out here.