Cat Bennet, Queen of Nothing

by Mary Strand

  Which probably explained Jeremy.

  But what were the odds that he parked right next to me and was either just arriving or leaving? Less than zero?

  “Cat. Hey.” He blew on his bare hands. Yep, he’d been standing here a while.

  “Jeremy?” I fished in my purse for the keys to the Jeep, finally pulling them out. “What are you doing here?”

  He grinned, but the grin faded when I stared at him. “I saw the Jeep and thought you might be coming out soon.”

  “How’d you know I had the Jeep? Mary could’ve had it.” Besides, how could Jeremy possibly guess how long I might hang out at the mall? It could be hours, easy.

  “We were jamming this morning.” He shrugged. “Mary rode with Josh in his car.”

  “Jamming?” I practically bit off my tongue the instant the question came out of my mouth, knowing I sounded like an idiot. I knew what he meant, but I wasn’t really into music. I’d always been afraid I’d get stuck with piano lessons if I showed the slightest interest.

  “Jamming. Like, playing. We practiced a few songs for a gig we might get next month, but we were mostly just jamming on our usual stuff.”

  In other words, loud and with nonexistent lyrics, from the little bit I’d heard.

  “You don’t have to look like that.” Jeremy’s mouth twisted as if he’d sucked on a lemon. “We’re not that bad.”

  “I didn’t say you were. Besides, I only caught the first song or two the other day.”

  “You caught us warming up. We weren’t playing yet.”

  I guess that explained a few things. Except the part about Mary being in the band.

  “Do you, uh, have a name for the band?”

  I have no idea why I said that, as if I wanted to keep this conversation going. I didn’t. Not in ten-degree weather, but not any other time, either.

  “Yeah. Royal Revenge.”

  “Oh.” I couldn’t think of a follow-up comment that wasn’t obvious, since our school nickname was the Royals, and if I stood here much longer I’d probably ask him why he dyed his hair red and green, let alone at the beginning of February. Besides, my hands were freezing, and Jeremy’s nose was bright red. It almost matched his hair dye.

  And this was Jeremy. He wasn’t ugly—with the possible exception of the bizarre dye jobs—but he had a pathetic crush on me. At least my crush, Drew, had liked me at some point. And unlike Jeremy, I’d never told the whole world about my crush. Tess and Amber did that for me.

  “Are you gonna come to another jam session sometime?”

  If hell froze over, sure. My mind floundered for an excuse that didn’t sound totally lame. “I’m kinda busy. Trying to get a job.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” I rattled my keys in the air as I felt my lips start to go numb. “Anyway. Gotta head out. I’m late.”

  Jeremy stared at the keys in my hand, then down at his green Converse. “Good to see you. Stop by and check out our band again sometime. When you’re not working.”

  Based on my current job prospects, that could be pretty much all day, every day.

  “Shoot.” Looking at Jeremy, I realized how desperate I was to avoid hanging out with Mary and Jeremy and their band. “I forgot one other place where I meant to look for a job.”

  I stuffed my keys back in my purse and turned to head back into the mall. Unfortunately, Jeremy followed me.

  “Yeah? Where’s that?”

  Lie. Lie. Lie. No way would I admit I was about to abandon all my scruples and apply at Nickelodeon Universe. I also needed a place where Jeremy wouldn’t follow me.

  “Um, Victoria’s Secret.”

  I said that? To Jeremy? Argh!

  Twenty minutes later, I had a job application for Nickelodeon Universe in my hot little hands. Actually, they were sweating, but it might have as much to do with the thought of spending another moment with Jeremy than with working at the amusement park.

  At least the manager had smiled at me. And the uniforms weren’t as lame as I’d thought. Basic black pants. Most of the concession workers wore a yellow or orange polo shirt with a Nickelodeon Universe logo on it. Ride workers wore yellow, orange, or black shirts. Black would be good.

  I went out to the parking ramp again, and this time Jeremy wasn’t waiting for me. Relieved, I hopped in the Jeep and took off, then walked in the front door fifteen minutes later.

  Dad sat in his chair, puffing on his usual cigar, wearing an expectant smile on his face. Maybe he liked the thought of putting me back in prison for the duration. Parents could be pretty cruel that way. Especially mine.

  “So? How did it go?”

  The truth was, I was tired of lying. Even to Dad. I waved my two pathetic job applications in the air.

  “Not a lot of jobs, but I looked all over. Nickelodeon Universe is a possibility.” Whoopee. Still, at least they’d maybe consider me, unlike that clothing store where the snooty girl gave me the job application but made it crystal clear she’d burn mine if I ever turned it in. “I need to fill out a couple of applications and turn them in.”

  A curl of cigar smoke wafted above Dad’s head. “Just the two, hmm?”

  I sighed. “Yeah. Just the two.”

  He glanced at the sports section of the newspaper. Even the Timberwolves took priority over the fate of Dad’s most pathetic daughter, and they lost last night.

  After a long moment, Dad smiled encouragingly at me. “I suppose it’s a start. Did you, er, look many places?”

  I said so, didn’t I? “Twenty, maybe twenty-five stores besides Nickelodeon Universe. No one was hiring.”

  At least, they weren’t hiring me.

  “What’s the situation with art club?”

  “This girl in my Drawing class is one of the kids in charge of it.” Dad stared at me, so I kept babbling. “She told me it’s going to take a lot of time to build a portfolio for the art show, and it’s, like, just a month from now.”

  Dad nodded. “So you’ll be busy. Good. A job, art club, and working on your portfolio.”

  “I just have a couple of job applications.”

  “And I have a friend who knows the manager at Nickelodeon Universe. I suspect you’ll have a job.”

  My mouth gaped open. “Dad, you wouldn’t. Nobody does that. I’d look so stupid! I mean, my dad has to get me a job?”

  “It’s how the world works, honey. How did you think you got your job at McDonald’s last summer?”

  I frowned. I hadn’t gotten it when I swished my hips in the door and the guy at the counter fell all over himself to wait on me? “I filled out a job application and talked to the manager, and they liked me.”

  I didn’t like any of them within a week, but that wasn’t the point. I got the job on my own. At least, I thought so until Dad gave me one of his patronizing little smiles.

  “That sucks, Dad.”

  “No. Being unemployed sucks.”

  He should know. Leaving a high-paying engineering firm to run a yoga center was basically like being unemployed. Which was probably why he was making me get a job.

  I spun on my heels and headed upstairs, tempted to toss my job applications in the garbage. But I reminded myself I needed a job. Not just to avoid Jeremy or more of Mary’s babysitting. I had to get away from my stupid house and my stupid dad and the rest of my stupid family.

  And to do that permanently, I could use some cash.

  Chapter 10

  “You are a very strange creature by way of a friend!—always wanting me to play and sing before anybody and everybody!”

  — Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, Volume I, Chapter Six

  I filled out my job applications, changed clothes, and scored the Jeep for another trip to the Mall of America later on Saturday afternoon. The same snooty girl was still at the clothing store, so my chances there were less than zero. At Nickelodeon Universe, though, a semi-friendly face took my application and said they’d let me know.

  The phone rang at nine-thirty Sunday mornin
g.

  A minute later, Dad called upstairs. “Cat? It’s for you.”

  I frowned at the clock. None of my friends would call this early. Lydia? No way. It was an hour earlier in Montana. Besides, she called only when she wanted something, and she didn’t need much at reform school.

  “Cat?”

  I scooted off my bed and grabbed the phone in the upstairs hall. “Got it.”

  It was the concessions manager at Nickelodeon Universe, offering me a job. Big whoop. By the time I reluctantly said yes and hung up the phone, Dad was standing next to me.

  He grinned. “What did I tell you?”

  “That you’re so desperate to get rid of me, you called the guy at home last night to make this happen?”

  The grin turned into a grim slash. But Dad wasn’t the kind of guy a girl could tease—unless the girl’s name was Liz. “No, I said they’d hire you.”

  I sighed. “What do I do if the other place calls?”

  “That’s what we call a good dilemma.” Dad tapped my nose, as if I was five years old and his sweet little girl. Not.

  I jumped when the phone rang again. Was it the manager at Nickelodeon Universe calling back to rescind their offer? I waved frantically at Dad until he picked up. Finally, after a pause and a slight frown, he handed it back to me. They were rescinding the job offer.

  “Hello?” The voice coming out of my throat sounded tiny and nervous, not the me I’d always known. It didn’t help that Dad was standing next to me, his arms crossed.

  “Cat? Glad I caught you.” The voice on the other end giggled nervously and didn’t sound at all like the Tess I’d known before my whole world turned upside down. The Tess I knew would also text or at least call my cell phone. “Hey, Kirk Easton’s band is playing today, and some of us are going. Drew asked if you’d be there.”

  My jaw dropped. “Kirk’s band?”

  “The band your sister is in. And Jeremy.” Another giggle, which told me Jeremy’s crush on me must still be front-page news.

  When I almost asked about Drew, I squeezed my free hand into a ball, letting my fingernails dig into my palm. But Drew wanted me there? Or did he just want to know if I’d be there so he could avoid me?

  I couldn’t ask. A month ago, I could’ve asked Tess anything, but this wasn’t the Tess I’d known. For one thing, this Tess giggled a lot. Mostly at me.

  “So? Are you going?”

  “Uh—” I glared at Dad, who still stood there, frowning at me. Finally, he shuffled slowly down the stairs. “Sorry. I didn’t know they were playing today.”

  “Two o’clock at Michael Gallagher’s house. You know where he lives, right? Or you can catch a ride with your sister?”

  But not with Tess, apparently.

  “I’ve been there.” For five long minutes before running out of the place as if ghosts were after me. “I’ll have to see. But thanks for letting me know.”

  A muffled giggle, like Tess was holding her hand over the phone while someone else listened in. “I hope you’ll come. I know Drew wants you to.”

  If he really did, my world had just turned upside down again. I had a sick feeling it didn’t happen quite that often.

  Not even to me.

  More curious than anything, I went to the jam session with Mary. I wore skinny jeans, the Gap sweater I should’ve worn job hunting yesterday, and a skeptical attitude. I didn’t trust a single person in Michael’s basement. Not even Mary.

  As I hesitated on the bottom step to the basement, Mary brushed past me with her guitar and went to the far end of the room where the band was setting up. Kirk came downstairs, his hand touching the small of my back as he went by, his lips quirking when I jumped.

  I headed to the opposite wall, where Tess and Amber were sitting on the wraparound couch, heads together, whispering. After I stared at Tess for a long moment, she scooted her butt over to make room for me.

  The whole band was here now, tuning up, but no Drew. No one said anything to me. Not even Tess, who scooted even closer to Amber and kept whispering. My fingers clenched and unclenched as I mentally counted down the number of minutes—no, seconds—until I got up and left. Again.

  When I made my way from thirty seconds down to ten, Jeremy waved his drumsticks at me. It didn’t exactly make me want to increase the count. Three, two, one. Zero. I eased myself forward on the couch just as Tess grabbed my arm.

  “You’re not leaving, are you? Drew isn’t here yet.”

  “So?” I caught Amber’s smirk as she leaned back on the sofa, half-hidden behind Tess, and I shrugged. “I didn’t come to see Drew.”

  “You don’t like him anymore?” Tess tossed a glance at Jeremy, who seemed to be watching us even though his eyes were half closed as he banged on his drums and crashed a cymbal. “You like someone else now?”

  “I don’t like anyone.”

  It was even mostly true. Sure, part of me still wanted Drew, wanted to feel his arms around me again, even just once, but I knew I was a moron for liking a guy who picked Chelsea over me. I could’ve talked to the old Tess about it, but the new Tess had sharp nails and giggled. Her big green eyes looked sincere, though, as she leaned forward to whisper to me.

  “The band needs a singer, you know.”

  Where did that come from? “None of them sing?”

  “Zach Lashinski does a little. Michael just sounds generic, if you know what I mean.”

  I didn’t, not really, but I nodded. “Zach? Is that the guy on bass guitar with the Cat in the Hat tattoo?”

  It had to be. I already knew everyone else.

  Tess nodded. “They want a girl to sing some songs, but I guess your sister doesn’t like to sing.”

  “Yeah, well, her voice—” I broke off as I remembered that this was the new Tess, and I still wasn’t sure whose side she was on. Even if Mary had the worst singing voice in the world, and she pretty much did, I didn’t need my opinion to get back to Mom and Dad. My freedom was too tenuous already.

  “You were always really good in choir.”

  My eyebrows went up. “That was eighth grade, and I wasn’t.”

  “No, you totally were. Wasn’t she, Amber? Wasn’t Cat one of the best singers in choir?”

  Amber’s mouth twitched, but after a moment she nodded, then looked back at the band. As if she wasn’t listening intently to every single word we said.

  “So.” Tess kept chirping at me as the band started their first song. Jeremy had been right. I’d just heard them tuning up the last time, so no wonder they’d sucked. “You should sing with the band.”

  Jeremy did some fancy kind of drum roll, impressing me more than I wanted, and my foot tapped a beat to his drums. “Hmm.”

  “You will? Cool.”

  I must’ve missed something, and my head whirled in Tess’s direction. “I will what?”

  “Sing with the band. I know they want you to.”

  I blinked. “Thanks, but I don’t want to be in a band. I don’t even have time for it.”

  “You wouldn’t have to do it all the time. Just, like, when you’re hanging out with the band. Jeremy said he hoped you’d be hanging out a lot.”

  Tess flipped her hair and winked at me, and I was pretty sure Jeremy caught the whole thing through his half-closed lids. I stared at her, speechless. What happened to Drew wanting to see me? And why did Tess want to set me up with Jeremy? To make life easier for Chelsea, who already had my old crush and my old friends, basically my old life?

  Tess leaned closer. “I heard Jeremy hoped you’d sing.”

  I wanted to leap off the sofa and run upstairs, but I bit off a snide comment and opted for Plan B. “Why don’t you sing with the band? You were always better than me.” I peered around Tess at Amber, waiting until I caught her eye. “Wasn’t she, Amber? The best singer?”

  “Oh, um, I, gee—” Amber shot a panicked look at Tess a moment before pasting a bland one on her face. “She’s a good soprano, but you were the best alto. Alto is probably better for th
e songs a band would play.”

  I squinted at her. Amber was an alto, too, and she totally kicked my butt when it came to singing.

  Tess patted my hand. “So you should do it. Really.”

  “They haven’t even asked.”

  “I’m sure they will. Trust me.”

  Not lately.

  “Hey, Cat. Wanna dance?”

  I blinked and looked up . . . at someone’s belt buckle. My face flamed as my eyes quickly shot higher to land on Drew’s face. He wasn’t with Chelsea. He was talking to me, a lopsided grin on his face. Even though the band kept playing, it felt as if everyone in the room was holding their breath.

  “Oh.” My own breath whooshed out, but the sound wasn’t as loud as the thumping in my chest. “Hey, Drew.”

  “Wanna dance?” His arm swung in the direction of the band and a nonexistent dance floor.

  I’d never danced with him. Now didn’t exactly seem like the best time to start. “Dance?”

  Drew grinned. “Yeah. With me.”

  “But I—”

  “—forgot your dancing shoes?” He reached out and grabbed my hand, yanking me to my feet in one of the least subtle moves he’d ever made, then pulled me gently into his arms. “Don’t worry, it’s a slow song. See? Nice.”

  No one else was dancing, everyone was watching, and I wanted to throw up. Other than that, sure, this was great. Perfect.

  Not.

  I’d pictured myself in Drew’s arms like this so many times. But something was wrong, even if Drew’s hands felt seductive on my back and his breath tickled as he whispered in my ear.

  “I’ve missed you. Missed being with you.”

  I had no idea what to say to that. “Um, yeah.”

  Um, yeah?

  “But I get it. You weren’t interested.”

  As I went rigid in his arms, stunned at what he’d just said, he pulled me closer.

  He thought I didn’t like him? “That’s not—”

  He held me even tighter, cutting off my words along with my air supply. I wanted to push him away. I wanted to pull him even closer. I really wanted to go somewhere and talk. And, okay, maybe kiss him.