Daddy Dearest: A Christmas Story

by Rachel Burns

  “So I’ve heard. Fi has never gotten better grades. I knew that she needed to find just the right friends to hang out with, and then everything would fall into place.”

  “She had a rough spot?” Martin asked him.

  “She was born with a loud mouth. That attracts the wrong kind of friends. She also went looking for the wrong kind of friends. I hate having to admit that, but she was screaming for attention.”

  “Because she has so many brothers and sisters,” Martin said, letting Nils know that he understood.

  “No, she wanted attention from her peers. She has problems taking life seriously. At home, we didn’t have those problems. She’s helpful and sweet with the family. She loves being a big sister. You have to realize that she’s the boss at home because she’s the oldest. Then she went off to school, and she was no longer the oldest, and no longer the one everyone looked up to. So she tried to be a leader, and the way she thought to do that was by getting into trouble.”

  Martin didn’t say it aloud, but he knew that he would never let Morgan get away with that. He’d beat her black and blue if she got kicked out of school. If she did it more than once, he’d give her up for adoption. There was no way that he’d deal with crap like that.

  The girls were already teeing off and giggling. Martin would have told Morgan to stop, but Nils was thrilled with them.

  Nils gave his daughter instructions, teaching her how to play. Morgan was in the gold group at school, and she had been since day one. When it was her turn, she did well. Martin was pleased with her again. He needed her to excel.

  Throughout the day, Martin got more and more annoyed with the girls’ giggling and chatter.

  After the game, he grabbed onto Morgan’s arm and took her to the side to scold her, warning her what he would do and reminding her that they were here for business.

  Tears pricked Morgan’s eyes. She peeked and saw that Fiona could see her. She didn’t want anyone to know how unusual her family was, and she was glad that Fiona was too far away to hear what her father had said.

  Morgan nodded at her father, promising to be quieter.

  During the lunch they shared, Nils continued to brag about the girls and his family as a whole. He commented constantly how glad he was to meet another father who thought that family was so important.

  Fiona looked at Morgan and gave her a look of pity.

  Martin tried to move the topic to business time and time again. But Nils wasn’t having it. He saw this as family time, and that was sacred to him.

  Martin took his anger out on Morgan when they got home. After that, she went to camp and managed to avoid him all summer.

  Chapter 7

  Morgan smiled at her reflection. Her father had allowed her guardian to buy her a dress for this evening. She felt so beautiful in the soft light pink dress. Her dad would have to see her as a young lady in it.

  Morgan still couldn’t believe he was actually going to come to the school’s autumn father daughter dance. He never had before. She would be given the chance to show him her school and talk to him. He had never come back here since the first day when he dropped her off.

  She stepped into her shoes and looked at herself in the mirror. Would he approve? Her body was slowly starting to fill out. The beginnings of a woman could be seen. She was a late developer, but it was coming now.

  She’d dreamed about this moment every night ever since her guardian told her he was coming.

  Morgan closed her eyes and folded her hands. Dear God, let this evening be the evening he notices me and starts to like me. Please, don’t let me do anything that might upset him. Amen.

  She looked at herself one more time. She was older now. Maybe he simply didn’t like children. Now that she was a young lady, things could change.

  She went down to the great hall, where the ball was being held. Morgan knew that she was smiling so much that she probably looked ridiculous. She had to get that under control before she saw him.

  Fiona spotted her and waved. Fiona’s father was already at school. He was straightening his tie and smiling at his daughter.

  As Morgan came closer, she heard him telling Fiona how much she looked like her mother. He was so proud of his daughter.

  Would Morgan’s dad smile at her and praise her a little too?

  She told herself not to get her hopes up. Hadn’t she got beaten down every time she had dared to hope? No, today was different. She wasn’t a little kid anymore.

  “How nice to see you again, Morgan. You look lovely.” Mr. Patterson greeted her.

  “Thank you, Mr. Patterson.”

  “You’re welcome, Ms. Swift.” He grinned at the formal answer. Morgan was a sweet girl with perfect manners. She was exactly the type of girl he wanted his daughter to be friends with. “Has your father arrived yet?”

  Morgan shrugged her shoulders and looked around. “I haven’t spotted him yet.”

  Nils gave her a reassuring smile. “He said he would be here, so he will be. Your father is a man who keeps his word.”

  That wasn’t true, but Mr. Patterson was saying exactly what she wanted to hear, so she nodded along with him. Still, her eyes searched the faces of the fathers here. She wanted to see him before he saw her, so she could make herself presentable to him.

  If this went well, he might want to spend more time with her and be the father she so longed to have.

  It was her favorite daydream. She would envision that her father finally saw her and liked her. That he wanted to talk to her and listen to her and spend time with her. She would envision him standing outside at the front door waiting for her to come home from school with his arms spread out wide to hug her and wish her a merry Christmas. They would go inside together, and he would ask her about her classes. They would open presents together and maybe even sing a few Christmas carols and drink hot chocolate and have cookies. That would be so amazing.

  Then she spotted her father at the door. His head remained still as he looked through the crowd of girls. It almost looked as if he couldn’t pick her out of the crowd. He even looked directly at her for a moment before his eyes searched on.

  Morgan’s shoulders slumped. She took a deep breath and walked over to her father. Even as she got closer, he didn’t recognize her. It hurt so much that her voice cracked when she approached him, saying only one word. “Dad.”

  He looked at her and nodded. “Is Mr. Patterson here?”

  Not really taken aback by his greeting because she didn’t expect more, she pointed over at him. He was dancing with Fiona.

  “I suppose we have to.” Martin lifted up his hands towards his daughter, a person he had never touched other than to punish in all of her life.

  Instinctively, Morgan took a step back, fearing that he might hit her. Then she realized what she was doing and forced herself to step forward. Her father twirled her in the direction of the Pattersons. Then, he swept past other fathers who were thrilled to share a special night with their daughters, commenting how grown up they looked. Her father didn’t say anything along those lines.

  “Morgan, I see you found your father.” Mr. Patterson smiled at them.

  “Good evening, Fiona. You look splendid.” Martin complimented her. “Nils, it’s good to see you again. Maybe we can talk later?” Martin asked him. “But for now Morgan has my complete attention.” He twirled away with her again, knowing exactly how he needed to talk to Nils.

  Morgan was thrilled to hear him say that. But the fact that his eyes were always on Mr. Patterson let her know that this was a trick.

  Then came a slow song. It was a different dance. One that the girls had practiced, but Fiona had always made Morgan lead. She was so thrown off, and then she stepped on her father’s foot.

  “Hey, watch it,” he scolded her.

  “I’m so sorry.” Morgan stopped dancing and covered her mouth in horror. What had she done?

  “It doesn’t matter. Just don’t let it happen again,” he warned her.

  Morgan
tried to do it right, but every once in a while she took the lead and stepped on his foot again. He was getting furious with her.

  When it happened a fifth time, he took hold of her by her arms and squeezed them so tightly that she whimpered, making others glance her way. “You’re doing that on purpose to be a brat,” he accused her.

  “No, sir. When we practiced, I was always the man and had to lead. I’ll try harder,” she promised him.

  “I thought they had boys bused in from another school to teach you girls how to dance.”

  “No, sir. We danced with each other.”

  “So you’re saying half of the room doesn’t know how?” Martin shook his head disappointed in the school. He already felt that they weren’t hard enough on her. He continued to shake his head as he thought that it would have been better to send her to a girl’s military school. If he had thought to send her to one back then, he would have. But she was seventeen now, and it was too late.

  “I’m sorry, sir,” she apologized.

  He tightened his grip before he released her, turning away from her.

  Morgan was left in the middle of the dance floor, harvesting looks of pity from those around her. When she realized that so many people were looking at her, she hurried off to the girls’ bathroom. She tried so hard not to cry. Her jaw was so tight, and she breathed her way through the pain. I got this, she told herself. It doesn’t matter. She was fine, she tried to convince herself. They didn’t have to dance or to talk.

  Still, she hid in the bathroom for over twenty minutes.

  When she exited the bathroom, she promised herself that she would show no emotion, no matter what he did to her.

  She located her father by Mr. Patterson. They were talking, and Fiona was drinking punch. Morgan went directly to her friend and smiled at her as if nothing had happened. Until now, she had been able to hide the fact that her father hated her. She’d been able to lie away what had happened when they’d played golf last summer.

  If people here knew the truth, they might hate her too. That was what made sense to her. She blamed herself for everything that wasn’t right in her life. Her father was difficult to please. Because she knew that, she shouldn’t have let Fiona push her over and insisted that she got to be the woman sometimes too.

  The men talked about the school, and Mr. Patterson claimed that he was so pleased with this one that he might move his other daughters here too. To which, Fiona immediately insisted he shouldn’t, pointing out that he needed to keep in mind that they had nice friends at their schools.

  “You’re right. A person shouldn’t fix something that isn’t broken. Besides, it’s the school your mother went to. She’d want them to stay put,” he agreed with his daughter.

  Morgan listened to the others and rarely said a thing. Her father ignored her. From him, that was a form of praise.

  When it was time to leave, he left. There were no goodbyes.

  To Morgan, it was clear that he hadn’t come here because of her. It was because he wanted something, and he used her to get at it.

  That realization didn’t hurt her as much as she thought it would. She’d gotten used to it and expected her father to treat her that way.

  That was what hurt the most. There was no hope there anymore.

  Chapter 8

  “We’re going to the club in an hour, be ready,” Martin told his daughter before he quickly walked away from her. He rarely went anywhere near her room, but he’d heard again and again how good she was at fencing. Her trainer even claimed that she was the best at the entire club.

  Martin wanted to see it for himself. When he played against her, she always lost. He saw her as a weak opponent. But when people approached him again and again to comment on her abilities, he needed to get the facts straight. That was why he had a plan.

  Morgan frowned after her father’s announcement, wondering which club he meant. If it were the country club, she would need to dress differently than if they were going to their fencing club.

  She sneaked down to the kitchen, where she knew she’d find their driver. In a soft voice, she asked him which one it was.

  He replied that it was the fencing club. That usually meant that her father would want to check her improvement.

  She was home for Christmas vacation. Secretly, she hoped that this would be the last time that she had to come for that. Next year, she’d be away at college.

  That was still something that she needed to talk with her father about. She had applied to several colleges, and she needed to talk money and other financial matters with him.

  Would he pay for her college? She sort of guessed that he would because, he wanted her to get good grades. Now she had them. College was a way to put them to good use.

  She was certain that he wouldn’t want her here at home with him. Or with him at his office building, a place she had never set foot into.

  Maybe it would be a good idea to broach the topic in the limo?

  She was ready to go and waiting for him in the hallway when it was time to go. Morgan was never late for anything. She was always early so no one would have to wait for her, especially not her father.

  He walked past her without saying a word and went out. Morgan followed at his heels like a puppy.

  After being ignored for about five minutes, she cleared her throat and broached the topic. “I’ve been thinking about college a lot lately, sir. I’ve applied for several scholarships as well.”

  He made a grunting noise to let her know that he’d heard her.

  “Is there one that you would prefer me to go to, sir?” she asked him.

  He finally looked up at her. “You’re going to Yale, like I did. If you don’t get in … so help me God … but you’ll be sorry.”

  “I applied there, sir. I think I’ll get in. I even applied for a scholarship there.”

  He continued to ignore her.

  Morgan stared at him, wondering if she should ask him if he would pay for her college. He wasn’t a generous man.

  She couldn’t conjure up the nerve to ask him. She’d never asked him for anything. Talking to him often got her punished. Normally, she would avoid that at all costs.

  Besides, she had just started a conversation with him, and he had answered her. Asking for too much now would ruin the progress she’d just made.

  ~

  Morgan was in the room where the young people practiced. When the door opened and her father walked in, she lost a point because she was surprised to see him. If he wanted to leave, he always instructed a staff member to tell her. He didn’t actually come in here himself. If she played against him, he reserved a private room.

  “I have to go. I’ll have the limo sent back to pick you up in an hour.” He turned away and left before she could respond.

  Morgan immediately got better once he left.

  Her trainer approached her a little while later and asked if she’d play against a young man who was new and wanted to play against her best fence-man.

  “Me?” Morgan asked him.

  “Yes, you. He’s over there.” Her trainer pointed over at the guy.

  Morgan looked over at the tall muscular guy and nodded. She put her face mask back on and took the position on the mat, waiting for the match to begin.

  They greeted each other with their epees swords vertical and swished them through the air in a strong movement.

  Her trainer called out “En grad.” And then “Prêt?”

  They both answered, “Oui,” telling him that they were ready.

  “Allez,” the trainer called out, and the match started.

  Her opponent came after her strong to the point that it was too aggressive.

  Morgan remained cool and made the point. Her opponent was furious and stomped back to the starting position.

  This time Morgan was better prepared, and she started out strongly. She got him with her epee on his calf, making him mad again. So mad that he fell backwards. Morgan held her hand out to him to help him back
on his feet, but he batted her hand away.

  Morgan looked at her trainer, expecting him to scold this new guy and let him know that this wasn’t how they played here, but he said nothing.

  She returned to the beginning position and waited for her opponent to be ready again. This was the last point, then it would be over.

  She let him try to come for her again, but she backed away and then lunged forward getting him directly in the chest.

  The guy took off his face mask, and Morgan saw her father’s face.

  “You’ve been letting me win. Why? What’s wrong with you? You knew that I wanted you to excel,” he scolded her.

  Morgan immediately cowered in front of him. She had no idea what to say.

  He grabbed onto her by her ear and dragged her out of the room and into the changing room. There he removed her jacket and trousers and spanked her brutally. When she started to cry out, he warned her that she had to take when he dished out in silence. If he heard one peep from her, he’d find a whip and really teach her a lesson. Because swords and also whips adorned the walls here, she believed him.

  Morgan bit into her fist and fought to remain quiet throughout the ordeal, knowing that others must be able to hear what was happening. Still, no one came forward to help her. They wouldn’t dare.

  Martin scolded her calling her a liar and a cheat.

  Morgan wasn’t certain if he was mad at her for winning, or if he was mad that she had been letting him win.

  When he was finished with her, he changed into his street clothes and left.

  Morgan went to the ladies changing room, avoiding looking in anyone’s eyes as she changed. But she could feel eyes on her.

  When she went outside, she saw that the limo was gone. He’d left her here.

  Was this her chance? Should she go to the police and beg them to take her away from him, or should she go home? He usually only beat her once at each of her stays. Christmas was already over. If she hid out in her room until it was time to go, she could go back to school, back to Fiona. In a few months, she’d be eighteen, and he’d have to stop beating her then.