Where My Loyalties Lie

by K. C. Mills

  That was the feeling that she got from being around Logic. Even before she had spent one second of her time with him, she had that feeling. He made her pulse race and her heart pound, and she wanted that. Cedric just wasn't that guy.

  “I don’t get it, Joy; we were good, things were perfect and then you just decided you wanted out.”

  Joy pushed her chair back and stood. She looked at Cedric as he stood. This man was gorgeous; caramel colored skin, soft hazel eyes with flecks of green in them, his low-cut hair housed a sea of waves and his body, and oh lord his body was picturesque. Cedric worked out twenty-four seven and it showed. His lean and muscular frame was something special, but even with all he had to offer, she just couldn’t make herself want him the way he wanted her.

  After moving to her supply cabinet, Joy grabbed her purse and then moved back to her desk to get her coat off the rear of her chair. Cedric watched but didn’t say another word; he just waited for the explanation that Joy had given him multiple times before.

  Once she was near him, he caught her arm and looked down at her beautiful face with a desperate look on his.

  “Why Joy, what is it that made you walk away?”

  “I told you, I just need more,” she answered honestly.

  “More?” he asked looking frustrated. “What more do you need? I can give you everything you want. The kind of life you deserve - just like your parents, my parents. Hell Joy, I love you enough to do that for you.”

  The mention of her parents made her flinch. She loved her parents, but she would never end up like them. They were not what she wanted to be. Joy was sure her parents loved each other but truthfully, she didn’t think they liked each other. They barely spent time together and when they did, they picked each other apart. Her mother was always criticizing the way her father did things, while her father did the same. It’s not like they argued much, just subtle looks and sighs that expressed their irritation with one another. Joy didn’t want that. She wanted to truly be happy; she wanted passion, she wanted to know that she was loved. Cedric wasn’t that for her and he never would be.

  “I’m not going to have this conversation with you again. I have to go.”

  “Joy, just think about it. Please just think about it. I can be whatever you need if you’ll tell me what that is. I can’t fix it if you won’t tell me what’s broken with us.”

  “Bye Ced, have a good evening,” was all she said.

  Joy pulled herself out of his grasp and left her classroom. He stood in the center of the floor, where she left him watching as she walked away.

  After Joy made it to her car, she pulled her phone out to call Karma. She needed to talk to someone and Karma was that someone for her.

  “Hey boo, you just getting home?” Karma asked as soon as she answered.

  “No, sitting in my car. I stayed late. Ced came to my room.”

  “Oh yeah, and what did Poindexter have to say?” Karma asked.

  Joy laughed at Karma calling him Poindexter. “Nothing, same ole. He misses me, why did I leave, blah, blah, blah.”

  “Did you tell him it was because he was boring as hell, and you fall asleep listening to him talk?

  “K, don’t do that,” Joy laughed. “He's not that bad.”

  “Then go back to him, with his tailored, boring ass. Do you even remember the last time you had an orgasm that didn't involve something battery operated, because I can guarantee Poindexter wasn't hitting on shit?” Karma burst out laughing at herself.

  “You are beyond insane; I'm not messing with your ratchet ass like that.” Now Joy was laughing with her.

  “Seriously though, Joy. You can work things out with Poindexter and have some little boring ass uptight kids.”

  “I’m not doing that; I’m just saying he’s not for me. I grew up with that and it’s not what I want. I love my parents, but they’re so robotic and programmed. I can’t live like that.”

  “And you won’t as long as you act right. I’m sure Logic has gotten plenty of excitement for you, with his fine ass.”

  “Who says it’s Logic that I want?” Joy asked as she started her car.

  “Those wet panties you got on right now say it’s Logic that you want. I know you had a river flowing the second you thought about him,” Karma said through a laugh.

  “Bye, I can’t deal with you. Don’t you have some clients or something?”

  “You called me, hoe; I’m just doing my duty as a good friend, but you’re right. I have a meeting in like ten minutes. We chilling tonight?”

  “I’m not sure, I’m supposed to call Logic when I get off so I’ll let you know.”

  “Boo, call that man, you’ve technically been off for two hours. Stop stalling. You survived the first date so you can officially give him some and not be classified as a hoe,” Karma said firmly, but Joy could hear the smile in her voice.

  “Did you really just… wait, never mind. I forgot who I was dealing with. Bye.”

  Karma laughed. “Call him Joy and trust me, let that man reboot your system. Lord knows he can. You can see it all over everything he does with his sexy ass.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want him for yourself?” Joy asked.

  “Hoe, please, first of all, I would not do that to you and you know it and second of all, Lan would kill my ass. I hate him like ninety-nine percent of the time, but that’s my baby. So don’t play me like that.”

  Joy just laughed. “Bye K. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Bye, Joy. Call him, now. Right now,” Karma said and then hung up on her.

  Joy slowly made her way out the parking lot of her school. It was in College Park and not the best neighborhood in the world, but Joy didn’t want to teach privileged children. She wanted to be involved with kids that needed help, where she felt like she was actually making a difference. Her parents had set up all types of positions for her with private schools and academies and to this day, they still didn't understand why she insisted on teaching at her current school. But it was her life, so they had to deal with it.

  Once Joy hit the highway, she connected to Bluetooth and called Logic.

  “Did I wake you?” Joy asked noticing how deep and raspy his voice was.

  “Nah, I’m good, what’s up shorty? Did you have a good day?”

  “I did actually. What about you, what have you been doing all day?”

  “Sitting outside your apartment waiting for you to get home,” Logic said and then laughed.

  “Stop it. You did not do that.”

  “Shit, how do you know? You're not here yet,” he said playfully.

  “Are you really at my apartment?” Joy asked.

  “Chill shorty, no. I’m at home but hopefully, I will be soon. That is if you’re gonna chill with a brother for a little while.”

  Joy smiled. “I can do that. I’m on my way home right now. I need to change and then I can meet you somewhere.”

  “I’ll come get you. Just hit me when you’re ready and don’t be all damn night either. You had me all sad and shit all day, waiting on you.

  “I’m sure you had plenty to keep you busy,” Joy said.

  “I could have been doing a lot of shit, but what I wanted to do I couldn't since you was fucking with them bad ass kids all day. So I chose not to do anything but sit here staring at these damn walls in my apartment.”

  “So you literally did nothing all day?” Joy asked.

  “Literally nothing. Well, I did a little something if you consider all the time I spent thinking about your cute ass.”

  Joy laughed, “Just my ass?”

  Now Logic laughed. “Well, that did consume a great deal of my time but nah, not just your ass shorty.”

  “Hmmm, I bet,” Joy said.

  “I’m about to make a few calls and finish getting ready. Don’t keep me waiting too long.”

  A smile spread across Joy’s face. “I won’t.”

  Joy ended her call and drove the rest of the way to her apartment with thoughts of
Logic on her mind. She didn’t know what it was about him but he was like a drug; she had her first hit and was already addicted. She wanted more - she needed more, but in a way that she couldn’t explain.

  After she made it to her apartment and let herself in, she went straight to her bedroom. She stripped out of her clothes and tossed them onto her bed, before she made her way to her closet.

  She decided on a pair of skinny jeans, a fitted scoop neck shirt and a multicolored Aztec printed sweater. She had no idea where they were going so she wasn’t sure how to dress, but from what little she knew about Logic, she assumed there would be no need for her to dress fancy. Causally cute should be good enough.

  After she had her jeans on, she stood in her full-length mirror, turning her body from side to side, and then checking out her ass. She smirked when she thought about him mentioning it, so she went back into her closet and found a navy cropped sweater that stopped just at her waist, electing to pass on the first sweater she chose. If he had been obsessing over her ass all day, she figured it was only right to make sure he had a good view of it.

  Joy walked into her bathroom, ran a comb through her straight, shoulder-length hair that was currently parted down the middle, falling around her face, before she lined her toothbrush with toothpaste. After she was done in the bathroom, she sprayed her body with her favorite coconut lime body spray, threw on a pair of ankle boots and then called Logic. It had been an hour since they talked and she was ready to see him.

  Thirty minutes later, he was at her front door, smelling amazing and looking even better.

  “Do you want to come in?” Joy asked standing in front of Logic with her door opened.

  “Hell yeah I do, but I don’t need to because I can’t promise you that I’ll be able to control myself. You look good as hell,” he said with a smirk.

  Joy was at a loss for words so Logic just laughed. “Come on let’s go eat,” he said.

  “Hold on, let me get my purse.” Joy dashed into the house, while Logic stood at the door waiting. She returned a few minutes later, locked the door, and the two of them headed towards the parking lot. Logic grabbed her hand and pulled her into his side until they reached his car. They walked around to the passenger side and he backed her against it, placed one hand on the window with the other roped around her waist, as he pressed his body against hers.

  “You smell good shorty,” he said making sure his eyes were locked on hers.

  “So do you,” Joy responded which made him laugh, before he leaned in and let his lips find hers. They housed a chill because of the cold air that surrounded them, but the kiss they shared quickly took care of that. Without notice, Logic pulled away bringing Joy with him, before he grabbed the door handle to open the passenger side door. He winked at Joy and then made his way to the driver’s side to get in.

  “So where are we going?” Joy asked as soon as they were on the road.

  “To my mom’s house,” Logic said, as he glanced down at his phone which was on silent, but receiving a call.

  “Your mom’s house?” Joy asked with a confused frown.

  “Yeah, you okay with that? I haven’t been by there in a minute and my sister called today threatening me.”

  “You want me to meet your mom and your sister?” Joy asked even more confused. “I barely even know you.”

  “My people are cool and besides, if they don’t like you there’s no point in you getting to know me anyway, right?” he glanced at her with a grin.

  “But what if I don’t want to meet your family?”

  He shrugged. “Then we don’t go.”

  Joy was undecided about what to do. She barely even knew him so she wasn’t thrilled about being thrown into his family. Families had a way of testing people, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that. Especially if they were anything like his cousin Nova. She was definitely nice but very outspoken and forward, so there was no telling what his mom and sister would be like. What if they didn’t like her, would that ruin her chances with him before they even got a good start?

  “Well shorty, it’s your call. What’s the deal?”

  “I guess I’m fine with it,” Joy said.

  “Good, because we were going anyway,” Logic said with a cocky grin before he reached for her hand.

  Joy just shook her head and smiled nervously. She didn’t know what she was about to walk into, but it was too late to back out.

  -6-

  Logic pulled up in front a tiny brick house in a neighborhood that Joy had never been to before. She could tell that it wasn’t the best, but it was still quiet and nice.

  “Why you sitting over there looking like you’re about to cry shorty? They don’t bite. They might swing on your bourgeois ass but they don’t bite,” Logic said with a grin, just before he opened his door to get out.

  Joy was already feeling uncomfortable, so his little joke wasn’t helping. He walked around to her door and pulled it open, before reaching for her hand to help her out.

  “Can I have one more kiss before we go inside, because I know your scary ass isn’t going to kiss me in front of them?” Logic asked just before he placed his hands on her waist, forcing her body against his.

  Without waiting, he gently tugged on her bottom lip for a second and when he let it go, he moved into a full-blown kiss that had Joy weak. She didn’t understand how he did that to her every time, but she liked it.

  Once he finally released her, he grabbed her hand. “Come on princess, the wolves are waiting,” he said, as he made his way up the steps to his mother’s house, dragging Joy behind him.

  As soon as they were inside, a tiny voice sounded from the living room sofa. “Hey Unc, you wanna play?”

  Joy followed the voice and laid eyes on the most handsome little face that she had ever seen. She smiled but he wasn’t looking at them, because he was focused on the oversized TV in front of him.

  “I got you in a few Trent, and you know we gotta talk, right? Your mom said you’re showing your ass again.” Logic’s voice forced his nephew to look up at him and with a slight frown, he nodded and then went right back to the game that he was playing.

  “Mommy, Auggie’s here,” a female version of Logic came strutting down the hall, as she yelled over her shoulder. She and Logic could have been twins.

  Logic released Joy’s hand and pulled his sister into a hug, before he kissed her on the forehead.

  “Make sure you talk to him Auggie,” Najah said pointing her finger at her son, while her other hand rested on her hip.

  “I will. Chill Nah Nah, I just walked in the damn door,” Logic said.

  “So you must be the new boo thang,” Najah said now focused on Joy.

  She smiled nervously and extended a hand to Najah. “I’m Joy.”

  Najah peered at her brother for a second and then looked back to Joy who was still holding her hand out, before she smiled and pulled Joy into a hug. After she let her go, she laughed just a little and turned to walk away. “Yeah, Nova was right… you’re classy boo! Come on, Mommy is waiting.” Najah was talking but still walking away, so her back was now to them.

  Joy looked up at Logic and frowned, but he chuckled, kissed her on the cheek and followed his sister.

  “Sup old lady?” Logic walked up to his mom and pulled her into hug, before planting kisses all over her face.

  “Well I’m glad to know my son’s still alive,” his mother said as she looked up at him.

  “Chill Ma, you know I’m good. I just be busy,” he said.

  “Either way, I’m glad you’re here.” She was short just like his sister, so she peeked around his tall frame and laid eyes on Joy.

  “Who’s this?” she asked stepping around her son.

  “Ma, this is Joy,” Logic said, nodding towards her.

  “She’s cute, right?” Najah said, as she grabbed a steak fry from the pile that was sitting on the counter in front of her.

  “She is very pretty,” Mini said as she walked up to Joy, who smile
d nervously.

  “Don’t be nervous hun, we don’t bite. We’re a little rowdy but we don’t bite,” Mini said, holding her arms open waiting for a hug from Joy.

  “I already told her that but she acts like she don’t believe me,” Logic said with a cocky grin, before he sat down at the kitchen table.

  “Auggie, why you messing with this girl?” Mini said after she released Joy.

  “Come here shorty,” Logic said, holding his hand out for Joy. She walked over to him and was about to sit in the chair next to him, but he caught her arm and pulled her onto his lap. He roped his arms around her waist and let his hand rest on her stomach, while the other was on her thigh.

  “So Joy, how do you know my Auggie?” Mini asked with her back towards them, as she pulled open the oven door to check on the steaks that were warming in it.

  “We met at Intrigued,” Joy replied, before she glanced back at Logic. She was curious about why they were calling him Auggie, but didn’t want to ask.

  “Hmm, so he got your ass with one of them damn poems of his, huh? Forever got females dropping panties for him with that mess,” Najah said, not moved by the fact that she was literally putting her brother on blast.

  “Damn Nah Nah, you disrespectful as hell. You do see her right here, don’t you?!” Logic snapped at his sister.

  “It’s true, so don’t trip. Hell, it don’t mean you hitting ‘em off just cause they dropping ‘em. I’m just stating facts. You be having females in a trance with that mysterious poetry shit.”

  “Najah Maria, please stop with all that language and stop making this child feel uncomfortable in my house. You just go too far,” Mini said, pointing the wooden spoon she was holding at her daughter.

  “Sorry Ma.” Najah rolled her eyes and then focused on Joy. “Look boo, don’t sweat it. My brother is a little manwhore, but you obviously got that under control because he don’t bring anybody over here. Don’t trip over what I’m saying. I’m just talking. If he wanted you to meet Mommy, then you good.”

  Joy smiled, but the fact that his own sister was calling him out, stuck with her. She wasn’t naïve; she knew for sure that Logic had women, but his sister made it seem like he had a hell of a lot more than she even imagined.