The Black Morass

by Gerald Lambert

  Ajh laughed pleasantly and moved on to the next youth. Var, who had been patiently waiting by Zadí's side, as promised, took her arm and began guiding her toward the pavilion

  near the palace where the youth would be eating all of their meals.

  Zadí removed her arm from his hand and said, "Var, can I talk to you for a minute?"

  Var raised his eyebrows in surprise that she would ask like that. "Sure, Izzie," he replied with a playful grin.

  Zadí rolled her eyes and elbowed him, which he allowed, though he could have dodged her.

  Var slung his arm around her shoulders in a casual expression of friendliness. "Shall we walk?" he suggested.

  "Yes. And I wish you wouldn't call me that. You know how much I hate it."

  "I do. Which is why I do it. How else is a dumb male supposed to show a girl he likes her?"

  Zadí looked up at him as she heard his voice change from teasing to serious. She knew he meant it and that he not only liked her a great deal, but most likely loved her.

  "Var," she objected with reluctant protest in her voice. "That's what I want to talk to you about."

  "What?" he said, clearly not willing to guess at her meaning.

  "You liking me!" she exclaimed. "I don't think it's fair to you to keep feeling like that when I'm not sure I return your affection."

  Var solemnly regarded her with his amazing, shimmering goldenbrown eyes. But he said nothing.

  Zadí sighed and stared into the distance beyond him. "I'm sorry, Var. You're one of my best friends and I'll always love you like that, but I feel too young to be as sure as you seem

  to be of anything beyond friendship. And yet, it's so obvious how you feel. You're so protective of me, and I feel guilty when I talk to another boy. Or even look at one." She

  cautiously glanced at him. "I don't want to feel obligated to you or like I belong to you."

  Zadí flinched internally at the pain on his face, but she kept her composure on the surface. Var lifted one of his large, strong hands to gently cup her cheek.

  "I'm so sorry you feel that way, Zadí," he softly said. "And if I have ever acted like I think you're my personal property. I don't think I could help the way I feel about you if I tried. I

  will always love you and protect you if it's within my power. But I'll stop acting like that, if it helps. And you are welcome to talk to or befriend anyone you like, though I'm not

  trying to imply that you need my permission. I just want you to know I would never resent that or be jealous. I can understand why the other boys look at you like they do. You

  can't help your charm."

  Var lowered his hand and took a deep breath. After taking one of her hands in his, he gently implored, "But please be wary of some of them. Most of the boys here at the Ceremony

  are decent and respectful, but some of them . . ." He shook his head and anger flitted across his features as he closed his eyes. "Some of them wouldn't hesitate to take advantage

  of you or any other girl if they felt the inclination or had the opportunity." He opened his eyes and insistently stared into hers. "I'm sorry to be overprotective again. But please

  remember, Zadí. I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt."

  Var released her hand and began to turn away. "Please let me know if your feelings ever change," he requested. "I'll be waiting. Forever." Then he slowly walked away.

  Zadí hated the tears that sprang to her eyes. Why did she still feel sorry for him?

  A few days later, Zadí found herself alone above the lake, sitting against a tree. The high queen had commissioned many workers to dig a canal from the Ramr River to an area

  near the city where a large clearing lay at the foot of some high cliffs. Here she caused her laborers to fashion a large reservoir, and once the water from the river filled it, a small

  lake formed, with the cliffs providing a natural dam. The small body of water was necessary for some of the competitions held during the biennial Games, and it also proved useful

  during the Human Choosing Ceremonies, for the youth found respite from the summer heat in the refreshing coolness of the water. Zadí sat atop the cliffs, pensively gazing out

  over the breathtaking view.

  Her mind was still mulling over the conversation she'd had with Var a few days earlier, which she had been reminded of on numerous occasions as she interacted with and met

  other young men during the Choosing Ceremony.

  One thing that had struck her was how different they all seemed to be from her male Dragon Rider friends and family. Brom, Var, and Will were all the same, no doubt thanks to

  the influence of their fathers, who had always been unfailingly loyal and committed to their mothers from the time they knew they loved them. Zadí was aware that it was an

  amazing trait to have and that most boys weren't as sure of such things at nineteen. Nor did those she had met seem to even want to consider loving only one girl. All of the boys

  and girls she had been meeting at the Ceremony seemed to enjoy interacting with each other, flirting with many members of the opposite gender, and all of the other normal drama

  that went along with the teen years. Why did those three all have to be so good? They all seemed perfect, and Zadí felt so inadequate in comparison.

  It wasn't that Brom, Var, and Will intentionally ignored other girls. They were as chivalrous and considerate as ever when interacting with the female gender. But they never

  encouraged the doting adoration many girls seemed to feel for them. At the Urgal Choosing Ceremony two years earlier, Var, Will, and Brin had been the soughtafter prizes, which

  circumstance had alarmed Brom as he saw Brin interacting so easily—albeit grudgingly—with the young Urgal rams present for the Ceremony. They had greatly admired Brin's

  fighting abilities, since such skills were so highly valued by the race.

  And Var and Will were more famous than Brin because of who their mother and father were. Many Urgralgra considered them almost princes, since the entire race recognized

  Willow as their rightful queen. But the twin brothers had patiently endured the frivolous worship they girls had displayed, never wavering in the slightest in their affection for Lena

  and Zadí.

  This year, the youth fawned over Brom, Nefin, Zadí, and Hanna, for Lena and Ajh were more familiar to them as the oldest children of the royal family. And a fair few female eyes

  admiringly followed the part Urgal twins wherever they went. It was hard to ignore such tall, strong, handsome males, and friendship and acceptance between the two races had

  never been better.

  Zadí realized she had felt a twinge of jealously whenever she noticed a girl admiring or flirting with Var, though he had been true to his word and never displayed the slightest

  degree of resentment that she had been speaking with and befriending so many of the boys. Zadí knew it would be an immeasurable honor to have Var as her husband and that she

  would most likely be happy with him because he would always put her first. But at sixteen, she felt too young to be as sure as Var, and she knew it wasn't fair to expect him to wait

  around for her to return his feelings, which was why she had asked to talk to him.

  But she knew, as Var had implied, that he still would. He would wait forever and always love her, even if she fell in love with and married someone else. And Var would never

  complain nor object. He would suffer in silent stoicism and remain alone all his long life if that happened.

  The familiar irritation resurfaced. Zadí plucked a leaf from a nearby bush and began shredding it between her slender fingers. She hated feeling obligated to Var, though he had

  never intentionally created that reaction in her. She didn't want to be with him out of pity or because she knew it would make him happy, though that would have been the selfless

  thing to do, what he would have done. She was sure he would always take care
of her if she agreed to be his and that he would attempt to ensure her happiness in every possible

  way. But she wanted to marry someone because she wanted to, not because she felt guilty!

  Zadí knew Brom and Will also already loved girls enough to want to marry them. Brom loved Brin, and Will loved Lena. Of the three girls—Lena, Brin, and herself—Lena was the

  only one who seemed as sure as Will and ready to move forward with him, though Brin seemed closer to that place every day. Zadí had the idea to talk with Brin to see if she could

  discover what had been responsible for the change from reluctant recipient of Brom's affection to flirtatious returner of it.

  Zadí abruptly stood with that firm resolve then jumped as she turned and noticed a man standing on the path that led up to the cliffs, watching her.

  "Oh!" Zadí exclaimed in surprise. "How long have you been there?" It took her only a moment to recognize the man who had been staring at her the first morning of the Ceremony.

  "Not long," the man replied with a reassuring smile. "Maybe five minutes."

  "Were you just staring at me?" Zadí wondered.

  "Aye. Why wouldn't I? This is a beautiful place, but nothing here is as captivating as you."

  Zadí blushed and looked down, feeling the same rush of pleasure she had whenever any of the other boys admired her so openly. Var had told her countless times that she was

  gorgeous, but that somehow seemed different. He was often teasing and had felt like a cousin to her for so many years. Here was a strange man telling her he thought she was

  beautiful.

  The man laughed gently. "I'm sorry to make you uncomfortable. I'm Isaac." He extended his hand.

  Zadí looked up and firmly shook his hand, not wanting to seem awkward. "I'm Zadí."

  "Zadí?" he repeated. "That's pretty. Is it short for something?"

  "Yes," Zadí replied. "Islanzadí. It was my grandmother's name, but it seemed too long for me when I was a baby so my parents decided to call me Zadí."

  "I see," Isaac said. Zadí was glad he didn't seem to recognize the name and hoped he wouldn't ask about her parents. She was almost sure he would recognize their names, and she

  hated how people always treated her with deference when they learned her parents were Eragon and Arya Shadeslayer.

  Isaac was regarding her with disconcerting intensity, though she should have been used to that with Brom as her brother. Zadí supposed he was handsome. His hair was brown and

  closecropped. His eyes were blue, but they were watery and something about them made Zadí mildly uncomfortable, though she couldn't identify why. His chin was somewhat

  weak and seemed to get lost in his neck when he tuned it a certain may. He was tall, but Zadí was used to being around very tall people and was tall herself. Isaac was probably a

  couple inches shorter than Brom, which made him a several inches taller than she was.

  Zadí couldn't keep herself from comparing him to Var, whose eyes were so unique and beautiful. The only other people she had ever met with the same eye color were Willow and

  Varhog's other children. Var had a strong, angular jaw and chin, which also had a deep cleft in it like his father's. His hair was dark brown, almost black. And Var was taller of

  course. Taller than Brom or Isaac. And much stronger, though Isaac looked to be strong and muscular too. Then there were Var's horns, which somehow made him seem so

  powerful.

  Zadí felt another flush of embarrassment as Isaac questioningly raised his eyebrows and grinned. "I hope you're happy with what you see," he said, laughing.

  Zadí then found herself evaluating his laugh. It was nice enough, but not deep and soothing like Var's. What is my problem? Zadí wondered to herself. She had told Var she wanted

  to meet other boys, but as soon as she did, he was all she could think about.

  Isaac unknowingly made her think even more about Var when he asked, "Has anyone ever thought about calling you Izzie after the first part of your name?"

  Zadí felt a flicker of annoyance, not that Isaac said her detested nickname but because it was Var's special way of teasing her. She answered, "Yes, a friend of mine has."

  "A boy?" Isaac knowingly asked.

  "Yes, a boy," Zadí retorted. "But he's just a friend."

  "Are there any boys in your life who are more than just friends?"

  "No. Not in my mind."

  "Well, that's good," Isaac said, obviously understanding her meaning. "So where are you from, Zadí?" he then asked in a conversational tone.

  Zadí raised her eyebrows. He really must not recognize her or know who she was. And how could she answer him truthfully without giving that away? She wanted to feel normal for

  once, not like the daughter of the two most famous Dragon Riders in Alagaёsia. And she also desired to be honest, but she wasn't about to say "The Isle of the Eldunarí," since that

  would be a dead giveaway. So she said instead, "Part of the year I'm from a village near Daret," which was true. The Bolvek village where her family often stayed was near Daret.

  To discourage further questioning along those lines, she quickly added, "Where are you from?"

  Isaac smiled and started walking back down the path that led away from the sheer drop opposite its head, motioning her to join him. "I'm from DrasLeona. How old are you?"

  "Sixteen," Zadí said. "I'll be seventeen in about three months. How about you?"

  "I'm twentytwo," Isaac said. "Are you too young to have a twentytwoyearold male friend?"

  "Not as a friend," Zadí said with a smile. It was the first time she had smiled at him. She immediately saw the effect it had on him and groaned internally. Why did her gift have to

  be charming persuasion, activated by a smile?

  But instead of looking completely won over, as so many other males seemed to when Zadí smiled at them, Isaac's eyes glinted in the strange way that once again made Zadí

  uncomfortable. It was gone as soon as she noticed it, and Zadí pushed away Var's warning that some boys might have bad intentions, which had sprung unbidden to her mind at the

  look in Isaac's eyes. She wanted to get to know another male without constantly worrying about Var.

  "Good," Isaac approved. "How are you enjoying the Choosing Ceremony?"

  Zadí couldn't help but smile again. It was so refreshing to talk to someone who wasn't aware of her association with the Dragon Riders. Three years ago in Ellesméra she had been

  treated almost as royalty because of who her parents were. "It's nice," she responded. "And interesting. The dragons are pretty."

  "Yes," Isaac agreed. "But I'm not sure about the Riders."

  "What do you mean?" Zadí demanded, more sharply than she intended.

  Isaac looked over at her in surprise but didn't comment on her tone. "I've often wondered if they think they're better that we are. And isn't it strange that many of them have

  parents who are also Dragon Riders?"

  "Oh," Zadí said with a laugh. "I see what you mean." She was pretending she had misunderstood him to downplay her sharp reply. She realized Isaac must be one of the youth with

  hard feelings toward the young Dragon Riders, and it was for this very reason that Lena wanted to hold these camps in the first place. "I guess I don't know," she continued with

  affected ignorance. "They seem nice enough. My understanding from what the guardian Rider said the first day is that the dragons choose their Riders, not the other way around."

  "How?" Isaac asked. "They're inside their eggs."

  "I don't know," Zadí truthfully answered. She had never understood that either. In fact, none of the Dragon Riders really did. "But a dragon hatching for a Rider's son isn't a new

  thing."

  "True," Isaac allowed. "His Highness is the son of one of the Foresworn." Zadí dipped her head. Very few people knew that her father was also the son of a Dragon Rider. "And now

  his son is too."
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  Zadí nodded again. Isaac continued by asking, "What did you think of meeting the egg? I saw one of the Dragon Riders acting really familiar with you. Do you know him?"

  "That would be Var," Zadí said in exasperation. "I do know him." She didn't want to lie, but she also didn't want to explain, so she quickly added, "To answer your question, it was

  neat meeting the dragon egg. I thought it was pretty too." The full truth behind this matter was that Zadí had met this egg, and all the others in the Cave of the Eldunarí, numerous

  times. And none of them had ever hatched for her.

  Zadí thought she could understand how Lena felt. And Brin, up until a couple years ago when she was chosen at the Urgal Ceremony. But Lena seemed to have come to terms with

  her fate. She was incredibly smart and confident about her ability to still make a difference, though she wasn't a Dragon Rider. And Brin had already been an unbelievable fighter

  before ever becoming a Dragon Rider. She hadn't needed any special help to be amazing at that. Hanna, of course, was too sweet to ever feel resentment about anything, and she

  also had amazing magical abilities.

  Which was why Zadí felt even more worthless. Aside from using her mind to communicate with others who also could—and her charming smile, of course—Zadí felt completely

  ordinary. She had never inherited any magical abilities from her elven mother. Brom seemed to have gotten enough for the two of them combined.

  And though Zadí had her mother's black hair and green eyes, she looked like a human. She had her father's round human ears. At least, Zadí's were round like her father's had been

  before becoming a Dragon Rider and being transformed to resemble an elf more than a human during the Bloodoath Celebration. Her father's beard and body hair were his most

  obvious outwardly human features.

  Zadí's facial structure was also more human in appearance. Her jaw and chin were broader than an elf's, though they were still feminine. Her eyes weren't slanted and her

  eyebrows were rounded and arching. She knew she was very beautiful, and since she was tall—also thanks to her parents—she looked older than her age. But it didn't make her