Uncross My Heart

by Jennifer Colgan

  Her growing curiosity drew her fingers to the scar that crossed his collarbone, and she traced the thin white line along its jagged path. “How did you get this? It must have been before you were turned.”

  He watched her from beneath his lashes, his breathing deep and steady, his body sumptuously warm from a vigorous round of lovemaking. After a moment, he shifted position, wrapped a leg around hers and pulled her close to him. “Not long before, actually. One of my sire’s enemies attacked him with a wooden stake. Though I was merely one of his employees then, I jumped into the fray to save him from being injured. I was stabbed. The wound was shallow, but became septic. Gratitude for my selfless act led Anton to offer me the transformation and, knowing I might not survive the ravages of an infection, I accepted.”

  Zoe stared at the mark, wondering if the wound would have ultimately proven fatal. “So dying might have saved your life.”

  Julian stroked her hair. “Perhaps. I’ve never been one to dwell on irony.” A quiet moment passed, and he shifted again, sliding his legs along hers. “I think it’s morning.”

  “It’s hard to tell up here,” she said, flicking her gaze to the windows. A soft glow seeped in from the formless netherworld beyond, giving the room the illusion that it might be dawn. The candles had guttered some time ago, and there wasn’t a clock in sight.

  To Zoe, it hardly mattered. She’d found her heaven, and she wasn’t interested in leaving no matter what time of day it was.

  “Are you hungry?” Julian asked, tangling his fingers with hers. He was restless now, and she figured it went against his nature to lie still and vulnerable for too long.

  “Always.” She hated to admit it, but they’d certainly burned off enough calories to need some refueling. Nevertheless, she pouted when he sat up and lowered her to the pillows beside him.

  “I’ll bring you something.”

  She sighed. “No wheatgrass, please.”

  He laughed, and the sound seemed to curl around the nerves in her belly. “I’m sure we can come up with something.”

  Zoe blinked, caught between the desire to drift back into the dreamy haze of sleep and the need to be with Julian. “Why don’t we go for a walk and have breakfast at a café? With your sunglasses on, you’re pretty well disguised. It’ll be fun.”

  He seemed to contemplate that. With his hair tousled and his jaw stubbled, he looked like a man who was supremely satisfied. It had been a while since Zoe had enjoyed a little female pride in that arena, and she relished it. She reached up and traced the strong line of his jaw with her knuckles. He kissed the tips of her fingers, then moved to her palms and her wrist.

  In moments, he had her wriggling and moaning beneath him. “Who needs food?” he growled, and she squealed when he dove in and nipped at her neck. “I’ve decided I’m going to eat you.”

  And she let him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Beneath a flapping canvas awning on the boardwalk, Julian sipped fresh lemonade and watched Zoe feed the remnants of an oversized sweet roll to a flock of sea gulls.

  He contemplated the drink in his hand, unchanged in a hundred years. He’d have had something similar when he first arrived on these shores in the late 1890s. Half a lemon, though it would have been smaller then, reamed and dumped in a paper cup full of ice and water, stirred with several tablespoons of barely dissolved sugar so that each gritty sip was sweet and tangy at the same time.

  Like the woman he’d taken to bed last night.

  He’d been out of his mind with lust, and he’d hoped that having her once or twice—or even three times—through the night would be enough to sate his need, but it wasn’t. He watched her now as she leaned over the wooden rail at the edge of the boardwalk, daring the sea birds to steal bits of bread from her outstretched fingers, and still he ached for her.

  With the salt breeze tousling her curls and the mid-morning sunshine making them shimmer with golden highlights, she was beautiful and beguiling. She owned him.

  And he hated himself for falling victim to yet another human weakness.

  What would be wrong with indulging his desires just for the next two days, until Hester arrived to set things right? Wasn’t he entitled to his pleasure—a walk in the sunlight without his skin blistering and burning, making love to a woman who would happily recall every love bite he’d given her? Why shouldn’t he make the most of this otherwise intolerable situation?

  He watched Zoe brush crumbs from her fingers and wave the remaining birds away. “Sorry, fellas! It’s all gone,” she said before returning to the table where they’d eaten their morning meal. “This isn’t so bad, is it?” She swiped his half-finished lemonade and took a sip.

  “I’d have preferred room service.” He smirked. Did he dare admit that he actually felt content? Behind cheap sunglasses, the odds of him being recognized, especially during the day, were slim and, with a little effort, he could hide whatever true emotions he was feeling from her. If only he could hide them from himself.

  “Well, I have that covered. The market is a block from here. We can go in and order some staples. I might even have enough cash on me to spring for the ingredients for a quiche.”

  “Be still my heart. Can you cook?”

  She pursed her luscious lips and winked. How many times had he tasted her last night? Yet the thought of another kiss made him instantly hard.

  “Not well. But I have other talents. Come on. It’s time to relax just a little bit. Right now, everything is okay. We’re safe. Let’s enjoy it for a little while.” She held out her hand to him, and he laced his fingers through hers. A little while was all they had, and it would be his undoing.

  That afternoon Zoe coaxed him into walking on the beach again. She allowed him his sunglasses, but not his windbreaker or his hat.

  “A little sun is good for you,” she said, dancing ahead of him toward the water’s edge. “It gives you energy.”

  He smirked at her. “I’ve got plenty of energy. Come inside with me and let me show you just how much.”

  She giggled and fluttered out of his reach, teasing him along until he began to feel comfortable in the brilliant sunlight and relentless breeze off the waves. As they combed the crescent of damp sand, Zoe stopped here and there to collect bits of sea glass in shades of green, blue and amber. She showed him the handful of faux jewels. “Isn’t it amazing what the water can do?”

  “To broken glass?”

  “To anything, really. That’s something I’ve always loved about the sea. It softens the edges of everything. It’s soothing.” She stuffed her palmful of treasure into her pocket. “I’ll give these to Tanya. She makes jewelry sometimes that I sell in the shop.”

  Julian soaked in her words, half-listening, more intent on getting close enough to his gypsy to touch her. “What made you decide to open a store? It seems like an uncertain way to make a living these days.”

  “Not really.” She jammed her hands into her pockets and subtly steered him toward the breakers. “In fact, I’ve done pretty well this past year. I just hope I can keep my lease.”

  “If I were still a vampire, I could make sure you would.”

  She slowed her pace toward the water. “I’m not sure I want to know how.”

  “A simple conversation with your landlord. I could convince him to let you do anything you wanted to do.”

  “Hmm. Well, I’m not completely without my own powers of persuasion, you know.”

  “Oh?”

  She raised a golden brow. “Look at yourself. You’re out here in broad daylight, practically getting a tan. And now I’m going to get you into the water.”

  “Oh, no you’re not.” Julian angled away from her, determined to prove her wrong.

  Cold drops of water splattered on his back, and he turned his darkest glare on her. She matched his expression and ran deeper into the waves. He had no choice but to chase her.

  Despite the pre-season chill, they played in the water, kicking foam at each other when the tid
e came in. Later, Julian raced her up the beach and tackled her in the dunes where he kissed her until she begged for breath, and then he copped a feel.

  They went back inside Hester’s bungalow and made love, this time in his room.

  That evening they cooked pasta purchased from the corner market and drank cheap wine. They fell asleep wrapped in soft blankets as the fire slowly died in the hearth.

  On Thursday morning they argued over the proper seasoning for an omelet. Later they showered together, and while they made love under the hot spray, a bar of Hester’s lavender-scented soap melted into the drain.

  That night Julian found a spell in one of Hester’s books to call forth a goblin. While he had no desire to conjure some mischievous otherworldly creature, he relished the panicked expression on Zoe’s face when he began assembling ingredients from the witch’s pantry.

  He feigned indignation when she snatched a bottle of fenugreek from his hand.

  “Maybe you should put this back where you found it. Hester might be saving it for something,” she said, clutching the small vial in her fist.

  “The spell calls for a pinch, and besides, if we control the goblin, we can order him to go out and find us some more.”

  She glared. “If we control the goblin? No, no, no. I don’t like those odds.” She sidled past him and tipped the tiny bottle back onto the upper pantry shelf.

  “What odds?”

  “The odds of a goblin doing what we tell it to do. Not that I believe in goblins, but I suspect they’re not very obedient as a rule.”

  Julian stifled a laugh. “Come on, it could be fun.”

  “No, I’m pretty sure it won’t.” She wrestled the book out of his hands and snapped it closed.

  Julian let his shoulders droop. “Well, what can we do then? There’s nothing on TV.” He fingered the binding of the book.

  “We could play cards. Or dance… We could put on some music and you could teach me some of the oldies. You must know all the classics.”

  “I was never much of a dancer. Maybe you could dance for me? One of those exotic, sensual dances with the seven veils.”

  She cocked a brow at him. “You mean like a striptease?”

  “Hmmm, is that what it’s called these days?”

  “I don’t think—”

  “Or a goblin.”

  Zoe yanked the book out of his reach, performed an Oscar-worthy sigh of exasperation and pushed him toward the sitting room. “Fine. Fine. I’ll see what I can do. Why don’t you go light some candles while I put this book somewhere safe?”

  “A very long dance. A very complicated dance…”

  “Fine! Go, go. Anything but a goblin.”

  Julian chuckled as he settled on the couch to await his private show. Who said he could no longer influence people to do his bidding?

  Friday morning, Julian cursed Hester when his fifteenth attempt to reach her by cell phone failed. Damn the Draconus. The pompous magician was probably stalling just to make Julian sweat. How long could it take, after all? Either there was a spell to restore him or there wasn’t. Regardless, he had to meet Lambert at four A.M. for the next gambit. The game would play on whether Julian found a way to cheat the rules or not.

  He found Zoe in the kitchen viciously mutilating some fresh vegetables and sniffling into the sleeve of her sweater. He put his hands on her shoulders and rubbed to ease the tension there, then drew her body back against him. “What is it?”

  Her shoulders shook for a moment, then she seemed to find herself. She took a deep breath and uttered three words. “I don’t care.”

  The response baffled him. Her actions told him she obviously cared deeply about something. “I don’t follow—”

  She turned in his arms. Her lovely eyes were swollen from crying, but they glittered like jewels. “I don’t care about the things I’m supposed to care about, and that scares me. Julian, we’ve been here for four days. I haven’t talked to my friends or my family. I haven’t even thought about my shop, and I don’t care. The only thing I can think about, the only thing that worries me, is what’s going to happen to you when you confront Lambert. All I can think about is what I’m going to lose tomorrow, and I don’t care about anything else.”

  Speechless, he tightened his arms around her and guided her head to his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held on. “Why can’t you just let him win? Let him have everything and walk away.” Her voice caught on the question, and she tensed. Julian didn’t need to be human to understand she was waiting for him to give in, to give himself over to her and accept the defeat that came with surrendering to his all-too-human needs.

  Damn it, he wanted to. Wouldn’t it be easy to give it up, accept this second chance at a human life and be with her, grow old with her—and live just long enough to lose everything all over again? Youth and virility would slip away; passion would dim and perhaps be replaced with apathy or acrimony. Whatever fortune he might accrue in a few short decades of active life would dwindle and finally, as he’d seen happen to his own family so long ago, he’d be left to subsist until the end came, undignified and messy.

  “If I let Lambert win, he’ll just reach for more and more until his influence affects the human world. You don’t want that.”

  She wiped her eyes and stood back from him. Her fingers trailed down his arms and tangled with his. “I don’t care.”

  “You might not now, but you will. And by then it will be too late. Lambert will let the Baltimore vampires run amok. He’s always thought my leadership was too strict, that I worried too much about population control and tipping off the human authorities. With him in charge, there will be no rules.”

  She stared at him blankly, and he knew her thoughts. She couldn’t comprehend the depth to which Lambert would sink.

  “Come with me.” He tugged on her fingers and led her out of the kitchen. Together they climbed the stairs and headed for his room.

  The door swung open, revealing the sapphire tones and dark wood furniture that filled the more masculine guest room. Tall pillar candles of Wedgwood blue flared to life when they crossed the threshold.

  Rather than scoop her up and carry her to the bed like he wanted to, Julian left Zoe by the door. He crossed to the bureau which held the meager wardrobe he’d collected and opened the top drawer.

  Her car keys and cell phone lay amid the white T-shirts he’d bought at the discount store. He’d have given them back to her sooner, but after the first day, she hadn’t asked for them again. He turned and held them out to her, but she didn’t reach for them.

  “Go home. When Hester comes back, I’ll send her to you with the protection spells you’ll need to—”

  “No. I’m not leaving now. I’m not going to take the chance that they’ll use me against you.”

  “If you go now while it’s light and stay with your friends until tomorrow, you’ll be fine.”

  She shook her head. “I won’t leave until you do.” Defiance tilted her chin and squared her shoulders. Julian was proud and exasperated at the same time.

  “You’re not going with me.”

  “Someone should.”

  “No. I don’t need another weakness for Lambert to exploit.”

  “If you’re all alone, you won’t think about what you have to lose.” Her eyes glittered, and he knew exactly what she wanted to hear. The small sliver of him that still thought like a vampire decided to use it against her, to make her see reason.

  He crossed the room and thrust her keys and phone into her hands, then brushed roughly past her into the hallway. “I don’t have anything to lose,” he said before he stalked down the stairs and out to the beach.

  “Tell me where you are, and I’ll come get you.” Bryan’s voice was thick with worry when Zoe finally reached him. He’d answered the phone at Tanya’s apartment, which piqued her curiosity, but now wasn’t the time to delve into her friends’ love lives. For now it was enough that they knew she was all right.

  “Don’
t worry about me, Bry. I’m okay. I’ll be home…tomorrow, I guess.” She tried to keep her voice light, but the moment she’d begun dialing the familiar phone number, the gravity of Julian’s last words to her hit her like a brick wall. He hadn’t meant it. He’d said it in an attempt to push her away, to protect her. She forgave him. She had to.

  She’d run away from everything to keep Julian safe, and she didn’t regret it. But no matter what she said or did, he was still determined to walk into the lion’s den and sacrifice the one thing of value that he had left—his life.

  “Zoe, please, tell me where you are.” Before Bryan finished his question, Tanya’s voice came on the line.

  “Are you all right? Are you sure? Zoe, tell me you’re all right.”

  She laughed through the silent tears that had begun to fall. “You sound like my mom. Oh, God, did anyone call my parents?”

  There was a heavy pause during which Zoe heard nothing but the pounding of her own heart. “We’ve been stalling,” Tanya finally replied. “We knew they would freak, and I figured you were with that guy and that maybe we shouldn’t—”

  “I’m with Julian, and I’m safe. He…he needed to get away from Baltimore. I know this all sounds really suspicious, and I apologize.”

  Bryan came back on the line then. “Let us come get you.”

  “No. I’m okay. I’ll be home soon. Please, tell my parents I’m okay. I’m going to call them soon. Don’t worry about me.”

  “If you need us, call. We’ll be there,” Bryan said before hanging up.

  Zoe stared at the phone. She didn’t have the strength to dial her mother’s number. Julian was right. She should just go home, get back to her life, and forget about him. After all, what future could she have with a vampire? Especially one she barely knew.

  When he appeared in front of her a few minutes later, she knew the answer. It wasn’t the future that mattered. It was here and now, and she wasn’t ready to let him go yet. She dropped the cell phone and rose from where she’d been huddled at the kitchen table.