In Blood and Worth Loving 2: Lost Without You

by Marilyn Lee

  He felt a hand on his shoulder. “So? You need to talk?”

  “I fucked up royally.”

  “Again?”

  He opened his eyes.

  He and Macarik stared at each other for several moments.

  Then Jayvyn groaned and sank down on the floor with his back against the wall. “Again. I hurt her, Krist.” Macarik kneeled in front of him. “If she loves you, she’ll forgive you.” He shook his head. “She doesn’t and she won’t.”

  “Let’s go riding and discuss it.” He rose.

  Jayvyn stared up at his closest and dearest human friend. “There’s nothing to discuss. She’s not going to forgive me.”

  “I did.” Macarik reached down and gripped his hand.

  Jayvyn allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. He didn’t protest when Macarik briefly embraced him before walking towards the back entrance. After a moment of hesitation he followed. A horseback ride in the moonlight around the property wouldn’t help but Macarik’s company would.

  When they returned just after sunrise, the house was lit and Brandi was giving instructions to the caterers When they returned just after sunrise, the house was lit and Brandi was giving instructions to the caterers delivering food for the day. To his surprise, Conner and Cayenne’s friend still shared the lounger on the patio.

  Although he didn’t open his eyes, he knew Conner was awake and aware of their presence.

  “Looks like Rayna got two for the price of one,” Macarik said as they stood at the bottom of the staircase.

  “He didn’t fuck her,” Jayvyn said.

  “Maybe not yet but I have a feeling he will before long.”

  “She’s not his type.”

  Macarik shrugged. “Brandi wasn’t Adrian’s type either and now you couldn’t pry him away from her if your life depended on it.”

  “Brandi completes Adrian.”

  “As Cayenne completes you?”

  He shook his head. “She’s not my…I’m not in love with her.”

  “Aren’t you?”

  “I’m just about talked out when it comes to her. Are you staying?”

  “No. When I arrived, Rayna told me Shanise had already left. So I’ll come back later with her.” He placed a hand on Jayvyn’s shoulder. “I’ll see you then.”

  Jayvyn nodded and watched him leave before running up the staircase.

  Rayna emerged from her suite as he passed it. “Uncle Jay? Can I talk to you for a moment?” He stopped and retraced his steps. “Can it wait? I need to see Cayenne.”

  “It’s about her.”

  He tensed. “What about her?”

  “She’s not here.”

  “Where is she?”

  “Uncle Adrian took her home.”

  Damn Adrian! “Why?”

  “He heard her crying. He and I went in and she wanted to go home.” He inhaled slowly. Rayna was one of the few humans whose opinion mattered to him. His stomach riled and acid rose in his throat as he realized what she must think of him now. He shook his head. “I couldn’t stop myself.” She nodded. “I know and I think a part of her knows that as well.”

  “I doubt that.” He turned away, feeling as if his world was crashing around him in flames.

  She touched his arm. “You shouldn’t, Uncle Jay.”

  He turned back to face her. “Why not?”

  “Because when Uncle Adrian asked her why she hadn’t called out for him or Uncle Conner, she said she trusted you not to…”

  “Not to what?”

  “Do too much damage. And she didn’t want to get you in trouble. If you were…overly rough with her and she didn’t have any feelings for you, she wouldn’t have tried to protect you. She did that because she cares, but she is bruised, hurt, and more than a little disillusioned.”

  Rayna’s carefully chosen words left him dreading what Cayenne really thought of him. Did she consider him a rapist? “And determined to go back to her ex?”

  She nodded. “I’m afraid so. I tried to reason with her, but she’s hurt and feeling as if she needs him.”

  “The hell she does!” He stormed down the hall to his suite.

  Rayna followed him. “If you’re going to refuse to give her some time to realize she wants to forgive you, you’d better tell her who you are, Uncle Jay.”

  He swung around to face her. “Like that’s going to help. You know what she thinks of vampires.”

  “I know she has feelings for you. And I know if she understood why you were less than gentle with her last night, forgiving you would be easier. Give her that reason, Uncle Jay. Give her a reason so that her feelings for you will make sense.”

  “What feelings? She’s in love and in lust with her ex!”

  “He’s not the reason she’s feeling as if her heart is breaking this morning, Uncle Jay. You are.”

  “But you said she was determined to go back to him.”

  “She is—unless you give her a reason not to. Go show her how you feel about her. Let her know that you’re in

  “She is—unless you give her a reason not to. Go show her how you feel about her. Let her know that you’re in blood with her and that though it might hurt sometimes, you’re worth loving.” He shook his head.

  She touched his arm. “Admit how you feel to her—even if you’re not ready to admit it to anyone else. She’s feeling hurt and betrayed and you’re the only one who can change that. But only go if you can be gentle with her.” She kissed his cheek and walked to the door.

  “Rayna?”

  “Yes, Uncle Jay?”

  “Thanks for talking to Macarik for me.”

  “Uncle Conner went with me. Kristopher was looking for an excuse to forgive you—just as she is. So give her one.” She smiled and left his suite.

  * * *

  After lying sleepless for over an hour, Cayenne paced her living room. Her thoughts were in turmoil. She had two wounds on her neck. Not scrapes or bite marks. They were puncture wounds. Puncture wounds.

  She had assumed an inadequate cock size was the source of Jayvyn’s agitation with her. Recalling the feel of his long, thick cock powering deep into her pussy, her stomach muscles clenched. His cock was more than a match for Michael’s size-wise. The only other remarks she’d made the night he stormed away from her had been disparaging ones about vampires. She pressed two fingers against the side of her neck. Vampires.

  They didn’t exist. And yet, he’d run up that long staircase with her in his arms without getting winded. And he’d been fascinated with her neck from the moment they met. Added to that, she couldn’t ever recall seeing him eat anything. If he were a vampire that would explain her irrational fear for Michael the night they all met. His being a vampire would also explain how he didn’t look any older than Rayna yet had helped raise her. But if Jayvyn were a vampire, what would that make Rayna? And his brothers? She pressed a hand against her mouth. Desiree was still there.

  Her panic and fear for Desiree subsided when she reminded herself of the care and concern both Adrian and Conner Redwolfe had shown her. She felt certain they would extend the same consideration to Desiree. Just to be sure, she called Desiree’s cell. When her call went to voicemail, she called Rayna.

  “Cayenne! I’m so glad to hear from you. Are you feeling any better?” She quickly decided that asking Rayna about Jayvyn point blank would be a waste of time. “No really, but that’s not why I’m calling. I’m worried about Desiree.”

  “Oh, Cayenne. Don’t. She’s fine.”

  “I called her but she didn’t answer her cell.”

  “She’s out riding with Uncle Conner. I heard her cell ringing so clearly she left it.”

  “Is she okay?”

  “Yes. I’ll call Uncle Conner and ask him to have her call you.” If Desiree was with Conner, Cayenne felt certain she was fine. “If you’re sure she’s okay, don’t bother. I don’t want to worry her. Just ask me to call her when she returns.”

  “I will and Cayenne, I’m sorry you were hurt last nig
ht.”

  She shook her head. “That’s not your fault. It’s his.”

  “Cayenne—”

  “Look, Rayna. I know he’s your uncle and I know you love him, but I’m not in the mood to hear his praises sung.”

  “I understand. I’ll tell Desiree you called.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I’ll see you in the office on Monday?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay.”

  Cayenne put her cell phone down and sank onto her living room sofa just as her doorbell rang. She tensed.

  Without knowing how she knew, she felt certain it was Jayvyn. The bell rang again.

  She took a slow, calming breath before she went to the door. As she had known, the peephole revealed Jayvyn.

  She bit her lip and leaned against the door.

  “Cayenne, I know you’re upset and that you have a right to be, but we need to talk. Please let me in.” Letting him in should have been out of the question. Should have been but wasn’t. Even as tears stung her eyes, she unlocked and opened the door.

  He entered and leaned back against the closed door, staring at her.

  She stared back, waiting for his abject apology. When he remained silent, she slapped him.

  He didn’t speak or respond.

  Angry at his lack of response, she slapped him again and again. By the fourth or fifth slap, he clenched his jaw, but made no effort to stop her. She slapped him until her hand felt numb. Then she balled both hands into fists and hit his shoulders. He allowed that too, until exhausted and longing for a sign of tenderness from him, she dropped her hands to her sides and put her head on his shoulder.

  He immediately engulfed her in his arms and pressed his lips against her ear. He whispered to her in what she supposed was Tsalagi. The words were neither romantic sounding nor lyrical but they were surprisingly comforting.

  She curled her fingers in his shirt and sobbed.

  He held her until her sobs ceased. Then he drew away from her and cupped his palms over her cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

  “You should be! Last night was all about you. You didn’t care what I wanted, felt, or needed. I arrived eager to see you and to try to make amends for offending you. After ignoring me all night when you must have known you were the only reason I was there, you took the choice of whether I wanted to have sex with you away from me.”

  “I can’t undo last night but God knows I would if I could.”

  “Why didn’t you give me a chance to choose?”

  He shook his head. “I’ve never made any secret of the fact that you had me the moment we met. I lost control last night. I couldn’t stop myself, but I promise you it was the first and last time.

  “I am so sorry and I need you to forgive me.”

  “Need? I doubt that. You didn’t seem to want or need anything from me when you were flaunting that anorexic bimbo at me.”

  “She doesn’t mean anything to me.”

  “That’s probably what you told her about me.”

  “She knows you’re important to me. I need you to forgive me.”

  “Well, I don’t think I care about what you want.” She turned away.

  He caught her hand and turned her back to face him. “No. I don’t just want your forgiveness. I need it.” She believed him. More, she wanted to believe and to forgive him.

  He drew her back into his arms. “Forgive me.”

  She wrapped her arms around his waist and clung to him.

  He kissed her cheek and then her neck before he swept her off her feet.

  She linked her arms around his neck and kissed him on the corner of his mouth.

  He cradled her close. “Come home with me. This time as my guest—not Rayna’s.” She lifted her head to look at him. “And sleep where?”

  “With me.”

  She waited for him to promise he wouldn’t touch her. Conversely, when he didn’t, her decision was made. She inclined her head.

  He pressed a quick kiss against her mouth, whispered softly to her, and put her on her feet.

  “What did you say?”

  He caressed her cheek. “I’ll be gentler next time, sweet and I’ll take the time to make sure you enjoy it.” She turned her head and kissed his hand. “And when is that going to be?” He slipped his arms around her and nipped at her ear. “I’m burning for you so I’d like it to be right now, but it won’t happen again until you’re ready for it.”

  “I want to be romanced and I don’t want to share you with that skinny bimbo.”

  “You’re not sharing me with anyone.”

  She drew away from him. “I know you slept with her last night.”

  “That happened before I stopped you from leaving and trust me when I tell you it meant nothing to either one of us.”

  “And where is she now?”

  “I believe she left with one of my friends.”

  “I believe she left with one of my friends.”

  “And that doesn’t bother you?”

  “Why should it? She means absolutely nothing to me.”

  Poor bimbo. “Are you going to sleep with her again?”

  “Probably and it will mean less than it did last night.”

  “Are you serious?”

  He nodded. “I have an extremely strong sex drive. Until you’re ready to satisfy it exclusively, I need another outlet.”

  She stared at him. “What? You expect me to not mind that you’ll be sleeping with her?” He caressed her cheek. “I promise you that when you’re ready to admit we’re soul mates, there won’t be anyone else. And I’ve had to live with the knowledge that you’re still sleeping with your idiotic ex.” She compressed her lips. “Call him what you will but he never once pinned me to a bed and fucked me raw while I shuddered in pain under him!”

  “How many more times do you want me to apologize?”

  “None since it’s clearly too much of an effort!”

  He shook his head and turned away from her. “Fuck it, Cayenne.”

  “Fuck you!”

  He stopped and swung around to face her.

  His lips were compressed and his gaze narrowed. For one tense moment she was afraid of what he’d say or do.

  Then he shook his head again and walked across the room to embrace her. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” She turned her head and kissed him.

  He tightened his arms around her and pulled her tongue into his mouth. They kissed and caressed until she felt his cock swelling against her. Then she drew away from him. “I want to be romanced before that happens again,” she reminded him. “And I’m not sleeping in your bed or your suite.” He kissed her fingers. “I’ll romance you,” he promised. “But you are sleeping with me, Cayenne.” She shook her head. “No.”

  “Hell, yes! Now go get your suitcase.”

  “Jayvyn—”

  “We’re sharing a bed. I’ll wait here while you get your suitcase—unless you want me to join you in the bedroom. If I do, you’re going to have a hard time keeping me out of your pussy.” Her heart raced at the thought of him sliding back inside her. “Is that a threat?”

  “No. Now go shower and get your suitcase—please.”

  “Fine.”

  He slapped her ass as she walked away.

  “Caveman!”

  He laughed.

  She continued to the bathroom, uncertain what she should do about their relationship. Or her relationship with Michael—that would be over if he ever found out she’d slept with Jayvyn. She grimaced. Not that Jayvyn had given her much choice. The fact that he hadn’t and she was still speaking to him, perplexed her.

  Going to his family home as Rayna’s guest was one thing. Going as his—after his outrageous behavior was another. So why are you going? Why are you tingling all over at the thought of spending the night in the same bed where he pinned you down and fucked you raw?

  Chapter Nine

  Plagued by doubts, she went into the bathroom.

  As she emerged from the shower, still conf
used, her phone rang. Securing the towel around her damp body she sat on the side of the bed to answer it. She glanced at the caller I.D. screen and sighed in relief. “Desi! Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine, but what about you? Why are you home? Things didn’t go well with Jayvyn?” She bit her lip. How much of the previous night’s events should she admit? Would it be wise to hint at her suspicions about what Jayvyn was without proof? “Not really, but he’s here now and I’m coming back with him so suspicions about what Jayvyn was without proof? “Not really, but he’s here now and I’m coming back with him so don’t worry.”

  “You’re sure?”

  If only she were. “Yes. I’ll see you soon. Okay?”

  “Yes.”

  She ended the call and dressed. When she went into the living room, Jayvyn was sprawled on a corner of the sofa with his eyes closed. She stood in the doorway staring at him. Her sofa was a very dark brown that looked black. He wore cream-colored shirt and dress pants. The contrast between his clothes and the sofa was striking.

  He looked so attractive she wanted to rush across the room to fling herself into his arms and onto his lap. Her gaze shifted to the clear outline of his semi-erect cock along one muscular thigh. The muscles in her stomach clenched recalling the feel of it sliding inside her the previous night.

  He hadn’t used protection. She sucked in a breath. Going anywhere with him was insane. What was to stop him from behaving exactly the same way he had the previous night once they were alone in his suite?

  His eyes snapped open and he rose

  He locked his gaze on hers. “I give you my word. It won’t happen again.” She looked away.

  He crossed the room to put an arm around her shoulders. “Don’t change your mind.” She leaned against him. “If you pin me to the bed again—”

  “I won’t.”

  “You promise?”

  He lifted up her chin to look down at her. “Absolutely. There won’t be any sex between us—unless you start something you want me to finish.”

  “I can’t forgive another lapse like that, Jayvyn.”

  “There won’t be another one.”

  “And if you think I’m going to stand around while you bed your bimbo, think again.”