Whiskey and Regret

by Danielle James

  Honestly, I wanted to get the hell away from Evander’s intensity. It had a way of working under my skin then pounding away at me until I paid it some attention.

  Since the guesthouse wasn’t completely done, I was still in the main house with Evander and Frankie. My room was two doors down from his and across from Frankie’s. I didn’t spend too much time decorating it because I didn’t know if I’d make it past the one-month trial.

  My clothes were hung neatly in the closet and the dresser was full of my perfumes and skin oils. My bags and shoes remained in their boxes until I was certain I’d be staying. Then I’d stock my closet accordingly.

  Since I knew Alexis hated me, I knew my outfit had to make her want to vomit. I was pretty good about killing her with my fashion game but today, I wanted to make it extra special.

  I stood in the modest walk-in closet and tapped my chin while surveying my options.

  Then it hit me.

  Alexis constantly called me nanny, so why not play the part? My style senses tingled as I flopped on the cushy bed and pulled up my Pinterest board full of Fran Drescher outfits.

  Don’t judge. She was a 90’s fashion icon.

  When I scrolled past Fran wearing a red turtleneck with a black and white checkerboard skirt, I gasped. That was it. I had a long-sleeved red shirt that wasn’t a turtleneck but it hugged my body and I had a black and white checkerboard skirt.

  Bingo, bitch.

  My red shirt showed midriff but it was cute as fuck and it hit the nail on the head. If Alexis wanted to call me nanny like it was my name, I was going to be the motherfucking nanny. I let my high puff down and spritzed my curls with rose water then I did my makeup and picked out a pair of chunky red Balenciaga heels that were sure to pull the rest of my outfit together.

  “Xari! Breakfast is ready!” Frankie called upstairs. I spritzed myself with Baccarat Rouge 540 then hurried down the steps.

  I fully expected to see Evander sitting at the breakfast table like he usually does when he’s home from work but he was nowhere to be found. My curiosity got the best of me.

  “Where’s your dad?”

  “He’s probably getting dressed.” Frankie shrugged her shoulders and handed me a plate of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and fresh fruit. I noticed she tried to give me the best-looking pancakes. I smiled a little and pulled her in for a squeeze.

  “This looks so good! You did an amazing job, Frankie.”

  “Thanks. I know the pancakes are ugly but…”

  “Girl…please shut up. I make ugly pancakes all the time. You’re hung up on the wrong thing.”

  “I know it’s stupid but it’s bothering me. Like…pancakes are the simplest things to make and I can’t figure out how to perfect them. I’m letting you know, if you hear me down here making pancakes at midnight, I’m trying to get them perfect.” Her brows were scrunched together and her nose crinkled with a determined frown.

  I knew that look…

  I stared at Frankie for an extra beat then sat down with my plate. She kept glancing toward the doorway with expectation in her brown eyes. Finally, I asked what she was waiting for.

  “I’m trying not to call Daddy down here. I want him to walk in and see the plate of food but he’s taking so damn long to get dressed.” She sat beside me and fidgeted in her seat. She didn’t want to touch her food until Evander sat with us. “You can eat, Xari. I’m just being extra.” She rested her chin on her fist and pushed her lips out.

  I popped a few pieces of fruit in my mouth while I scrolled my phone then I groaned. “I didn’t plug my phone in last night.” I showed her my red battery bar and she eyed me sympathetically. “I’ll be right back, okay?” She nodded then started scrolling on her phone.

  I dashed upstairs and went straight to Evander’s room. I knocked then turned the knob and walked in. “Xari, what the hell?” He frowned at me.

  My lips parted, ready to speak but my brain was locked onto Evander’s sculpted granite muscles hiding beneath the white undershirt molded to his pectorals.

  He was partially dressed. His button-up shirt hung open, showing me pieces of the tattoos on his chest. I was beyond curious about what other artwork he had. So curious that my palms itched to slide across his golden skin.

  The navy blue pants he wore hugged his strong legs just enough to let me know he didn’t miss leg day. His belt was simple, black, and understated but I knew it was expensive by the stitching. Right then it didn’t even matter how much the belt cost, it was the way Evander wore it. It was the way he wore everything.

  My mouth went dry as I stared at the pristine white shirt hanging open and the way his body flexed with each movement. He snapped his fingers at me, earning him an immediate frown.

  I found my words real quick.

  “Don’t snap at me,” I fussed. I looked behind me and realized his door was open. I pushed it closed so Frankie couldn’t hear me. The house was big enough but I was being cautious.

  “Why the hell did you just walk into my room?”

  “Because Frankie is downstairs refusing to eat until you come to the table. She’s super nervous about her pancakes and I wanted you to hurry your ass up before everything got cold and she pretends it’s fine that you didn’t sit and eat what she made.”

  Frankie had a habit of brushing things off that hurt her feelings. I watched her do it with her mother every day she was late picking her up from school and I watched her do it with Evander when he was too busy to look at something she was showing him or when he had to dart out on father-daughter time to answer a call. She was almost a master at it. I saw through it every time though. Usually, I didn’t call her out on it but I couldn’t stand to see that disappointed look on her face again. It fucked me up inside.

  Evander’s face turned solemn and he nodded. “Thank you for coming to grab me. I did get caught up in a phone call before I started getting dressed but…”

  “It’s cool.” I took a few steps toward him like I always did when we were alone for a second too long. I reached out and brushed something off his undershirt, letting my fingers slide over the cotton sheathed muscle.

  Damn, he was solid.

  His eyes dropped to my hand then he lifted them to mine.

  Heat.

  Flames.

  Whatever sort of too hot feeling it was, swept over me and danced in the inches between us. He had to feel that shit. It was almost palpable.

  I swallowed back the knot of desire in my throat and said, “You had something right there.” Being close to him like that, I could smell his cologne, his deodorant, the coffee he drank earlier.

  “Did I? This undershirt is new. What exactly did I have on it, Miss Lucas?”

  My thighs hummed when he called me by my last name.

  “I don’t know. I just…brushed it off for you.”

  The moment surrounding us felt familiar. It felt like the day in the foyer when we were centimeters away from kissing. The air was thick and the energy was suggestive.

  “What would I ever do without you, Miss Lucas?” Sarcasm dripped from the cocky smirk quirking the corners of his full lips up.

  He knew I wanted him and he was flaunting it right in my face.

  Was it bad that I didn’t even care?

  He was fine as hell. He could flaunt it if he wanted to. I wasn’t mad at all.

  “You keep calling Miss Lucas. Am I misbehaving?” I looked up at him then bit my bottom lip. He wasn’t the only one who knew how to flaunt. His eyes took a slow trip over my red-painted lips.

  “You are. You’ve been good all month. Don’t lose that streak.”

  “What happens if I do?” I quizzed, tapping my cheek.

  “Neither of us should find out.”

  A laugh popped out of my mouth that made him frown at me. I couldn’t help it. He had big dick energy but I knew better. Even if he was blessed, he more than likely had no idea what to do with it. I’d seen it happen so many times. It was a tragedy really.

  “Somet
hing funny?” He tipped his chin down a little and his gaze snared me.

  “Nothing,” I said softly.

  Neither of us spoke again. We let the silence inch in on us like murky water closing over our lips and creeping toward our noses. We stood still, facing each other. Determined not to budge.

  If I leaned in just a little, my lips would brush against his.

  Would his big hand crush the small of my back, pressing me against him? Would his morals sober him enough for him to shove me away?

  Would I get fired?

  I couldn’t afford that shit. I had to stop playing with fire. No matter how fun it was.

  I cleared my throat and took a few steps back. “Go downstairs,” I instructed him.

  “Yeah…that better had been your response.” His spine went straight and he strode past me. Indignation flared to life, hitting me hard like a bee sting on the forehead.

  “Excuse the fuck out of me, Evander Freeman? Are you a playground bully now or something?”

  “Maybe.” I watched his broad back sway to a silent drumbeat as he went downstairs. I wanted to run down the steps on his heels and curse him out but once again, I was trying to act like I had some damn sense.

  I stormed into my room with a thumping heart and a pulsing clit. I wanted a few minutes to rub one out before I had to be a presentable human being. I knew I didn’t have time for that because if Frankie wanted her dad there eating her food, then she wanted me there too. She did give me all the perfectly round pancakes.

  I looked at myself in the mirror after plugging my phone in and ran my palms over my waist and hips.

  Don’t let darling dick get under your skin, Xari.

  “Okay, so we’re eating now.” I sat down and rubbed my hands together, ready to dig in. I stole a glance at Frankie’s face and she was beaming. That’s the look I loved seeing. She was glowing. I reached over and squeezed her hand as I finished the pancakes on my plate.

  “They’re so good, Frank.”

  “Are they?” Her shoulders dropped like the expectations were so heavy.

  “They are phenomenal, Frankie,” Evander chimed in.

  “Thanks, guys.” She paused. “Hey, Daddy do you think Mom wants a plate?” She was already up and on her feet.

  “I’m sure she’d love a plate,” Evander smiled. I kept my words locked behind clenched teeth.

  Alexis didn’t deserve all the love Frankie poured into her. Maybe that was harsh but I hated how secondary she made her daughter feel. If Frankie were my kid, I’d be there for her whenever she needed it.

  Hell, Evander wasn’t the world’s best father because he was busy at work most of the time but he made sure he saw Frankie every day. He had conversations with her. He listened. He was open and honest with her about everything. I couldn’t say the same for Alexis.

  When the doorbell rang followed by incessant knocking, I knew filter face had arrived. I wondered if she had her injections touched up or did that only happen every six months?

  “I’ll get it,” I sang, hopping up with an extra bounce in my step. Evander was hot on my heels and I knew he would be.

  “Xari, let me open the door.”

  “Why? Aren’t I the help? Shouldn’t I be the first person she sees?” He wrapped his strong fingers around my bicep and squeezed.

  “Move,” he said in a low tone. I ignored him and pulled free, making my way to the foyer.

  Ding dong!

  Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

  Evander pushed me against the wall in the foyer, pinning me beneath his hulking tall frame. My clit throbbed and my nipples tightened. I’d never been so close to him.

  Not where our bodies touched and I felt his heat. This was new. This was heady and full.

  My arms wanted to be draped around his neck. My legs wanted to constrict his waist. My tongue wanted his mouth.

  “I said move. I don’t need y’all going at it in front of Frankie. Got it?”

  “Fine,” I gritted out, pushing against him as much as I could. I knew my one hundred and six-pound body couldn’t budge his. A smirk popped to life in his eyes but it never reached his lips.

  Ding dong!

  Knock. Knock. Knock.

  “Kitchen.” He let me move and I threw a mental tantrum on my way back.

  “Everything okay?” Frankie quizzed, taking in my fuming expression and tightly drawn features. “Mom didn’t say something to you, did she?”

  “No, everything is fine,” I assured her, sitting at the island. She watched me for a few more seconds before nodding and setting a breakfast plate at the table for her mother.

  “Francesca!” Alexis smiled and held out her arms for Frankie. “Why aren’t you ready to go? Where is your stuff?”

  “Mom, look. I made you some breakfast. Come on, sit down for a minute.”

  “Please, sit, Alexis. You did say you’d talk with all three of us.” Evander walked into the kitchen buttoning his shirt up. I didn’t miss the way Alexis’s hungry brown eyes ate him up.

  He was a damn snack though.

  “You can’t cover yourself while Frankie’s here?” She barked at him. Her demeanor turned from warm and open to ice and closed off.

  “I’m fully clothed,” he answered.

  “Sure you are. What did you just get finished doing, Van?”

  “Eating breakfast.”

  Alexis shot daggers at Evander while Frankie stood with a plate in her hand, waiting for her mother to stop railing into her father.

  “Looks like you just got finished fucking the nanny. She’s dressed for the part. You let all your employees wear shit like that?”

  “Mom, can you not?” Frankie almost whispered, holding her head down. The only thing that stopped me from firing back at Alexis was the embarrassed look on Frankie’s face. I didn’t want to add insult to injury, so I forced a tight grin on my face.

  “What?” Alexis turned to face her daughter. “I don’t want her around you when she’s dressed like a bum off the street.”

  “You know damn well I’m not dressed like a bum off the street,” I scoffed. “I mean seriously. A bum could never.”

  “Can you please eat breakfast and just talk?” Frankie begged her mother.

  “Have a seat, Alexis. You’re not going to come in here and ruin everything. I’m not letting you get out of this conversation.” I didn’t notice Evander had the forms from Frankie’s school until he sat them on the island.

  “I don’t have as much time as I thought. We gotta go. Come on baby, put that food down.” She glanced at the plate and frowned, “I’m not eating that. It looks like the incompetent nanny made that shit.” Shock swept Alexis’s face when Frankie set the plate down and rushed upstairs in tears.

  “Alexis, so help me god… If you don’t sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up we’re going to have problems your lawyer can’t get you out of.” Evander’s voice was low and angry. I wasn’t used to hearing him lose his cool like that.

  “What…what happened? Did I miss something?” Alexis stammered.

  “I said sit down! I’m tired of dealing with your childish ass. Now I have to go play peacemaker and try to fix the damage you’ve done to our child.”

  “Hey, I’ll go,” I said softly, placing my hand between Evander’s shoulder blades. His body relaxed beneath my touch and it made my chest squeeze. I had that effect on him. As much as I annoyed him, he relaxed when I touched him.

  “You sure?” His eyes turned kind when he stared at me.

  “Yeah. You stay here and talk.” My eyes darted to Alexis. She was fuming.

  I didn’t have time to swipe at her the way I wanted. Instead, I went upstairs to Frankie’s room. I walked over and leaned against the closet doorway, watching while she tossed things in a bag to go over her mother’s house.

  “You taking some new stuff over there?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” Her answer was clipped.

  “You seemed pretty upset when you left the kitchen. Are you okay, Frankie
?”

  “I’m fine.” Her flat tone said otherwise.

  “So, what should I do if I don’t believe you? I don’t want to be pushy but I know you. Something is up.” She stopped putting clothes in her bag and turned to face me. Her eyes were red and her lashes were spiky and wet. My stomach sank. “Come here,” I said, holding my arms out for a hug. When she didn’t resist, I let out a relieved breath.

  “I just wanted her to sit and eat and talk. Just to be normal for a few minutes and she always messes everything up because she’s so angry with Dad.” I stroked her hair and listened to her vent. She didn’t need me to fix it. “I want them to get along. I know Daddy tries but he still argues with her. She has this way of wrapping people up and making them angry like her.”

  I wanted to tell her that type of person was called a vampire, but I didn’t want to say anything bad about her mother. “I don’t even want to go to her house now. I just want to stay home with you and Dad.”

  “Hey, you know your mom loves you. I’m sure once you talk to her about things she’ll come around.” She wrapped her arms tighter around my waist then nodded. Her soft, fluffy hair brushed against the side of my face.

  “I’m still pissed at her for not signing those papers. She can’t even come get me when she’s supposed to. I don’t know what the big deal is.”

  “Me either, girl.”

  “She probably thinks you like Daddy, which is cringe-worthy.” She pulled away from me and shuddered at the thought of me and her father. The tops of my cheeks grew hot knowing how bad I wanted to fuck Evander. Knowing how close I came to kissing him again.

  “Very cringe-worthy,” I chuckled, wiping stray tears from her soft cheeks.

  “Seriously, Xari. Promise me you’ll never ever mess around with Dad. I see the way every woman in the world looks at him. I hate hearing people call him the single senator. We’re best friends, right?” She asked, zipping her bag up.

  “Um, hell yes we’re best friends. What have we been doing all month? I thought this was already established.”

  “We are!” She smiled. “Okay so promise me you won’t be like every other woman in the world and go all crazy over my father.”

  “I promise,” I said, placing my hand over my heart. Even if I did fuck Evander, I knew going crazy was out of the question. I’d never get sprung over mediocre dick.