by McCoy, SJ
She paced back to the mirror in the hallway, with Ollie at her heels. Last night she'd wished she was someone else, and now, with her hair falling loose around her shoulders, wearing this get-up, she looked like someone else. Someone who might just invite Michael to come inside with her. But that really was silly. He couldn't, even if he wanted to. He had to get home for Ethan. She shook her head at Ollie. “What was I thinking, Ollie-bug. This isn't me, is it? I'm going to get my jeans back on.”
Ollie barked once and wagged around her legs.
She stroked him. “Yes, I am, boy. I can play dress-up and dream, but this isn't me.”
Ollie ran to the front door and started pawing and whining just before she heard the knock. Oh no! Michael was here already? It could only be him. She looked up the stairs. Did she have time to run? He knocked again. Apparently not. She took a deep breath.
Never in her life had a man looked at her the way Michael did when she opened the door. His eyes were big as he slowly looked her over. He may as well be running his hands over her. She could feel his gaze caress her skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. His dimple sat next to a very satisfied smile.
“Wow, Meggie! Just...wow! I knew you were hiding a hot little self, but....damn!”
“I....I....I....” Perfect! The stutter didn't exactly match the outfit, did it?!
He stepped towards her and she froze. Now she couldn't even breathe, let alone speak. His arms came around her. She instinctively reached her own arms up around his neck—who knew she had those kinds of instincts? This time, when her breasts pushed against his chest, all of her senses were heightened. She could feel the roughness of his denim shirt through the thin fabric of her dress. She could feel how hard he was as he pulled her hips against his. Oh God! Now she could feel both of his huge hands cupping her backside as his mouth came down on hers. She closed her eyes and gave herself up to all these new and wonderful feelings—his lips on hers, his tongue mating with her own, how every part of her felt so hot, especially the part trapped between those big hands and that big... hard....She felt herself moan as he backed her against the wall in the hallway and closed the front door with his foot. She rubbed her hips against his and moaned with pleasure as he thrust against her. Then she moaned in dismay as he lifted his head and stepped away. He leaned back against the other wall so they stood facing each other in the narrow hallway.
“Damn, little one. We'd better go.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
His face looked pained. “No, darl'. You couldn't do anything more right. Which is why we need to get out of here. Otherwise I won't be able to stop myself from doing something very wrong.” He looked up the stairs, then back at her with that pained look.
“Why would it be wrong? I think I would like to do it.”
He covered his face with his hand and peeked out between his fingers. “Jesus, Meggie! How can you look like that and be so sweet and innocent?”
This was confusing. Was he saying he wanted to? Or that he didn't want to? She didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything. For the first time, she dared to look straight into his eyes and she pleaded with him that way, hoping he'd explain.
He wrapped her in his arms again. This time it was a safe hug, a coming home hug. She relaxed a little as she breathed him in. He rested his chin on top of her head. “It wouldn't be wrong. It could never be wrong between you and me, little one. It would just be too soon, and too short.”
She looked up at him.
“I've only got a couple of hours till I need to be home for my boy. When I do take you to bed, it'll be to spend the whole night with you.” He hugged her closer. “You're not a quickie kind of girl. We're going to take our time. Then I want to hold you all night, sleep with you in my arms, and wake up to your beautiful face.”
Megan squeezed her arms tightly around his waist. Never in her whole life would she have thought that a man would ever talk to her like that. Certainly not such a handsome, charming, wonderful man as Michael. She knew without a doubt though, that he meant it. She knew it from the way he was holding her, the way he was looking down at her. His gorgeous green eyes that usually held such mischief, now held a truth and an honesty as undeniable as the feel of his hard body. “I would like that, Michael. I would like that a lot.”
He brushed his lips over hers and smiled. “Will, Meggie, not would. You will like it, a hell of a lot. I'm going to make sure of it.”
She smiled. “Promises, promises.”
He laughed. “Yep. It's a promise, darl'. And I don't break my promises.” He pushed his hips against hers making her gasp again as their bodies made promises of their own.
He let her go and winked. “Come on, we need to get out of here.”
***
Michael looked across at her as he drove. He couldn't quite believe just how much she'd been hiding inside those sweatshirts. Not only did she have the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen, she also had the hottest little body! No question about it. He made himself focus on the road. He'd already figured out that he would have to wait until next Saturday night to keep his promise. It was going to be a long week. He already knew it was going to be a frustrating week, filled with thoughts about how she would look and feel when he could get her out of her clothes and into bed. That little white number she was wearing was working all kinds of crazy on him. The way it was all elasticized around the middle only emphasized how tiny her waist was—and the fact that there was no bra restraining her amazing breasts. He needed to feel them, to taste them. He needed to make her moan like she had in the hallway. Damn! He shifted in his seat. It was going to be one hell of a long week! He shook his head. Here he was fantasizing and she was sitting right beside him. He needed to get to somewhere they could park. Looking at the road was too hard when he needed to be looking at her. Hell, he was too hard.
“Come sit by me?” She slid across the bench seat until their sides were touching. He wrapped his arm around her with a grin. He loved this old car! And driving like this was giving him a great idea. “Did you ever do this in high school?”
“Do what?”
“Go out for a drive with your boyfriend because you couldn't do what you wanted to at home?”
There was a sad little frown on her face. “I never had a boyfriend in high school. I told you, I never really had much fun. I would never have been allowed to go out with a boy in his car.”
He grinned. That was what he'd thought. “So how about we make up for your lost youth?”
She looked up at him. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I want to take you out in the country, find some place to park.”
Her eyes were huge as she looked up at him. “Do you mean....?”
He grinned down at her. “I do, little one. I can't concentrate on driving with you looking like that. And it bothers me that you missed out on so much fun as a kid. Fun is my specialty and I reckon we can more than make up for what you missed.”
There was that naughty, guilty little smile he loved so much. She didn't say anything, but she didn't need to. That smile said it all.
It had been a long time since he'd driven the back roads around Summer Lake, but he knew exactly where he was going. He turned the car through a gateway and followed a rutted dirt track down to the river. No one ever used to come down here, and he doubted that had changed over the years. The fields rolled away on one side and on the other the river opened up, flowing slowly past a long narrow beach. He cut the engine and smiled down at her. “What do you reckon?”
The smile was gone. She looked nervous now. “I...I...I don't know.”
What was he thinking? She was ten years too old for this shit! And he had five years on that. He should be wining and dining her, not driving her out here and making her stutter! Gabe would never do something like this. Gabe had class, while he was just proving what a no-class joker he was. He pulled her closer against his side. “I'm sorry, darl'. This was a bad idea. Do you want to go for a walk?”
“Okay.”
She looked as if she wanted to say something else, but she pulled away from him and slid back across the seat to let herself out the passenger door. He got out himself and came around to take her hand.
She smiled up at him. “Thank you, Michael. I don't know why you said this was a bad idea. This is wonderful for me. I always wondered what it would be like to be the girl who got to drive away with the hot guy in his car. Today I get to do it, with you.”
She was absolutely genuine. He hadn't thought women like her really existed. Yet here she was, sweet as could be, hotter than hell, and totally into him! “Not just today, Meggie. You get to do this whenever you want. Well, whenever we can. This weekend has been different with Ethan gone, but he stays with my folks sometimes, and at Missy's with Scot. I'd like to keep seeing you when we can. If you want to?”
She stopped walking and looked up at him. That sad little frown was back. He felt himself go cold. She wasn't about to say no, was she?
“I would love to, but I don't understand.”
“What don't you understand?”
“Why you would want to see me. I'm just boring old Megan. I'm not good around people, I'm too shy. I'm no fun. I'm not even very good at talking. Even when I can make words come out, they're not very interesting ones. You, on the other hand, are funny and popular and charming and...” She looked away and kicked the tip of one of her cute little cowboy boots into the gravel.
“Don't forget hot,” he added for her.
She shook her head and smiled up at him. “And confident too! Why would a guy like you want to spend time with me?”
“Because, little one, from the very first moment I saw you, I saw a little lady I wanted to get to know. You're beautiful, but you try to hide it. You are fun, and you are funny, but you try to hide that too. You're shy, but there's nothing weak about you. It sounds like you've been through a lot so you don't laugh much, but when you do laugh you just, I don't know, Meggie. All I know is that in the space of this weekend you've grabbed a hold of me in a way no woman ever has—and I don't want you to let go. I want to have fun with this, see where we can take it.”
She might try to hide her body and her beauty, but she made no attempt to hide how much his words meant to her. He was a little surprised how much they meant to him.
“I don't understand why you like me, but I'm very glad you do.”
He tugged her hand so she came closer. Her huge smile was answering the question, but he needed to ask it anyway.
“And you like me too, don't you, Meggie?”
She nodded. “I do. I don't think I'll be very good at liking you because I haven't had much practice. But I would love to keep seeing you, and maybe you can teach me how it all works?”
He clamped his jaw shut to stop himself from making a crude joke. She didn't need that, she was so earnest. He could just bite it back, and silently look forward to teaching her all kinds of things.
“We can figure it out together. You can teach me what you like, what makes you feel uncomfortable and what makes you relax.”
He was starting to feel pretty uncomfortable himself, at least the throbbing ache in his pants was, thinking of all the ways he knew he could make her relax. He drew her closer and closed his arms around her. She felt so good, pressed up close against his chest, her little arms wrapped around his waist. He could feel her start to laugh.
He grinned. “What's tickling you?”
“Just thinking that I can't help but relax when you hug me. It feels good, but I certainly don't know what to say when I'm face to face with your chest like this.”
He winked down at her. “I don't think I'd have much to say either, if the roles were reversed. It's not fair that you get to bury your face in my boobs.”
Her cheeks were pink, but she was still laughing. “You have a big, hard, man chest, you don't have boobs.”
“Yeah, but you do.” And he couldn't wait to bury his face in them. “Which is why we need to start walking.” He let her go but grabbed her hand and led her down the path to the river. For now, he wanted to enjoy her company, get to know her better as a person. Getting to know her body would come, but he was surprised to realize how far down his priority list that was. It was more important to keep her laughing, get her talking, just spend time with her.
She smiled up at him as they walked, but didn't say anything.
“So, you want to tell me anything more about the mystery that is Meggie, or is that too uncomfortable?”
“It's not so much that it's uncomfortable as I don't see why you would want to know. There's not much to tell, and what there is isn't very interesting.”
Why was she so down on herself? He didn't get it. “How about you tell me, and let me be the judge of how interesting it is?”
“Okay, what do you want to know?”
“I want to know everything there is to know.”
She shook her head. “No, you have to ask questions. I wouldn't know where to start.”
He thought about it for a minute as they followed the path under the trees that overhung the water. “It might not be anywhere you want to go, but why do you hide?”
“I don't hide. I just don't go out much.”
He laughed. “You must have been hiding if you've been here the whole time I've been back and I never saw you till Friday, but that's not what I meant. You're beautiful, but you hide yourself away inside big sweatshirts....”
“Do you like this dress? I didn't want to hide from you today.”
“I'm glad. I love your dress. You look great in it, and I know you'll look even better out of it.”
There went that little smile again.
“But Meggie, when was the last time you wore it?”
She pursed her lips and looked away. He kept walking and waited to see if she would answer.
Eventually she looked up at him. “Not since I bought it. I've never worn it, because you're right, I do hide. I don't like people to notice me. I don't feel safe when people can see me, so I wear what I wear and it makes me invisible. For some reason, you already noticed me, and with you I do feel safe, and so I wanted you to see me. For some even stranger reason you seem to like me, and I want to live up to that because I like you too.”
Wow! That was the most she'd ever said to him in one go. “It's not strange that I should notice you or that I would like you. You're a beautiful woman. And there's nothing to 'live up to.' I do love this dress, the way you look in it, but if you're happier in your jeans and sweatshirts, you wear them, little one. It's not about what you're wearing, it's about who you are.”
She smiled up at him and he couldn't resist adding, “And besides, no matter what you wear, we both know I'm going to be taking it off you before too long.”
She laughed. “I suppose we do, don't we. I'm looking forward to that.”
She straight up meant it, too. She wasn't teasing or playing with him, she was just telling the truth. “Not as much as I am. But I still want to know, why do you hide? Why don't you want anyone to notice you? And why don't you feel safe?” That part bothered him.
The sad little frown was back. Maybe he was asking for too much too soon, but he wanted to know. He couldn't understand why such a bright and beautiful woman wouldn't want to be noticed. She mulled it over as they walked. He was learning that he had to give her time to think things through before she answered.
“Well, you answered your first question with your second. I hide because I don't want to be noticed. I don't want to be noticed for a number of reasons, all of which have to do with not feeling safe. On the basic level, when people notice you they talk to you, and then you have to talk back.” She shrugged. “You already know how hard that is for me. It's safer not to do that, so I don't have to embarrass myself. Then there's the really scary stuff.” She looked up at him. “I never talk about this, but apparently I really do feel safe with you, so I'll tell you. Just don't say a word until I've finished, okay?”
M
ichael nodded. He had no idea where she was going with this, but it was obvious she was about to share something that was important to her. He was determined to keep his trap shut until she was done. “I promise.”
“I don't feel safe because the only people who ever noticed me weren't very nice. Growing up I was the quiet bookworm, you know, the nerdy girl? No one noticed me and everything was fine. When these things....” She looked down at her impressive breasts. “...started growing, boys started to notice me, even though they never had before. It made the popular girls hate me and I got bullied. A lot. I was used to being able to hide behind Kenzie. She really is beautiful. Her boyfriend liked these things and he tried to....Well, you can imagine. I got away from him, and I told her. But it hurt her. So I learned to hide. Does that make sense to you?” She looked up at him now, met his gaze pleadingly, seemingly begging for understanding.
“It does. It makes all kinds of sense. It makes me sad for you, but I get it.”
Her face relaxed, and she surprised him by stopping and tugging on his hand. When he stopped she reached her arms up around his neck and, pressing every inch of herself against him, she kissed him. He didn't waste a second in clamping her sweet little body against his own. He caught a fistful of hair and pulled her head back, taking charge of the kiss, exploring her mouth as he pinned her to him. Everything about her begged him for more, her hands in his hair, her hungry kiss, her hips rubbing against his. It was a long time before he lifted his head, and by the time he did he understood something.
“You're tired of hiding aren't you, little one?”
She rested her head against his chest and said nothing for a while. He waited. He was learning her ways.
“I didn't think so, and I don't know if it's just with you, but yes, I am. I thought coming to Summer Lake was hiding, hiding from the real world. But I'm starting to love this place and starting to believe that maybe here I don't need to hide. That maybe this is the place where I can do what I want to.”
“What is it you want to do?”