Laugh Like You've Never Cried (Summer Lake 5)

by McCoy, SJ

  “What don't you like? He's wonderful Kenzie. He's funny and charming and he can be so sweet too.”

  “And he has a son who is, what? Ten? I doubt he will want more kids now and we both know you do. It sounds like you're making changes, and I'm happy for you. You're starting to care about clothes and friends. I don't want to see you get stuck with the first guy you meet if he's not right for you.”

  “He is right for me, Kenzie. I think I'm falling in love with him!” Megan gasped. It was true. She was. Her heart was racing. Maybe it was almost true. She wasn't falling in love with him—she already had.

  “Don't be silly, Megan. You're getting carried away. You only met the guy a few weeks ago.”

  Of course Kenzie wouldn't understand. She didn't believe in love, any more than she believed in God, or Jesus, or the tooth fairy. “I'm not. I'm telling you how I feel and asking you to be happy for me. I'm telling you I don't want to come to Nashville, because I love Michael and I love Ethan and I love my life here. I'm just worried about you, and you know I will drop everything and come there if you need me.”

  “You don't have to come to Nashville. Calm down, okay? I'll be fine. I always land on my feet. You know that. I don't want to mess up your happy little life. I just don't want to see you get yourself into a bad situation again. You keep doing your thing, but be careful. That's all. I worry about you.”

  Megan felt bad about her outburst now. “I worry about you too, Kenz. Why don't you come for a visit like we said?”

  There went that forced laugh again. “I can't afford to, Megan. That's why.”

  “I'll send you the money then.”

  “No. Don't do that.”

  “But I want to. I want you to come. I want you to see this place, meet Michael, meet my friends and stop worrying about me. Maybe you'll like it and want to stay too.”

  “I don't think so.”

  “What if I say I miss you, and I want to see you. Will you do it then?”

  “You know my weak spot, don't you? I miss you too.”

  “Good. I'll send you the money then.”

  “Thanks. But Megan, when I come I'm going to be figuring out this Michael guy. No matter how much you think you like him, you want kids. You've always wanted kids. Think about that.”

  Megan did. It was true. She didn't even know if Michael felt the same way about her. She thought he might. But he wasn't sure about letting her get close to Ethan, and she wasn't at all sure that she would ever truly be happy if she couldn't have children of her own. “Okay.”

  “I have to go. I'll let you know what I can do about getting out to see you.”

  “Okay. We'll talk soon.”

  Megan hung up and watched Ollie scrabbling in the leaves. Perhaps Kenzie was right? And if she was, perhaps she should go to Nashville.

  ***

  Megan parked in the square at the resort and walked over to the restaurant. She was tired. She hadn't slept well at all. She'd tossed and turned all night. Her mind had been racing with thoughts of Kenzie and Michael. When she had managed to fall asleep, she'd dreamed about Adrian and had woken up crying. He'd told her she was too stupid to be a mother, that she was so clumsy she'd probably drop her own baby.

  Walking the beach with Ollie early this morning, she'd decided she needed to talk to Michael before she went over there. She might have to go to her sister. The fact that Kenzie had admitted that she couldn't afford to visit spoke volumes. Normally, she never admitted to being broke, and she'd been in some dire circumstances over the years. No matter what Megan might want for herself, her sister had to come first.

  Missy waved from a table in the corner. She'd called Megan earlier. Her son, Scot, was off doing something with Dan, and Missy had invited her to come out for breakfast, just the two of them. Megan waved back and made her way over. She didn't want to leave this place, leave Missy and all her new friends. Most of all she really didn't want to leave Michael and Ethan.

  “Good morning, hon. I'm glad you came.”

  “Hi.”

  “Oh no! What's the matter, Megan?”

  Was it that obvious? She sat down and heaved a big sigh. “I don't know where to start.”

  “Try the beginning. That usually works.”

  She gave Missy a weak smile. “This might be the end, not the beginning. I know my sister isn't doing too well in Nashville. I feel like I should move there to help her out. I don't want to leave here, but if I stay, I don't know if Michael wants me. I don't want to hurt Ethan and I want children of my own.”

  Missy wrinkled her nose and stared at her. “I'm sure that all makes sense in your head, but you're going to have to help me out. Do you want to rewind to hello and explain this to me in words of one syllable or less? I can be slow to catch on sometimes.”

  That made Megan smile. Missy wasn't slow at anything. “Sorry. I'm supposed to be spending the rest of the weekend with Michael and Ethan. Michael is cautious about it all because he doesn't want Ethan to get hurt. I’m cautious about it because I don't either. And, I might have to move to Nashville because I don't think my sister can afford to live by herself. I want to stay here, but that's all tied up in being with Michael. I don't know if he wants to be with me long term, but even if he does, I want kids and I doubt he does.”

  “Okay. That's a bit clearer. I think. What did Michael have to say about Nashville?”

  Megan sighed. “Nothing. Because I haven't told him.”

  “I see. Well, hon, it sounds to me like you need to talk to him—about Nashville, about where the two of you might be headed, and about babies.”

  Megan decided to be brave. “I know it's none of my business, but you've brought Scot up by yourself, just like Michael with Ethan. Was it hard for you to let Dan into your lives? And, sorry to be nosey, but would you ever consider having more kids?”

  “It was a bit different with me and Dan. You see, he and Scot had gotten really close. I didn't want to go out with Dan in the beginning because I was scared that if we broke up it would end their friendship. And it's probably not what you want to hear, but I didn't think I would ever get together with Dan for the long term because I thought he would want kids of his own and I don't want any more.”

  Megan nodded sadly. Michael probably wouldn't want to be with her either. He did like her, she knew that, but even if he loved her, having children together wasn't something either of them should compromise on.

  Missy touched her arm. “You need to talk to him about it. Let him know what you're thinking, find out where he stands.

  ***

  “What time is Megan coming, Dad?”

  Michael frowned. Ethan hadn't stopped talking about her all week. He'd interrogated his dad about the night he hadn't come home. He had pestered him to have her over for dinner on Thursday, and he'd made his disappointment abundantly clear when Michael told him she was only going to stay Saturday night, not for the whole weekend. Michael had been disappointed at that himself, but he'd understood, and appreciated that she didn't want to monopolize all his time.

  “Well? What time?”

  He smiled. “Soon enough. I've told you a squillion times, she said she'd come over after lunch.”

  Ethan grinned. “How many millions of times do I have to tell you not to exaggerate, Dad? It was only half a squillion! Can we call her now and see?”

  Michael shook his head. “She'll come when she's ready.”

  The doorbell rang and Ethan shot out of his seat to go and open the door.

  “Oh. Hi Uncle Ben, what do you want?”

  Michael chuckled to himself. Ethan was rarely rude, but he sounded as if Ben were a door-to-door salesman, when he'd been hoping for a special delivery parcel.

  “Hey Ethan! Nice to see you too, bud.”

  “Oh, sorry. Come on in. It's just that I thought you were going to be Megan.”

  He led Ben into the kitchen, then sat back down and slumped his head and shoulders on the table as he heaved a big sigh.

  Ben grinne
d at Michael. “I take it you're not the only one who's got it bad?”

  Michael nodded and jerked his head towards the back door. “Yeah, want to come out back with me and we'll leave this guy to pine till she gets here?”

  Ben nodded and followed him out. Ethan stayed slouched across the table, huffing his impatience.

  Once Michael closed the door, Ben laughed. “Wow, my little buddy must be quite taken with her.”

  Michael nodded. “He is. I am. We are.”

  Ben raised an eyebrow. “So what's the problem?”

  “I don't want him to get hurt. Not after everything he's been through already.”

  “You really think Megan would hurt him?”

  “Not intentionally, no. But she's got issues of her own, mate. I don't know if she's ready, or even capable of stepping into a family life. I don't want the two of them getting too close, unless she's ready to give him what he needs. I told you, he needs a mum. I want to be with her, but I don't know if it would be right. I love them both too much to screw either of them over by getting us all into something that's not going to work out.

  Ben was staring at him with a big grin on his face.

  “What?”

  “You said you love them both?”

  Michael nodded. “Yep. I'm saying I love her. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, and it's true.” He said it one more time, because it felt so good to say it out loud. “I love her.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “That's the part I'm still trying to figure out. She should be here any time now, and she's staying the night. I'm hoping we'll get chance to talk, be up front with each other and see what we can do.”

  Ben nodded. “I'll get out of your hair then. I just wanted to stop by because I knew you wouldn't be over to the resort this weekend.”

  “Thanks, mate.”

  ***

  Megan parked in the long driveway. Michael's house was so very different from the one she lived in. While hers was a little run-down place on the edge of town, his was one of the big beautiful homes on Main Street. She shuddered as she thought that it highlighted the differences between them. He'd grown up here, in this very house, a charming setting for a charmed childhood. She, on the other hand, had moved from town to town. Her little house was nicer than most of the places where she'd lived before—except Adrian's house. That had been beautiful from the outside, but for her it had been more like a house of horror on the inside.

  Ollie nudged her shoulder with his head, bringing her back to the moment. Michael's house was as warm and inviting as he was. She needed to get inside as soon as she could. She needed to talk to him. “Come on then, Ollie-bug. Let's go do this. Do you want to see Ethan?”

  He gave two short sharp barks and jumped out of the car as soon as she opened the door.

  “Ollie!” Ethan came running down the driveway. Ollie put his paws on the boy's shoulders and licked his face which had Ethan giggling. Soon they were rolling in the grass together.

  Michael appeared from around the back of the house, followed by Ben.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey, you.”

  “It's hi and bye for me,” said Ben with a smile.”

  “You're not leaving because of me, are you?” she asked.

  “No, I just dropped by for a quick visit.”

  “Yeah, he is.” Michael came and curled his arm around her waist. “I told him he had to get out of here once my little lady arrived. Our weekend already got cut short and we need to get as much family time in as we can.”

  Megan didn't know what to say. Family time?

  Ben grinned at her. “Well if you all want to come by tomorrow for a family breakfast, or a family lunch, it's on me. I'd love to see you.”

  Michael grasped his shoulder. “Thanks, mate.”

  Ben stopped to say goodbye to Ethan and Ollie who were still wrestling on the lawn. Megan smiled as Ethan jumped up to give him a hug and Ollie offered him a paw to shake. It seemed she wasn't the only one who was doing better at being around people.

  After hugging Ben, Ethan came running to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Finally! I thought you were never coming.”

  She hugged him back. “I'm here now. That's what counts isn't it?”

  Keeping his arms tightly around her waist he smiled up at her. “I suppose. You are going to stay, right? Ollie's going to sleep with me isn't he?”

  She nodded. “As long as your dad says it's okay?”

  Michael winked at her. “Yep. We're going to do what we said. Ollie can share with you, and Megan can share with me.”

  Ethan grinned at them. “Great! We're going to play frisbee then.” He ran off around the back of the house, with Ollie barking and wagging at his heels as he went.

  Michael curled his arm around her waist and drew her to him. She reached up around his neck and planted a kiss on his lips. There was no mischief in his eyes today. His smile was full of questions.

  “Want to come sit out back so we can keep an eye on our boys?”

  She nodded and held his hand as they followed Ethan and Ollie.

  Once they were settled at the table out on the deck, Michael reached across and took her hand. “Is this going too fast for you, Meggie?”

  She shook her head. “What do you mean?”

  “I think you know what I mean. I'm not the only one who wants you all the time.” He looked down to where Ethan and Ollie were playing on the beach. Ollie had gotten hold of one of the old mooring lines and they were playing tug-of-war. “The little guy does too.”

  “I know. That's what I'm afraid of.”

  She couldn't believe how rapidly his dimple disappeared. He looked even more disappointed than he had that first night they'd met, when she'd told him he couldn't walk her home.

  “I'm sorry, darl'.”

  She squeezed his hand. “I don't mean I'm afraid of him wanting to spend time with me. I love it.” She hesitated, then decided to say it. “I love him. What I mean is, I'm afraid of letting him down. I don't want to get too close to him and then hurt him if I have to leave. Honestly Michael, it would break my heart to have to leave him now.”

  “Why would you have to leave?”

  “I...I...I...” Oh for goodness' sake! Why did she keep doing that? “Kenzie. My sister. I think she's struggling. If she can't get by on her own, then I'll have to move to Nashville.”

  Michael just stared at her. She had no clue what he might be thinking.

  ***

  Michael's heart was pounding in his chest as he tried to process what she'd just said. He couldn't make make sense of it. She loved Ethan? But she might be leaving the lake? To live in Nashville? “So what are you telling me, Meggie?”

  “You asked if this was going too fast. I'm trying to tell you how it is for me. I love every moment I spend with you, and with Ethan. I would like to see what might happen between us. But I don't know if I'm going to be able to stay here. I don't want to let Ethan down, because I love him.” She wrapped her little hands around both of his own. Her eyes glimmered green and gold as she met his gaze. “And I don't want to let you down, because I love you.”

  If his heart had been pounding before, it felt like it might explode now. Had she just said what he thought she had?

  Her face colored up and she let go of his hands. “I...I...I'm sorry. It was stupid of me to tell you.” She looked devastated, but unapologetic. “I can't take it back, because it's true. Should I go now?” She was getting up.

  Michael's brain finally got past the shock. He jumped up himself and wrapped his arms around her. “You're not going anywhere, little one.” He couldn't help it. He scooped her up. Her arms automatically reached around his neck, clinging to him as she stared up at him.

  “What are you doing, Michael?”

  “I'm hanging on to you, Meggie. I can't let you go.”

  “But I just messed everything up by telling you that.”

  “No. I messed up by not telling you yet
, that I love you. I don't know what we're going to do about it, but we're going to do something.”

  Her eyes were wide, her cheeks were pink, and her smile was as huge as he'd ever seen it. “You love me?”

  He chuckled. “I do. I think I've loved you since the first time I saw you. We've got some obstacles to overcome. But whatever happens, I love you, Meggie.”

  “I love you, Michael.”

  He carried her over to one of the rockers and sat down, still holding her close to his chest. Her arms tightened around his neck as he covered her mouth with his own. He loved the way she felt in his arms, loved the way she kissed him back so eagerly, so hungrily. He'd been concerned she might not be ready to love after all she'd been through. Yet, she'd had the balls to tell him first, had trusted him enough to be honest. It made him love her even more.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Michael opened his eyes and smiled. Megan had her head on his chest, her arm around his middle. She was still fast asleep. He stroked her hair away from her face. She was so beautiful. She felt so right—in his arms, in his bed, in his life. She seemed timid in some ways, but she'd been brave enough to tell him that she loved him. She loved Ethan too, and she cared about not hurting him. That made him frown. She couldn't leave. Surely her sister could take care of herself?

  Thinking about it, he understood and admired Megan's loyalty. She'd told him that her sister had helped her out, helped her escape from that dirty old bastard, Adrian. Michael couldn't think about him without getting angry. He didn't know all the details of what he'd done to her—wasn't sure he could handle it if he did—but it had registered with him that maybe she was starting to get over it. Yesterday, after she'd told him she loved him, then stood up to leave, he'd grabbed her and picked her up. She hadn't panicked, hadn't even tried to get away from him. She'd clung to him. That had to be a sign of progress, didn't it?

  She stirred in her sleep, making him tighten his arms around her. She couldn't leave. They had something wonderful between them. It would take work, and understanding on all their parts, but he was starting to believe that they could become a family. If she stayed. From what she'd said, Kenzie tried to look out for Megan. Surely Kenzie wouldn't want her to give up her own life? If it was just a case of money maybe they'd let him help out until she got back on her feet. Megan had said she was coming to visit soon. He couldn't believe they wouldn't be able to figure out something that would work for all of them.