Wanting to Remember, Trying to Forget (Meet the Shepards #1)

by Jacqueline Francis

  An amazing man, this Max Shepard, so in tune with every aspect of her life. Three months was not a long time, but three months was all she really remembered and somehow he made it enough. She still felt lost, she still felt the hole inside her yet he was enough to fill the void of the unknown.

  “Second last on the list,” she said. “Favorite pastime?”

  This one took him a few seconds to respond. “It’s a little difficult to answer that one. You don’t really have many hobbies, but if I had to guess…it would be reading fashion and lifestyle magazines. You love all that How To shit. How to burn belly-fat in 30 days. How to dress to fit your body type.” He leaned forward and smiled, his tone mocking the silliness of it all. “How to keep him coming back for more.”

  “You’re being mean again. And while those seem like very interesting articles, you’ll be pleased to know that that one has changed as well. I do in fact have a new favorite.”

  “Oh, please tell me. I am dying to know what could possibly be more interesting than that.”

  She ignored his sarcasm and lowered her head, feeling shy to reveal this to him now. “Well…it says here that my favorite pastime is…making out with you. But I wouldn’t trust it. It comes from an unreliable source, some crazy woman who likes the Beach Boys and How To articles. You can’t trust a person like that.”

  He stopped chopping and the smile that curved on his lips made her heart skip a beat.

  “I think we have to prove that one.” Moving around the counter, he swiveled the barstool so she could face him. “Like you said; the crazy woman can’t be trusted.”

  His lips touched hers and she knew in that moment that she didn’t need to ask her final question, because the answer now was the same as it was before. Her ultimate favorite, the thing she loved most in this world was, is and always would be Maximillian Augustus Shepard.

  * * *

  Someone needed to remind him not to kiss Danny anymore. He needed a trigger, some type of alarm to go off in his head whenever her lips were in kissing distance, because this is what always happened.

  She had come home a few minutes ago, excited to tell him that she had landed another job. One of the benefactors at the charity dinner asked Lauren for her number and she was now going to be planning another corporate event.

  A little congratulatory kiss had resulted in them rolling on her bed like two sex-starved maniacs who couldn’t get enough of each other.

  Off came her blouse.

  His hands moved up her body, giving its usual tribute to the scar before cupping her breasts. She rolled onto him, grinding her pelvis against his. He unclipped her bra and pulled it off before his hands went sliding down her back to squeeze her ass, pressing her harder against Penis.

  Penis and Danny had become very well-acquainted over the last few weeks. And when Danny was around, Penis could not be reasoned with. Alarms bells, triggers and common sense went out the window if he got even the slightest taste of her.

  Max rolled over, tossing her back against the bed. Whipping off his T-shirt, he threw it on the floor and then his mouth was on hers again. Chest to chest. Skin to skin. He loved that feeling, the way her nipples hardened against him. Soft hands were all over him, fervent and hungry.

  He ran a hard hand up her thigh and she moaned against his ear. He loved her ass in those denim shorts, but it was entirely unnecessary at the moment, so that, too, was soon discarded. His hand moved between her thighs, stroking her wet hot spot with expertise. After weeks of foreplay, he knew every hot spot she had.

  Lick the spot at the base of her neck and her breath caught in her throat. Run a thumb over her nipple and she bit her bottom lip to stifle a moan. Move his finger inside her until he found just the right spot and…

  “Oh…Max…”

  That moan caught Penis’s attention, causing him to push against the fabric of Max’s jeans, like he was trying to burst through and escape his prison. Max smiled as he looked down at her flushed face. She was exquisite. Even though her dark hair was styled in a boy-cut, she exuded femininity. Her soft caramel skin, her small perky breasts; every inch of her was flaming hot perfection.

  She unzipped his jeans, her lips trailing down his neck as her hand moved beneath the band of his boxer shorts. She gave Penis a firm handshake and Max suddenly needed both his hands to hold himself up.

  He shut his eyes, dropping his head to kiss her again, but it was a broken kiss, ending every few seconds when his lips released a staggered groan.

  She knew where to touch him, too. Nibble his ear and he tingled everywhere. Run nails down his back and a scorching wave surged through his body. Rub his cock the way she was right now and every part of him went haywire.

  Yep. No more congratulatory kisses for Danny.

  She continued to stroke him until he felt something completely unfamiliar. If her mouth was on his, then what was that delicious wetness he was feeling?

  Oh, fuck!

  Now when did that happen? His jeans were still on – well, partly on – but somehow the wrong part of their lower halves were naked at the same time. It was a simple rule, really. Don’t get naked. It only led to trouble and now he was so deep in it that he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. His lungs gave in, freezing as she rubbed his tip along her moist entrance.

  “Danny…”

  It was supposed to be a protest yet it didn’t sound like one and she was too lost in ecstasy to pay much attention. She whimpered, rubbing his tip against her clit, round and round, and up and down.

  “Danny…we need to stop.” And he meant it. Penis was about to lose control and thinking with a level head was becoming impossible. “We’re not…we’re not ready for this.”

  “I’m ready, Max,” she whispered breathlessly. “Can’t you feel how wet I am for you?”

  Charlie was right. She was the fucking devil, tempting him with forbidden fruit.

  Then she pushed his tip inside her and every rational thought disintegrated. His brain turned to mush, thinking only of the pleasure her wet warmth ignited. He had to resist every urge to plunge his hips forward.

  “Max, I want you inside me.”

  He shut his eyes, shaking his head as if it would throw those words out of his ears. That was the last thing he wanted to hear…the only thing he wanted to hear.

  “I want you inside me so bad,” she said and his hand immediately covered her mouth.

  “You…you…need to…you need to stop talking…just stop…talking.”

  Her lips stopped moving, but her hand didn’t, pushing more of him into her, deep enough to feel her tender tightness around him. His hand slipped off mouth, curling tightly into the pillowcase.

  “I want you, Max.”

  That sentence was torture. I want you. That was a choice, wasn’t it? And that choice was him. How could he say no when that was what he had wanted to hear for years?

  “I don’t have protection,” he muttered as a last resort to save himself.

  “I do,” she whispered.

  That was a very quick solution to a problem he didn’t want to have. No more congratulatory kisses for Danny!

  Danny urged him off her and rolled over to retrieve a pack of condoms from her drawer.

  “Were you planning this?” he asked.

  “Hoping is more like it,” she confessed. “I started on the pill a few weeks ago, but it’s still too soon so I got these.”

  He rubbed his jaw and she realized that she had given him too much time to think and when he started thinking, doubt inevitably ensued.

  “Are you sure you want to do this, Danny?”

  “Every part of me wants to do this.” She decided to speak quickly, say everything she needed to say so he would know that she had no doubts. “Don’t look for excuses. I know you want this, too. Don’t bring up my memory loss. If anything, the accident makes me want to do this even more. It taught me to not waste time because all it takes is one second to lose everything that’s important. Life gave me a second ch
ance with you and I’m not wasting it.” She placed the sealed condom in his hand and straddled his hips. “I want this. I want you. Stop questioning it because my answer will always be yes.”

  He grabbed the back of her head and kissed her with unbridled passion, uncontrolled fervency, like he did in fact have everything to lose. His hands encircled her bottom, pulling her harder against him. It only took a few minutes of him kissing her like that before she felt like she couldn’t wait any longer. She broke the kiss and took the condom from him, studying the glossy front cover and then the back. “Does this thing come with instructions?”

  “Um…” He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not sure what to do either.”

  “I thought you did this before?”

  “Yeah, three years ago,” he reminded her. “And…she took care of this part.”

  “Well, okay. It can’t be that hard. It’s not rocket science. We can figure this out.”

  She got off him and sat beside him on the bed. She used her teeth to rip open the packet and then handed him the condom.

  He stripped off his jeans, then looked down at himself and released an exaggerated breath as he began the task. She heard the stinging sound of rubber slapping against skin.

  “Ow,” he said, his face flinching. “I don’t remember this being such a painful exercise.” After a few more ows and frustrated groans, his eyebrows creased. “That doesn’t look right.”

  Danny looked down at his poor penis trapped in the rubber with a bubble of air caught at the top and burst out laughing. “I think you put it on upside down.”

  The uncontrollable giggles came out so hard that she fell back against bed.

  “Stop laughing,” Max said, amusement in his voice as well. “Give me another one.”

  She handed him another condom, then placed her hands on her stomach because it was beginning to hurt from the laughter.

  Her backside received a light slap. “Stop laughing!”

  Another stinging sound as the first condom was removed. Putting on the second one was much quicker and evidently much less painful. “There!” He pushed her back against the bed and rolled on top of her. “You don’t do much for a man’s ego.”

  “You’re cute,” she said, brushing his hair back as her giggles subsided.

  He smiled but his eyes were serious. “Only if you’re sure, Danny.”

  “I’m sure.” She slid her hand between their bodies and guided him to her entrance.

  His body stiffened, seemingly more nervous than she was. He began to move, pushing slowly into her. The sensation was indescribable, her body welcoming this new visitor. She took deep, steady breaths to slow her heart rate as he withdrew and pushed in again, trying to go a little deeper this time. But then he encountered resistance. His tip hit against it and pain shot up her body. She shifted her hips to ease the discomfort but as he tapped again and again, the pain became more searing.

  “Max, stop.” Her face felt hot, her pelvis throbbing. “It’s like…going swimming. You can’t get into the pool little by little. You just gotta jump right in.”

  Wariness wrinkled his forehead when he realized what she was suggesting. “Danny, I could hurt you.”

  “It’s hurting now.”

  “Okay.” He grabbed her hand and interlinked his fingers with hers. “Hurt me back if you have to.”

  She braced herself as he withdrew and plunged into her, once, twice, until she felt it give way. Squeezing his fingers tight, she bit into his shoulder, trying to transfer at least some of the pain. He stopped when he was fully inside her, both of them breathless.

  “You okay?” he whispered raggedly.

  She managed a nod, almost huffing as her body tried to adjust to the thickness inside her. More than a minute ticked by before the ache began to ebb. “It’s a bit better now.”

  He nodded and waited a while before he began to move. The first thrust was uncomfortable, the second was a mixture of pain and pleasure, but by the third she was gripping his fingers for a different reason. Her body loosened, allowing her to feel the ecstasy of him sliding in and out of her. He kept his slow pace but his breathing quickened and then his tongue was in her mouth, kissing her like only he knew how.

  He groaned against her lips. “You feel so good,” he murmured.

  Every part of her pelvis felt tender. The fleeting jolts of pain stopped it from being a completely enjoyable experience yet the very thought of him being inside her was what brought the waves of pleasure. Looking down at where their bodies joined, the erotic way he moved in and out, exhilarated her. His thrusts were deep, but at the same time, slow and careful. She could sense his restraint. He was trying not to hurt her. Slow and deep and deep and slow, he rocked above her, his breathing becoming more and more irregular.

  “Danny…I can’t…” One more thrust. One more heavy groan and it was over. He dropped his head beside hers, his gasps warm against her skin. Lifting himself up again, he looked at her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I know you didn’t…It just…it felt so good and I couldn’t…I’m sorry. I’m really bad at this.”

  “Hey.” She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer. “We have more than that. This was more than that…so much more. We’re still learning and we’ll get better, but this wasn’t about sex or orgasms. I gave you me and you gave me you and that’s all that matters. And just for the record,” she whispered, lifting her head to brush her lips against his. “That was incredible…better than I could have ever imagined.”

  A slight smile curved on his lips, causing his dimple to twitch. “You’ve always had a way of making me feel better about my shortcomings.” He paused for a second and his smile widened. “Pardon the pun.”

  She giggled then, too.

  “You’ve always made me feel like being me is more than enough. You’re amazing, Danny…my best friend and I…I…I really…”

  He couldn’t say it, not yet anyway, but she knew what the last two words of that sentence was. Maybe he wasn’t ready or maybe he wasn’t sure yet about how he felt about her. She was sure but she wouldn’t tell him either. She had initiated everything so far and sometimes it felt like she had forced the relationship to this point. She didn’t want to be first to drop the word love, too. For those three precious words, she was going to wait. Wait until he was ready. Wait until he was sure. Because those words, that feeling shouldn’t ever be forced.

  August

  “Woman, you are going to get me fired!”

  Max’s hands were fast but hers were faster. She was undressing him quicker than he could redress. She unbuttoned his light blue shirt, her body slipping lower as she undid the ones at the bottom. His hands followed the same path to button it up again.

  “Just a quickie,” she pleaded as she dropped to her knees in front of him.

  The raw hunger in her voice sent a burning urge to the lower half of his body. “Stop talking, Danny.”

  All he wanted to do was get to work on time. Just one morning. If he managed to get to the front door, he could still make it. Being punctual was something that had not happened in over two weeks. He could actually pin point his tardiness to the very day he had started sharing a bed with Danny. He had thought that she was insatiable before but she had become a nymphomaniac since they first made love.

  The first few times were awkward and still a bit painful for her, but it got better and better every time. Learning to control himself was also getting easier. Easier was maybe the wrong word. It wasn’t easy to control himself when an irresistibly sexy woman slid down hot and tight on top of him. But he could restrain himself for longer. He had certainly had a lot of practice in a short space of time because Danny was unstoppable now.

  He grabbed his tie from the dresser, lifting his collar before he pulled it around his neck. His hands tried to pull together a decent knot in his tie while her hands unbuckled his belt, the same belt he had just buckled. He sighed. His every effort to get dressed was being reversed. It was almost frustrating, a
lmost disappointing, but he felt neither of those emotions when he heard his zipper slide down.

  “I promise I’ll make it worth your while,” she said seductively.

  He looked down at her with his tip barely an inch from her luscious mouth.

  “You’re a sex-crazed maniac!” he shouted.

  She smiled and her tongue darted out to taste him.

  “Aaah…Danny…please…please…”

  “I’m not sure what you’re begging me for, Max.” There was that fake innocent tone again. He loved it. He hated it. “Is this what you’re begging me for?”

  She pulled Penis into her mouth and he knees almost buckled. Resistance at this point was futile. He grabbed her hands, lifted her up, and slammed his mouth against hers. She undid the little progress he had made with his tie and pulled it off. Her hands unbuttoned the shirt he had just re-buttoned before moving into the hair he had just combed. He didn’t care anymore. He just kissed her. It was hard, lacking any kind of tenderness, filled with molten heat that could only be the product of two fire signs colliding.

  “Is this what you want?” he whispered roughly.

  “Yes.”

  She smiled that devil smile and he wanted to punish her for being so evil. He threw her up against the wall and lifted her legs around his waist. Access was easy enough. All she wore was a tiny nighty with nothing underneath. He pushed his trousers off his waist and entered her, quick and solid. They had given up condoms a few days ago and the feeling of her wet folds on his bare skin was a shockwave of indescribable pleasure. He began to thrust, so deep she gasped, her soft thighs tightening around him.

  “Do you like what you turn me in to, Danny?”