by AC Oswald
Oh God, how could she even consider complaining about this? How could she? Bethany had arranged a goddamned school bus for her, and they were about to go on a freaking road trip! And Savannah didn’t even know for sure how Bethany had gotten the keys. She didn’t want to know because it didn’t matter. What mattered was that the woman she loved was about to drive into the sunrise with her in a giant yellow bus and that they would spend the whole day together.
Savannah shook her head as the smile returned to her lips.
“No, Beth. I’m not mad. I think you’re amazing. And we’re still pretty badass for doing this. I’ve never driven a bus, and I’m not sure I can do it.”
“I can do it,” Bethany offered happily. “And you take the map and give me directions. You know I find maps confusing. We’d probably never get there if the roles were reversed.”
“Sounds good,” Savannah grinned. “I’ll open the gate. Get that thing started.”
Bethany smiled and tried to push the key into the ignition lock. She pushed again and again—but nothing happened.
“It doesn’t fit!” Bethany whined.
Savannah tried it herself and quickly realized that this was indeed not the right key.
“Bummer,” Savannah mumbled. “Are you sure we’re in the right bus?”
“He said to take the one on the very left.” Bethany pouted, and Savannah chuckled.
“Come on,” she said as she took Bethany’s hand in hers. “Let’s try the bus on the other left.”
They had a long trip ahead of them. Savannah figured there was at least eight hours of driving left.
The sun was already visible on the horizon and Bethany had been driving for three hours straight now. At first it had been a little bumpy, but Bethany soon got used to the big vehicle. She looked rather tiny behind the huge steering wheel, and Savannah kept smiling at the image she presented next to her.
Bethany had removed her ponytail so her blonde hair was waving lightly in the cool breeze that came in through the opened windows. The radio signal was bad, so they were listening to one of the old mix tapes they had found in a small box under the seat.
Sheryl Crow’s “If It Makes You Happy” was playing, and Savannah closed her eyes for a moment. She sat back comfortably in the passenger seat, breathing in the fresh air, and casually put up her feet on the dashboard in front of her. If spending time with Bethany on the road in a more or less stolen bus in the early morning hours was making her happy, then nothing could be that bad, right? Because it didn’t matter how much time they would have left as long as she felt as carefree as she was feeling right in this moment.
“Savy, I think we’re running out of gas,” Bethany said after a while.
“Then you better find a gas station while I get out of this smooth criminal outfit.” Savannah smiled. She had decided to change into some other shirt she had brought with her because two girls in a big bus, dressed entirely in black, might make a few people suspicious.
She stood to go change a little further in the back.
She removed the black top and was standing in her bra when she thought she could feel Bethany’s gaze on her. She risked a short glance over her shoulder and met Bethany’s eyes in the rearview mirror.
“Focus on the road, please,” Savannah smirked, causing a rosy blush to creep on Bethany’s cheeks.
Savannah tried to play it down, to be flirty, but she had to admit that Bethany watching her change made her feel slightly uncomfortable. Not because she didn’t trust her or didn’t love her, but simply because her body didn’t make her feel confident about herself anymore.
No one had touched her since their breakup. No one had looked at her except for her doctors. No one else had laid eyes on what Savannah had to see every morning in the mirror: a thin, sick, and unattractive woman.
The thought of Bethany possibly finding her undesirable made her want to disappear.
Hell, even Savannah herself wouldn’t desire this new version of her. She knew exactly how pretty and attractive she used to be, and had always known how to be flirty and confident, but none of that attitude was left. She hadn’t even touched herself in months, often too disgusted by her own condition or too numb from her medication.
Savannah felt relieved when Bethany finally spotted a small gas station at the side of the road.
Bethany quickly changed into a normal outfit as well while Savannah tried to figure out where the gas cap was located.
“Well, well, well.” An elderly man with a gray mustache popped up right behind her.
“What are you young ladies doing here in the early morning hours, all alone in an ol’ school bus?” he asked Savannah with a strong southern accent.
Bethany peeked out. “We stole it,” she whispered proudly, causing the man to frown and twirl the stray hairs of his mustache with his fingers.
Savannah’s eyes widened. “We didn’t, actually, so no need to call the cops.”
“Uh-huh,” the man muttered as he walked back to the small shop where he sold drinks and snacks.
She tried to focus on filling the tank with gas, but she felt dizzy. This often happened when she hadn’t lain down for a while or when she had to handle stressful situations. She kept her eyes on the gas pump, but her vision was blurry. The pain in her upper stomach was becoming almost unbearable. Wave after wave of nausea kept shaking through her body.
“Are you okay? Savy?” She heard Bethany’s voice as if it were coming from miles away. “Savannah?”
“Yeah. I’m… I think I need to use the bathroom,” she said, before throwing up right next to the bus.
Savannah lay with her head on Bethany’s lap on a couch in the back of the gas station. Bethany was stroking her hair and felt terribly scared and guilty. It was too much for Savannah, wasn’t it? She had underestimated her disease, and it made her feel awful to see her like that. I shouldn’t have pushed her to do this.
“Want some more water?” the elderly man asked Savannah as he sat down on a chair beside them. His name was Joe.
“Thank you,” Bethany replied as she took the bottle from him and helped Savannah take a sip.
“It’ll be okay. I’m fine. I just feel a little nauseous sometimes,” Savannah assured them. “Will you get me my meds?”
Bethany nodded. She knew she didn’t need to tell Savannah how she really felt. How much it terrified her. Everything.
She watched Savannah swallow each pill and studied her face to make out if she was in pain. Savannah’s features were tense, but she brought out a smile—always the tough one.
“We can go back,” she said. “We can call a doctor. I don’t know, I’m sure there are doctors around here. We—”
“No,” Savannah interrupted her. “I’m good, Beth. I’m good. We won’t go home.”
“Okay,” Bethany whispered, and Savannah got up from her lap.
“I’d like to use the restroom. I need to clean up a little,” Savannah mumbled. “Then we can go on.”
“It’s right outside. The little blue cabin,” Joe told her. “Want me to show it to ya?”
“I got it.”
Joe cleared his throat. “So, what is this road trip all about, if you don’t mind me asking?” he asked when Savannah was out of the room. “I’ve worked at this godforsaken gas station for over thirty-five years, but never have I met two pretty young ladies alone in a school bus.” He cracked open a beer. What time was it? Eight in the morning?
“We’re on our way to Copperhill, Tennessee. It was her birthday wish,” Bethany lied, trying to avoid Joe’s gaze.
Joe nodded slowly and scratched the stubble on his chin.
“Cancer is a bitch,” he finally said, and Bethany started choking on her water.
“What do you mean?” He must be psychic or a wizard.
“Sweetheart, it’s not hard to see that your friend is sick. I lost my dear Carol to that son-of-a-bitch of a disease, and let me tell ya, if God really exists, he and I are gonna have a serious talk if I ever get to meet him.”
Bethany swallowed. She hoped Savannah was going to stay in the bathroom for a little while longer. Bethany was sure she wouldn’t approve of this kind of conversation.
“I’m sorry about your wife,” she whispered.
“Thanks. You know, life isn’t fair. But we have to make the best of it. I know she’s in a better place now.”
He took another sip of his beer and stretched his legs.
“I think it’s great that you two are doing what you feel like doing, ya know? What’s the point in sitting at home and feeling sorry for yourself when you can go out and enjoy the day? Yeah, the world can be an ugly place, but there’s a lot more than that. If I could turn back time, I’d do all kinds of crazy things with Carol. Go camping in the wilderness, make love to her under the stars, ya know?”
Bethany nodded and, despite everything, felt a smile blooming on her lips.
“And you, kiddo,” he said, his voice more serious. “You’re gonna be all right. You’re young.”
Bethany gave him a dubious look.
“Look at me. I’m an old fart, but I’m not sad or feeling sorry for myself. I got to spend so many years of my life married to the woman I love, and I know she’s not really gone. It doesn’t feel like she’s gone. I still talk to her, and it still feels like she’s listening. And I’m pretty damn sure I’ll see her again sooner or later.”
“But she’s too young to…to…”
“I know,” Joe told Bethany, not waiting for her to say the word. “I know, kiddo. And I’m sorry. But you two are gonna make the best of it. She seems like a tough young woman to me. She’s not gonna leave you without fighting. She’s gonna stay with you for as long as she can, and you’re gonna have a hell of a good time. A time you’ll always remember. That’s something that no one can ever take away from you.”
Bethany nodded again and quickly brushed away the tears from her cheeks as she heard Savannah’s footsteps in the hallway.
Then the door swung open.
“I’m ready if you are,” Savannah said as she came back inside and Bethany quickly got up.
Joe walked with them to their bus and handed them two cans of beer.
“On the house,” he told them with a grin. “Have a good trip. Oh, and just follow the road signs to Chattanooga, that’s the quickest way.”
Savannah nodded as she took the beer, thanking him for his help.
Before Bethany climbed back into the vehicle, she placed a quick kiss on Joe’s cheek.
“Thank you,” she whispered and gave him a heartfelt smile.
Bethany could still see Joe in the rearview mirror, watching them with a smile on his lips.
Bethany told Savannah she should sleep for a while to regain some energy. Savannah tried to argue at first.
“No. You need to rest. I can follow the road signs for Chattanooga easily enough.”
That was almost six hours ago, and Bethany was proud of herself. It wouldn’t take much longer to finally get to Copperhill.
Savannah looked peaceful as she slept, and Bethany was glad that the color had returned to her cheeks.
The mix tape was playing some old Patsy Cline song, and the country music fitted the landscape around them perfectly. Bright rays of sunlight were warming her face, yet Bethany thought she could hear the rumble of thunder a few miles away. She took a look over her shoulder and realized there were thick, black clouds in the sky behind them. For a minute, she felt thankful that they were driving a bus and not riding a motorcycle.
Bethany’s mind went back to the list and all the things they were still about to do. She was smiling at the thought of making a few of the more difficult wishes come true. It was a little like playing fairy godmother.
The thunder seemed to be getting closer, and Bethany looked at Savannah again, hoping that it wouldn’t wake her up. She needed the rest. Maybe she could manage the whole way by herself. Savannah would be happy if they had arrived at their destination when she woke up.
A wave of panic hit Bethany when raindrops started landing on her windshield. She had no clue how to turn on the wipers. She pressed a few buttons, shifted a few levers, but she only managed to turn on the heater and the high beams.
She let out a frustrated groan and decided it was safer to stop at the side of the road until the rain shower had passed.
Savannah still hadn’t woken up. Bethany parked the bus and let her head rest on the window next to her to watch the raindrops smash against the glass. First she was lost in thought, but then something caught her attention.
“Savy?” she yelled while poking her friend. “Savy, wake up!”
Savannah moaned a little, then slowly opened her eyes. “What happened?” she asked. “Are we there yet?”
“Not quite yet.”
“Did we get lost?”
“No, Savy. Get up.”
Savannah wiped the sleep out of her eyes and stared at Bethany, who had pushed the door open and hopped right into the rain.
“Are you insane? You’re gonna get a cold,” Savannah told her. “Come back inside.”
“No, Savannah. Come outside! Just do it!”
Savannah sighed and shook her head as she opened the passenger door and stepped out in the cool November rain.
“And now?” she asked Bethany a little impatiently. “It’s raining. Great.”
“Turn around!” Savannah did just that. Then she spotted it. The huge rainbow. Double rainbow, even. Bethany thought she could see Savannah blush.
They were in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by corn fields. On their left, the sun was shining brightly. On the right, the sky was painted in a dark gray, almost black. In front of the dark clouds, the giant rainbow was shining in all its beautiful colours. It looked amazing.
Their clothes were already soaked now, but Bethany didn’t notice it anymore. She looked at Savannah, who kept staring at the rainbow, then turned around to meet her eyes.
“It’s, um, it’s a rainbow.”
“Yeah,” Savannah cleared her throat. “Yeah, I can see that.”
Bethany was kicking some small stones away with her foot and stared at the grass underneath her feet. She shrugged.
“Well, I mean, you said you wanted to…you said you wanted a kiss.”
Savannah bit her lower lip and nodded slowly. “I guess that’s what I said.”
“I’m sorry,” Bethany stuttered.
“Sorry about what?”
“That I’m the only one around right now. You can, of course, wait for another rainbow. With somebody else, I mean. I don’t expect you to… I don’t know if you want to, like, maybe some other day.”
Savannah closed her eyes and shook her head as she smiled.
“Shut up,” she told her, her eyes teary as she opened them again. “Shut up, Beth.”
Bethany felt the heart pump faster in her chest as she saw Savannah walk over to her. Her hair was wet, just like her own, and thick raindrops were running down her skin. Her brown eyes looked a little darker than usual.
Then their faces were only inches apart.
For a second, Bethany thought she could see Savannah hesitate, could sense how nervous she was, but a moment later, it was all forgotten. A moment later, everything felt right.
Savannah’s lips were on her own, softly at first, brushing lightly against hers. Bethany pulled away a little to search Savannah’s eyes for confirmation. She saw the smile on her lips. Saw the relief. The happiness.
Then their lips touched again, and it felt as if nothing had changed. As if they had never bro
ken up. As if they had only been apart for a long vacation and one of them had finally returned home.
All the waiting. All those months. All those nights.
Bethany parted her lips instinctively and caught her breath as she felt the tip of Savannah’s tongue against her own. She had missed this taste so much. This feeling. Everything about her.
She could feel Savannah’s hand in her hair, could feel her stroke some wet strands out of her face. It was a small gesture that made her heart beat even faster.
This was it. She knew it. This was the moment that changed everything. After this kiss, she wouldn’t be able to go back. Savannah would be hers again, because she knew Savannah felt it too. She had to.
Savannah’s hand was on her neck now. She pulled her closer, and they deepened the kiss while their bodies and their soaked clothes pressed impossibly close together.
Bethany’s eyes were pressed shut, and she felt like never opening them again. It was one of those rare moments in life that you didn’t want to end. One of those moments that felt as if someone had lifted a terribly heavy weight off your shoulders that you had forgotten you were carrying all these months.
She never wanted to get used to it again. She never wanted to be without those kisses again.
“I missed you,” she gasped as they interrupted the kiss for a second. “I missed you so much. I can’t tell you how much.”
Savannah nodded, smiling. “Me too,” she whispered. “Me too.”
Bethany took off her jacket and wrapped it around Savannah as she kissed her once more, smiling against her mouth as she pressed her lips on hers. She lifted her off the ground and twirled her around a little, not once breaking the kiss.
Savannah was so light. Bethany thought she could probably carry her all the way to Copperhill.
She had no idea how long they had been kissing with the jacket held over their heads like a tent. They only stopped when Savannah shivered in her embrace.