About a Baby

by Ann Yost

She returned to her spot at the end of the sofa.

  Baz appeared a minute later with scissors and the water.

  “Okay,” Hallie told the young mother. “The next time you feel a contraction building, I want you to push down hard for a count of ten.”

  “It’s coming,” Janie wailed a minute later. “Oh my god, it hurts.”

  “Push through the pain,” Hallie instructed.

  “Remember, your body’s doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. Ralph, can you support her back and pull back her leg?”

  “Which leg?”

  Hallie glanced at Baz, who’d started tearing up sheets. He moved to the sofa and propped Jane’s head and upper back up against his chest. “That leg,” he told Ralph. “Hold it back. Yeah. Like that.”

  The man seemed to know exactly how to do this. She wondered if he’d watched the popular series “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant.”

  Janie pushed a couple of times, and then she began to cry.

  “Hallie, massage the perineum,” Baz instructed.

  “That’ll ease the baby’s passage. Janie, we’re a team here. All four of us are going to make sure this baby is nice and healthy. Everybody’s got their job and your job is to push down in your bottom. Don’t screw up your face. Use the energy down below.”

  “Can I scream?”

  “You can scream the house down.”

  She did scream. And she pushed. Baz and Hallie coached her while Ralph held her leg. It seemed as if the painful process took hours. In reality, it couldn’t have been more than thirty minutes. Hallie strained her ears for the sound of the siren, but she could hear nothing but Janie’s intermittent shrieks. The young woman’s face was as red as a radish, and her sweat-dampened hair was plastered to her skull. She let out a powerful grunt.

  “She’s gonna blow,” Ralph said, hoarsely.

  Hallie dipped her hands into the nearby water.

  She wiped them off. It only took one more push. The baby’s head popped out. She supported it gently and cleaned out the tiny nostrils with a Q-tip.

  “One more push,” she said.

  “You can do it, honey,” Ralph said. “Come on, push.”

  “Shut! Up! Next time you’re doing this part.”

  “Next time?” Ralph shook his head. “Are you insane?”

  Hallie wanted to laugh, but she didn’t.

  Baz moved quickly to place Ralph behind Janie’s back. He instructed them both, and Hallie, too.

  “Hold onto her, Ralph. That’s it, Janie. Focus now. This is it. Last push. One, two three, go. He started to count. In between seven and eight he looked at Hallie. “Time to catch the baby,” he said.

  Suddenly she panicked. She stared at Baz. “You do it.”

  “You’ll be fine,” he said.

  A moment later the child slid into her arms. He was red and wet and wiggily. He squawked and flailed his little arms. Hallie cradled him.

  He was a miracle. She hadn’t realized she was crying until Baz brushed away a tear. “You, okay?”

  “He’s perfect,” she said.

  “What is it?” Janie asked.

  Hallie heard Baz’s low voice. “Ralph, Junior.”

  “I have a son!” Ralph yodeled and kissed his wife.

  Hallie wiped the baby off while Baz tied the cord and Ralph cut it. She swaddled the baby boy in a scrap of sheet. He stopped squealing and gazed up at her.

  Then she felt Baz’s comforting hands on her shoulders. “Honey,” he said, in a voice so gentle she hardly recognized it, “give Janie the baby.”

  Oh God. She should have done that immediately. She handed Ralph, Junior to Baz who settled the child in his mother’s arms. Janie looked more like a Madonna than a warrior, but Hallie knew she was both.

  “Just so you know,” Ralph, senior whispered in his wife’s ear. “You come first. Always.”

  Hallie’s heart filled with gratitude for the safe birth with just a hint of regret that she’d never get to experience that searing pain or that limitless joy.

  She looked at Baz. The gray eyes held understanding and sympathy.

  Chester made good time considering the snow and sleet. Hallie and Baz cleaned up the farmhouse and prepared the small family for their trip to Eden. Hallie barely felt the cold as she and Baz stopped in at the barn to check on Blue then made their way back to the truck.

  “Thank you,” she said, suddenly.

  “For what?”

  “Letting me catch the baby.”

  “You did a great job.”

  She leaned her head against the high seat back.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked.

  “I’m thinking that I’m so incredibly lucky. How many people get to attend even one birth, much less two in one night?”

  He nodded but said nothing. A moment later he’d backed out of the yard and turned down the unpaved driveway.

  “You’re a good doctor,” she continued. “You knew exactly what to do for Blue. And you were a natural with Janie.”

  A natural birthing coach, a natural father. He would make a great husband and dad. She fought the sense of sadness that threatened to overwhelm her.

  “What just happened?”

  She looked at him. “What?”

  “Your mood changed. Why? What are you thinking?”

  She shrugged. Her heart was too full not to tell him the truth. “I’m thinking how much you need kids of your own. And I can’t give them to you.”

  He stopped the truck in the middle of the driveway. He reached over and unbuckled her seatbelt then he pulled her up against his chest. She buried her face in the crook of his shoulder. It felt wonderful. It felt like home. Her defenses melted, and tears dampened his ruined shirt.

  She cried with relief for the babies born tonight and with regret for those she would never have. He held her until she was out of tears. “You are my family, Hallie.”

  She stopped crying and looked at him. “I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of thinking about what I can’t have. This is New Year’s Eve, Baz. I want to celebrate what we do have.”

  “Sssh,” he said, not understanding. “You’re exhausted, baby. Put your head down on my lap. Go to sleep.”

  His suggestion triggered an image in Hallie’s brain. Suddenly she had a plan. “Okay. Thanks.”

  She snuggled down on the seat and laid her cheek against his rock-hard thigh. It was a perfect position for what she had in mind.

  This was a bad idea. A really bad idea.

  The feel of her cheek against his thigh made Baz grit his teeth. They were both exhausted, covered in bodily fluids, and he was operating a ton of moving metal. None of that stopped the jolts of electricity that rocketed through him every time she moved.

  Hell, every time she took in a breath.

  He searched out an old image from college biology. All that was happening here was a psychological reaction. Just knowing her mouth was that close to his genitals was sending an urgent signal to his left anterior cingulated cortex. The part of the brain that controlled arousal. He was aroused, all right. He gripped the steering wheel and tried to focus on something else. Normally he was excellent at compartmentalization.

  Where the hell was his control?

  A groan worked its way up his chest as she rubbed her cheek against him.

  He hadn’t had control of his life since she’d shown up at the lab last year. He felt her breath against the inside of his thigh. Christ! Was it open?

  He wanted to run the truck into the sleet-sodden weeds, rip her clothes off, and plunge into her. Hallie.

  He couldn’t do it. He had to wait for a signal from her. Besides, he wanted more than a hot fuck on the side of a country road at three o’clock on New Year’s Day. Didn’t he? He wanted her for keeps.

  He explained that to the blood rushing to his groin. Pretty soon there would be nothing between his ears, nothing to keep him from going overboard.

  He needed to move her off his lap before he did something unforgivable
.

  “Hallie?”

  “Mmmm?” She adjusted her position by using her fingers to smooth their way down the inside of his thigh.

  He forgot what he was going to say.

  She shifted again. When she spoke, her lips moved against him, and he felt moisture. Jesus.

  “Do you want something, Baz?”

  He shut his eyes, the truck slipped as he forgot what he was doing. “No, no, everything’s fine.”

  “Is there anything you need?”

  Christ, yes.

  “Not a thing.”

  “I don’t think that’s quite true.” Her hand closed over his erection.

  He jerked upward and took his foot off both the accelerator and the clutch. The truck stalled. He pumped the pedals desperately, succeeding only in flooding the engine.

  She sat up but didn’t move away from him.

  “Flooded?”

  “Yeah. It has to rest a minute.”

  “You know. I’m really happy for Ralph and Janie. They have everything.”

  She was too close. Her fingers were still splayed on the muscles of his thigh and he had an arousal the size of Mount Rushmore.

  “What’s your definition of everything?” Dammit, his voice was hoarse.

  “Each other, the baby, the farm.”

  “They’ll be lucky to keep that farm. They’re probably crazy to try to start a breeding program with nothing but a mare and her foal.”

  “There must be a stallion somewhere. That foal has a father.”

  A father. Robert.

  Guilt, regret and longing swarmed inside him, blocking him, blocking out the lust. In a minute he’d try the engine again, and she’d sit back in her seat. They’d be home in thirty minutes. Home and in their own beds.

  “Baz?”

  Her fingers were between his legs again.

  He put his hand over hers. “Don’t, Hallie.”

  She peered at his face. “What just happened?”

  He shrugged. “This is no place to fool around.

  Anyway, I don’t want to do this until things are right between us. You were right. I jumped too fast. We’ve been apart a whole year. People change.”

  “I don’t want to talk about any of that tonight, Baz. I don’t want to talk about the past or the future.”

  “What do you want to talk about?” Damn. He sounded hoarse again.

  “I don’t want to talk at all.” She leaned into him.

  “I just want to be. And I want a kiss. It’s New Year’s

  Eve, remember? I never got my midnight kiss.”

  He eyed her in the darkness. A kiss would probably be all right. He slipped his hand behind her neck and brought her mouth to his. God, she tasted so good. Nectar of the gods. Without thinking he parted her lips with his tongue and explored behind her teeth. He felt the usual jolt of lust, but he could control it. It was just a kiss. He realized he was running out of air. His chest moved heavily, and he had to break the kiss.

  “That was nice,” she whispered. “But it wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.” He was still trying to catch his breath when she unbuckled his belt and opened his pants.

  “Halliday!”

  She gathered the throbbing swollen flesh that was his erection into her hands. “Now I get to kiss you.”

  He dropped his head against the back of the seat, shut his eyes, and wrapped his fingers in her curls. Sensations tore through him, and he heard a harsh groan. His? She stroked and licked and sucked and excitement coiled and jerked inside him. God, he was going to burst.

  “Hallie,” he gasped. “That’s all I can take.”

  She paused, leaving him hard and throbbing.

  “You want me to stop?”

  “We should get home.”

  “Now?”

  He laughed. He didn’t want to go anywhere. He was home. “Soon.”

  “Or in the morning. I’m having such a good time I could do this all night.” She took him in her mouth, and he groaned.

  “If you keep doing what you’re doing, I’ll be lucky to last another minute.” Suddenly he stopped. He didn’t want a blow job in the middle of the M-15 at three a.m. He wanted her, Hallie, in his bed, every night.

  Forever. “C’mon. Let’s finish this at home.”

  It took fifteen miles for the raging hard-on to subside. Every foot of the way he wondered why she’d done it in the first place. When he’d achieved a measure of control, he asked her. “Why?”

  She didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “I wanted you to know something.”

  He waited.

  “I wanted you to know I’m ready to be your lover.”

  Intense satisfaction exploded inside him. “That’s a start, but it won’t be enough. I want more than an affair with you. There’s no reason we can’t be together permanently.”

  Except for Nicole and Robert. You still haven’t told her.

  “Can’t sex just be about sex?”

  It always had been before. Even with her last year in L.A. He hadn’t been thinking long term. Sex could be just about sex.

  “Not for us. Not anymore. I want a commitment, Hallie.”

  Chapter Eleven

  She loved him and she wanted him. She even forgave him for the year-long delay that had cost her so much. Couldn’t that be enough?

  She glanced at his hard profile.

  Apparently not.

  “Because you can’t forgive me.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not that. I can forgive you. I just can’t go through all of that again.”

  “All of what?”

  “Losing you.”

  And she would lose him when he finally figured out he needed to have kids of his own.

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  Suddenly she was ticked. “Isn’t it enough that I want you now? For goodness sake, Baz. All anybody really has is now. In this ‘now’ I’d like to have an affair.”

  “Forget it.”

  She didn’t know quite what to make of that.

  She’d never heard of a single guy turning down a chance for uncommitted sex. “So it’s all or nothing?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Has anyone ever told you you’re mule-stubborn?”

  “It’s been mentioned.”

  The attempt at humor had a calming effect on her. “What about a compromise?”

  “No.”

  She ignored that. “How about if we just become a couple for a while and see where it goes? You know, like normal people.”

  “You mean an engagement?”

  She let out an exasperated laugh. “I mean like exclusive dating. Sleeping together. Getting to know one another.”

  “I’m too old to go steady.”

  “We wouldn’t have to call it that. We could call it, uh…”

  “A courtship,” he said. “We’ll call it a courtship.”

  She considered that. She could have nothing at all, or she could have a three-month “courtship” with the man she loved.

  “Okay. A courtship it is.”

  A courtship. Well, it was better than nothing. It implied marriage, too, didn’t it? He decided it did now.

  The darkness of the night was thinning when they finally arrived home. He accompanied her to the carriage house apartment, not sure whether he’d be invited to spend the rest of the night there.

  He took her key and opened the door. Cameron was lounging on Hallie’s sofa. He came to his feet.

  Baz frowned. “What’re you doing here?”

  The shirttail of Cam’s tux was out. He’d lost his bow tie. He scrubbed a hand down his face. The stubble on it matched Baz’s own.

  “I came to find out what the hell’s going on.

  Everybody’s saying you got Hallie pregnant.”

  Baz winced. He knew the words would hurt. He wondered if this soul-wrenching loss would be with her for the rest of her life.

  “Diane Cobbs started the rumor.” Cam narrowed his eyes at Baz. “I’m assuming you can do
something about this?”

  Baz looked at Hallie.

  “Cam knows about the infertility.”

  For some reason that made him angry. “People can bite my ass. Nobody has to know about that.”

  “It’s not just the pregnancy part,” Cam said.

  “This is a small town. Everyone knows you’re having sex.”

  “We haven’t had that much of it.” That was a stupid response.

  “The point is it could hurt me in my business and dad in his. Mostly, it could hurt Hallie.

  She doesn’t have a reputation for sleeping around, and she’s not going to get one.”

  “Damn right she’s not. She sleeps with me. No one else.” Shit. He was starting to sound like a caveman.

  “That’s very primordial.” Hallie bit back a smile.

  “Listen, Cam. Don’t worry about this. I’ll take care of

  it. A few well-placed comments and the grapevine will print a retraction.”

  He didn’t look appeased.

  “We’re just dating,” Hallie went on. “You date people. Sharon dates people. Jolene dates people.

  That’s all I’m doing. Dating.”

  “Just dating?” The brothers spoke in unison.

  “Pinkie swear,” Hallie said, automatically. The brothers looked at her. “When I was in the third grade we always said ‘pinkie swear’ when two people said the same word in stereo. Oh, and you have to link pinkies.”

  The brothers looked at each other. Then Baz held out his little finger. After a moment’s hesitation,Cam hooked it with his own pinkie.

  “Yup. Like that.”

  “All right,” Cam said, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re dating. What happens when Baz goes back to L.A.?”

  “We’ll cross that bridge later on,” Hallie soothed.

  “In the meantime, we’re just dating.”

  “Courting,” Baz corrected her.

  “Courting?”

  “You know, flowers, candy, dinner out. Stuff like that.”

  Hallie flashed her brilliant smile. “Look, could you excuse me? I really need some sleep.”

  Cam stepped aside, and she disappeared into the bedroom. Baz ground his teeth. Well, hell. At least this little scene answered one question. He wouldn’t be spending tonight with Hallie.

  He had a bad feeling he wouldn’t be spending a lot of nights with Hallie.

  Courting in Eden, Maine would demand discretion.