A Knight to Desire

by Gerri Russell

  The men scattered to do Simon's bidding. Brianna remained where she stood. He could not look at her. He couldn't allow her to see the moment of doubt that had flashed through him. God's teeth! For the first time since Teba, he had allowed the slightest bit of fear to sink in.

  Nay. They would win this battle. They would rid Scotland of the Scottish Templars' greatest enemy. Then life could return to normal once more. They would journey this day to a place he had not been in a very long time. Perhaps, if he were fortunate, he would find the help he needed.

  Simon shook his head, clearing his thoughts and his emotions before he turned to face Brianna. "We should join the others."

  Brianna remained still and brought a hand up to his chest as though wanting to console him when she knew from their shared experience that nothing could. His skin warmed beneath her tender touch. For a heartbeat he let the reality slip. There was something unreal about the moment that he longed to hold onto. Something peaceful. Familiar. It awakened a foreign part of himself, a part that desperately craved moments like this in the past, but had never had them, moments when someone cared for him.

  "You do not always have to be so strong," she said, her voice a silken caress.

  "I am a warrior."

  She let out a long breath. "As you reminded me not too long ago, even warriors have weaknesses."

  He knew what his weakness was becoming. He put his hand over hers and stared into her eyes, wrapping the peacefulness of the moment around himself. He would need all the serenity he could gather in the days ahead if her dream of his death was what lay ahead for him. "I'll do whatever it takes to win this battle against de la Roche."

  "Simon—"

  He tore his gaze from hers and twisted toward the door. "We will speak of this no more." He strode from the chamber, leaving her to follow in his wake.

  Outside, his men had the horses saddled and waiting. The beasts moved restlessly, their breath pluming in the cold morning air. They prepared to ride out, then waited as Brother Kenneth approached the group.

  "Godspeed," the abbot said.

  "And may He be with you, Abbot, and those who remain here," Simon said with a respectful tilt of his head.

  The abbot blessed them, then sent them on their way. Simon took the lead, while Brianna and Abigail rode side by side, with the men fanned out in twos behind them.

  Silence hovered over them as they rode hard throughout the morning, barely stopping until the sun was at its peak. They came to a stop near a rambling stream, allowing the horses to rest.

  Simon sat down beneath a tree and let his eyes slide shut. His eyelids had barely settled before he felt someone standing before him. "What is it?"

  "When do we eat?" Alaric asked.

  Simon cracked one eye open. "Whenever you'd like to."

  Food. Simon's stomach growled on cue. They hadn't eaten anything but oats this morning in their haste to leave. Something hearty would be wonderful. "Are you offering to cook?" Simon opened both eyes to see Alaric and Benton stood before him, frowning.

  "Nay, we thought maybe, since she's a girl, that Brianna could cook something for us."

  Brianna sat on the ground near the horses. She held her sword in one hand and a sharpening stone in the other. Sharp slicing sounds filled the afternoon air as she ran the stone along the blade. "You want me to cook?"

  "We'll start a fire while you cook us something to eat," Benton said hopefully. "We're starving."

  Brianna stood and sheathed her sword. "You're not hungry enough to eat my cooking."

  "Oh, yes we are," Alaric said, his eyes widened and his tongue darted out to lick his lips. "Anything would be fine. Truly."

  Brianna looked to Simon. "Do you expect me to cook just because I'm a female?"

  He shrugged, not wanting to get in between Brianna and his men. They had a long way to go on this journey together. They needed to come to terms on their own. "Perhaps just this once, you and Abigail could…"

  "Abigail needs to rest." Her gaze strayed to where Abigail lay on a soft patch of grass, her eyes closed, asleep. "You'll have to deal with me." She grunted and turned toward the horses that stood quietly, their heads bowed low to the ground as they munched on grass. "Don't say that I didn't warn you."

  Alaric and Benton set a fire and soon orange-yellow flames snapped and hissed in the afternoon light. Brianna had gathered water from a nearby stream to fill the iron pot they carried on the pack horse. He watched her slice chunks of salted pork with her sword and tossed them into the broth.

  Plumes of mouth-watering steam rose into the air, and his stomach rumbled loudly. Perhaps this was a good idea. Brianna's cooking might help to make amends to the men who still resented her participating in Templar business.

  Simon smiled with satisfaction. One way to a man's heart was definitely through his stomach. He watched as she tossed in a few handfuls of oats, then a handful of onion chunks before she stirred the contents together.

  Sometime later she announced, "Food's ready." The men hurried to the fire's side with their wooden bowls extended. Brianna cast a surreptitious glance at each man as she spooned the chunky liquid into each bowl. Simon watched as Benton eagerly dug into his bowl with his spoon, bringing the steaming stew to his lips. His eyes widened as he chewed. "What is this?" he asked Brianna.

  "Your meal."

  His face puckered as he continued to chew and chew.

  Simon took a bite from his bowl of the partially burnt, brown mush. He swallowed thickly then cast a meaningful glance at his men. "Perhaps we should believe her the next time she tells us she can't cook."

  Brianna shrugged and lifted her own spoon to her mouth. "I did warn you."

  The men finished their meal in silence and it didn't take long for them to repack the horses and get underway once more. Dusk was fully upon them when they finally reached the village of Lee. It was an ordinary village of thatched-roofed cottages in the shadow of Lee Castle.

  Brianna brought her horse alongside Simon's. "Abigail is not used to riding this hard. May we please stop in this village for tonight?"

  "Nay," Simon said. His gaze shifted in the fading light to the castle nestled in the Clyde Valley below. A place he had not seen in ten long years. "We will stay at the castle."

  A frown came to Brianna's lips. "Do you know the owner of this castle as well? Is it another Templar brother?"

  He brought his horse to a stop and turned to face her. "This is my home."

  "Your home?"

  He nodded as he waved to the guards that dotted the towers. A shout went out moments before the sound of the portcullis raising filled the air. "I'll return for good someday when the Templars no longer need me."

  "I've never seen a castle this large. There are ten towers!" Brianna's eyes widened. "My father's Rosslyn Castle looks tiny by comparison."

  He kicked his horse into a gallop. "Come, there's only a short while until nightfall is fully upon us."

  It wasn't long before the eleven of them rode over the drawbridge and cleared the open gates. They came to a stop in the bailey. Simon slipped from his horse only a moment before a familiar voice sounded behind him.

  "Welcome home, milord!"

  Simon smiled as a bent man rushed up to him. His family's steward was older than he remembered, but Simon was certain time and many battles had changed him as well. "Gillis, I should have known you would be the first to greet me."

  The old man came to a stop and started bowing as he lost his balance.

  Simon caught him by the arm and brought him back to standing. "None of that, Gillis. You and I need no formalities between us."

  The old man's gray eyes filled with tears as he stared at Simon. His gaze lit on the small scar at his temple, and Simon subconsciously reached up to cover it with his fingers. "'Tis nothing to worry about, Gillis. I was one of the lucky ones to come away with only this."

  Gillis brought his bony hands up to bat the moisture away from his cheeks. "Does yer presence here mean ye've come
back to stay?" Hope brought a crack to his voice.

  "My duty continues." Simon sobered at the reminder. "Allow me to introduce my guests." He gestured to the men and women behind him.

  Gillis's watery eyes filled with hope. "Ye've brought a wife home." He shifted his gaze between Simon and Brianna. "She's a beaut, if I do say so meself!"

  "Mistress Brianna is not my wife."

  The old man's eyes narrowed. "Yer betrothed?"

  "I'm a monk. Or have you forgotten?" Simon clapped the old man on the shoulder. "None of that talk now. If my sisters catch wind of such talk…" He let his words die off before he asked the question that had burned in his chest since the moment the castle came into view. "How are my mother and the girls?"

  "Lady Lockhart is off visiting her sister in Edinburgh. And of the girls, only Bella and Caitlin remain. All the others are settled with their husbands."

  "As it should be," he said through the travel dust that suddenly clogged his throat. A pang of remorse shot through him. He should have been there to see his sisters safely settled, but the Templars and the Brotherhood had needed him. "May I see them?" Would they even recognize their brother after so long?

  A look of sadness brought shadows to Gillis's eyes.

  Simon frowned. "What is it, Gillis?"

  "'Tis Bella. She's been ill fer a while now."

  A chill rippled down Simon's spine. He had been gone too long. "What's wrong with her? Has anyone sent for Lady Lockhart?"

  "We sent a message tae her yesterday, but it's two days of hard riding tae reach her. As for Bella's condition, I dinna know, but she's very bad."

  Abigail came forward. "Take me to her. I am no great healer, but I have learned a thing or two in my years. Perhaps I can help."

  "I might be able to help as well," Brianna said.

  Simon nodded to the two women. To the others he said, "I will send someone down to see you inside. Until I return, make yourselves comfortable." A cold gust of wind followed Simon, Brianna, Abigail, and Gillis into the castle as Simon retraced the steps he had taken as a young man through the great hall, up the stairs, and down a long corridor to where his sisters' rooms had always been. Gillis led them into an overly warm chamber at the end of the hall and pointed to a slight form in the center of a large bed.

  Simon's chest tightened as the flickering candles revealed his sister's dark hair as it framed the gray pallor of her face. She looked as near to death as any warrior he'd seen on the battlefield. Bella was young, not long past her fourteenth year. She'd been only four when he'd left. She'd changed so much during that time. Now, instead of a child, a young woman lay before him. Her body was slim and lithe and should have been brimming with vitality. The vise of terror gripped his chest. "What's wrong with her?"

  "She's been violently ill and unable to keep anything down since yesterday," said a young maid who stood by the large, curtained bed.

  Abigail moved across the chamber and knelt beside the bed. Brianna moved to the window and opened the shutters to let fresh air into the room.

  Bella's eyes were closed and she appeared asleep.

  "Bring me some hot water and some dried mint if you have any," Abigail said.

  "We do, mistress." The maid bobbed a curtsey and hurried from the chamber.

  Abigail placed a hand on the girl's forehead. "She has a fever and chills at the same time. It's almost as if…"

  "If what?" Simon asked firmly, preparing for his worst fears to come true.

  Abigail's soft gray gaze met his. "I've seen this combination before when the afflicted had been poisoned."

  "Saints above," Brianna whispered as she came to the bedside near Abigail.

  "Brother? Is that you?" a soft voice beckoned from behind him.

  Simon turned to see Caitlin framed in the doorway. During his absence his sister had blossomed into a refined beauty. Gone were her girlish curls, replaced by a sophisticated swirl of black locks highlighting her country-fresh features and sparkling eyes. "Caitlin."

  The sixteen-year-old flew into his arms and he held her tight. "My dearest sister, good to see you again," he said past the tightness in his throat. "We have much to discuss, but for now I must ask you how long has Bella been ill?"

  "Only two days." She released her tight hold on him. "I'm scared, Simon. She became so ill so fast. She cannot die."

  A familiar guilt knotted his gut, but he pushed it aside. "She will not die." He moved to the bedside with Caitlin and sat at the edge of the bed. He lifted Bella's cold hand in his and did the only thing he knew to do in this situation. He prayed. He begged God to hear his prayers, hoping, willing that Simon had not been forgotten. After all he'd suffered, he only asked this one thing…

  He was still praying when Bella groaned, and her eyelids fluttered open. She gazed around. Confusion knit her pretty brow when her gaze lit on his face. "Simon?"

  The vise around his chest eased. He squeezed her hand. "Shh, don't try to talk now."

  She tried to sit upright, then released a groan and collapsed back against the bed. A moment later her eyes opened and she cast him a weak smile. "We knew you were coming."

  Simon frowned. "How did you know when I did not even know myself until just yesterday?"

  Caitlin sat on the bed beside him. "The man you sent ahead of you told us."

  "I sent no messengers."

  Caitlin's frown matched his. "But the man… He said you would be here and left us a basket of apples that you'd sent as a greeting. We were waiting until you arrived to eat them."

  What little blood remained in Bella's cheeks vanished. "I ate one. They were too beautiful not to, and I was so very hungry."

  Swallowing the sudden dread that clogged his throat, Simon asked, "The basket of apples, where are they?"

  Caitlin stood. "They are in the kitchen belowstairs. I'll go get them from cook."

  "Make certain to ask if anyone else has eaten from the basket."

  She nodded and hurried from the chamber.

  The maid returned with the hot water and herbs. Abigail busied herself with steeping the mint in the water. When she was satisfied with the color and scent, she spooned small amounts into Bella's mouth.

  Brianna came around the bed to stand by Simon's side. In a low tone she said, "You suspect de la Roche, don't you?"

  "I should have foreseen this event. The man will strike at me any way he can." Simon swallowed to ease the aching tightness in his throat.

  "You could not have known he would go after your sisters."

  He remained silent a moment. "De la Roche has tried to kill anyone and everyone associated with the Templars. That I forgot about the family I left behind is no one's fault but my own."

  "You are with them now, Simon. That's what matters." Brianna turned her gaze to Bella. "She'll be well soon."

  He frowned. "How can you say that? Did you have a vision?"

  She shook her head. "Nay, I just … feel it."

  Simon's gaze returned to his sister's face. The faintest shade of pink had returned to Bella's cheeks. He stared eagerly at his sister, hoping for some other sign of her improved health.

  Nothing.

  "We both know how fast life can fade away." Simon clenched his fists at his sides, fighting his sudden feeling of helplessness. It was his custom to shape events in the way he wished them to go, not to surrender and do nothing at all.

  This situation would not last. His sister would heal and he would once again be in control. De la Roche might have fooled him again, but it would be the last time.

  Simon Lockhart was never a fool twice.

  Chapter Twelve

  Brianna crept through the silent hallways of the castle until she came to the great hall. Simon was still abovestairs with Bella and Abigail, and for that she was grateful. She wanted to speak to Kaden, alone.

  She found the knight at one of the long tables with the others knights. "Kaden, might I speak with you?" she asked as she approached.

  Kaden stood and excused himself
from the other knights. "Has Bella taken a turn for the worse?" he asked, his expression solemn.

  Brianna shook her head. "I need to speak with you about something else entirely." She paused as she signaled for him to follow her to the wall near the tapestry bearing four knights returning from a victorious battle. Brianna frowned at the familiarity of the scene, the knights, until she recognized her own dark red hair escaping from her helm. Her breath caught at the sight of Simon, Alan, William, and herself as they left the battle of Teba behind. Simon carried in his hands the heart of Robert the Bruce.

  "One of Simon's retainers made the tapestry for him after he and William returned to Scotland. She was quite grateful her lord had not been taken from her in a land so far away," Kaden said, breaking into her thoughts.

  "That's not how it happened," she said, her tone grim.

  "I know." Kaden studied her face. "What do you wish to speak with me about, because I doubt it is the tapestries?"

  "Simon."

  "Why?" A note of surprise colored his voice.

  "I need your promise to protect him, no matter what."

  Kaden frowned. "From what?"

  She dropped her gaze from his face. "I dreamt about his death at de la Roche's sword. There was a battle with the ten of us and hundreds of them. Simon was disarmed and the Frenchman cut off his head." She swallowed against the sudden tightness that entered her throat. "I cannot allow that to happen. Promise me that you will stay with him, protect him."

  Kaden expression softened. "It was only a dream, Brianna."

  She shook her head. "My dreams are different. They have a way of becoming reality."

  Kaden reached out and placed his hand on her arm. "I promise you, with my life, that I will protect Simon from that man, no matter what."

  She drew a sharp breath as emotion once again tightened her chest. "Thank you, Kaden, for your friendship and your loyalty." She placed her fingers on his hand. "I am relieved, sharing my dream, and the burden of protecting Simon with you." She offered the knight a weak smile. "To a different future than the one I saw."

  "To a different future," he echoed.