When All Is Said and Prayed

by E. N. Joy

  “Dang it.” She went and flopped down on the toilet lid. Now she’d have to play the waiting game and be patient until Ryan reached out to her. She couldn’t recall whether or not they were on the same time zone in the Dominican Republic as she was.

  Paige showered and got dressed. The bathroom was filled with the fresh, flowery scent of one of her favorite Bath & Body Works products. By the time she came out of the bathroom, Mr. Evans and Mrs. Evans had joined Betty in Tamarra’s room.

  “Good morning,” Paige said, exiting the bathroom.

  “Good morning to you, sweetie.” Mrs. Evans walked over and gave Paige a hug.

  “How you doing?” Mr. Evans asked Paige.

  “Just fine, sir. And yourself?” She looked from Tamarra’s father to her mother. “How are both of you?” Paige could not imagine what it must be like to wake up in the morning and not know if your child was alive or not.

  “We are just fine,” Mrs. Evans said. “It’s this one here we’re worried about.” She nodded toward Tamarra.

  “Hey, you,” Paige said, then went to give Tamarra a kiss on the forehead.

  “Good morning, girl,” Tamarra replied. “Hey, did you see who raped and killed that girl on the show last night?”

  “I was out like a log, just like you,” Paige told her.

  “Then I guess we should have DVRed it,” Tamarra said, and she and Paige laughed.

  “I’m going to go whip up a little something for breakfast,” Betty said. “I’ll make enough for everybody.” She walked to the door. “And I already know, Uncle Russ,” she said, looking at Mr. Evans. “Don’t burn the bacon.”

  Everyone laughed but Paige. It had be an inside joke. Betty exited the room.

  “That’s your niece?” Paige asked Tamarra’s father.

  “My niece-in-law,” he replied. “From my wife’s side of the family.”

  “She’s a nurse over in West Virginia,” Mrs. Evans said. “As a matter of fact, Unique used to work at the nursing home my niece works at. Ain’t that something? I mean, what are the odds of that?”

  “Trust me. I know about that whole ‘six degrees of separation’ thing,” Paige said, thinking about Blake being Miss Nettie’s son.

  “Anyway, when we found out they were sending Tamarra home to . . . for hospice, my sister, Betty’s mother, had her come up,” Mrs. Evans said. “And she’s doing it out of the kindness of her heart. God bless her soul.”

  “Even if she was charging us money,” Mr. Evans said, chiming in, “there isn’t enough money in the world to pay her for what she’s doing for us.”

  “That’s such a blessing,” Paige said. She looked at Tamarra. “Do you need me to help you get cleaned up or anything?”

  “That’s okay. My mom helps me,” Tamarra said.

  “Well, I’m here now,” Paige said. “I have someone keeping my kids for me, so I’ll at least be here the next six days.” Paige looked at Mrs. Evans. “After that she’s all yours.” She turned back to Tamarra and pointed. “But for now she’s all mine.”

  “You are a good friend, indeed,” Mrs. Evans said. “Everything Tamarra has told us about you is true. No wonder you’ve been her best friend all these years.”

  “Yeah, no wonder.” Paige winked at Tamarra.

  “Well then, the mister and I are going to head downstairs while you get her together,” Mrs. Evans said to Paige.

  “See you in a minute, Mom and Dad,” Tamarra said as her parents left the room.

  Paige watched the door close behind Tamarra’s parents. “It’s beautiful to see you interacting with your parents like this.”

  “There is nothing like the power of forgiveness,” Tamarra said.

  “Touché.” Paige smiled.

  Paige knew how hard it was for Tamarra to live with the fact that her parents blamed her for her older brother molesting her when she was a child, abuse that had started when she was just ten years old. It had resulted in Tamarra giving birth to a child she couldn’t even look at. When Tamarra had told her parents about her brother having sex with her, they’d protected him. They’d faked a divorce. Mr. Evans had had Tamarra’s brother live with him, while Mrs. Evans had raised Tamarra. Once Tamarra and her brother were of age, her parents had reunited, and they’d raised the child Tamarra had given birth to as their own. Tamarra’s estranged daughter had ended up dying in a car accident before Tamarra could ever form a relationship with her.

  Not only had Tamarra had to deal with the death of her daughter, whom her brother had fathered, but she had had to find the courage to finally forgive her brother. It was kind of like how Paige had forgiven Tamarra. Even though Tamarra forgave her brother, she still had nothing to do with him. No one could really blame her for that one. Forgiving him alone had taken a lot.

  Paige walked to the bathroom and opened the door. “Is this your towel and washcloth hanging up in here? The plum-colored ones?”

  “Yeah, those are it,” Tamarra answered.

  Paige ran some water in the sink and poured in some of Tamarra’s own Bath & Body Works shower gel. For the next half hour Paige washed Tamarra. She was about ready to call someone for assistance when she realized Tamarra was wearing a grown-up diaper. She decided against it, not wanting to make Tamarra feel embarrassed. So she said a silent prayer and changed her diaper and cleaned every nook, cranny, and crevice of Tamarra’s body. She lotioned her up with the lotion that matched the shower gel. She put a fresh nightgown on her. It was a little strenuous at times, but Paige managed.

  “You sure you don’t want to at least call my mother up here to help?” Tamarra asked her midway through the process. “Sometimes Betty even has to help her.”

  “No, I got it,” was all Paige kept saying. And finally, she did get it. Tamarra was smelling good and feeling fresh, thanks to Paige. Once Paige was finished, she went to sit down, but a few seconds later she heard the sound of a ringing cell phone coming from the bathroom.

  “Oh, my phone.” She ran into the bathroom to catch the call before it went to voice mail. She didn’t even bother wasting time by looking down at the caller ID. “Hello,” Paige answered.

  “Good morning. How are you?”

  The biggest smile ever spread across Paige’s entire face. She was so relieved. She unplugged her phone from the charger and went and sat down on the toilet lid. “I’m good, now that you’ve called,” Paige said. “Ryan, about how we left things. I’m—”

  “Look, I didn’t call to get all into that right now,” Ryan said, cutting her off. “Your mom and dad wanted to call and talk to you.”

  Before Paige could say anything, the phone had been passed to her parents.

  “Hey, Daddy’s baby girl,” Paige heard her father say through the phone. “Your mother is standing right here with me, with her ear to the phone.”

  “Hey, Daddy. Hey, Mom.” Paige chuckled at the fact that her parents had no idea they could put the phone on speaker. But she liked picturing them side by side, talking to her on the phone. “How is it there?”

  “It would be much better if you were here,” Mrs. Robinson said. “But I have to tell you that it’s beautiful!”

  “Just gorgeous. We didn’t think anything would top our trip to Puerto Rico, but this is awesome,” Mr. Robinson said.

  “How’s Tamarra?” Mrs. Robinson asked, her voice now more melancholy.

  “Hanging in there,” Paige replied.

  “Well, let her know that we are all concerned,” Mrs. Robinson said.

  “Look at all that food!” Paige could hear her father exclaim in the background. She could hear other voices too. It sounded like Ryan and his parents.

  “What a feast,” her mother said into the phone. “We’re down in the resort restaurant. Honey, you should see this spread.”

  “Well, I wish I was there to see it, Ma,” Paige said sadly. “But you guys go ahead and eat. Put Ry—”

  “Okay, honey,” Mrs. Robinson said, cutting Paige off. “We’ll talk to you later.”


  The phone went dead in Paige’s ear. She looked down at the phone. It hurt her feelings that the only reason why Ryan had called was that her parents had asked him to. It was her parents who had wanted to check in with Paige, not him. She probably would have never even heard his voice if her parents had their own cell phone and knew how to use one. The last thing Paige was going to do was sit in that bathroom and have a pity party, not with her best friend fighting for her life on the other side of the door.

  Paige stood up, but before going back out there with Tamarra, she figured she would call the Vanderdales and tell them everything that was going on. She dialed Mrs. Vanderdale’s cell phone. Mrs. Vanderdale picked up on the second ring.

  “Paige, honey,” Mrs. Vanderdale said, “I was going to give you until this afternoon, and then I was going to call you. What in the world is going on? Sam said you didn’t go to the Dominican. Something about a sick friend.”

  “Yes, that’s right. I’m still here in Ohio.” Paige gave Mrs. Vanderdale the short version of why she didn’t get on the plane.

  “Well, whatever is meant to be is meant to be. I’m going to be praying for your friend, and your and Ryan’s relationship.”

  “Thank you, Naomi. I appreciate that.”

  “The girls came over for breakfast. Do you want to speak to them?”

  Paige lit up. “Yes, let me speak to the little divas please.”

  “Okay. Hold on.”

  A few seconds later Paige could hear Mrs. Vanderdale put the phone on speaker.

  “Hi, Mommy,” the girls sang in unison.

  “Hi, babies,” Paige said. “You guys having fun?”

  “Yeah. Are you?” Adele said.

  “Well, yeah.” Paige wasn’t quite sure what to say to the girls. She thought for a second and then decided not to mention to them that she hadn’t gone out of the country.

  “Me and Norma decided you don’t have to bring us back a souvenir, since you are bringing us back a daddy,” Adele said. “Right, Norma?”

  “Right!” Norma confirmed. “Ryan will be our daddy when he gets back. He won’t be our real daddy.”

  “Our real daddy is Norman,” Adele said. “But we’re gonna have a new daddy.”

  “We’re going to have a new daddy,” the girls sang in unison.

  “Girls, tell your mommy good-bye,” Paige heard Mrs. Vanderdale say in the background.

  Mrs. Vanderdale to the rescue, Paige thought.

  “Bye, Mommy. We love you!” the girls chorused.

  “Bye. I love you guys too,” Paige said.

  Mrs. Vanderdale took the phone off speaker. There was a few seconds of silence. “What are you going to tell them? Have you talked to Ryan? Are you guys just going to go ahead and get married when he gets back?”

  Mrs. Vanderdale’s questions were hitting Paige like a tornado. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything right now.”

  “Okay, well, I won’t hold you. I’m so glad you called.”

  “Thank you, and thank you again for helping Sam with the girls.”

  “These are my grandbabies. That’s what grandmothers are for. You take care of yourself, and take care of your friend.”

  “I will. Talk to you soon.” Paige ended the call.

  She flopped back down on the toilet lid, not quite ready to leave the pity party, after all. Hearing her girls’ words frolic through her head about their souvenir being Ryan coming back as their daddy just broke her heart because she had absolutely no idea where she and Ryan stood. “Well, girls . . . ,” Paige said aloud, then exhaled. “You just might get that puppy you’ve been wanting, after all.” She had to do something to make up for the fact that they wouldn’t have a daddy . . . again.

  Chapter 32

  Paige had now spent three nights at Tamarra’s and hadn’t talked to Ryan since that one time he’d phoned her for her parents. She’d called the phone once, and his mother and father, who, unlike her parents, managed to do the basics on a cell phone, had answered. They’d just happened to have the phone in their room. They assured Paige, though, that they would let Ryan know she’d called to check in.

  Ryan’s silence truly saddened her heart, but what saddened Paige’s heart even more was the fact that Tamarra seemed to be having more and more coughing spells. She was less talkative and hadn’t even wanted to get washed up this morning. It was a fight for Betty to even change her diaper. Tamarra complained of pain. Whatever Betty had been giving her to make her comfortable was obviously no longer working. In spite of getting into a tiff with her mother, Tamarra opted to no longer take it.

  Over the past couple days Paige had lain in bed with Tamarra and had told her all that had gone on in her life right up to not boarding that plane. When Tamarra learned of the sacrifice Paige had made for her, she’d gone into a coughing and crying spell. During their many conversations Tamarra had reiterated to Paige that she had never really put on her boxing gloves to fight this HIV turned AIDS thing. And Paige hated to admit it, but as she looked in Tamarra’s eyes now as she sat by her bedside, she saw absolutely no fight at all.

  “Hey, girl,” Unique said to Tamarra as she entered the room. She looked at Paige and Tamarra’s mother, who were also in the room. She then greeted them. Unique noticed that she got a head nod and a smile, but no one really spoke. Immediately, the heavy spirit invading the room took over Unique’s being too. She instantly went into a slump. “She feeling any better since last night?” Unique asked Mrs. Evans. When Unique had left Tamarra’s bedside last evening, Tamarra had been vomiting.

  Mrs. Evans shook her head. Tamarra just lay there. Her eyes were closed, but she wasn’t asleep.

  Paige had her head down. She didn’t want anyone to see the tears that were building up in her eyes.

  Just then someone else entered the room. Mrs. Evans stood. “Hello, Pastor.” She walked over and greeted with a hug the gentleman who had just arrived, carrying a Bible. She then turned to Paige. “Paige, this is the pastor of Tamarra’s church. Reverend Fields.”

  “Pleased to meet you, Reverend Fields.” Paige went to stand.

  “Oh, no need to get up,” Reverend Fields said, using his hand to signal to Paige to stay seated. He looked at Unique. “Nice to see you again.”

  “You too, Reverend,” Unique said in a dry voice. The energy in the room was just so low.

  “Well, I came to give my sister a word of encouragement,” Reverend Fields said, looking at Tamarra and smiling. “If you ladies don’t mind, I’d like to read a scripture and then pray.”

  “Oh, we don’t mind at all,” Mrs. Evans said.

  Granted permission, the reverend opened his Bible and read from the Old Testament. After that he went into prayer. With each word he said, a powerful energy shot through the atmosphere in the room.

  “Glory!” Mrs. Evans shouted. “Ooh, I’m sorry,” she said, apologizing. She wasn’t sure whether nowadays it was against protocol to make a sound if the man of God was speaking. She hadn’t visited a church in some time.

  “It’s okay,” Reverend Fields assured her. “I know you said you don’t really go to church a lot, but when the spirit hits, it don’t care about whether or not you go to church every Sunday. All it cares about is that you know God. That you love God. That you know Jesus. That you love Jesus. That you believe the Holy Spirit is your comforter. That God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are one and the same. That Jesus died on the cross for the remission of our sins and that He rose and is at the right hand of the throne. Do you believe?”

  “Yes, my God, I believe,” Mrs. Evans said, tears falling from her eyes. She was still standing. Her hands were clasped together, and she was bouncing her body slightly.

  Reverend Fields began speaking to Tamarra. “And I need you to believe, Miss Tamarra, that the battle is not yours. That the war has already been won, and that you have the victory. The Bible says that in the end you win!” Reverend Fields said, his prayer turning into full-blown preaching. He went to Tamarra’s bedside. Even tho
ugh Tamarra didn’t open her eyes once, she was awake. Reverend Fields knew his words were penetrating her soul. He could tell when her bottom lip trembled a couple times.

  “Jesus loves us in spite of us,” Reverend Fields continued. “Tamarra, Jesus loves you in spite of you. No matter what you think about yourself. No matter what others think about you. No matter what you’ve done in your past. No matter who saw you do it. You are a child of the King. You are welcomed in His Kingdom. His casa es su casa. So when you close your eyes for the last time, when you take your last breath, know within your heart that you are going home.”

  Tamarra began to nod her belief.

  “Daughter, fear not this thing called death, because you are going home!” Reverend Fields shouted.

  Finally, Tamarra opened her eyes and streams of tears, which had been trapped beneath her lids, ran down her face. She moved her mouth, but nothing came out. She even tried to move her body, but she didn’t have any strength.

  It was so evident to Tamarra’s supporters in the room that she wished only that she could get up out of that bed and praise God. Seeing that desire and wanting to fulfill it for her best friend, Paige stood up out of her chair, walked over to her friend, and began praising God for Tamarra. She allowed the Holy Ghost to order the steps of her feet as she danced a praiseful dance.

  Within seconds, Unique was standing by Tamarra’s bedside as well. She too began to call out the name of Jesus on behalf of her former boss and friend. Before she knew it, her feet were stomping and dancing in praise as well. Next, Mrs. Evans began to praise on her daughter’s behalf. And so all the women in the room stood in the gap for their sister, friend, and daughter and did what she didn’t have the strength to do, which was stand to her feet and praise the Lord.

  Tears streamed down Tamarra’s face as she watched the women she loved intercede on her behalf. They were, indeed, the women she loved. And clearly, the women loved her as well. With friends like these, the enemy didn’t stand a chance at taking her soul.

  “My sincere condolences to you.”