by Helen Lacey
As she snuggled Tina, Marissa was overwhelmed by the sense of love she had for the child. Grady’s child. No...Liz’s child. In that moment she wasn’t sure which made her love the little girl more.
Grady was home half an hour later, and by then Tina was tucked in her bed and the older girls were fast asleep. She put more coffee on and waited for him to walk into the kitchen.
“Well?” she asked and pushed a mug across the counter.
“Brant’s okay,” Grady said and ran a hand through his already ruffled hair. “He was lucky. He’s got a concussion, a dislocated shoulder and some cuts and bruises and is staying overnight. Thank God he had his helmet on.”
“That’s good news. You must be relieved.”
“Yeah,” he said and grabbed the mug. “Brant has been through a lot. He survived three tours with the army and saw some pretty scary stuff in the Middle East, so I’d hate to think he made it home and then got seriously hurt or worse on that damned motorbike.” He gulped some coffee and let out a long sigh. “Thanks for this. And for watching over the girls.”
“It was my pleasure. We had a lovely evening reading and watching TV.” She thought how tired he looked. “Have you eaten? If not, why don’t you hit the shower and I’ll make you something.”
Grady nodded. “That would be great, thanks.”
He left the room and Marissa made swift work of a BLT sandwich on sourdough bread and put on a fresh pot of coffee. By the time he returned, he looked refreshed and clean in low-riding jeans and a white T-shirt. His feet were bare and it seemed oddly intimate somehow. It was the second time in a week she’d been in his house, his kitchen, his space, and Marissa wondered why she didn’t feel more uneasy. Normally she was on red alert when around Grady. But tonight, there was no unease. Even though he looked too gorgeous for words. The T-shirt stretched over his shoulders and across his flat stomach. His damp hair flopped over his forehead in a way that was boyish yet failed to hide the finely chiseled brow or the deep blue of his eyes.
Yes, Grady Parker did sexy without even realizing it!
“Thanks,” he said as he sat at the counter. “Everything okay here?”
Marissa nodded. “Kids are all bathed, fed and now in bed. And Rex checked in, which was good of him.”
Grady wrapped his hands around his mug and smiled. “He’s something of a fan of yours, I think.”
“I like him, too. He’s very polite and sweet.”
Grady laughed. “Sweet? I’ll have to tell him that. Most days he’s an ornery old cuss. But he’s good at his job and like part of the family now.”
Marissa sighed. “Yeah...family is important.”
Grady looked at her. It was one of those deep, impossibly intense gazes of his that she couldn’t break free from, even though she knew she should. “You miss your mom?”
She nodded. “Yes. She did her best raising me on her own. It couldn’t have been easy.”
Grady’s gaze softened. “Have you ever thought of trying to find your father?”
She shrugged. “No point. I don’t know anything about him. His name or where he’s from. My mother would never tell me. She said it didn’t matter. So I can only assume I’m better off not knowing, if that makes sense.”
He sighed. “You know, you’re part of this family, too... You always have been. Even though Liz is gone.” His mouth creased in a gentle smile. “And even though we sometimes have a slight communication problem, you’re very much a part of things here.”
Emotion clutched her throat. Grady being sentimental was a new experience for her. And she wasn’t about to admit how much she liked it. Not to him. And certainly not to herself.
“Thanks.”
“I know you’ve probably felt alone since Liz died,” he said quietly. “And with your marriage breaking up and now that Miss Violet is getting older, it’s understandable that—”
“Are you trying to make me cry?”
“What?” he asked, looking genuinely surprised. “Of course not.”
Heat burned the back of her eyes. “Then stop being so nice to me.”
He slammed his fist onto the counter. “Damned if I do. Damned if I don’t.”
She came around the counter and placed the sandwich on the table. “I guess so.”
He laughed softly. “You’re kidding me, right? Maybe there’s a middle road?”
“There probably is,” she said. “We just never seem to have been able to find it.”
“We’ve found it now,” he shot back. “I’m being nice. You’re being nice. See, it’s easier than you think.”
Nothing was easy when it came to Grady. “I guess I’m not very good at trusting people these days.”
He took a bite of the sandwich and then rested back in the chair. “I meant what I said—I would never intentionally make you cry. Or hurt you. That’s not the kind of man I am.”
Marissa’s throat choked up. There was such absolute honesty in his words. There was nothing mean or cruel about Grady. He was strong and confident. He was the polar opposite of her ex-husband. He would never physically hurt her or any woman. He had integrity. A code of honor that was ingrained within him. He could be trusted. And just when she’d convinced herself she’d never trust a man again, Marissa realized that she had done exactly that. In that moment she felt more vulnerable, more naked and more visible than she ever remembered feeling before.
And she couldn’t have stopped the tears in her eyes even if she’d wanted to.
Chapter Five
Grady was up and out of his seat in a microsecond. He reached out and grasped Marissa’s shoulders, looking down at her. The tears tipped over her lids and ran down her cheeks as her shoulders shook.
“What?” he asked softly, steadying her so she wouldn’t fall. “Marissa, what is it? Tell me.”
She met his gaze and the despair in her brown eyes cut through him. “Oh, Grady... I can’t...”
Grady’s insides constricted. She’d never spoken his name like that before. On a whisper. On a sigh. And he’d never seen her look more vulnerable. Or more lost. Something was wrong.
“You can. What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked gently. “If I’ve said something to upset you, I’m sorry. I certainly didn’t—”
“No,” she said and shook her head. “It’s nothing you’ve done.”
“But someone’s upset you,” he said, too afraid to release her while she was clearly so emotional. He had another thought. “Was it Rex? Or—”
“No,” she refuted quickly. “He didn’t upset me. He’s a nice man. It’s me... I guess I’m not as strong as I used to be. So much has happened and I think I’m simply tired and worn-out.”
Grady didn’t quite believe her. There was something in her expression...anxiety...fear. Strange, but he’d never thought Marissa to be afraid of anything. She was always in control. Always self-assured. But the woman in front of him was not the Marissa he believed he knew. She’d come home different. Changed. Something had happened to her... And then it occurred to him, as if he’d been hit with a freight train, and he realized he should have worked it out sooner. One question instantly burned inside Grady.
One question he didn’t want to ask but was compelled to.
“Marissa...what did he do to you?”
She stilled instantly and pulled back, putting space between them. Grady dropped his hands and looked at her. And in that moment he was sure...certain that his suspicions were correct.
“Nothing.”
“You’re lying,” Grady said quietly, watching as she stepped back again. “You’re lying to protect him.”
Fresh tears filled her eyes, but she remained silent. Tension stretched between them and Grady pushed back the rising anger fueling his blood. Because he should have known, he should have figure
d that something important had brought her back to Cedar River. And not just her aunt’s accident.
He’d never liked Simon Burke. He’d never trusted the other man or thought he was worth a lick of anything. He rallied himself to ask another question, one that made him sick to the stomach.
“He hurt you, didn’t he?”
His words hung in the air, but finally, after what seemed like minutes, she nodded. It seemed to take all her strength. All her resolve. And then she sagged like a rag doll. Moving quickly, Grady hauled her into his arms, enfolding her gently. She didn’t resist. Didn’t do anything other than wilt against him. He smoothed her hair with one hand and held on to her waist with the other.
She stayed like that for several minutes. When she finally pulled back, she looked relieved, as if some great burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Grady remained where he was until she sat down and then pulled a chair out and sat beside her. He resisted the urge to hold her hand and waited...waited until she took a breath and spoke.
“He hit me,” she admitted quietly. “That last day.”
Rage rose upward in his chest, but Grady pushed it back down. He had more questions. He wanted more answers. “Had he done it before?”
She shook her head fractionally. “He’d been verbally abusive for a while...even before I found out about the affairs. But on the day I left, the day I told him I was leaving and wanted a divorce, he was angrier than usual...he yelled more than usual. He said he wouldn’t give me an easy divorce, and then he slapped me hard a couple of times.” She pointed to her cheek. “Right here. And then grabbed me and put his hands around my throat and started to...” Her words trailed off and she drew in a shuddering breath. “He started to choke me. I think he just wanted to scare me...which he did.”
Grady’s hands fisted in his lap as a turbulent, gathering rage whirled through his system and rooted deep into his blood and bones. He usually deplored violence, but if Simon Burke had been in the vicinity he would have happily punched him in the face.
“You got away, though?”
She nodded. “I think he realized what he was doing and he released me. Not before he hit me again. And again. And then he went to the kitchen and smashed all the mugs...you know, the ones I’d made over the years. He left one on the shelf... I always thought that strange...like he was making a statement about still controlling me.” She sighed heavily. “Anyway, I moved out that day and checked into a hotel.”
“Did you call the police?”
“I filed a complaint,” she said and sighed again. “But Simon hired this whiz-bang lawyer and the case was thrown out.”
Grady’s rage returned. “What happened then?”
“Simon was my boss, so he saw to it that I lost my job and also that I wouldn’t get another in the same industry. I quickly became Madison Avenue poison and after a few months realized I was never going to be able to continue with my career. So I leased an apartment and did some temp work for a few more months. And then Aunt Violet had her accident, so I came back to Cedar River...divorced, out of a job, out of options.”
Grady grasped her hand. It was small and easily fit inside his. Her skin was soft and he gripped her fingers gently. “I know you already know this, Marissa, but not all men hit. Most of us spend our life knowing it’s our job to protect the women we care about.”
“And even the ones you don’t?” she asked tremulously.
Grady frowned. “Is that what you think? That I don’t care about you?” He squeezed her hand. “Of course I care, Marissa. And if you’d called me, if you’d reached out and said you needed help, I would have come to you. I would have gotten you out of there.”
Tears filled her eyes again. “I know you would have. And thank you for saying that,” she said on a sigh. “Unfortunately my ex-husband doesn’t possess that same moral compass as you.”
Grady kept her hand within his. “He was never worthy of you, Marissa. And I think over time you’ll come to know that.”
“You’re right,” she said and looked to where their hands were linked. “Thank you for listening. For understanding. I haven’t ever told anyone what happened. I was too...ashamed.”
Grady frowned. “Of what? Being married to a jerk?”
“Of not seeing him for who he was. What he was. I married a man I hardly knew. My boss, no less. A man with no scruples in business. So I should have known better.”
Her pain was palpable, and it cut Grady down deep. “You don’t still love him, do you?”
“No,” she replied quickly. “Of course not.”
He rubbed her palm. “Then you’re free, Marissa. Free of him. Free of the past.”
Grady reached up and touched her cheek, gently wiping at the tears on her face. She didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. The moment was incredibly intimate, and as much as he tried to fight what was going on in his head, it felt like a prelude to something.
Like a kiss...
Grady looked at her mouth, saw her lips tremble and knew she was thinking the same thing. He could have kissed her then... He could have moved forward and captured her mouth with his own. He wanted to. Longed to. Part of him needed it as he needed air in his lungs. He could have tasted her lips and drawn her tongue into his mouth. But it would mean too much. Change too much. It would make him feel again, when feeling was the last thing he wanted.
“I’ll get Rex to follow you home,” he said, dropping his hand as he released her and stood.
She remained where she was, breathing heavily, looking at him with widened eyes.
“There’s no need for—”
“There’s every need,” he said, cutting her off.
“Okay,” she said quietly. “Thank you.”
He watched as she collected her things and pulled keys from her bag. Grady called Rex and asked him to get her home safely, and within minutes she was gone. Out of his house. Out of his life.
Who am I kidding?
Every day, every moment, every second that he spent with Marissa drew them closer together. As long as they spent time with each other they would always be pulled closer. It felt...inevitable. As if some great force had aligned to suddenly make him see the truth that had been glaring at him all week. That he wanted her. In his arms.
In his bed.
I need to stay away from her...
Which wasn’t going to happen. Not with the girls, his mom and fate playing their hands.
I need to get control over this...
And that, he figured as he prepared to take the coldest shower in history, wasn’t going to happen, either.
* * *
I almost kissed Grady last night.
Marissa was still thinking about it as she drove into town late Friday morning. She had shopping to do, a visit with Aunt Violet planned and a promise to meet Rex back at her cottage around two so he could help her move the broken pieces of an old cart wheel that was dredged deeply into one of the flower beds. He’d offered to help the night before when he’d walked her to her door, and Marissa had been touched by his chivalry.
Aunt Violet was in good spirits when she arrived. Her aunt was out of bed and sitting on a chair by the window, her leg propped up in a moon boot. Marissa gave her a hug and sat in the chair opposite.
“How are you?” she asked, noticing her aunt’s perky expression. At eighty-two, Violet was silver-haired and plump, and always wore a beaming smile. Marissa loved her dearly and was delighted to see how she’d bounced back from her accident.
“Fighting fit,” Violet said and tapped her leg. “Be happier when I get this off so I can start playing croquet again.”
“Three more weeks,” Marissa reminded her and held up three fingers. “That’s what the doctor said.”
Violet nodded and smiled. “So, have you started packing up my things? There’s three we
eks’ worth of work for you. Keep whatever furniture you want,” Violet said, her eyes twinkling. “I’ve decided to buy new things for my new home. I’ve got some brochures here for you to look at.” She sighed and passed Marissa a leaflet. “Dreamscape Villas...doesn’t that sound fancy?”
Marissa flicked through the pages. “It certainly does. It looks lovely. And I’ve decided to start in the yard first and then tackle the house. Rex is coming over this afternoon to help me move the—”
“Rex Travers?” Violet asked quickly, cutting her off. “Grady’s foreman?”
Marissa nodded. “Yes, that’s him.”
Violet’s brown eyes darkened a little, as if she disapproved. But she couldn’t possibly disapprove of Rex. Her aunt’s expression shifted quickly and she smiled. “That’s very neighborly of him. So,” she said stiffly, changing the subject, “when are you bringing those adorable girls back to visit me?”
“I’ll ask Grady,” Marissa replied and ignored the way her skin heated by simply saying his name.
I almost kissed Grady last night...
There it was again. Swirling around in her head. In a moment of madness, when she was touched by his kindness and understanding and had felt the strength of his arms around her, she’d been tempted...sorely tempted to press closer and feel his mouth on hers. He’d been thinking it, too, she was sure of it. Desire had thrummed through the air, creating a kind of crazy alchemy of the senses.
And if they had kissed? What then?
Would it have meant anything? Or everything? One thing she knew for sure—they could never have gone back to being what they were.
Which is what, exactly?
Not really friends. But more than acquaintances. Linked together forever because of Liz. Two people in each other’s lives only because of three little girls they both loved. And what of the future? What if Grady remarried? How would she feel about Marissa’s role in their lives? Not an aunt...not really anything...just someone who’d made a promise to a dying woman.