Sapphire

by Sarah Olson

  “Your daughter?” he asked after she walked out of the room.

  “Yes,” I said. “Aria this is Tristan.”

  She waved at him shyly.

  “She’s beautiful,” he said.

  “Thank you.”

  “You must be a very proud mother,” Tristan said with a smile. “I can see Richard in her eyes.”

  I swallowed. “I know.”

  Tristan smiled, a smile that reminded me of the days we used to play in the forest. “So you and James now?” he asked slyly.

  “What?” I gasped. “What are you talking about? You come over for five minutes and suddenly you want to start making guesses about my personal life?”

  “I’m not blind. Do you have feelings for him?” A more serious tone sounded in his voice this time.

  I watched him carefully for a moment and then averted my eyes. “I don’t know,” I replied, finding it was the most sincere answer I could give him.

  He was back in my life for only a short while and already it was as if he had never left. Tristan had always had a knack for reading me like a book. He always knew what I was thinking, and that had only added to the pain when he had to leave Charlotte and me.

  “I know.” He looked into my eyes. “You need to go and tell him you love him.”

  “What?” I asked in surprise. “I told you I don’t know if I do.”

  “And I may not have seen you in years, but we still grew up together and I know when you’re lying. Even if you don’t think you are.”

  “Tristan—”

  “I saw the way you looked at him when he left. I have seen the way he looks at you. You may not see it yet, but you do love him.”

  I looked down into my hands, unable to find words.

  Tristan sighed and stood up when it was clear I was not going to say more. “I have to go meet my father and some of the council but I’ll visit you again sometime soon. Just think about what I said.”

  I looked up at him.

  He smiled. “Take care of yourself, Layla. Goodbye.”

  He left the room and I was now alone with Aria. I held her in my arms as she dozed—the same questions that had been haunting me for days rattling my mind. James had changed since we had crossed the mountains together and I did not understand why. I also did not understand why he made me so nervous and comfortable at the same time. These conflicting feelings were going to get the better of me. I was suddenly very tired and all I wanted to do was sleep. I laid Aria down next to me and as I replayed Tristan’s words in my mind, I fell asleep.

  My dreams were of memories, but not of Tristan or Richard. They were of James. I dreamt of the first time I met him but as I faced his anger again, I saw the tired young man and not the grim general. I saw myself through his point of view. The girl that plans to take Asteria back had been based on was pregnant with the enemy’s child. In a flash, I was suddenly in the hall of King Darius’s castle watching James cradle Aria with a genuine smile. When I entered the room, his smile vanished. I went to say something but the room became a blinding white light and I was on the mountains.

  James was apologizing for not waking me when Duke had moved. I watched myself walk away from him. When I looked at James, his sternness was gone and a look of regret clouded his eyes. He was mad at himself for upsetting me.

  My eyes flickered open and I sat up. A gust of wind blew through the window where I saw the ominous clouds building for a thunderstorm. I thought back to my dream and it struck me that I had made myself believe I hated James because I was afraid I would fall for him the way I had for Richard. It was the exact thing Charlotte had told me I was doing. I had ignored every moment James’s emotion broke through the mask he had tried so hard to hide behind. In the same way, I was hiding behind Aria and my duty to my people as princess.

  Richard had broken my heart the way Emily had broken James’s. It was as if we were both afraid to move on because of the pain it could cause. Since the moment we had met, there had always been something between us—a force that I struggled against with all my might. Something I was not going to fight anymore. For once, I knew what I wanted and what I felt. Tristan was right. I was in love with James.

  Chapter 47

  I GOT OUT OF bed and stood. Dull pain throbbed in my side as I went to my wardrobe and put on a riding dress. I pulled out a hooded cloak and tied it around my neck just in case I did not beat the rain. Thunder rumbled in the distance and I watched through the window as villagers headed indoors.

  I heard Betsy humming in her room and peeked in to find her sewing. Quietly, I placed Aria in her bed and then snuck out the back door. Avoiding the windows from Betsy’s room, I made my way to the command tent. Rebels watched me curiously as I passed in between the tents. A guard stood in front of the command one.

  “Is the general here?” I asked.

  “No, your Highness,” he said.

  “Do you know where I could find him? I need to talk to him.”

  “I believe he went out into the forest a few hours ago,” he said.

  “Thank you.” I turned quickly and hurried away.

  If James was in the forest, I knew where he would be. I went into the barn and saddled up Dusk. Betsy would be furious if she knew I was riding, but I did not care. I figured if I had Dusk walk, I would be fine. I mounted her, sending fresh pain through my side but gritted my teeth and bore it—I had to get to James. As I rode out into the forest, the dark blue-gray clouds rumbled overheard as the storm moved in.

  I knew the way by heart and came across James’s horse tied to a tree by the entrance to the caves. Carefully, I crawled slowly through the cave clenching my teeth through the pain in my side. It was bearable, but I had to be careful. When I reached the tunnel, I followed the glowing stream out into Midnight Dell. I found James sitting by one of the trees closest to the lake polishing his sword. My heart leapt at the sight of him and a knot formed in my stomach.

  “James?” I said.

  He looked up and jumped to his feet. “What are you doing here?” he asked, concern filling his voice. “I thought you said you can’t be out of bed yet. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I said. “Honestly. I just needed to talk to you.”

  “About what?” he asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

  “I was talking to Tristan, and—”

  “I heard you,” he said. “Did the two of you figure out how much you’ve always loved each other yet? I should have seen it, the way you risked your life to save him.”

  I blinked back in surprise. I did not understand how he had assumed that.

  “That’s not what I was going to say,” I began, feeling shot down.

  “After all, I’m only a friend,” James said, ignoring me.

  “I didn’t mean that,” I said, realizing he had heard me.

  “Whatever you say,” he turned and started to walk away as the crashing thunder got nearer.

  “James!” I yelled after him. “I love you!”

  He stopped and turned to look at me.

  “I love you, James,” I said, quieter this time. “I just didn’t realize it. I was scared to let someone else into my life the way I let Richard. When he broke my heart, I thought it would never heal, but it did and you stole it. I just didn’t want to believe it so I pretended I never felt anything for you.”

  He stood there watching me carefully with his icy blue eyes as if he could not believe what he was hearing.

  I suddenly felt nervous as the thought that he might not feel the same way about me—embarrassed I had come out here to tell him I loved him only to make a fool of myself. What if he hadn’t tried to kiss me that day in the castle?

  “If you don’t feel the same—”

  But I never finished because James had closed the gap between us and pressed his lips to mine. His hands tangled themselves in my hair as he held me to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer as I experienced the most powerful kiss I had ever had. If I had not been sure yet if I felt
everything I said I did, I knew it now.

  Thunder crashed overhead and the clouds released their rain over us. James slid his arms down around my waist and pulled me closer as I ran my fingers through his hair never wanting this moment to end.

  After what seemed an eternity, he pulled back. I stared into his eyes in silence trying to catch my breath as the rain poured around us.

  “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that,” he said loudly so I could hear him over the rain.

  “And I wish I had sooner,” I said, the heat from his lips still lingering on mine.

  “Better late than never,” James said, taking me into his arms. “I love you, Layla.”

  I hugged him back suddenly feeling safer and more loved than I had in a long time.

  “We should probably get some shelter,” he said as lightning split the sky.

  James led me to the entrance of the cave where we sat down covering ourselves with my wet cloak. I leaned my head on his shoulder as we stared at the rain and the darkening sky. The trees became shadows as night crept over the land. I knew Betsy would be wondering where I went but I did not want to leave.

  “We can go back,” he said.

  “I don’t want to,” I whispered.

  “Good,” he said, pulling me closer, careful not to touch my wound.

  I laid my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and that was the first night I fell asleep in the arms of the one I loved.

  Chapter 48

  I WOKE TO THE sound of chirping birds and the gurgle of the stream running through the cave. As I remembered the night before, my heart swelled. James was mine and I was his. We were meant for each other. I looked up and saw that he was still asleep with his arm holding me close. He looked so peaceful when he slept. It was as if all his worries had left him. I placed my head back on his chest listening to the steady thump of his heart, the heart that now belonged to me. His arm moved and he pushed the hair from my face. I looked up at him and saw that his stunning blue eyes were open.

  He smiled. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning,” I replied, reaching up to kiss his lips. I let my hand brush over his scar.

  “You have got to be the most beautiful sight I’ve ever woken up to,” he said.

  I blushed.

  “And I think Betsy is going to kill you,” he said with a laugh.

  I rolled my eyes and sunk back down next to him. “Way to kill the moment.”

  “Sorry,” he said. “I’ll take the heat for keeping you out all night.”

  We lay there in silence listening to the breeze rustle the leaves. Birds perched on the branches sang as they greeted the morning sun’s warm rays.

  “James?” I asked, tracing his chest through his still damp shirt.

  “Mmm?” he said.

  “Last night I realized I was in love with you,” I said. “But when did you know you were in love with me?”

  James sighed. “The day you volunteered to go on the mission to get Richard. And then when you told me you wanted me to go around the mountains and not cross with you, I was so worried.”

  “You were?” I asked.

  “Yes,” he said. “All I could do was think about the way you looked when you came off the mountains the first time you crossed alone. Something kept telling me it was a bad idea and that something was going to happen. I should have just kept you and Mitchell with us.”

  He slid his hand over my wound as if he were protecting it.

  “In the tunnel when you told me that you never hated me. Why did you make me believe that you did?”

  “From the moment you walked into my life, I knew you could never remain just a princess to me,” he said. “And while you are beautiful, that wasn’t what captivated me. It was strange, and you might think I am crazy, but I was drawn to you and I was fearful because of it. I had been through enough with Emily and then my father.”

  “That’s a lot to admit, General,” I said jokingly.

  “Well, it’s the truth.”

  “So you think I’m beautiful?” I asked batting my eyelashes flirtatiously.

  James laughed. “Yes, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”

  I blushed at his words.

  James shook his head and smiled. “But now that I answered your questions, answer mine.”

  “Okay,” I said nervously.

  “Did you ever have anything with Tristan?”

  “No. He has always been like a brother to me.”

  “So you don’t think—had I never come in the picture—that you would have been with him when he returned?” James said.

  “I suppose it would have been possible but only if my life had gone very differently.”

  “As in if you never met Richard.”

  When he said Richard’s name, it seemed to drip with poison.

  “Yes, that and if I wasn’t a princess.”

  We stayed silent for a few minutes.

  “Did you love him?” James asked quietly.

  “I thought I did,” I answered. “But I had never felt that way about anyone and I didn’t really know what love was. But now that I’m with you, I don’t think I’ve ever loved this way.”

  James smiled. “Good.”

  We lay a while longer in silence. I watched the colors let off by the stream dance across the cave walls and ceiling. I began to drift back to sleep when James sighed.

  “I know you will hate to hear this, but I think we should go before someone sends out a search party,” he said. “I get the feeling you didn’t tell Betsy you went out.”

  “Fine,” I sighed. I sat up, feeling fresh pain in my side again. “Either way, I think I need a new bandage.”

  James stood and helped me up. “Let’s go get you one then,” he said kissing my forehead.

  I closed my eyes. I could definitely get used to this.

  Betsy did want to kill me when I got back.

  “Where have you been?” she yelled angrily. “I know you are eighteen years old now, but you are injured and can’t run out on me like that without a word.”

  James entered behind me.

  “Oh,” Betsy said. “Forgive me, General. I had no idea she was with you.”

  “It’s all right Mrs. Fallon,” he said with a smile. “I apologize for keeping her out all night. I better head back to the camp now and I think Layla needs her bandages changed.”

  “I’m sure she does,” Betsy said sarcastically.

  With that, he kissed my lips gently, and left.

  There was no way for Betsy to hide the shock registering on her face.

  I floated into my room and collapsed on the bed.

  “Layla,” Betsy said, following me. “You and James?”

  “Yes,” I said. “Isn’t it wonderful?”

  She ignored me and continued, “Please don’t tell me you’ve already slept with him.”

  “Oh no!” I gasped, surprised by her accusation. “I haven’t and I won’t until I marry him.”

  “Good,” she said, taking out new bandages. “Come on, let’s change those.”

  ☐☐☐☐

  For the next few days, when James was not in the camp, he was with Aria and me. Aria loved him. He threw her in the air and paid attention to anything she wanted to show him. He did not care she was Richard’s daughter.

  “As far as I’m concerned,” James said, “she’s your daughter, not his.”

  I smiled. “I want you to know something. If I could take back everything with Richard, I would—but then I wouldn’t have Aria.”

  “I know.”

  Aria had fallen asleep in his arms.

  “So what does Davorin think about all this?” I asked. “I haven’t seen him.”

  “Well, he was a little upset since I didn’t let him come to the Masquerade Ball with us, but he got over it and is taking care of a lot of stuff for me so I can spend some time with you,” James answered. “He says I am way overdue for a break.”

  I l
aughed. “Why was he upset?”

  “Because he’s not the type of man who would ever want to pass up a chance to go to a ball where he can dance with beautiful women.”

  I laughed.

  “But despite that, he’s fine with it. When I told him, he laughed and said he saw it coming.”

  I smiled.

  “And then he wanted to know what we did, exactly, the other night.”

  “What?” I asked, laughing.

  “That’s Davorin,” James said with a smirk.

  “You know Betsy accused me of having slept with you,” I said.

  James looked down at Aria. “Sounds like she has little faith in my intentions.”

  “I doubt it’s your intentions she doesn’t trust,” I sighed. “It’s not like I’ve been known for making the best decisions.”

  “Don’t say that, Layla,” James said. “We all make mistakes.”

  “Well, have you ever been intimate with another woman? Perhaps with Emily?” I asked before I could stop myself.

  “You mean did I sleep with her?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

  I nodded. An uncertainty crept into my mind and I suddenly was not sure I wanted to hear the answer.

  He watched me carefully. “No. It never got that far. And truthfully, after all the problems she caused me, I decided I really needed to be sure before I made that commitment.”

  “Like being married first?” I asked.

  “Yes—I’m not Davorin.”

  I leaned back feeling shame wash over me. While part of me was glad to hear he had not slept with Emily, another part of me wished he had. It was as if my mistakes would not have been so unbearable if James had made them as well. But here he was a wonderful and respectable man, and that notion only made me hate myself that much more.

  James stood up and took Aria to her room. When he returned, he sat down and put his arm around me. “What’s wrong?”

  “I just—I feel terrible,” I said.

  “Is your wound bothering you?” he asked, concern filling those beautiful blue eyes.

  “No, it’s not that,” I said. “It’s just when I was with Richard, I thought I was going to marry him so I didn’t see a problem with it. I thought there was a commitment. We were engaged! It also happened so fast I did not have a chance to really think things through. Now, here you are telling me you waited and I have to be the one that did not. It’s like I’m saying you weren’t worth the wait.”