Being Mary Bennet Blows

by Mary Strand

  My other thought was . . . Josh who?

  But only for about two seconds, before Liz knocked her chair over backward and raced over, grabbing the neck of the guitar out of Dad’s hand.

  “Liz!” I grabbed it back.

  She grinned. “I figured you’d be busy with Guitar Hero. Even a prodigy like you can’t do everything.”

  Dad held up a hand. “She can’t do everything, perhaps, but she can be the first to try out each of her new gifts.” He smiled at me. “As long as you give me a shot at Guitar Hero before the evening is over.”

  “Howard!”

  We all turned to see Mom standing, her face crimson, her hands propped on her hips. In other words, battle mode.

  Dad patted her shoulder. “Don’t worry, dear. I’m sure Mary will give you a chance to try Guitar Hero, too.”

  “This is not what you told me—”

  The phone in the kitchen rang, interrupting both Mom and the death glare she kept shooting at Dad.

  Please don’t let it be Josh. Not that it would be. Unless he was calling from Penelope’s.

  Cat ran to the kitchen before anyone else could make a move. We all froze in place, silent, waiting to see who it was. We didn’t find out quickly. Finally, Mom shook a finger at Dad and started for the kitchen just as Cat poked her head back into the dining room. “Uh, it’s kinda for Mary, but she wants to talk to Mom first.”

  Before I could ask Cat who could possibly be calling both me and Mom—Grandma Gerber? Aunt Molly?—Mom ripped the cordless phone out of Cat’s hand and barked a hello.

  Her forehead crinkled in confusion, then her entire face lit up. “Lydia! Oh my goodness. You’re finally calling home. I’ve been trying to get your phone number from—” She paused, listening. “I don’t understand. What do you mean? How?” She paused again, but the death glare was back in full force, shooting straight at Dad. “He wouldn’t.”

  So Mom knew. Finally.

  Jane and Liz looked at each other, then shot out of the room as the screaming started. I followed hard on their heels, guitar in my hand, but the Guitar Hero box still sat on the dining room table.

  Lydia might’ve wanted to talk to me on my birthday—which didn’t sound like the Lydia I’d always known—but right now I just wanted to stay alive and out of Mom’s range.

  Let Dad fend for himself.

  Chapter 17

  [A]s she was no longer mortified by comparisons between her sisters’ beauty and her own, it was suspected by her father that she submitted to the change without much reluctance.

  — Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, Volume III, Chapter Nineteen

  World War Three raged downstairs all evening and, from the sound of it, at least half the night. Thursday morning, the uproar left me without even a taste of Guitar Hero, totally disgusted with Mom and Dad, and dead to the world.

  Dad finally woke me up half an hour before school started. Mom had already left for work, and Cat was apparently hoping I’d oversleep so she could claim the Jeep for herself.

  Brat.

  I scrambled downstairs, dressed but still half asleep, and headed into the kitchen for a Pop-Tart on the run.

  Cat called out from the front hall. “What’s the matter? Can’t the birthday girl drag her ass out of bed in the morning? Too tired from playing Guitar Hero all night?”

  Ignoring her, I grabbed the Pop-Tart and slid past Cat at the front door. Blinking, I turned to take another look at her. She tottered outside on nosebleed heels she must’ve stolen from Mom—and a short skirt? What? Dressing like Lydia was nothing new for Cat, but she’d always drawn the line at short skirts. Cat had gorgeously thick, long brown hair that anyone would envy, but short skirts weren’t her best look.

  I shook my head.

  “What? You think you’re the new fashion guru around here? Not in this lifetime.”

  Like I’d ever claim that title. What little I was doing right these days was totally thanks to Jane and Liz, and everyone knew it. Except maybe Josh.

  I unlocked the Jeep and got in. Cat followed a few moments later, still grumbling.

  I glanced at her sideways. “What’s with you, anyway?”

  She sniffed, then wiped her nose on her sleeve. Also not her best look. “You.”

  I blinked. “Me? My life barely intersects yours, and that’s only when we ride to school together.”

  “Next year we won’t have to.”

  Thank God for small favors. But would Jane and Liz and I all have to share the Prius? Oh, wait. They’d be in their new apartment, and they’d take the Prius, along with the contents of Dad’s wallet.

  I smiled at Cat, but not sweetly. “Bummer for you. I’ll have to take the Jeep to the U of M, which leaves you on foot.” I couldn’t help laughing.

  “No way! Lydia will be back by then, and it’ll be two against one. We get the Jeep.”

  “Sorry, babe.” Yikes. After hanging out with Liz so much lately, I was even starting to sound like her. “I have a feeling Lydia’s opinion won’t count for much. You know how felons lose the right to vote?”

  Come to think of it, Cat probably wouldn’t know that.

  “You are so funny. Like, not.” Cat turned to stare out the window, reminding me of a caged prisoner. In fact, a bit like Lydia. “Lydia is gonna come home and rule the world, just like she always did.”

  “Mom’s world, maybe, but even Mom has her limits.”

  I hoped.

  “You just think you’re so cool because Jane and Liz and even Dad are falling all over you these days. But you’re not. It was just your birthday, and it’s over. Besides, they just feel sorry for you.”

  That was basically my own theory, but somehow it sounded worse coming from Cat. I tried to brush it off, even though I’d rather open the passenger door and push Cat out as we sped around a corner. “Don’t worry. You already told me I’m not all that. I got it the first time.”

  I pulled into the school parking lot, and Cat hopped out without another word. I followed her into school, watching her try to make her butt sway for the benefit of all the guys without toppling off her heels. It was close.

  Had I looked like that the other day when I wore my short skirt? No. For one thing, I’d worn flat sandals. For another, I’m pretty sure I don’t sway. At all.

  On the other hand, Cat might be a twit, but she and Lydia had a lot more experience than I did at hooking guys. A fifth grader would have more experience.

  I’d hooked exactly one, and he’d thrown me back.

  Which was fine, I told myself. Josh had saved me from the fate of being sweet eighteen, and he hadn’t made me pay for the favor by doing his roller coaster project for him. Although he’d certainly asked several times.

  But who needed guys? I had Guitar Hero! Whenever Dad and Liz didn’t steal it, at least.

  I walked into school trying to count my blessings, such as they were, and trying to ignore the things in my life that weren’t perfect. With enough determination and hard work, you could get rid of the things that weren’t perfect, couldn’t you? I mean, Lydia was gone for at least a year, wasn’t she?

  I grinned at that thought just as I reached my locker.

  Josh was standing next to it, waiting for me.

  “Hey, birthday girl.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yesterday. But hey yourself.”

  “I tried calling you last night. The phone at your house was busy, and your cell phone isn’t listed in the school directory.”

  Maybe because no one except Mom had ever called me.

  But I didn’t say that.

  “It was a tough night to reach anyone in my house.” After Lydia’s call, Mom had taken periodic breaks from screaming at Dad to call every friend and relative she knew—and maybe a few people she didn’t—to sob about “poor Lydia.” Now, thanks to Mom’s frantic dial finger, the entire world knew Lydia was in reform school.

  “Did you do anything special for your birthday?”

  I shrugged, not knowing whe
ther I should mention the electric guitar or Guitar Hero. I didn’t know if Josh liked me, or why. If he knew I had Guitar Hero, it’d be just another reason for him to hang out with me that didn’t involve me.

  Of course, if Penelope found out I had Guitar Hero, she’d buy it for herself the next day.

  “I, uh, got Guitar Hero for my birthday.”

  Mary, you weak, slobbering twit!

  Josh’s eyebrows went up, reminding me of Dad. “You did? Wow. We should play sometime.”

  I was so stupid. “We don’t—”

  “I’ve got Guitar Hero, too. I could give you some pointers if you want.”

  I just stared at him, wondering if he’d invite Penelope, too, and make it a cozy little three-way. Gross.

  He glanced down, adjusting his grip on the books in his arms. “But we don’t have to.”

  What was it with Josh? He couldn’t decide between Penelope and me? Just because she kept dressing to match me?

  The bell for first period was about to ring, but I didn’t move. “What do you want, Josh?”

  “Want?” He put his hand against his chest, as if my question was so shocking. “Uh, what do you mean?”

  I slammed my locker. “Maybe I don’t feel like connecting the dots for you.”

  I headed to class and, surprisingly, Josh kept pace with me. “Is this about the roller coaster?”

  I swung around to glare at him, and I might’ve rolled my eyes. “You’re joking, right?”

  “I know I keep asking, but I think we’d make a good team.”

  “A good roller coaster team?”

  “Sure.” Josh let me go ahead of him into class. “Why not?”

  Why not? What was all that kissing we’d done two days ago? Glancing into our classroom, I didn’t plan to ask Josh that question now. Or ever. What was the point? Josh wanted me to help with his Physics grade. Maybe he’d fallen under the spell of my short skirt on Tuesday, or maybe he’d wanted to work on the roller coaster but got distracted. Or maybe it was a pity kiss; he’d finally figured out exactly how pathetic Mary Bennet was, and my birthday was coming up and all.

  I didn’t like any of those options. But I didn’t have to hang around Josh waiting for the options to improve. I also didn’t have to beg.

  Too bad I had to do my roller coaster project, which was due in less than three weeks. Because otherwise I’d totally blow off Josh.

  I’m pretty sure.

  Friday after school, I trudged through the school parking lot on my way to the Jeep, Cat walking her usual fifteen feet ahead of me. I couldn’t help wondering how she could possibly think my reputation tainted her social standing more than Lydia’s did, but whatever. I was stuck with Cat for the duration.

  I watched as Cat hopped into the driver’s seat. “What do you think you’re doing? Dad said I’m supposed to do all the driving.”

  She locked the doors and shouted through the window. “Since no one else will, I’m doing myself a favor. Catch ya later.”

  She started the engine and backed up, barely missing me. When she peeled out, I just stood there staring after her. What the—?

  A very different engine rumbled up beside me. “Hey, it’s my lucky day. Wasn’t that your sister? Need a ride?”

  Fuming, I turned toward Josh and took a deep breath. “I do now. Or, actually, I guess I can walk.”

  Just then, a single raindrop splattered on my glasses. Perfect.

  “I could give you a ride. Anywhere you like.”

  I wasn’t sure if Josh was joking or flirting or what, but when a second and third raindrop hit, I walked around to the passenger side of his Camaro just as he leaned across the seat and pushed the door open.

  “Hop in.”

  “Thanks.”

  But he didn’t go anywhere.

  “So where did you want to go? Wanna try the new roller coaster at the Mall of America? Or come over to my house and take a stab at the roller coaster model?”

  Even though the mention of riding a roller coaster sent my stomach into spasms, I gave him a weak smile. “You don’t give up, do you?”

  He grinned at me. “Not easily. I bet you don’t either.”

  He had no idea. I think I officially gave up completely by the fall of seventh grade. Okay, if you didn’t count my feeble attempts this past month, most of which were either egged on by Jane and Liz or inspired by Josh, but I wouldn’t ever admit it.

  I shrugged. “Are you already working on the roller coaster model? Does that mean you’ve finished your design?”

  “No thanks to Kyle.” Josh started driving, slowly, when a car zoomed up behind us in the parking lot and started honking. “Actually, I’m not even done with the design, but I thought this would be a good weekend to tackle both parts—the design and the model.”

  I didn’t even know where I’d go to find parts for a roller coaster model. I’d counted on Liz and Dad helping me, despite Mr. Gilbertson’s threats, but it’d be more fun to do it with Josh. I mean, not to do it with Josh, but, well, do it. In the nonsexual sense. If Penelope wasn’t tagging along.

  Josh cruised onto the main street. “So? Have I talked you into it, or should I just give you a ride home?”

  I wasn’t quite sure exactly what he’d talked me into—and, with Josh, it kept changing daily—but I had to get my roller coaster done. The fact that Josh offered the only possible bright spot in the otherwise blank weekend that loomed ahead of me wasn’t a factor at all.

  Right.

  I breathed a sigh of relief when we pulled up in front of Josh’s house, because it wasn’t the Mall of America and, as far as I knew, didn’t have a roller coaster hidden inside.

  The relief lasted only until I glanced at the upstairs window that had to be Josh’s, and everything came flooding back. What was I doing? I was wearing long pants, at least. And a wispy camisole that barely covered my boobs, although I wore a thin baby-blue cardigan over it. Oh, and I had cute yellow undies with butterflies on them.

  Great. I was sending myself mixed messages. How could I hope for better from Josh?

  He unlocked the front door and, with his hand barely touching the small of my back, ushered me inside.

  I tried not to shiver. I didn’t totally avoid it.

  After glancing at the stairs leading up to Josh’s room, I pointed a shaky finger at the dining room. “Would it be easier if we worked in there?”

  Josh barely glanced where I was pointing before he headed to the stairs. “Nah. My room is more comfortable, and I have everything in there.”

  That was the problem.

  I followed him upstairs, biting my lip as I debated the pros and cons of kissing Josh again. The pros were obvious. The biggest con was Penelope, plus not having a clue what exactly Josh wanted and whether he was using me. Okay, he was using me. I just wasn’t exactly sure for what. As we got closer to his room, though, the cons got shoved aside by visions of Josh kissing me. And maybe Josh taking a sneak peek at my undies, although I wasn’t totally sure about that.

  I would probably never be sure about that.

  “C’mon in.” He opened the door and followed me inside. The room looked just like it had on Tuesday, but it felt different now. It felt like a place where a girl got kissed.

  I dropped my backpack on the floor and tried not to look eager. Josh dropped his own on the bed—and then opened it.

  “I admit I’m not as far along as I acted, but I do have a few quick-and-dirty sketches to start with.”

  So much for getting any lip action, as Liz would say. Except that Liz wouldn’t be saying it, because she’d be getting it. Sighing, I sat on the floor, cross-legged, pulled out my Physics notebook, and looked up at Josh.

  Who was staring at my lips.

  “I’d kinda like to—”

  “—get to work?” From the look on his face, I knew that wasn’t what he wanted, but he also wanted Penelope. If he couldn’t choose between us, then it was up to me to choose. And I wasn’t choosing a three-way. “Le
t’s look at your design.”

  He frowned, then joined me on the floor, his hip smack up against mine and way too cozy to get much done. That might be his point, but he opened his own notebook.

  I blinked. “You drew this? Wow.”

  He shrugged. “I like to doodle.”

  “This is not doodling.” Tracing my finger along the lines of his sketch, I whistled. “It’s fantastic.”

  “Yours is probably a lot better.”

  “I, uh—” What could I say? After giving Josh so much grief, both in my own mind and to his face, I hated to admit the truth. But I had to. “I haven’t actually started.”

  His eyebrows went up.

  “I’ve been busy.” Shopping for clothes. Getting a new hairstyle. Working up the nerve to kiss a guy who spent most of his time with another girl. “It seemed like there was plenty of time left, but I guess it’s starting to get closer.”

  Josh stared at me, and not just at my lips. “You told Mr. Gilbertson you were done. Weeks ago.”

  I felt my face flushing, and I gazed down at my hands twisting in my lap. “I was maybe a little embarrassed.”

  “Because I changed partners.”

  “Um . . .”

  His fingers touched the bottom of my chin, gently lifting my face until I was looking straight at his big blue eyes.

  God, I wanted to kiss him. Despite everything.

  “I was a total jerk, but I didn’t dump you. I just couldn’t say no to Kyle without telling him.”

  I frowned. “Telling him what?”

  “That I wanted to—”

  “—do the roller coaster project with someone who wouldn’t get a failing grade in Physics?”

  Josh grinned, then glanced at my lips. He was sitting so close to me already, but it felt like he was moving even closer. Without technically moving. “That, too. I couldn’t say no without telling Kyle I liked you.”

  “In overalls and a ponytail and hiking boots. Right.” I glanced away from his lips, away from Josh, and out the window. “I don’t think so.”