The Naughty Sins Of A Saint

by Tiana Laveen

  “Well, my idea of a good time isn’t being backstage hearing you do your thing when I can’t even look at you. At least this way I can keep busy,” Xenia said as she yawned and stretched again. “If you want me for support though, I’ll come,” she added.

  “No, that’s OK. I know you’d be bored if you couldn’t attend the conference, and it’s only for one day anyway. Did your period come?” Saint asked, concern in his voice. He was unable to read her on it which left him even more nervous.

  She sighed. “Yes. It came last night. Since you were at the other conference, I forgot to tell you. I’m sure you’re relieved.” Xenia rolled her eyes and fell back onto the bed.

  “Yes, I’m relieved, but not because I don’t want a baby with you – just not right now. My gut tells me the timing is wrong. Trust me. I told you we could discuss it again,” he said slightly annoyed. Xenia grumbled, rolled over on her side and closed her eyes.

  * * *

  Saint reread the latest email he received from an unknown sender:

  Saint,

  Your wife is still alive because you jumped in front of the bullets – very romantic. You should have taken that as a sign to keep your mouth shut. Since you and your cunt survived, you’ve had at least five engagements in which you continue to spout your rhetoric. You’ve been warned and yet you’ve learned nothing. I thought you were smart. If you conduct one more seminar, write one more book, or even do an interview promoting your work, there will be dire consequences, and this time, we won’t miss the target. The police don’t care about you. We both know that you’re not going to heed this message, so I recommend you kiss each other goodbye. The honeymoon is over.

  “Hey, Baby, I’ll be in bed in just a sec,” Saint said as he shut down his computer, grabbed his cell phone, and headed down the steps into his private office as he dialed, closing the door behind him.

  “Raphael. It’s me, Saint.”

  “Yeah, I know! It’s two in the morning, Man! This better be important. I haven’t had sex in three weeks, and when I’m finally gettin’ some, here you come callin’! Why didn’t you use your little Superman mystic powers to find out if I was available first before you called? Goddamn!”

  “I’m sorry, but this is important!”

  “Where are you? Why are you talking so low?”

  “I’m at home, in my office. Xenia’s asleep, but I don’t want her to overhear me.”

  “Well then why in the hell are you whispering? Your new house is the size of a mausoleum, and you’re on another floor, in another room with the damn door closed!” Raphael barked. “This is fuckin’ ridiculous. Whisperin’ on the goddamn phone at 2:00 in the mornin’!”

  “I don’t know why I’m whispering! Look, I need your help,” Saint said as he started to pace the floor. He scratched his bare chest as he looked around anxiously, his gold Buddhist necklace bumping up and down between his pecs with each step he took. “I have a plan, and I need your help,” he said as he peeped suspiciously out his window blinds.

  “Oh, no. What type of plan is this?” Raphael asked as he left his bedroom and walked into his kitchen to grab a glass of milk.

  “I need to have my computer checked for professional spyware. I had a dream last night that my computer was flashing, like a warning. It would explain how the gunman knew I’d be there the night I got shot. That was an unpublicized event, and I understand someone could’ve said something, but I find it unlikely. I got another email tonight. This is the same person that tried to kill Xenia. I knew the police just arrested someone, anyone, to close the case. It wasn’t the person who committed the crime.”

  “You told me months ago that you had a trap! Now come to find out, I’m a part of the scheme. You’re killin’ me, Man. What do you expect me to do about this so-called spyware? I’m not a computer whiz.”

  “You’re not, but Latrice is. Is there any way that you can get her to find out if there is something on my computer, but not let on what’s going on?”

  “Oh, hell naw!” Raphael screamed. “I’m not giving Latrice your computer to crack codes! I’ve seen some of the stuff on there when you let me borrow it to check my Facebook. There’s no way in hell I’m doing that. Even if you temporarily got rid of it, she’d still be able to find it. You got dick pics and shit. Hell no! That was more of you than I ever wanted to see!” Raphael continued. “I’m not lettin’ Latrice see that so she can do a comparison! Uh uh – not gonna happen!” Raphael protested.

  “Those were sent to Xenia when we were still living apart, that’s all. We didn’t get to see each other, so it helped pass the time. We missed each other,” Saint explained.

  “I don’t give a shit if they were sent to the pope, the FBI, or the CIA! I’m permanently scarred – and humiliated. That shit made me feel like a little boy. You fucked up my self-esteem. Kill ya self,” Raphael laughed.

  Saint closed his eyes, “I can try to delete all of it,” he offered. “You shouldn’t have been going through my stuff in the first place.”

  “It was your screensaver, Fool! I told you that deleting it wouldn’t work. It’s on your hard drive permanently. You love your dick so much it was right there, front and center, after I turned the computer on! I don’t appreciate having to have this gay-ass conversation with you either, Man! Latrice is gonna go through everything on your computer to try to purge it. Trust and believe, she’ll find it. Images of your dick should never be in your homeboy’s head! I should choke you out!” Raphael said, teetering on laughing and being genuinely upset.

  Saint sighed and rubbed his forehead, “Come on, Raphael! Please put your ego aside for a second and help me out. Our lives are being threatened. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? I have to be careful who I confide in. I can trust you and Latrice. Please, Man! This is life and death, for real!”

  Raphael sighed and paused for several seconds. “OK, fine. Bring the computer over when you get back in town. You owe me one.”

  “Thanks. I really appreciate it. My trap is working. They came to me like I said they would. The rest is up to me.”

  * * *

  CHAPTER 14

  Two weeks later…

  “If you don’t tell her, who will?” Saint asked, his voice booming through the speakers in the jam packed, sold out stadium. “If you don’t tell her that you love her, you leave it up to someone else – someone who’d love to take your place.” He wrapped the microphone chord around his wrist as he continued to work the stage.

  “That’s what this is all about. It’s not about how many you can get, sleep with, or add to your collection. It’s about ‘the one.’ All you need is ‘the one.’ If an awkward, lanky, strange, neurotic kid like me out of the Bronx can attract these ‘queens,’ so can you. Everything I know, I teach. There are no secrets to these techniques. Consistency is your best friend. Treat her with respect. Be reliable. Be the man you were created to be, and she’ll follow you. Women don’t want to be in control of everything, contrary to what some of them may say. She wants you to uphold your God given position, as the ‘king of the castle.’ That doesn’t mean that you go and run a dictatorship or you try to rule her. She has a God, and you’re not it. She has a father, and you’re not it. She may have a boss, and you’re probably not it. She was taken from the side of you. That’s why you keep her there.

  Don’t let her lead you, and don’t let her fall behind. Walk with her, shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand. She’s your best friend. She’s your confidant. You have to be able to trust her. If you choose wisely, you’ll get out what you put in, or more. Your ‘queen’ is an investment. You take care of her like she’s a prize. In turn, she’ll do the same. These Rainbeau Man and Sexual Re-revolution conferences are special because some remarkable men are here to offer different pieces of the puzzle. It’s an honor to be here amongst my local New Yorkers, as well as all of you from across the state lines and national borders. How you choose to arrange your pieces and which ones you move first are up to you, but I hope you
didn’t come all this way, pay for that ticket, and stand here just to dismiss the wisdom of the men here who have succeeded and have what you want. I’ve been in this for a while, and not too long ago, I was able to accomplish what I’d been preaching for years. It was a long journey, but worth the wait. You can have your ‘goddess.’ She’s out there waiting for you. Before you take her or approach her and expect to be her ‘king,’ you make sure you have a safe place for her to commune with you. Have your shit together before you step to her. Don’t be sloppy. We’re here to offer advice to help you avoid these pitfalls. We’re gonna be here all night. Tonight is yours. You have all our knowledge at your fingertips. Advisors like me are still necessary for seekers like you. I wish I wasn’t. I wish there was no need for a Rainbeau Conference because men had the confidence to date whomever they wanted – and the women, the object of their affection, weren’t consumed with worries from friends and family and concerned about being called sellouts and traitors. I wish no one had to endure getting stared at, hand-in-hand with his beautiful Black ‘queen.’ I wish you could be certain that your children would never hear one unkind word uttered to them because of their mixed racial make-up. We still live in a very racist society that tries to pit us against what we want most and make us out to be degenerates, race traitors, and sexual deviants. We just know what we want. We know what we like. We know what we need. It’s doesn’t get easier after you get her. The longing grows and grows. Once you connect with her, she accepts you, and you both are on the same page, you can never fully sever that connection. You’re in each other’s systems, and there is nothing more intense and lovely, but also vulnerable, in your world after that. For years I’ve been talking about how to attract her, how to date her, how to make love to her, and how to be the man that she needs you to be. It wasn’t until I had my own ‘goddess’ that I became fully aware of all that it entails. I dated many, had several serious relationships, but it wasn’t until I found my true ‘queen’ that I fully understood the depth of my own advice. Everything I’ve been saying is true, but the intensity – I can’t stress that enough – is off the charts. When you find the right one, you’ll have it. Because of your attraction, your undeniable yearning, you’ll never get her off your mind. Everything you do and say will be tenfold. All the arguments and lovemaking, you’ll feel tenfold. She’ll complete you. Once you have her, you’d do almost anything to never be without her again.”

  Saint’s thought trailed for a moment before he got back on track. His entire body yearned for Xenia. His head and heart ached, his stomach in knots, missing her. He continued on, working the crowd into an applauding frenzy before he took his seat. He sat down and thought about Xenia, wishing so desperately she was there with him.

  After the conference, Saint drove to his penthouse. He opened the door and immediately felt the coolness. The night air had permeated the open space. The lack of furniture caused unsettling echoes in the starkness. He set his keys on the kitchen counter and opened the refrigerator. He removed the lone bottle of beer, flipped the cap off, and guzzled it down as he paced his hardwood floor, looking out the window at the flashing city lights. He put his hand up to the cool glass and daydreamed as he watched taxis drive by and couples stroll hand-in-hand to various bistros and bars. He slumped down on his couch, placed the empty beer bottle on the table, and pulled out his cell phone.

  “Hi, Baby,” he said as he stood back up.

  “Hi, Sweetie! How was everything?” Xenia asked as she sliced pieces of cucumber for her dinner salad.

  “It was good, real good. The turnout was record-breaking. I miss you,” he said as he pushed his hand down his pants. “What do you have on?” he asked gruffly.

  Xenia smiled. “Boy, don’t start. I’m trying to cook me a little dinner.”

  “I wish I could eat, but you’re not here,” Saint smiled.

  “I wish you could see my face right now. You’re so nasty,” she laughed.

  “Come on, Baby. Tell me what you have on,” he insisted as he pulled his dick out.

  “I have on the little red silk robe you bought me,” she answered as she continued to chop. “I hope you aren’t beating your meat because I’m chopping a cucumber right now,” she laughed wickedly.

  Saint sighed loudly. “Well, fuck this. You killed the mood with that one, just as you’d planned. Chopped cucumbers? OK, Lorena Bobbit.” He smiled as he let go of his cock.

  Xenia continued to laugh. “OK, I’ll play. Hold on a sec,” she said as she put the phone down.

  Saint sighed impatiently as he stroked his dick slowly up and down, closing his eyes and leaning back on the couch, stretching his long legs out, bunching up the rug in front of him. He heard Xenia pick up the phone again. He listened intently as she rattled plastic and tore something open.

  “What are you doing?” he gurgled as he shook from sexual withdrawal, trying desperately to get a small fix to tide him over until he could get back home.

  “Taking out that vibrator you got me,” she said as she flipped it in different directions, trying to see where to put the batteries.

  “Mmm,” Saint groaned. “Oh, this should be good.” He listened as she placed the batteries inside the toy and positioned herself in the middle of their bed. She put her cell on speakerphone and leaned back. “Are you ready now, Baby?” Saint asked, his voice going deeper.

  “Mmm hmmm,” Xenia responded.

  “OK. Imagine me coming home and you’re in the bed asleep. You’ve been horny for me all day, and the feeling is mutual. I walk into the bedroom and take off my clothes, walk into the bathroom, and start the water for a shower. You wake up, come into the bathroom with me, take off your red robe, and close the door. I look at you, give you a soft kiss on those big, juicy pretty lips of yours. You take your hand and rub it up and down my chest while I bring you closer to me. I cup your ass cheeks in my hands, squeezing a little as I start to walk backwards, towards the shower. We get inside, and the warm water runs down our bodies. You wash my back, and I wash yours. You look at my ass and pinch it like you’re known to do. I turn around towards you and look into those big, endearing dark-brown eyes. I pin you up against the shower wall and kiss you – in that spot, your spot. You know the one, on the right side of your neck. I start sucking real slow and hard.” Saint paused for a moment as he heard his wife’s breathing increasing. “While I’m sucking your neck, I massage your tits, rubbing them until those nipples pop up. Then I move my head under the stream of water I go down to them, sucking one tit, then the other while my arms are wrapped around your waist.” Saint briefly paused again, listening to her closely. He rubbed his hard cock a little harder. Hearing the vibrator buzzing, he smirked as he continued on. “Does that vibrator feel good on your clit, Baby?” Saint asked.

  “Mmm hmmm, but not as good as you,” Xenia said breathily.

  “Don’t put it in you until I tell you to,” he said. “Just keep rubbing your clit with it. I slide my hands down to your ass and rub those soft, round cheeks. I want to fuck you so badly, but I wait until I have you good and wet. I drop to my knees, the water falling all over me as I part your thighs and lick all over your pussy. Even with the water coming down, I can feel how wet you’re getting.”

  “Mmm,” Xenia moaned, rotating her hips while Saint continued to phone sex her crazy.

  “As I’m licking you, I stick my finger inside, going in and out, in and out. I rub your G-spot, faster and faster, saving that soft clit for last. You push my face harder into your pussy. I grab your hips as I lick up and down you.

  Xenia grunted, moving all around in the bed with her knees locked as the tip of the vibrator made her climax. Saint quieted while he listened to her cumming. “Do you want another one?” he asked as he continued to stroke himself.

  “Mmm hmm. Keep going,” she said as she regained her composure.

  “You cum in my mouth, so sweet and juicy. I stand back up and…”

  “I get on the shower floor,” Xenia took over. Saint
smiled as he handed over the reins.

  “Your big dick is hanging in my face, and I put my hands around it and lick the tip. I push the head in my wet mouth, sucking on it, hard, just like you like it.” Saint sighed, his hips now rotating and bucking as he listened.

  “I put more in my mouth, moving it to the side just like you taught me, so I can get every inch of your thickness in my mouth, ball deep. It’s getting even bigger while I suck and lick all over it. I stop and lick your balls, then take one in my mouth and suck it, then the other.”

  “Mmm! Ahhh, yes, Baby,” Saint said loudly. “Then I grab you up from the floor and turn you around, pushing your titties into the glass shower wall. You put your arms up, like you’re being frisked, while I open your legs real wide and push my stomach against your back. I push my hard cock deep inside your wet pussy. Put the vibrator inside yourself now, Baby.” Saint sucked air as his legs moved up and down on the couch. “I’m going in and out of you now, real slow. I raise one of your legs while you’re still leaning into the glass. Now I can go in even deeper. I’m working that pussy like it’s paying me overtime. You’re clenching down on my dick, contracting as you cum again. I reach in front of you and rub your clit while I drill you harder and harder.”

  “Ahhh, Ahhh, Ahhh!” Xenia yelled as her body rose and fell from the bed. Her juice ran down her legs as Saint continued to talk.

  “Don’t stop, Xenia. Don’t take the vibrator out just yet. I pull out of you, turn you around, and pick you up, pushing your back against the wall. We’re getting drenched from the warm shower water. I start kissing you. I slide my tongue inside your mouth as I push my dick back inside your tight pussy.”

  “Fuck me harder,” Xenia yelled out as she felt another orgasm building.