More Than Her

by McLean, Jay

  Micky laughed. "Amanda, how are you?"

  Amanda.

  I tuned out the conversation and just stared at her. She wasn't hot. Not the in your face kind of hot. She was something else. She's still something else.

  ***

  As soon as she left, I knew I had to find her.

  I rushed out of the house searching for her. She was on the sidewalk, pressing the fob to unlock a shitty red civic.

  I virtually sprinted over to her. "Amanda!" I yelled.

  She turned and froze in her spot.

  I stopped inches in front of her, my breathing heavy from running.

  "I need your number," I told her.

  "What?" she said through an incredulous laugh.

  "I need your number because I need to take you out." I tried my panty-dropping smile on her.

  "Um, no." She turned around to open her car door.

  "What?" I asked, disbelief laced in my tone.

  "No," she repeated.

  "Why not?" I was pissed off. "I'm just asking for your number."

  She turned to face me, huffing out a breath.

  "No, asshole." She rolled her eyes. "You weren't asking for my number. You were demanding it." She eyed my up and down. "Who are you anyway?"

  "Logan Matthews," I put my hand out to shake hers.

  She looked down at it, shook her head, laughed once, and then looked back up at me.

  "Definitely no."

  "What? Why? Give me one good reason," I spat out. I didn't know why it was getting to me, her not wanting me. But I was pissed off and I felt like I needed to win that argument, or whatever the fuck it was that was going on there.

  "Because."

  "That's not a reason."

  "Because I have a boyfriend."

  "No you don't." I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest.

  "Because you're an asshole."

  "Valid, but not accepted. Next?"

  "Because I like girls."

  I eyed her up and down and licked my lips, "Even better."

  She took a deep breath in and sighed out loud. "Fine." Her hand was out waiting, so I gave her my phone.

  A huge shit-eating grin took over my face, because I just fucking won, and I couldn't wait to make her pay for it. She handed it back and rushed to get in her car. I watched her as she drove away.

  Amanda.

  Once she was gone, I looked down at my phone. The notes app was open:

  In your dreams, asshole. Find another way to score your home run.

  THREE

  -Present-

  We were three weeks away from the first game of the season and I was trying to get my classes sorted before baseball consumed all my free time. Baseball—it wasn't a big deal for me. I wasn't the best catcher on the team. I definitely wouldn't be starting. I walked onto the team by default because Jake and I were best friends and we played high school ball together for three years. They assumed we had a special connection on the field or some shit—some sort of secret communication. The thing is, Jake Andrews is that fucking good he could pitch to a brick wall and still be a big deal. I stayed on the team because it helped clear my head and gave me a good work out schedule. It's not my passion and it's definitely not my career.

  ***

  I was about to walk out of the library when I saw Micky, Lucy and a third girl. I did a double take because there was no way in hell it could be her. "Luce! Micky!"

  I got scolded to shut up.

  I didn't care.

  They both turned around immediately.

  And so did she.

  Amanda.

  Holy shit.

  My steps faltered as I got closer.

  I couldn't seem to take my eyes off her. She looked the same, but different? Fuck, I don't know. Her eyes widened as she saw me walking towards them, but they quickly averted to the to the floor. I waited until I was right in front of them before speaking. "Hey," I said to all of them, but I couldn't tear my eyes off Amanda.

  "Dude," Micky laughed, her finger clicking in front of my face. It snapped me out of dazed state. When I finally peeled my eyes off Amanda and looked at Micky, she was smirking at me.

  Lucy started giggling. "What are you doing?" she asked, trying to hide her own smirk. My eyes darted to Amanda, but she was still looking at the ground, playing with the straps of her backpack.

  "Nothing, just had some shit to do. What are you lovely ladies doing?"

  I don't think I realized that I hadn't taken my eyes off her, because Micky was laughing and waving her hand in front of my face again. I slapped them away and glared at her. She stopped laughing, smiled, and then nudged Amanda with her elbow. "Amanda," Micky said. She finally looked up. “Have you met Logan?" she continued with a shit-eating grin on her face.

  My palms began to sweat; my thumb cracked the fingers on each hand. My pulse echoed in my ears. I could see Lucy's confused expression from the corner of my eye, but I couldn't take my fucking eyes off Amanda. My hands went in my front pockets while I waited for her reaction. I needed her to say something—anything. To tell me that she remembered me. But when she finally looked up, there was nothing.

  "Nope. Never." She faked looking at her watch. "I gotta go. My rides coming and he's in a hurry, I'll see you girls later," she said quickly, and then walked away.

  "We got book club on Tuesday. Don't forget," Lucy called after her.

  She raised her hand in acknowledgement.

  I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding.

  Lucy put her arm through mine as we walked out and towards the parking lot. "Logan, don't tell me you've slept with her, too. She's one of the good ones," she whined.

  "What? No. I haven't. Swear it."

  "Good." She laughed.

  I put my arms around both their shoulders. "So what's this about a book club? You girls sit around, reading dirty books, fanning each other's vaginas? Because if so, count me in!"

  "Ew!" Lucy yelped the same time Micky backhanded my stomach.

  The girls got in Micky's car and drove off.

  I looked around for my car. I wasn't parked on this side of the lot. I started making my way to the other side, and saw Amanda sitting at a bus stop, on her phone. I was at a stand still for a moment, wondering if I should try and talk to her, or if I should just leave her alone.

  She glanced up when she heard footsteps, but her expression falling the instant she realized it was me. "I got to go, Lexi. I'll call you later...yeah...uh-huh...bye."

  She regarded me, her eyebrows raised.

  "Hey." I motioned my head to the spot on the bench next to her.

  She bit her lip and looked away. "It's a free country, Matthews. You can do what you want."

  I hated that she called me Matthews. Like she didn't even know my name. Or she just didn't care. "So you do remember me? That's not what you said to-"

  "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Her whole body spun to face me. "I'm not the one that—" She stopped herself abruptly and closed her eyes, forcing her breathing to steady.

  I watched her, confused.

  "You know what, Matthews? Just leave it alone, okay? No one needs to know that we have history—or whatever. Just leave it. Please." Her eyes were cast downwards, picking at her jeans.

  I didn't know what to say. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I tried to reach for her hand, but she jerked it away.

  "Amanda," I sighed. "I'm sorry." I meant it.

  Her whole body tensed before she raised her eyes to mine.

  "You're too late, Logan." She shook her head slowly. "You're just too fucking late."

  A car pulled up, interrupting me from saying anything more. She rushed to stand, putting her backpack on. "I'd say it was nice seeing you, Matthews. But it really, really wasn't." I stayed silent as she got into that same piece of shit old jeep from her graduation day.

  And I was left sitting there, watching her leave.
r />   Again.

  FOUR

  -Past-

  The assist.

  Start of summer, pre College

  A week had passed since I'd met her at Jakes house, but she still lingered on my mind. I'd forgotten that she went to Micky's school, so I didn't expect to see her at their graduation. But I was so fucking glad that I did.

  ***

  She stood on the sidewalk across from me talking to another girl, both of them wearing their gowns. I crossed the road and stood behind her. Whatever her friend was saying died in the air when she saw me.

  "What is it?" Amanda asked her.

  I interrupted. "Well, well. I bet you never thought you'd see me again?"

  She slowly turned around; a scowl had already formed on her face. "What do you want, Matthews?"

  I chuckled.

  Her eye twitched.

  It made me laugh harder. "I don't know why you're pissed at me," I said, trying to hide my amusement. "I'm just standing here, asking you question. It's not a big deal." I shrugged, my hands going in my pockets.

  She raised her eyebrows, waiting for me to answer her.

  So I did. "Your number. For real this time."

  "No. Again. For real this time."

  The fact that she didn't want me made me want her more. Just when I about to tell her that I wasn't going to take no for an answer, a piece of shit old jeep pulled up beside us. The kid driving had the top down, with two other guys in the back seat. They all wore their gowns.

  "Hey," Amanda's friend cooed.

  The kid driving gave her a quick head nod before he looked at me, eyes narrowed. He didn't say shit, just glared.

  I glared back.

  "I'll call you later," Amanda said to her friend, hugging her quickly before brushing past me and into the front seat of the car. I watched as they drove off. She never once looked back.

  "So you want her number?" her friend asked.

  I turned back to face her, rubbing my palm on my jaw. I eyed her up and down, confused. "Why?" I asked. "You gonna to give it to me?"

  "I'm Alexis, just FYI. And yes, I am." Her hand was out waiting. I handed her my phone.

  "And her boyfriend?" I jerked my head to the spot where the car had just left.

  She looked up at me, mid type. "Not her boyfriend."

  She handed it back and I made sure it was in there this time, and she wasn't just fucking with me like Amanda did.

  I thanked her before walking to my car. Once I was seated, I pulled out my phone and texted her;

  Logan: So, I'm thinking dinner for our first date. Any requests?

  Amanda: Fucking Alexis.

  FIVE

  -Present-

  "Come to the house," Jake said after practice. "We'll grab a few beers and order a pizza." He ran his hands through his hair. "The only thing is—we kind of have to eat out back."

  "What?" I laughed.

  "Yeah. The girls have book club or something. They hate when I'm around."

  I raise my eyebrows in disbelief.

  He rolled his eyes. "It's not that bad, asshole. I'm still allowed to be home. Just not...inside the house."

  "You're so—wait. Did you say book club?"

  He nodded, eyebrows bunched in confusion.

  I feigned disinterest. "So uh—who attends this so called book club?"

  "Just Kayla, Luce and their friend Amanda."

  I ignored the pounding in my chest. "Hey, when she's done whipping you, do you have to carry it back to its place with your mouth?"

  "Fuck off."

  ***

  She was all I could think about the entire drive to his house.

  When we got there, the girls were all sitting around the coffee table, e-readers in hands.

  There were glasses of wine or champagne, or whatever it is chick's drink, on the coffee table, along with some boxes of tissues and a bag of chocolates.

  Their heads all whipped up when they heard us walk in.

  Jake went to Micky, kissed her on the cheek, and then headed to his room.

  They all went back to reading, like I wasn't even here. Amanda glanced up, but looked straight back down when she saw it was me.

  No smile. No frown. Nothing.

  I went to sit on the sofa while I waited for Jake. "So... what are you guys doing?"

  "Hoovering," Micky said through a sob.

  I looked around.

  They were sitting on their asses, not a single cleaning product in sight.

  I must have misheard them. "What?" I asked again.

  "Hoovering," Lucy replied, wiping at her face.

  What the hell was going on? My eyebrows bunched together in confusion. Their eyes were red and puffy from crying.

  And then it hit me—what was wrong with them all.

  "You guys want me to get you like, ice cream or more chocolate...something for your cramps?" I asked cautiously.

  "What?" Micky chuckled, still not looking up from her book.

  "You guys have that thing—you know—when girls are together all the time and they get their periods at the same time or some shit."

  "Naw, Logan. I live you." Lucy smiled at me, then went back to reading, "Now go away!"

  Amanda hadn't looked up once since I sat down. Her eyes were glued to her book.

  I was bored, and wanted to be an asshole, so I got comfortable on the sofa. "So, did you guys hear about that Lit. Professor and his student?"

  "Shh!" Both Micky and Lucy snapped.

  I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped. Then continued to be an asshole. "Apparently they'd be doing it for a whi-"

  "SHUT UP!" Lucy yelled, coming to a stand. Her face was red, jaw clenched. "Go away!" She started swatting my head and shoulders with her hands. I tried ducking and blocking her hits but she was too quick. "You. Are. Ruining DEAN HOLDER!" Her voice got louder with every word.

  She pulled me by my hands until I was on my feet, turned me to face the front door, put her hands on my back and started pushing me towards it.

  I tried digging my feet into the floor but the girl had some power.

  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and started dialing Cam. By the time the phone was to my ear, she'd pushed me out the front door, slamming it shut behind me.

  "Yo," Cam answered.

  "Dude, your girlfriend's fucking bat-shit crazy."

  "What?" He sounded pissed.

  I was about to tell him what happened when he chuckled. "Dude, it is Tuesday... and they are Hoovering."

  What the hell does that even mean?

  ***

  Cam ended up coming over, putting an end to the girl's book club. Heidi and Dylan joined us and we made a night of it.

  Amanda hadn't said shit to me, or even glanced in my direction. She wasn't openly avoiding me, but I could definitely tell it was an effort for her. I tried to subtly watch her, but her eyes were glued to her phone.

  When the pizza arrived, we all move to the back deck.

  "We should all do something for spring break," Heidi said.

  Everyone made a sound of agreement through mouthfuls of food.

  "We should go to Mexico!" I said. Dylan nodded his head, fist bumping me. His mouth was too full to speak.

  "NO!" Lucy gasped, her head shaking frantically. "Nu-uh! Not Mexico!"

  All eyes were on her.

  Cam swallowed his food, and then spoke through a smile. "Lucy here..." he pointed his thumb at her, "...thinks that if she goes to Mexico, they'll kidnap her and sell her as a sex slave."

  We all laughed.

  She still had that panicked look on her face. "It's not funny you guys, it happens."

  "Lucy, we read that book three months ago. Get it out of your head." Micky said through a laugh. She was sitting sideways on Jake's lap while his arm rested on her legs.

  "No," Lucy defended. "It's true. It happens all the time."

  "Lucy," Amanda said. It was the first t
ime she'd spoken since I got here. "I'm pretty sure you have to be virgin to be sold as a sex slave. And you—most definitely are not a virgin!"

  Everyone cracked up.

  "Yeah, she's not!" Cam high-fived Amanda.

  Lucy's face turned to shock, but only for a second before she looked down at the floor, smiling to herself.

  "You got family there right?" Cam asked Amanda.

  How does he know that?

  "Yeah. You guys would be welcome to stay there. They love having guests."

  "You'd obviously be coming with us."

  Obviously? What the actual fuck is going on? How long has Amanda been living here? And how the hell has she managed to get to know my friends without me knowing it?

  "Maybe." She shrugged. "But if not, you guys could definitely stay there. Just let me know." She pulled her phone out of her pocket and excused herself, walking back into the house.

  I watched her every move.

  A few minutes later, she came back, but stood at the back door. "I gotta go. E's coming to get me."

  "No. Don't leave yet." Micky was on her feet. "We wouldn't have even finished book club yet. Why are you going so soon?"

  "Logan can give you a ride later," Lucy chimed in. I could hear her smiling; she was so damn obvious.

  "Yeah. For sure. I'll give you a ride. No problem," I rushed out.

  Smooth.

  Then I just stared, waiting for her to say something. She never even looked in my direction.

  "It's fine. He's on his way already." She waved to everyone before quickly making her way into the house and out the front door.

  ***

  I was in the kitchen, throwing away some beer bottles, when Cam came in. He leaned against the counter, arms crossed over his chest, smug smile on his face. "So...Amanda..." he trailed off, expecting me to finish his sentence.

  I didn't look at him. I didn't say shit.

  "You know, when I first saw her with Lucy, she looked kind of familiar. But I couldn't place her. But now—I think I remember her—she's that girl from the diner right?"