Ever a Song

by Karen Toller Whittenburg

  “Autumn.” He caught her arm and pulled her to face him, his height intimidating and emphasized by the dusky light. “I don’t want that to happen again.”

  She took a deep breath. “It was only a kiss.”

  “I know what it was!” His grip tightened. “And I don’t want you to do it again.”

  “It was just a kiss and I did have your complete cooperation, didn’t I?”

  His anger was becoming a tangible part of the atmosphere. “A veneer of sophistication doesn’t mean you’ve grown up, Autumn. You’re still a child, running home to bandage a broken heart. I recognize all the classic symptoms, but I’m not going to play nursemaid this time. And I’m not about to become a testing ground for your wounded femininity. Be careful, Autumn, about backing friendship into a corner!” He released her and took a step away.

  But now it was her turn to stop him. Her fingers closed on his muscular forearm. “And you be careful, of thinking I’m still a child. No matter how you feel about it, sooner or later you’ll have to accept the fact that children grow up. And I have, Cade. I have.”

  She felt the tension in his arm flex beneath her touch. Slowly she brought her hand back to her side, only then realizing the ache in her palm. The splinter had burrowed deeper with the pressure and Autumn soothed it with a gentle massage, but her gaze never dropped from his. Even when he turned his back and walked from her sight, she continued to stare.

  “I love you,” she whispered, knowing and accepting that there would never be an answer. Only the stars would know and someday the soft hurt inside her would be as insignificant as the splinter under her skin.

  But he had kissed her, her heart reminded. Really kissed her. Autumn sighed wistfully. Yes, he had, and somehow the memory took away the sting —from her hand and from her heart.

  Chapter Five

  Autumn approached Cade’s office door with an armload of paper ammunition, one exorbitantly expensive bottle of wine, more than a touch of trepidation, and Marilynda’s insistent encouragement. In fact, the entire office staff was offering supportive smiles as Autumn walked past.

  It was nice to know the employees were behind her, but not so nice when she considered that their support placed her opposite Cade in an employer-versus-employer battle. She didn’t want that. No matter how much she believed in her idea and her ability to make it successful, she wouldn’t pursue it without his agreement. She trusted his judgment, knew he would be fair, and she admitted to herself that his support was the only one that counted.

  Even if she’d owned half of the corporation instead of a fourth, she wouldn’t do it. Mainly because she couldn’t bear to be always at odds with him.

  And yet she wasn’t sure she could manage the close contact the project would require either. It was a catch-22; she had to stay and prove to him that she had learned responsibility; but if she stayed, knowing she loved him, sooner or later she was bound to act irresponsibly. As she had on the boat dock after the champagne....

  Stopping in front of the closed door, Autumn took a deep breath and cautiously adjusted the materials in her arms as she waited for assistance. Marilynda, looking as managerial as if she had an Office Manager badge on her jacket, stepped forward and opened the door. “Mr. O’Connor,” she said in a supremely businesslike voice, “your two o’clock appointment is here.” She stood back as Autumn moved into the office, then closed the door with a whispered, “Go get him, Tiger.”

  Autumn hesitated as Cade rose to stand behind his desk. Trepidation vanished beneath the curiously uneven throbbing of her pulse. Why had she thought he should be taller? He looked wonderfully free of faults, all the way from the soft cashmere sweater worn over a crisp oxford shirt to his dark gray slacks to the carefree style of his hair to his indigo eyes. The corner of his mouth held the promise of laughter, but he regarded her with perfect seriousness. He made no move to come around his desk and help her with the load she carried. The amused arch of his brows brought up Autumn’s confidence and she stepped forward to let everything slide from her arms onto the desktop. At that unexpected gesture Cade did move.

  He caught the bottle of wine just as it rolled over the edge of the desk. After a quick examination he placed it upright and nodded appreciatively. “This is beginning to look like a royal setup. Is the bottle a bribe or just a means to impede my judgment?”

  With growing self-assurance Autumn sank onto the upholstered office chair across from him. “It’s for celebrating our new business venture ... or for breaking over your head, if necessary.”

  He returned to his chair and leaned back before giving her a deliciously lazy grin. “Hello, Autumn.”

  She could have basked for days in the silky resonance of his voice and the easy sensuality in his eyes, but she simply melted a little farther into her chair. “Hello, Cade.”

  “So you’re the mysterious two o’clock appointment. Marilynda’s been flitting in and out of here all day as if she thought I might try to escape through the window. She seems to have rallied quite a bit of support for your boutique.”

  “It serves you right, Cade, for talking out of school in the first place. This will only make it harder for you to turn me down.”

  The laugh lines around his mouth deepened into a pensive smile. “I’ve always found it next to impossible to refuse you anything, Autumn, and I’m sure this will be no exception. Besides, it isn’t up to me to give a flat yes or no. You and Ross have as much to say about it as I do.”

  “You know Ross would never take my side against you, if it ever came to that. He’s my brother and I love him, but he wouldn’t hesitate to pool his quarter interest with yours any day. All you have to do is express your doubts and Ross will fall right in line.”

  “It serves you right, Autumn, for leaving us to manage everything for you while you were off living a life of luxury.”

  “I think perhaps now is the time to break open the wine,” she interrupted sweetly.

  He laughed and leaned forward. “That won’t be necessary. I’m nothing if not flexible. Let’s see what you’ve got here.” He picked up the top few information sheets and began to read.

  Autumn started to explain the basis for her profit and loss projections, but decided to give him a little time to examine them first. Nervously she watched his forehead crease in concentration. She ran her palm over her navy slacks, adjusted the cuff of her matching blazer, and stopped short of rearranging the silk bow tied at the collar of her blouse. Her finger tangled with a coppery curl at her neck as she tried not to ask what he thought so far.

  “Do you have an estimate on the remodeling costs?” he asked abruptly, and Autumn jumped to attention. She rose to bend over the desk and find the estimates he wanted.

  “Here.” She handed him two preliminary bids, but remained standing as he looked at them. “I have the preliminary drawings too.” Without waiting for his answer she withdrew the first sketch from its protective tube and spread it open on his desk. “Marilynda suggested putting the boutique on a platform to give the illusion of separate stores, so there’s one sketch with that option and one without.”

  She reached for the cardboard tube containing the other sketch. Cade also reached for the tube and her hand closed over his, bringing her heart to her throat in one swift leap. Large, rough, and warm, he felt intoxicatingly male and Autumn lost all rational thought for that electric instant. In slow motion she drew back, allowing him to get the drawing and spread it out on top of the other. Carefully avoiding his eyes, she tried to look totally absorbed as she frantically sought to remember what she’d been saying.

  Cade watched her with curious surprise. It wasn’t like Autumn to be nervous, especially with him. But her hand had trembled when she’d accidentally touched him just now. He wasn’t mistaken about that and yet he didn’t understand it either. Maybe he’d underestimated the importance she placed on this project. Maybe it really did matter to her. She’d certainly done a thorough job on getting everything in black and white. That in
itself surprised him, but not nearly as much as her odd tremor.

  Now, if it had been his hand that shook at her touch, he wouldn’t have wondered. But he’d long ago steeled himself against Autumn’s impulsive embraces and he thought he’d done a damn good job of being impersonal in his responses.

  Until the kiss on the dock.

  That had been almost three weeks ago, but still he ached with the memory. And she had been so casual, so blasé. It was only a kiss, she’d said. Only a kiss.

  As she began to explain the renovation plans in detail, he told himself he must listen carefully. He owed her his full attention, but somehow she’d managed to throw his power of concentration off balance. She was so slender, her body softly curved and alluring. Her hair reflected the warm colors of a cozy fire and her creamy skin practically begged a caress.

  Don’t be a fool!

  He moved around the desk to be near her. He wondered if she really tensed at his approach or if he only imagined it. She didn’t look at him as she continued pointing out the benefits of opening a boutique inside the boat supply store. He stayed close beside her and looked intently at each data sheet she put before him. Occasionally she brushed against him, and each time he was reminded of how fragile the threads of their friendship actually were. He could lose her trust, her affection, her innocent belief in heroes, in one unguarded moment.

  “Well,” she asked in a low but hopeful voice. “What do you think?”

  I think I love you. Cade walked away from the admission and away from Autumn. How could he expect to work in close association with her for months into the future if he couldn’t even make it through the initial presentation? Safely behind his desk, he absently shuffled through her carefully gathered information. She had done exactly as he’d asked. She’d presented her idea in concise black and white and he was beginning to feel the unyielding wall at his back.

  “I think you’ve presented a convincing case, Autumn. To be honest, I still have some reservations, but I have to agree that the idea seems feasible. What are you planning to do about financing?”

  Breathing a tiny sigh of relief, she told him the amount of capital she had to invest and that Richard Colburn had agreed to finance the balance. Cade’s eyes grew frosty blue at that, she noted.

  “I’ll finance the balance, Autumn. I don’t want outsiders in this store.”

  “But, Cade,” she said, ready to defend her choice of investors. “It will be strictly for the boutique and Richard understands the—”

  “I’ll do it. And if you were planning to use your interest in the corporation as collateral on a loan with Colburn, I don’t want to know. Just don’t even think about doing that.” He ran his fingers through the dusky hair at his temples, leaving it disheveled and appealing. “Please, Autumn, just humor me on this.”

  Autumn sank back to the edge of her chair, half afraid to believe he was actually going to capitulate without a struggle.

  Rubbing a hand along his jaw, Cade sorted through the projection sheets once more before he looked at her again. “Have you talked to James Clayton at the bank? You’ll need a line of credit, you know, before you can order the merchandise you want.”

  Of course she knew, and the fact that he thought it necessary to remind her was irritating somehow. “I’m sure that won’t be any problem.”

  “Then you’ve talked to James?”

  “No, but I’m positive he’ll agree. After all, he’s handled the corporation finances for years.”

  Cade was openly skeptical. “He’s also the banker who used to help you unravel your personal finances every few months.”

  “That was years ago.” Autumn sat forward, her mouth forming a tight line as her irritation grew.

  “Which is another thing to consider,” he stated calmly. “You’ve lived away from Eastport for several years. Banks tend to take that into account when approving credit. However, I suppose I could—”

  “No. I’ll take care of this myself.”

  “All right, Autumn. Why don’t you get back to me on this after you speak to James.” His smile was firm. “I’d really prefer that you use the local bank.”

  “Then that’s what I’ll do.” She kept her tone even although she couldn’t keep her foot from tapping a rhythm of aggravation. Why hadn’t she checked on the line of credit? Because she hadn’t believed it would be any problem ... and it wouldn’t be either. Still, Cade didn’t have to look so pleased about the delay in giving her a definite yes.

  Autumn began to gather her pieces of paper into order even as she restored order to her disposition. It wasn’t Cade’s fault that she had neglected this one legitimate question. She had known, of course, that she would need an agreement with the bank. All clothing stores required an open-ended type of borrowing in order to purchase from the manufacturer, sell to the public, and repay the loan before starting the whole process over again. She knew the routine; she just had never started from the very beginning before.

  When everything was neatly stacked and the blueprints replaced in their tubes, she eyed the wine bottle. “I don’t suppose it would be appropriate to celebrate our new business venture just yet, would it?”

  Cade shook his head in apology. “I’m afraid it would be premature. However, if you’d consider offering me a bribe—”

  “I could get in a lot of trouble by offering you something like that. You might think I had no integrity. You might even refuse to share the wine with me.”

  “Try me and see,” he coaxed with a smile, and Autumn thought she would have given him much more than the wine for that smile.

  She took the bottle and handed it to him. “Forget integrity. After all that talking I would love to have a drink.”

  With a look of mock disapproval, Cade accepted the wine and placed the bottle securely out of reach on the bookshelf behind his desk. “No intoxicating beverages allowed during working hours, Autumn. You know the rules.”

  “I knew I should have gone with my first instincts.”

  “But think what you would have missed.”

  The laughter in his eyes was addictive, but she managed to resist. “The pleasure of breaking it over your hard, stubborn head.”

  “No, the pleasure of my company at dinner.”

  “Dinner?” she echoed. “Tonight?”

  “Unless you have other plans?”

  “No.” She knew she probably should refuse. “I’d like that.”

  “So would I,” he said. “It’s September twenty-second. Your special day. Did you think I’d forget?”

  The first day of autumn. The day Cade had long since decreed belonged especially to her. The day he’d always managed to make special in so many different ways. It had been a long time since she’d been here to share it with him. Had he thought of her on those days past? Would he think of her on this day in the future?

  “To be honest, I forgot.” Why did her voice sound so listless? And why did his eyes seem suddenly a weary blue? In a distant corner of memory she saw Cade tuck a sunflower into her ponytail and her own self-important pleasure. You can be the sun in my mornings, Autumn. Your hair’s certainly bright enough. His remembered words brought a reminiscent curve to lips that no longer pouted at his teasing, but still knew how to win his smile. “I am free this evening, however. In case you’re having a surprise party for me, I do have a few names you might want to add to the guest list—no more than two hundred or so—but you’ll have plenty of time if you start right away.” She paused to watch the betraying crease at the side of his mouth. “Last-minute get-togethers are so much fun, don’t you think?”

  His lips tightened with resistance before giving in to the smile. “Be ready at seven, Autumn. We’ll have just the kind of party you like.”

  * * * *

  “Party of two,” Cade told the hostess at Whitecliffs.

  As far as Autumn could tell, the restaurant’s only pretension to elegance was its name. There were no hanging baskets of flowers to suggest a hidden garden, no cand
lelight to dance upon mirrored reflections—possibly because there were no mirrors. The view from the windows was dark, but she graciously assumed that it would be a very nice view during the daytime. The tables were cloth-covered and the matching napkins were folded neatly beneath silverware that was shiny, but a long way from the rich gleam of sterling.

  After the hostess had left them with menus and the promise of coffee, Autumn leaned forward. “So this is Eastport’s newest eating establishment. It’s impressive compared to Bernie’s, isn’t it?”

  Cade lowered his menu. “Almost anything is impressive if compared to Bernie’s. The decor there is a neon sign out front and a hand-printed bill of fare over the door. The food is good though. But wait until you taste the seafood here, Autumn. It more than makes up for the lack of stiff-necked maître d’s and glitzy decor you’re used to.”

  With a blink of surprise Autumn laid her menu on the table. “Why would anyone want to become used to that?”

  “Don’t ask me. You’re the one who always said atmosphere was the most important part of dining.”

  There was a glimmer of challenge in the blue eyes regarding her and a hint of cool irritation in the look she returned. “I was wrong. The most important part is enjoying the company of the person across the table.”

  The corner of his mouth slanted slowly upward. “Then you and I are in luck tonight, aren’t we?”

  Two steaming cups provided by a pleasant waitress took the place of a reply and Autumn concentrated on adding cream to her coffee. She didn’t feel especially lucky. Or even very special. From the moment she’d floated down the stairs, ready to spend the evening or the rest of her life with him, Cade had dampened her spirits with the most innocuous of remarks.

  You look nice, he had said, wiping out in three words the extra time and effort she’d spent on her appearance. Watch your skirt, had been his only comment on her teal blue off-the-shoulder, expensive afternoon dress. She had bought it in Paris on impulse, using close to an entire month’s salary, and Cade had almost shut the car door on it. He would have, too, if she hadn’t quickly gathered in the circle skirt at his command. You should have brought a sweater, was as close as he came to noticing what she considered a very flattering neckline. He hadn’t wasted any time on getting to Whitecliffs restaurant either, and Autumn had been tempted to ask if he had a late date.