Docked

by Wade, Rachael

  The elevator doors open, but I don’t move.

  “No, I didn’t. Tanner mentioned his father passed away, but he didn’t tell me much else.”

  “It’s strange, I can’t seem to find any comments from Tanner or his mother. They’ve been pretty tight lipped about the whole thing, apparently.”

  “Hhhmm,” I murmur, stepping out into the hall. “They probably wanted some privacy to deal with the grief.”

  “Yeah, that makes sense.” I hear the tapping of fingers on a keyboard. “I also found out Tanner will be joining forces with Simmons International, a competitor cruise liner. Some merger deal, or something. They might be changing the name of the Trident Voyager.”

  “Oh, really? His secretary said something last night about a merger. And I saw some notes on his desk about it.”

  “Anya Banks, you were snooping!”

  “I was not! I was just organizing his desk again. The man is so damn unorganized, it makes me crazy. I don’t know how he functions in that office of his.”

  Lana laughs. “Okay, well, I’ll see you in a bit. I have to get these notes done and do a little more digging so you have plenty to work with. I spoke to Ted, and it’s official—the review is definitely yours. He was quite thrilled that Tanner Christensen himself called to recommend you for the feature.”

  I smile. “Well, okay, but don’t worry about doing too much research. It’s a review, not an informative piece. You know the drill.”

  “I know, I know, but maybe some of this dirt will give you ideas for an angle. I’ve been partying all week, I need to do some work to justify my ass being on this ship.” She giggles and sighs. “Come find me when you’re ready.”

  “Will do. Thanks, Lan.” We hang up and I start for Tanner’s office. I want to thank him again for last night and wish him a good day before I meet up with Lana. I begin composing him a text to let him know I’m on my way.

  I reach his office and Heidi is there, once again typing away, her fingers flying so quickly over the keyboard, it makes my head spin. Her eyes are wide and the phone is ringing off the hook. She glances up at me and holds up a finger, answering the line. Tanner’s office doors are closed, and I hear a low rumbling from behind them, then a loud crash. I jump, glancing curiously at Heidi. She hangs up and drops her head in her hands.

  “Hey, Miss Banks, what can I do for you?” She lifts a bottle of aspirin from the desk and flinches when the phone rings again. “You look like you’re feeling better today.”

  “Thanks. You look…stressed.” Another loud crash sounds from Tanner’s office and we both glance toward the doors. “Is everything okay?”

  “Define okay.” She pops an aspirin and chases it down with some water.

  “Um…I was wondering if I could have a second with Tanner.”

  “Enter at your own risk. He’s on the warpath today. He might just lob my head off if I send you in there, but he seems fond of you, so I’m willing to take the risk. Maybe you can calm him down.” She waves me away frantically, urging me on, and I hesitantly start for the door, not bothering to knock. I stand there for a moment and listen. With a deep breath, I step inside.

  And my jaw drops.

  There’s glass everywhere—surrounding his desk, in the middle of the room, and in the corner, in heaps near the wall. Broken pieces of what look like picture frames are scattered with the glass, and upon closer inspection, I see photos and what look like awards of some sort.

  “Tanner?” I gasp, closing the door behind me.

  He’s pacing in front of the office windows, pulling at his hair. He spins when he hears me, chest heaving. “What are you doing here, Miss Banks?”

  “I—I came to thank you again for last night. I…Tanner, what’s going on?”

  “It’s no business of yours. Please, Anya, now isn’t a good time.”

  “You’re bleeding,” I say, moving forward when I spot smeared crimson on his knuckles.

  “I’m fine,” he huffs, turning away.

  I don’t let him deter me. I grab his hand and inspect it, glancing around for a box of tissues. I spot and pluck one up from the corner of the desk and begin to dab at the blood. “Hold still a minute.” I press the tissue firmly against him and walk to the bottom left desk drawer.

  “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “Getting the first aid kit.”

  “What first aid kit?”

  “The one you didn’t know you had. I stored it in this drawer when I cleaned your desk last night.”

  His nostrils flare. “About that. You have to stop doing that.”

  “I was only trying to help.”

  “Well, you’ve made a mess of things. I can’t find a single number I need.”

  I retrieve the first aid kit and pause to peel a yellow sticky note from his forearm. It’s stuck to the bottom of the suit jacket sleeve. I smile and hand it to him, but that seems to only upset him more. He slams it onto the desktop.

  “All of your numbers are right there, next to the phone.” I nod to an arrangement of notes, but he doesn’t follow my gaze.

  “Miss Banks, this isn’t necessary.” He pulls the tissue from his knuckle, knots it up and tosses it in the trash can. “Thank you for stopping by, but I’m busy at the moment.”

  “I’ll leave you be as soon as you’re cleaned up. Do not argue with me, Mr. Christensen.” My gaze floats up and locks on his. The exchange is brief. I tear open an alcohol wipe and rub his knuckle, blowing on the skin to soothe the sting. He flinches. I feel his eyes on me, but I keep working. Next comes the ointment and bandages, and he remains quiet, allowing me to play nurse. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No.”

  “Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?” I discard the bandage wrappers and then step closer, lowering a hand to brush over his groin, stroking softly. His eyes burn and his hands move to cup my ass, pulling me tighter against him.

  His voice is gravelly. “You know how to speak my language, Miss Banks.”

  I playfully give him a push back, guiding him to his desk chair, and he lets himself fall into it, his intense gaze following my every move. I slowly stroll toward him and begin pulling the straps of my dress down my shoulders, wedging myself between his legs. He splays them wide, letting me wiggle my way in, and begins stroking himself over his pants.

  “I believe it’s my turn to take care of you,” I say, smirking coyly. I start to lower my body, bringing my knees to the floor. He groans at the sight but doesn’t let me stay there long. I’m swiftly brought back to my feet and picked up, then set on the edge of the desk.

  “You’ll cut your knees,” he says huskily. “Glass everywhere.” He switches places with me, positioning his waist between my legs, and then bends to bring his mouth down on mine. This kiss is ferocious. Starved and 100 percent desperate. Somewhere, a spring in him snaps and he’s tearing at my dress as if he can’t get to my skin fast enough. His hands cover my bare breasts and squeeze hard, his teeth nipping at my bottom lip. “Let me please you, Miss Banks.”

  “I want to please you.” I bite him back, thrusting my hips up to search for the friction. His wild, piercing sapphire eyes find me and he lifts me again, wrapping me around his waist. He turns us and stumbles over to the porthole window on the left, which is placed at an angle next to the main window. My back hits the glass and he moans, freeing his cock and yanking my panties and dress down my legs.

  “You do please me. Every damn time.” He grabs himself and presses against my entrance, palm smacking flat against the porthole window. “Let me in, baby.”

  I sigh in pure pleasure as I lower myself and take him. His fingers glide against the sides of my ass as he holds me against the window, and his mouth covers mine, devouring me. A collective moan escapes us at the contact, and then Tanner’s thighs are flexing against me, his heart pounding against my chest.

  He smashes into me, thrusting up and pushing full tilt with each charge. My fingers dig into his shoulders and
I watch through my dizzy haze as a wave of sweat breaks out across his forehead. He’s driving into me so hard, so fast, he just might break us both. I welcome the speed, encourage the rhythm, knowing he needs the aggression right now. Whatever was going on in this office when I showed up, he’s working it out now, in body, soul, and mind. Each stretch of his abdomen, each jolt of his groin is an expression, his body telling my body something. A story I’ve yet to uncover, a passion I’ve only known in one dimension.

  A work of art.

  I drop my chin and nip at his shoulder, resting my cheek against him, reveling in his power. His hand glides up and cradles the back of my head, tugging at the roots of my skull as he smacks his skin against mine, chest tensing with every sharp shot.

  “Did he touch you?” he grunts against my neck.

  “What?” My voice shakes and my chin bumps his shoulder.

  “Did you let him touch you last night?”

  “No, I told you I wouldn’t.”

  “You kept your word.”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Now come for me. Loudly. I want the whole fucking ship to hear.” He strikes me hard and I cry out, feeling the release build, the buzzing between my thighs flare and burn. We crash against one another, cracking each other open from the inside out, and I scream, my head falling back against the glass. Tanner pumps relentlessly, even as I float down, even as my shouts fade. He finally breaks, finally rolls to a stop, breathing hard into my hair. My entire body collapses and melts against the porthole, and he slumps forward, pinning me to it.

  “I never wanted to own this ship,” he pants. “I never wanted this.”

  I struggle to catch my breath. I can’t process what he’s saying. I’m too stunned. “You…you what?”

  “I hated my father. He was a lying, cheating bastard, and he cared for no one but himself. It wasn’t until he blew all his money that he realized he’d been a shit husband and a shit father. That’s when he tried to make amends. He started donating things, tried pleasing my mother. But there was no pleasing her. Not after all he’d done to her.”

  Our hearts beat against one another as I watch him, my skin sticking to his. “Then why do you own it?”

  “When he died, I wanted to make it up to my mother somehow. Wanted to make her happy.”

  “And you thought taking over your father’s ship would do that?”

  “It was because of my mother and her money that my father ever succeeded. She was the one who gave him his start years ago, when they first fell in love. She’s the reason his business ever left the ground. She gave him everything. I know she’s an unhappy woman. She’s not easily tolerable. But I understand where it all comes from. I understand why she is the way she is.”

  “It doesn’t excuse her behavior toward you,” I say quietly. Or toward your guests.

  “Of course not. But the truth remains: my father betrayed her. I owe it to her to turn this ship around, to turn this business around, to restore it somehow. She goes on and on about his legacy, how it’s our responsibility to protect it, but it’s really what he did to her legacy that upsets her. She wants to salvage it, but she’s become just as obsessed with it as my father was. She’s asking me to do things…telling me to do things that I just can’t do.”

  “What is she asking you to do?”

  He pulls back, letting me slide down from the glass, peering down at the floor to help me plant my feet on the carpet. “Never mind. It’s nothing.”

  “It’s obviously something.”

  “It doesn’t matter. I still chose this. This is on me.”

  “Is that what this is all about?” I gesture to the broken picture frames and awards around us. “Where did this all come from? The bedside tables at your beach house?”

  Tanner zips up and his gaze jumps to mine. “What about the bedside tables?”

  “The pictures—all the pictures. I found them in the drawers when I was searching for sunscreen.”

  “Why were you rummaging through those drawers?”

  “I just told you, I needed sunscreen. Are these the same ones?” I point to a small silver frame near our feet.

  “No. These were stashed in my office closet.”

  “Why do you keep them hidden? They’re such nice photographs.”

  “I don’t want reminders of my father around, Miss Banks. You must have gathered by now that he’s a sore subject for me.”

  “Of course, but…I thought you loved taking his place. You’re so proud of this ship. You seem to love your position here. You’re rich, you’re powerful, you play. I don’t understand. Your father is a big part of that.”

  “My father was a phony. He deceived his family, his co-workers, those he claimed to love. He pretended to be a family man. He was no family man. He was screwing his secretary on the weekends and he blew all of our money traveling the world, on hookers and drugs. There was nothing honorable about his legacy, other than he knew how to provide excellent guest service.”

  “That’s how you and your father are alike.”

  “Were,” he corrects, leaning down to pick up a piece of a frame. I’m still leaning there, naked, against the porthole window in nothing but my heels, completely enraptured in what this man’s telling me. I suddenly see a glimpse of Tanner Christensen, the man, not just the businessman, and my heart races a little faster with the discovery.

  “He appreciated fine service. I appreciate fine service. He loved the sea, I love the sea. That’s it, nothing more.”

  I swallow, and the word vomit creeps up again. I simply can’t help myself. He walked right into this one. “Your father played.”

  Tanner’s fingers tighten around the broken piece of frame, and he glares at me. “What?”

  “Like you. All the women, no commitment.” I push off of the window and take a hesitant step toward him. “Is that why you hate him so much, because you’re so alike?”

  He drops the frame back to the floor and snatches up my clothes, quickly handing them to me. “I just told you, Miss Banks, I am nothing like my father.”

  “But you just said—”

  “My father was a cheater. He lied to my mother and hurt her in ways I cannot even begin to imagine. I have never cheated on a woman. I outline my intentions—sexually and otherwise—with women right from the get-go. I don’t engage in relationships, and I make that crystal clear.”

  “And I take it that’s why you don’t see marriage in your future? Why you aren’t interested in anything other than casual sex?” I begin to slip my dress on, watching as he begins pushing papers around on his desk, cursing beneath his breath. “Because you think you’ll hurt a woman the way your father hurt your mother? That you’re not capable of a commitment?”

  Tanner explodes, knocking everything off his desk with one wide, strong swoop of his arm. Papers and pens go flying, landing everywhere. My fingers still on my head as I smooth down my hair, and it dawns on me that it’s time to go. He’s hit his limit, and I’ve just stumbled onto a landmine.

  “What is this, a fucking psychoanalysis?”

  I wince. My voice is quiet. Cautious. “You’re worlds away from the man he was, Tanner.”

  His head snaps toward me and he freezes me with an icy glare. “You didn’t know my father.”

  “But I’ve gotten to know you, and I can tell the man standing before me is not that man in that photograph.” My finger lifts, pointing to the frame at my feet. “You’re straightforward and honest. You might be a playboy, but you’re a genuine one. You don’t pretend to be something you’re not. And if you ever decided to settle down with a woman someday, I don’t doubt that you’d do so with respect and loyalty. You wouldn’t commit unless you absolutely wanted to and believed you were capable of it.”

  “Why would you think something like that about me, Miss Banks?” He laughs darkly and his eyes roll upward, to the ceiling. “You have no idea how truly ignoble of a man I am.”

  “Why would I think that?” I walk toward him and gent
ly rest my hand on his shoulder. “Because it’s so blatantly obvious that you want to be everything he wasn’t.”

  Tanner’s gaze falls. He stares down at the desktop.

  “And for the record,” I pick up my clutch and start for the door, “there’s no shame in sharing similar qualities with him. Believe me, there’s always some good along with the bad. You just have to choose what you’ll let in.”

  When I reach the office door, I don’t look back, just step out and close it quietly behind me. Heidi is still busy juggling phone lines, looking just as frazzled as she did when I first arrived. I send her a small, thankful little wave as I pass by, and she returns the gesture half-heartedly. I don’t envy her position, and I certainly don’t envy the mess she must be cleaning up right now, whatever it is.

  My stomach churns and my heart sinks as I step into the elevator. Something has just blown wide open between Tanner and me, and I’m not sure I want to stick around much longer. I’m not sure I want to risk stepping on another landmine.

  Suddenly, this cruise can’t end quickly enough.

  ***

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow your roll. Start from the beginning.” Lana crunches potato chips as she sits up on her lounge chair attentively. I start from scratch, telling her about everything that happened back at Tanner’s office. Once I think I cover all the bases, she exhales loudly. “I still don’t understand why you think this means you have to give up the remainder of your fling.”

  “It’s not that I have to, Lan. It’s that I want to. It just makes sense to end it now. The cruise is almost over, anyway. We had our fun, it’s time to move on. He doesn’t want me involved in his personal business.”

  Lana sets down her bag of chips and rises from the lounge chair. She moves across to mine and bumps my hip, motioning for me to scoot over so she can sit. She lifts her shades to look at me. “So, he’s got some baggage. You do, too. You both saw glimpses of each other’s shit. So, what? If this whole thing is just sex, then what does any of that have to do with anything? He already went and involved you by telling you all of this. Anya?” She moves so I have to look her straight in the eyes. “Talk to me.”