A Broken Us (London Lover Series Book 1)

by Amy Daws

  “Eh, not horrible,” I shrug. “Not great either, but I never made him any promises, so it is what it is and he gets it.”

  “Yeah,” she says.

  “Still sucks though, he deserves better.”

  She nods silently.

  “What’s going on with Theo?” I ask.

  She shakes her head silently at me.

  I shake my head back mirroring her expression.

  She gets up and opens the door to her bedroom, clearly not ready for this conversation. I’m grateful for that because I have Brody to get back up to. She half smiles and pulls me down for a hug. I embrace her short frame and savor the moment, willing myself to find the strength to go.

  I hear the shower running when I hit the third floor. I hesitate outside of the door for a moment, wondering what I should do. If this were us back in the States, I’d barge in and take whatever I wanted from Brody. But there’s an uneasiness here. Brody feels awkward and angry and I’m not sure how to approach him after the whole Liam thing.

  I rub my lips with my fingertips remembering the incredible passionate kiss we shared outside and I shake my head forcefully. This is us. Brody came here to get me back and seeing him has made all of my previous worries and issues a distant memory. I need him right now.

  I open the door and steam comes rushing out. I quietly undress and toss my clothes in a heap on the floor next to his. I draw back the curtain and Brody is standing under the shower spray with his hands on the tiled shower wall and his head hanging low. He looks so sad, so defeated. I hate it.

  He hears the rustle of the shower curtain and turns. His eyes rove down my body and return to my eyes and a second of excitement ignites within them. I step into the tub and he turns to face me completely, his dark blue eyes locked on mine.

  We stand before each other for a moment, having a serious but silent conversation. His eyes are boring into me with intensity, pain, passion, and desire. Mine are boring back into his with remorse, need, and want.

  I reach out and drag my hand down his chest. He grabs my hand and holds it against his heart. I can feel it pounding rapidly beneath my palm.

  “I’ve missed you so much, Brody,” I say, softly.

  “Finley.” His deep voice echoes in the small bathroom.

  Losing all control now, I fall into him and take his mouth with mine. He grips his hands tightly beneath my behind and hoists me up onto his hips. He turns and presses my back against the tile side of the shower. I cry out at the cold wall but he swallows my cries with his mouth.

  “Tell me again, Finley,” he says, roughly.

  “What?” I ask, distracted by the intense feeling of his hips pressing against my center.

  “Tell me how much you’ve missed me. Tell me how much you want me.”

  I move my hips against him, desperate for him to feel how much I’ve missed him.

  “I’ve missed you, Brody. I want you so much right now,” I say, breathing loudly. “I’ve wanted you the whole time I’ve been gone.”

  My hands run down his back to his butt and I feel him clench his buttocks in response. Our kiss is fast and fierce as we frantically attempt to make up for lost time.

  “More,” he growls against my lips.

  “I’ve dreamt about you, Brody. I’ve dreamt about you coming here and making love to me. You’re all I want,” I moan out.

  He stops moving against me and looks directly into my eyes.

  “Brody!” I cry as he enters me in one quick strike.

  He continues staring straight into my eyes as he begins rocking hard inside of me. I relish in the comfortable feeling of being with him again. It’s slightly painful because of the length of time it’s been since I’ve had intercourse. Brody and I never went more than a few days without having sex. We were penurious for each other and felt an intense passion and connection during intercourse.

  “Are you okay?” Brody says, pulling his head back and looking into my light blue eyes.

  I wiggle my hips against him, willing myself to adjust to his size quickly.

  “Yes, yes…don’t stop!” I say, kissing him hard and thrusting my tongue deep into his mouth.

  He moves one of his hands up from my butt and strokes it up my hip to my rib and then cups my breast tightly. Our lips plop loudly as he pulls away from my mouth and dips his head down to take my nipple into his mouth.

  Just watching him suck on my breast brings me to a peak and I cry out loudly as I near a tipping point.

  “Yes!” I cry, dropping my head down onto his shoulder and biting while trying to gain control of myself.

  Brody kisses up my chest and to my neck and then sucks my ear lobe into his mouth. His hand releases my breast and moves up into the nape of my neck. He pulls my hair lightly, but firmly, the way he knows I’ve always liked.

  As he takes control of my head with my hair he rocks into me hard and fast and I come apart looking directly into his eyes. A few more thrusts and he’s following me. He stills inside of me. I know not to worry about using a condom. That unspoken knowledge of the fact that getting pregnant is impossible weighs heavily in my heart. I kiss him hard, willing myself to forget and not fall down that rabbit hole.

  “God, Finley,” he says, pulling back and looking at me. “Tell me you’re with me forever babe. I can’t…I cannot lose you again,” he says, his eyes brimming with tears.

  His emotion shocks me and my jaw drops.

  “Yes, Brody! Yes!” I reply, cupping his face in my hands and dropping soft kisses all over his cheeks, lips, nose, and eyes.

  He sighs hard and kisses me passionately on the lips again.

  “I’m with you forever, Brody. I love you. I love…” I pause, wanting to use our special phrasing but unsure if it still holds as much value since I left him once already. “I love us.”

  He nods his head at me and I can’t help but think how young and scared he looks. Why did I do this to us? Why did I not trust him with this deep, dark piece of me? I can’t give him a child. I know this. Why did I think he wouldn’t want me despite it? I know I need to tell him everything, but right now I just want to reconnect and get us back on firm ground before I drop another bomb on our very fragile relationship.

  Brody sets me back down onto my feet, grabs my sponge hanging from the faucet and fills it with my body wash. He proceeds to scrub my body gently, using his bare hands to rub the soap in and familiarize himself with my body. I take the sponge from him and do the same to him, taking extra time on his back and dropping kisses all over his body in the process.

  When we’re both clean, he shuts the water off, grabs the towel he laid out for himself and dries my hair off with it. He wraps the towel around my shoulders, rubbing my arms soothingly. He then hops out to grab another towel and quickly wipes himself down.

  I stand in the tub and watch him. I can’t believe my Brody is here and we’re together again. I thought I’d lost him forever, yet here he is drying off his yummy naked body right in front of me. He finishes and ties the towel around his waist. Without hesitation, he scoops me up into his arms and carries me across the hallway into my bedroom.

  I see him hesitate slightly at the tiny mattress on the floor before he sets me down onto the bed and covers me up with the purple sheet and comforter. He flips off the light, ditches his towel, and tucks in right behind me, pulling my towel out too.

  After a few moments of silence, he breathes softly into my ear, “I love us, Finley.” He tucks my wet hair behind my ear and kisses my neck softly.

  “I love us too, Brody,” I reply, turning in his arms to face him. The skin-to-skin contact reminds me of the last time we were together. I wrap my arms around him and kiss him again.

  Before I know it, we’re making love again. But it’s slower and softer this time. I’ve reassured him enough for now, we are just making up for lost time. I sigh into his neck and look up to the ceiling, praying that we can make it through all this. I can only hope the power of my heart and my love for him is en
ough to keep him. I hope his dreams can change and shape with me. Regardless, a huge weight is lifted from my heart by having Brody here with me again and I squeeze my eyes shut tightly and focus on that. We’re back together again. We’re us again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  The sun is streaming in brightly through the lace curtains. I feel hot and butterflies flutter in my belly at the recollection that Brody is here—on my tiny twin mattress—with me. His large arm is wrapped tightly around my waist and I gently stroke the fuzzy dark hair on his forearm. God, I can’t believe I ever thought I could leave him so easily. This is Brody.

  I slowly and carefully turn in his arms and he lets out a big sigh in his sleep. I’m inches away from his face, marveling in his beauty. He looks so content right now. His shaggy curly hair is perfectly rumpled from sleep, his milky skin looks beautiful in the morning sunlight and I notice the familiar freckle that sits right below his right eye. I can’t help myself from reaching over and kissing it lightly.

  He stirs and excitement rushes through me as I’m giddy for him to wake up and talk or not talk to me. Flutters rush all over my body as my mouth develops a mind of its own and kisses his freckle again, then slowly makes its way down his cheeks and neck. I drag my lips from spot to spot so I never have to break contact from this amazing, gorgeous, sexy man of mine. I reach his chest and try to shimmy down further to kiss his belly but his arms suddenly grip me tightly.

  “No fair,” he moans, with his eyes still closed. “If you’re going to be kissing me, I at least deserve to be awake for it.”

  His dark blue eyes flutter open and he grins sleepily at me.

  “Otherwise, how can I return the favor?” he says, pulling me back up and nuzzling my neck. When I feel a flick of his tongue against my skin, I can’t take it anymore.

  I press him flat onto his back and straddle him. I rake his chest with my hands and he shudders below me. He’s fully ready for me and I smile, gently easing myself on top of him. His face grows serious with desire as I begin to move in slow, sensuous motions.

  “God, Finley,” he croaks out with his deep, raspy morning-voice. “You are so beautiful.”

  My heart soars at his words. For years Brody has made me feel like the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. There is nothing sexier than this man making me feel good about my body in the throes of passion.

  His hands reach out and fondle my breasts gently and he sits himself up to press his head into my chest. I cry out when he nips at my breast.

  “Brody!” I say, giggling.

  He bands his arms around my waist and rolls me under him. He quickly grabs one of my legs and puts it up on his shoulder, which deepens him into me. I savor the full feeling of him and my eyes flutter back open to look into his eyes. His gorgeous, navy-blue eyes. My hands find their way into his coarse curls and I comb my fingers through them as he continues moving inside of me.

  “I’ve missed us so much, Finley. I’ve missed you so much. I can’t lose you again Finley, I can’t,” he says, his face turning serious as his eyes bore into mine.

  “You won’t, Brody,” I say, lifting my head off the pillow. “I’m here with you, forever now, baby. I can’t leave you ever again. You’re everything to me. Everything.”

  I roll him to his back and take control again. I need him to know how serious and in control of my feelings I am, and taking over the sexual position feels like the best way to relay that message. For the next thirty minutes, that’s exactly what I do. Relay the message.

  When we finish, my limbs are tangled with his, the lavender-colored sheet covering just our essential parts. The purple comforter is a rumpled mess on the floor.

  “I feel weird saying this, but do we need to be worrying about birth control right now, Finley?” his voice hangs in the room.

  I immediately shake my head, “We’re fine. There…there’s nothing to worry about.”

  He sighs, “Well, I know it never happened for us before but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen now, Finley. We probably need to be more careful until we decide what we’re going to do.”

  My heartbeat increases and I can feel it pounding in my chest. I’m not ready to tell Brody there truly is nothing to worry about. I will tell him soon, but I’m not wanting to pop this incredibly sexy bubble we have going right now. I wrack my brain to figure out what I can say in reply to his concerns.

  “Um…we can pick up some condoms today if you want, but for now I’m sure we’re safe. I know where I’m at in my cycle…we’re fine,” I say, sitting up with the sheet held tightly to my chest, feeling like the worst kind of liar.

  I glance back at him and see a fleeting look of sadness, but he doesn’t let it show for long before half-smiling back while gently scratching my back.

  “For the record, you can wake me up like that anytime you want,” he says, sitting up next to me and nipping my shoulder.

  I giggle against him and check the time. It’s nearly ten.

  “Are you feeling jet-lagged? Or do you want to see the city today?” I ask.

  “I feel like a million bucks right now,” he says, stretching and laying back on the mattress with his hands behind his head.

  He looks so happy right now, I can’t help but grin right back at him.

  “Well, it’s Saturday and the farmers’ market here is really cool. Wait ‘til you see all the different stuff they have.”

  He grins back at me, “I’m not gonna lie, I’d be perfectly content to stay in this room all day long.” He sits up onto one arm and raises his eyebrows at me. “Though, I wouldn’t mind a bigger bed.”

  He gives me a hilarious unimpressed expression and I giggle and jump on him.

  “You weren’t complaining last night or this morning!” I say, pushing his shoulder down into the mattress as hard as I can. He barely budges.

  “Promise me you’ll stay completely naked every time we’re on this mattress and I’ll get over it, I suppose,” he quips back at me.

  “You suppose,” I mimic back to him. “Come on, let’s get dressed and go downstairs. I really want you to meet Frank. And I’m sure Leslie would love to actually say hi to you at some point.” I say, standing up butt naked, acting like I’m not the least bit concerned about it.

  His eyes rove over my body and he shakes his head before jumping up at the speed of light. He rams his shoulder into my stomach and stands up with my body draped over him. I squeal when he slaps my ass really hard.

  “Ouch, Brody! Damn it!” I scream. “That hurt!” I cry out, with a big goofy smile on my face as he walks us toward the door.

  “What do you expect, woman? You stand up in front of me like that and you don’t expect some repercussions? I’m going to teach you a really good lesson in that shower again because there are a few areas I want to inspect a little closer,” he says, giving me a quick tweak on my butt.

  He opens the door and marches across the hallway toward the bathroom. I glance down the stairs giggling, and my eyes land on Frank walking by the lower stairwell with a bowl of cereal in his hands.

  I clear my throat and attempt to stifle the laughter bubbling up inside me. Don’t look up, Frank. Don’t look up!

  He looks up. Aw frick, he looked up! His eyes zero in on Brody’s bare ass and my naked body draped over his shoulder. I burst out in a loud riotous laughter as Frank’s spoon remains suspended in the air.

  Brody turns to see what I’m laughing at and gives Frank a full-on frontal assault of his manhood. In epic slow motion, Frank’s jaw drops and milky cereal dribbles off the edge of his bowl onto the floor.

  My voice catches in my throat, unsure what to say.

  “I, uhhhh, Brody! Turn around!” I screech. I can’t even begin to handle the look on Frank’s stunned face right now.

  “Sorry…uh, yeah…um, sorry!” Brody yells down the steps and shuffles us into the bathroom and quickly closes the door.

  I shake my head incredulously as he sets me down. Brody looks at me with a huge shit-e
ating grin. He’s proud of himself right now, the cheeky bastard.

  “Frank is never going to let me live this down, you big jerk!” I say, shoving him light-heartedly in the chest.

  A sweet rumble of laugher shakes his shoulders as he captures my hand against his chest.

  “Who is Frank?” Brody says, laughing at me.

  “My roommate! I do not appreciate you showing him our assets like that. Damn!”

  Brody pulls me into his arms and holds me with the happiest smile I’ve ever seen on him. “Frank didn’t look like he minded one bit,” he murmurs, while kissing up my neck to my ear.

  “I mind!” I reply.

  Brody leans down and consumes my mouth with his tongue.

  I suddenly mind a lot less.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Brody and I get cleaned up and make our way downstairs for some coffee. Leslie and Frank are sitting in the kitchen nook and I smile brightly at them, unwilling to acknowledge the peep show Frank saw only an hour ago.

  “Morning!” I say, cheerily, pulling a not-so-confident-now Brody behind me into the kitchen.

  “Gooooood Mooooorrrrnnniiiiiing,” Frank replies saucily, and Leslie spits out her cereal all over the table.

  I look at Frank and squint my eyes.

  “A very good morning indeed, isn’t it, Brody?” Frank says, looking Brody up and down.

  Brody’s adorable face turns beet red as he shifts awkwardly.

  “Brody,” I say, in a warning tone while boring daggers at Frank. “This is Frank.”

  Frank’s lanky body stands up and he saunters over to Brody. Frank is dressed in another original ensemble of zebra-striped pants and a thermal long-sleeved white shirt. Oh, bless my sweet Brody right now. He was so brazen and arrogant an hour ago but now he’s gone shy on me.

  “Very, very nice to meet you, Brody,” Frank drawls out slowly, shaking Brody’s hand much longer than necessary. “I’ve heard so much about you. And happy to see so much of you now, too. I love those jeans you’re wearing.”