The Diamond Deep

by Brenda Cooper

  “Thank you,” she repeated. “You helped win this fight. You gave us all more freedom. You supported Joel and you supported me.”

  More clapping came at her like a wave.

  She stayed silent until they quieted, a slow process that seemed to ripple outward from her to the back of the room. “I’m glad to see you.”

  People kept calling out the names of her songs.

  A small disturbance at the back of the room caught her attention, and she noticed Onor escorting someone out the door. She couldn’t see the face of the person, or even tell if it was a man or a woman.

  Onor had become efficient.

  Marcelle stalked the opposite side of the room from Onor, effective, driven, and bouncy as ever. If it hadn’t been the wrong moment to do it, Ruby would have burst out in happy laughter. They were all together again.

  She had been going to say she needed to talk more than sing, but clearly the crowd wanted song. She closed her eyes and imagined her voice, strong and loud. “Homecoming” bubbled up in her and she started the first verse with no musical accompaniment.

  Long and dark is our night flight

  No stars shine inside Fire’s skin, only

  Me and you. And love. We’re going home

  By the time the last bits of the song faded away, the crowd looked calmer. Children perched on their parents’ hips and people had moved closer, like just the one song had driven them together. They needed this, needed unity. It was the best gift she could give Joel, the best reward for his love. The support of her people.

  “We are all one,” she said. “Everyone on the Fire is going home. We will get there soon. A week, a month, a year. Two years. We don’t know. We can use the time between now and then to heal and to learn about each other.

  “We’re not separate anymore. If Joel can love me, if Joel can work to liberate you, then we are one ship.” If everyone believed this, it would be so. She took a single step back, lifting her arms.

  The crowd cheered.

  “We are one.”

  They cheered again.

  Onor and Daria and Haric and Marcelle paced the edges, clapping and watching, and from time to time stopping to have brief conversations.

  It felt like a dance.

  Someone in the crowd called out, “Sing the Owl’s Song.”

  She shook her head, pleased even though she refused. “This is not a time for a funeral song. It is a time for happiness.” She sang two traditionals, one about working and another about the stars. During the second one, she realized it must be from before the journey, a song from home. After all, there was no way to see stars inside the Fire. She lowered her voice so far that the sound of others singing rose above it, so the experience became a group bonding more than a concert.

  Two hours passed before the crowd began to fidget between songs and the mothers of toddlers started to sneak away with unruly children. She ended the session the way she had opened it, with the chorus of “Homecoming.” She stood on the end of the stage, looking out, wishing she could hold the moment longer. “Thank you.”

  They began clapping.

  She stepped back, and then back again, and only then did the noise begin to dim and shift to the sounds of feet moving and whispered conversations between friends and family.

  A small group of admirers caught Ruby at the end of the stage and held her there to answer questions while the rest of the room emptied. Haric stuck by her side, watching her, trying so hard to be like Onor that it made her smile.

  A mother with five-year-old twin girls stayed behind to ask Ruby, “How safe will it be at . . . Adiamo. Home? What kind of welcome will we get?”

  “I’m sure they’re looking forward to seeing us, just like we’re looking forward to getting home. Ix says the Adiamo system is a lot like the game.”

  “I want to live on Lym,” one of the girls said.

  Ruby smiled. “Perhaps we will. In the meantime, it can’t hurt for you to play Adiamo a little more. Learn more details.”

  The child gave a sweet, solemn nod. “I want to be like you,” she added.

  “Well, you can sing anywhere.”

  The woman pulled her offspring closer to her. There was a touch of fear in her eyes, even if none of it came through in her voice. “I want a better life for my girls.”

  “I know,” Ruby told her. “At least we’re all equal now.”

  The woman licked her lips. “Maybe.” She took each girl’s hand and turned, the children looking back to wave at Ruby.

  Marcelle and Onor finished sweeping the room and stopped by her. “Haric and I need to get back,” Ruby said.

  “Before Ani and Joel go crazy,” Haric added.

  Marcelle narrowed her eyes. “You snuck out?”

  Ruby grinned. “There wasn’t anyone to tell me not to come. Joel was meeting with his advisors, and Ani had gone to get Dayn from somewhere. I left them a note.”

  Marcelle gave her a high sign while Onor looked away. He was so sensitive. His features fit him—high cheekbones in an oval face, dark hair and eyes, eyelashes too long for a man. Sensitive features, the face of someone who spent his time worrying and daydreaming. Ruby had to admit, he was getting good at being a bodyguard. He’d grown strong and wiry with work, and he was even a bit handsome.

  “Walk with me?” she asked him.

  Onor’s answer was to start off while she and Marcelle followed. She loved him. She truly did. They’d grown up together. But she couldn’t give up Joel, or what she was doing. Nor did she want to. Joel challenged her in ways Onor never could.

  Onor led them into a side corridor and then through a doorway into one of the maintenance corridors. They dodged two cleaning bots and came back out into a bigger hallway surrounded by habs.

  “Where are you taking us?” Ruby asked as he twisted into another empty corridor.

  “It’s a shortcut.”

  Onor stopped suddenly, flinging a hand up to get attention. “Wait,” he hissed.

  Marcelle stepped toward him.

  Ruby wanted to giggle. Marcelle had never listened to Onor. But she sobered up immediately when his hand leapt for the stunner tucked into his belt. He turned and glanced at Ruby, catching her eyes and looking at the weapon in his hand. Before she had time to understand, the heavy weapon arced through the air toward her.

  She caught the gun and pointed it down, her heart racing.

  Onor pulled out a second stunner and kept it. Beside her, Marcelle had her own stunner out and was turning to look behind them.

  Ruby crouched, making herself small, staying ready to run in either direction, to help either friend.

  Onor’s breathing sounded loud. Marcelle turned and bumped into her, almost knocking her off her feet. The corridors looked empty behind and ahead.

  “It’s okay,” Onor whispered, his voice quivery.

  Ruby stood up and touched his back.

  “No,” he said. “It’s not okay. But it’s safe. I think.”

  What could have made him stutter so?

  She stepped around him. A red in full uniform stretched across the floor. His head had been bashed in from behind. One of the rogues? Then some instinct made her empty stomach sour and she leaned over and rolled the body so that she could see his face. Ben’s face.

  Ruby crumpled in on herself, her knees hitting the hard floor. A thin wail of grief rose around her, filling the corridor, and at first she didn’t recognize it as coming from her own heart.

  Ruby periodically wiped angry tears from her face as she, Onor, Marcelle, and Haric walked warily through the back corridors of the ship. She kept seeing the pool of blood below Ben’s head in the corridor. Blood stained the necklace she’d made him, stained her hands, and her hands had stained her new shirt and then her gray pants when she shoved the necklace into her pocket. Blood everywhere.

  Ben’s death cut deeper than any death from the days of fighting, even deeper than Hugh’s. It was like Nona’s death, all those years ago.

  It w
ould haunt her. It would haunt her a long time.

  She would fight harder now. That was how she’d handled Nona dying in her arms, and it was how she’d handle Ben dying in an empty corridor.

  From time to time she swiped at tears.

  It took well over two hours to get home. At least Onor herded them at a good clip, his worry keeping her tense until they neared the barrier between command and the rest of the ship. Once there, she turned to Onor and said, “Will you do me a favor?”

  “What?”

  “Check on Ben’s body. See that he’s treated right, prepared for a full funeral.”

  “After I take you to Joel.”

  She cast a meaningful glance toward the door-symbols which showed they were just on the other side of command. “If I’m not safe in there, I might as well give myself up now.”

  Onor looked like he wanted to refuse, but Marcelle tugged on his arm and said, “You can come back here later. But I have to go home, and I don’t want to be alone.”

  That made Onor go, although he looked pained about it. Bless Marcelle.

  Ruby and Haric headed for the map room.

  “I wish I hadn’t found Ben for you.” Haric sounded miserable.

  “It’s not your fault.”

  Haric looked up at Ruby. “Ben said nice things about you. He liked you a lot. And he was nice to me.”

  Not everyone was. Haric tended to place himself in the middle of everything. He was one of those older boys who wanted to be a man so bad it hurt him. Ruby responded, “He was sweet to everyone, and I’m glad you’re with me.”

  “You do need someone to keep you safe.”

  She smiled for the first time since they’d found Ben’s remains, but hid her smile underneath a cough. “Perhaps we’ll see something in the map room that will tell us something.”

  “Can I go in?”

  “If you’re with me.” Not that she knew that, but she didn’t really care. When they got to the door, she swiped her wrist in front of the lock and pulled Haric in after her. He stopped stiff beside her, his mouth agape.

  The awe on his face reminded her of the first time she’d seen the command table. Command was the only place on the Fire with interactive and detailed maps. Sure, Ix could display bits and pieces anywhere for anyone he wanted, but there were no other display screens big enough to show the whole ship in detail.

  The map room was roughly half the size of the common room she’d just been singing to hundreds of people in. Unlike common, which had odd corners, this was an exact square with seats neatly fastened to the walls. The square table dominated the center of the room.

  Haric raced to the table and stared at the shifting images that showed on its surface.

  On the right side, Ani and Dayn sat beside each other on a couch. Ani’s dark skin stood out from the white walls. Her hair trailed down her side in a thick, unruly braid. Beside Ani, Dayn was gesturing in the air about something, looking quite convinced about some point or another.

  Ruby didn’t see Joel anywhere.

  Movement from the far side of the room caught her eye. A man she’d seen in Joel’s cabinet meetings started straight for Haric. Laird? Yes. He’d led some of the fighters from command, which was more an act of giving orders than of firing a stunner. He’d never shown any appreciation for all her people had done, never welcomed her or Onor or anyone new. She moved to intercept him.

  “What happened to you?” he asked. “There’s blood everywhere.”

  “A friend died.”

  Laird nodded curtly.

  She wasn’t at all sure he was sorry. It was possible he was wishing she had died.

  “Why is that boy here?” he demanded.

  “I let him in.”

  “He’s not cleared.”

  Haric had turned to watch them, his back to the table and his eyes wide. His longish brown hair curled over a dirty blue shirt. The knees of his pants were stained by Ben’s blood. Not exactly the neat look that permeated command. “Haric is my personal runner.”

  “Really?”

  Surely she could convince Joel she needed one. And Haric knew the ship. “Really. He’ll keep our secrets.”

  The glare on Laird’s face told her he had trouble believing either what she said or that she was saying it to him. Maybe both. “You are accountable for him.”

  “Very well.”

  Haric’s shoulders relaxed a little and he seemed to stand taller, but otherwise he didn’t acknowledge that he had been the subject of the conversation. He’d grown up in the cargo bars, so he was used to tense situations. Hopefully he considered this a promotion. “Haric, this is Laird. He is one of Joel’s trusted men.”

  Haric held out a hand. “Pleased to meet you.”

  Laird gave Haric’s hand a very short shake, his facial expression suggesting that touching Haric was about as attractive as a headache. Well, she was getting used to that. Not everyone on this level was charmed by her, either.

  Dayn and Ani had noticed the confrontation and flanked her. “What happened?”

  The blood.

  She nodded at Laird, an attempt at dismissal. He only took a step back and turned, standing with his back to them and contemplating the table but close enough to hear anything she said. “A friend was killed.”

  “In gray?” Ani asked.

  “On the outer level,” Ruby automatically corrected her. “He was a peacer. He used to patrol our area. You saw him. On the vid, the day I sang for Owl Paulie. Ben. The big bulky one who stood beside me, the one I gave a necklace to.”

  “Is that why he was killed?” Haric asked.

  Out of the mouth of a child. “I don’t know.” Ben had been one of the first reds to openly support her, to wear the multiple colors of the revolutionary sign. The idea that he might have died because of that raised a lump in her throat all over again. “We’ll find out.” She didn’t want to talk more with Laird there, so she addressed Ani. “Do you know where Joel is?”

  “Right here.” His rich, strong voice came from behind her, softening her before she even saw him. She had no idea how he’d slid into the room unnoticed.

  Relief filled her.

  He looked down at Ruby, his greenish-blue eyes hard. “I heard there was a murder out there.”

  She felt the tug of him. His presence always warmed and attracted her. Even when he was angry. “I found him. Or, Onor and I did.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It was brutal. Whoever did it bashed his head in with something heavy.” She looked down, her throat thick with new, unshed tears. “I’d just talked to him, just before.” She hesitated again, remembering the hug she’d given Ben. “He came to warn me that Ellis and Sylva are still planning a coup. Ben said they want me, but I bet they want you, too.” She took in a trembling breath and waited for Joel’s reaction.

  He looked even angrier, his jaw set tight. She couldn’t tell if it was because Ben had died, or she had gone out, or on account of Ellis and Sylva.

  In spite of the anger she could feel, he looked neat. That was a signature thing about him; everything in its place. As always. Joel was a little like Ben, she realized. He stuck to his old personae, wore his old uniform. The only visible concession to the new order was a belt her aunt Daria had given him, one Daria’d made herself from braided and dyed tree bark. He took her hand and his face softened a little. “You need to clean up.”

  Yes. And to be alone with him. “Ani, Dayn. Will you show Haric how the table works and then get him a room near ours?”

  Ani nodded, but Dayn mocked her good-naturedly. “Yes, Ma’am. At your pleasure.”

  They had once both been her keepers, almost jailers, and Dayn had ranked Ani. In the last few months, power had reversed. They still worked well together, but since Joel took command, Dayn had grown ever more sarcastic. She liked that about him. “Thank you, Dayn.”

  He grunted. A small laugh escaped Ruby’s lips in spite of her tired, burning anger.

  Ruby worked on the blood
in her shirt, periodically double-tapping the water button to demand more than her allotment. It didn’t matter, not right now. All that mattered was getting the damned blood out of everything. That, and not crying. She couldn’t cry. Joel hated weakness.

  When the water finally ran clear, she hung her dripping shirt to dry in the tiny shower. She ran a comb through her hair, then pinched her cheeks to color them. Clad in damp underwear, she walked from the privy to the bedroom. Joel sat on the bad, fully dressed, a serious look on his face. “You shouldn’t have been out there.”

  “Of course I should have.”

  “I don’t intend to scrub your blood from my hands.”

  She opened a drawer. “Good. I don’t want you to. Ever.” She faced him and gave him her best smile. “I have to go out there.” Her voice still shook a little. She took a deep breath. “It’s for you, too.”

  He pulled her back on the bed, turned so he held her down ever so gently. “Having you safe is good for me.”

  She stayed still under his arm, thinking about how to handle him in this moment. “We need my people. They won’t respect just talking to them through speakers. They need to see us.” She took a deep breath. “Besides, that’s what we fought for. So I could be here.” She wriggled, rolled to a face him. “I fought to be free to go anywhere on the ship. That meant to go home to my people, and to come home to you.”

  He smothered her mouth with his, and she returned the kiss. Hard. As soon as he lifted some of his weight from her, she pushed him further away and sat up on the bed, crossing her legs in front of her as if she were in a dress instead of nearly naked, and leaning back on her hands. “I will not give up my freedom.”

  He stared at her, his incredibly colored eyes looking directly at her, blue and green and flecked with gold, and so strong. She loved those eyes, could fall into them. “We have to work together,” she whispered.

  “We can work together here.”

  “You could come with me,” she countered.

  “No.” He shook his head and reached a hand out, setting it warm and firm on her calf. His voice was soft. “I’ve been there before, you know. It’s where I met Onor. But right now there is no time. You have no idea how many people need a piece of me, or how many enemies we have.”