Can't Let You Go: A Bully Romance

by S. J. Black

  How the fuck did he get her number? More, importantly, what did he want with her? After all this time, she had worked hard to forget him, to push him out of her life, only for the universe to play some sort of sick game with her. Her anxiety levels began to rose, her chest tightened.

  She needed some air.

  As April walked out her dorm room, folding her arms in a bid to fight her restlessness, she had a strange sense of foreboding that morning. First she could have sworn that she saw Aaron Cole lurking around campus, that scruffy mane noticeable to even her poor vision and then he calls out of nowhere. This had to be a sick joke.

  Walking past the lake, she kept her head down until she saw a familiar figure right in front of her.

  His tall figure was not facing her, instead his lean back was turned to her, the muscles carved in the back of his white t-shirt. He was carrying a backpack, while talking casually to another guy. That other guy was Jackson.

  It's probably nothing, Jackson's just talking to someone who looks like him. Just a coincidence.

  But the posture is the same. His hair looks the same, maybe a bit longer. It could be him, April.

  No!

  Her mind wrestled these thoughts, an internal conflict arising already this early in the morning. As the figure in question was still talking, Jackson caught April's eye. She froze. A flash of emotion ran through his eyes, almost a sign of panic. Noticing Jackson's eyes trailing away from him, the figure in question turned his body slowly to face April.

  No, no, no.

  It was him.

  Aaron Cole was standing in front of her, his face flashing in recognition. He hadn't changed at all; his body was the same; a tall, muscular frame stood before her, the same physique he carried in high school. His sandy, curly hair sat just a few inches above his shoulders; it glistened hues of gold and ember in the sun. It wasn't fair, she thought, his long jawline was still there, still rivalling Jackson's, and his roman nose. He was still the handsome bastard she remembered. Yet, it was his eyes that haunted her. His hazel eyes, flashed in anticipation and something akin to a hungry pursuit as looked her over. He was looking at her like she was something appetizing to him, like he never wished to take his eyes off her.

  April quietly gasped in fear.

  "Hey April!" Jackson called to her. She didn't hear him, her eyes locked on Aaron as he remained silent, still gazing intently at her.

  The air suffocated her. Her only respite of the lake now became another cage in which her demons would continually haunt her. Another reminder that he would always with her; emotionally and physically.

  She didn't need another reunion. Not with him.

  Without even blinking, April turned and ran the way she came. She ignored the cries of her name.

  The rest of the afternoon was a blur. She had found out from her old high school friends that Aaron had transferred to her college a few weeks back.

  She had seen him around campus, but he never showed himself truly. Until this morning, that is.

  He had called her this morning and continuously before that. He wanted to talk to her, that was for sure.

  But what for?

  Probably to finish what he started, thought April.

  She tried to avoid him for the rest of that day, but not without some difficulty from his side. It was as though seeing her in the flesh for the first time renewed a sense of vigour within him. He was determined to catch her eye.

  During classes, as she walked on campus, she could see him, sitting with Jackson, or chatting to some girl about god knows what. Then, almost as if could sense her presence, his eyes would find her and hold on. He wouldn't let her go, not as she continued to avoid eye contact or walked the other way. He once tried to catch her attention, calling her out on the field.

  "Hey!" he yelled, a grin plastered on his face.

  She was practicing with the soccer team when she saw him on the fields, with the male football team, looking straight at her. He was messy, dressed in the uniform but with mud all over him. The bastard still managed to look attractive.

  She ignored him, but not without bestowing upon a hardened glare.

  Back off.

  Whether he got the message or not, April couldn't tell for he shook his head, laughing at the interaction, before catching up with the rest of his team. He looked back once to where she stood, his eyes twinkling in a challenge.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The next morning was a pain in the ass. This was her first Behavioural Sciences class after the summer break and nervous was an understatement. The events of yesterday had taken a toll on her sense of security, now that the high school wolf had followed her to campus. Now, she had learned that he was in the same class as her.

  She thought she had overreacted this morning, sensing that something would be amiss in her first class today. So, ever the wannabe Nancy Drew, she arrived to her class that day twenty minutes before Professor Sanderson would arrive. They were to complete a group exercise today but the partners remained a secret until today. April looked behind her eye to check she hadn't been followed before heading over to the front desk.

  Bingo .

  The list of names for today's group project were sitting on his desk. As she scanned the names, her breathing stilled in pained recognition.

  April Solomon + Aaron Cole* - societal structures and human behaviour

  She had been right. Cursing quietly, she exhaled in frustration. This was like high school all over again. Except this time, she would be in charge of her own destiny.

  Grabbing a pen, she quickly crossed out Aaron's name and swapped his for Jackson's. Luckily, Professor Sanderson had written the list by hand; perhaps, he would owe the scrawled alteration as something he did after one too many glasses of wine.

  There was a slight shuffle to her right, April stood up in fear.

  Nothing came after.

  It must have been a false alarm, she thought. But she didn't want to risk any more scares. Placing the paper carefully back on the table, she quietly left the hall, closing the door with absolute silence.

  FORTY MINUTES LATER

  "All right, class, if we can start today's seminar with as little distraction as possible. Blake, look alive please," Professor Sanderson drawled.

  April entered the hall, an unreadable expression fluttering across her face. She found Aaron right in the middle, reading something on his desk. A student next to her barged into her accidently, causing the books April was holding to fall on the floor.

  "Oh shit! Sorry, April!" Cordelia said hurriedly, bending down to help April with her books.

  "It's okay, Cordelia," April muttered, picking up her things as quickly as she could.

  As she got up, April found Aaron watching her.

  She ignored him, blinking away from his gaze. She took her seat on the left side of the hall, feeling a pair of eyes follow her.

  This was going to be a long day.

  "Okay, class. The group project starts today, I've got your partners ready so listen up," Professor Sanderson said.

  The students sat up, hoping that the professor would take pity on them and partner them with their friends.

  "Cordelia, you'll be working with Lionel. You'll be looking at institutions and their role in human behaviour," he muttered.

  Some of the students hollered in approval.

  "Settle down please, this is not a circus," Professor Sanderson berated.

  "Michael, please move next to Tommy, he'll be your partner,"

  "Jane, with Andrew,"

  "Samantha, you'll be with Georgia,"

  As Sanderson trailed off, April felt her heart rate escalate. She was going to be sick. Her name was next and she'd hope he wouldn't take notice of the scribbles.

  Please.

  "Jackson, you'll be paired with Evie," he said frowning slightly at his paper April's body went numb.

  No, Jackson was supposed to be with me.

  She was sure she had changed the names. Did he have anothe
r copy?

  No, he didn't. It's the same paper, April, look!

  April couldn't breathe. Something had gone very wrong.

  “April. Let's see. Hm, I don't know how tired I must have been when I wrote this, I can't even ready my handwriting. Anyway, Mis Solomon you'll be paired with” There a slight pause as Mr. Sanderson hesitantly pursed his lips. His expression wavered slightly at the piece of paper in his hands.

  Why did he stop?

  April felt a shiver run on her spine, almost anticipating what was about to happen. Her eyes slowly bulged in fear.

  No, please.

  “…Aaron Cole.” Silence simmered into the classroom.

  This can’t be happening.

  “It doesn’t say his name on there,” She muttered before looking up towards the front. Her classmates peered strangely at the voice that spoke at the back of the classroom.

  Rising up from her seat, she repeated the sentence more forcefully.

  “It doesn’t say his name on there! You’re lying. Read the card properly, sir!”

  “Excuse me, lower your voice,” Mr. Sanderson quietly uttered in a deadly tone. “You don’t speak that way to a professor and you certainly won’t do it in my classroom. Compose yourself before I send you out of here,” he said.

  She knew that Aaron was not her original partner. How could he even be in her fucking class, in the first place? The names were organised before anyone could touch them and she knew it. She was the one who snuck in early after all and organised her name to ensure it was partnered with Jackson. Wrong and unethical in so many ways, but she did what she had to do. Then, for Mr. Sanderson to suddenly call her name out next to Aaron’s, who until thirty minutes ago, hadn’t even taken this class - it made absolutely no sense. Was he lying to pair them together? That couldn’t be right. As much as the universe was unfavourable to her chances, there was not a slight chance that the names magically changed themselves. Someone else had interfered in the names selection.

  “Someone’s changed the names, give me that paper now!” she strode forward.

  All eyes fell upon the hysterical girl quickly making her way to the front podium. Sensing the oncoming uproar and potential exclusion for April, Mr. Sanderson motioned for Blake to stop her. Blake hesitantly held out his arm but this wasn’t without struggle, as April pushed him aside, he held her from behind.

  “Get off me! Blake, get your hands off me,” She attempted to shove Blake off her as she thrashed violently, almost as if every touch further cemented her decided fate. April knocked over the pile of papers on Mr. Sanderson’s desk before kicking the tray of folders to the floor.

  “Miss Solomon, out! Out of my classroom. You, take her to the Ms. Fenway’s office. Now!” he shouted.

  Left with no option, Blake grappled a thrashing and very resistant April out of the room towards the Head of Human Sciences’ office.

  Before being unceremoniously dragged out the door, April turned back to her right. Her eyes found Aaron Cole, seated right at the back. Almost as quickly as she saw him, the truth about her misfortune materialised.

  The bastard winked at her, a fleeting gesture, exposing a flash of triumph. His eyes were bright – was he happy to do this?

  He knew. He knew I tried to change the names.

  ✽✽✽

  “How did you find out?” said April.

  Aaron vacantly staring down at the lunch table raised his eyes to meet hers. It was four o’clock and the cafeteria was completely empty. After being sent to Ms. Fenway’s office, April worked in isolation until three o’clock to which she was dismissed her back to her dorm room, like some kind of wild toddler who needed a time out. As she despondently walked back to her dorm, she passed the cafeteria to find Aaron sitting there, twirling his keys idly. He looked bored, almost lost in the large hall. April swallowed any sliver of compassion that threatened to overwhelm her when she remembered how happy he was to do this to her. She changed direction and walked straight into the cafeteria.

  Aaron, sensing another presence in the hall, lifted his head up to find April walking resolutely towards him, stone faced. He straightened his back slightly, anticipating her next move.

  April searched for any trace of remorse in his face, something to fathom why he had changed the names.

  “Hey asshole, why’d you do it?”

  “You know why,” He simply articulated. He leveled his gaze coolly to meet hers, raising his eyebrow questioningly. His tone changed, back to the mocking Aaron she recognised. “I can’t say that it didn’t hurt my feelings, ignoring me the way you did but what can you do,” His eyes maintained the distant stare, relaxing briefly whilst looking at April’s confused face.

  She shakily looked around the room. His confession had doomed her to academic life to one of helpless dependence again. His selfish nature had condemned her.

  “You bastard,” She looked back at his eyes brusquely, raising her voice, “do you think that I would ever want to be near you after what you did to me? You think you have the right to make my choices for me? You make my skin crawl,” she spat out to him, eyes seething.

  Before knowing what she was fully about to do, April lunged over the oak table and reached for his sweatshirt lapel with all of her rage. Aaron quickly held onto her wrists, stopping her from clawing at his face. As much as she tugged away from him, his grip on her wrists was unrelenting.

  “You know, violence is a terrible trait in a person and I don’t think it’s very becoming of you,” Aaron mused. April said nothing and continued with her struggles. His eyes hardened when she nearly was successful in making a move to get away from him. “I know what you think of me, April. Don’t you know how it hurts my feelings when you look at me like that?”

  April wrinkled her brows in bewilderment. His expression was serious, beseeching her eyes to believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. This couldn’t be happening, she thought. All her school life, she remembered Aaron to be a wolf and she struggled to find any inkling of a troubled man who battled an emotional conflict inside of him like the one in front of her. His eyes could stare straight into your soul; it was almost as though he knew what the person was thinking. He always looked at her with this strange depth, almost as if he was penetrating her mind to see behind her façade. April just couldn’t understand him. Nor did she want to. He had no qualms in constantly calling her out in front of everyone, never truly leaving her alone in high school. She never wanted to be that person ever again.

  She quickly found an opening out of the trap. April released her left elbow and made contact with the nose. Aaron let her go with such speed as his face contorted in pain. He held onto the affected region, while placing April in a firm stare.

  “This isn’t going to go away just because you want it to, April,” he hissed.

  “Well, I’ll have a great time trying, you piece of shit. Don’t even think of coming near me,” she said.

  “Well, that’s going to be a tad difficult,” he said, sniffing slightly as he released his hand and placed both hands on the table. If he was attempting to intimidate her, she wasn’t giving him the satisfaction.

  She did feel her heartbeat quicken; she felt sick.

  “I don’t care. Don’t come anywhere near me ever again. Do what you want with that,” April cried out the last sentence before turning away from the room, walking determinedly towards her dormitory.

  ✽✽✽

  April slammed her way into her room, hair flaying across maniacally. Selma jumped at the noise, watching her roommate flop down onto her bed with a frustrated grunt.

  “Bad grade?” Selma asked tentatively.

  “Soon to be,” muttered April.

  Selma closed her laptop as she turned towards her roommate. April was staring despondently at the ceiling, waiting for the moment that this would have been a horrible out of body experience that would cease to terrify her.

  “April, what happened? Is it Professor. Kelman again? If it helps, half of us
flunked the assignment,”

  “I just saw someone who made my entire high school living experience a living nightmare. He’s in my two of my Human Behavioural Science classes. So, I’m just contemplating how to break it to my parents that I’m dropping out of college and moving into their basement,” mumbled April.

  “Wait, you’re not serious?” asked Selma.

  April turned her head to her roommate, with a blank stare.

  “I am not going back to that class, Selma,” she said.

  “Well, dropping out is not an option. Come on, seriously? It’s just a guy; you’re going to give up your whole college experience because some asshole is in the same class as you? Dude, that isn’t going to help us smash the patriarchy,” Selma said. She sat up straight before clearing her throat, “You’re not dropping out. What you’re going to do is carry on as normal. Just ignore the guy,”

  “Already tried that. He noticed that I was avoiding him and made sure we became partners in class,”

  “What?” exclaimed Selma, frowning in confusion.

  “Not only do I have to see him everyday, but I have to sit next to him and talk to him as if there’s nothing wrong between us because he decided to switch the names and make both of us partners,” April closed her eyes, feeling a migraine coming on. “I don’t know why he’s doing this to me even in college, Selma. Hasn’t he made my life miserable enough?”

  Selma exhaled deeply. Pursing her lips, she went over to sit on April’s bed. She rested her hand on her back.

  “If there’s one thing I want you to take from my advice it’s this , and I want you to listen very carefully, because this is the only thing you’ll hear from me on this – “ April looked up with faux doe eyes, “do not even think about dropping out.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  ✽✽✽

  As April absentmindedly unpacked her gym bag, a group of freshman girls spilled into the changing rooms alongside Ms. Kasey.