B007Q6XJAO EBOK

by Prioleau, Betsy

  61 “Apollo”: Quoted in “Introduction” in C. A. Helvétius, De L’esprit or Essays on the Mind and Its Several Faculties (London: J. M. Richardson, 1809), vi.

  62 “Look like this man”: Quoted in Bertaut, Égéries, 148.

  62 “joined more delicacy”: Quoted in ibid., 149.

  62 “greatest happiness”: Quoted in Darrin M. McMahon, Happiness: A History (New York: Grove Press, 2006), 217.

  62 Unalloyed virtue: For this insight and study, see Helen Fisher, Why Him? Why Her? (New York: Henry Holt, 2010), 206.

  62 Medieval amorists: Capellanus, Art of Courtly Love, 35. Here Capellanus writes, “ ‘Beauty alone never pleases if it lacks goodness,’ and it is excellence of character alone which blesses a man with true nobility.”

  62 “Honesty [and] virtue”: Robert Burton, The Anatomy of Melancholy, ed. Floyd Dell and Paul Jordan-Smith (New York: Tudor, 1927), 631.

  62 “No love without goodness”: Baldesar Castiglione, The Book of the Courtier, trans. Charles S. Singleton (Garden City, NY: Anchor Books, 1959), 335.

  62 Solomon believes: See Robert C. Solomon, About Love: Reinventing Romance for Our Times (New York: Touchstone Books/Simon & Schuster, 1989), 240–246.

  62 women seem to be of two minds: This is a contentious issue, with a number of contradictory studies. For the female preference for male kindness and sincerity, for nice guys, see David M. Buss, The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating (New York: Basic Books/HarperCollins, 1994), 44–45; and for the contrary view, see Mason Inman, “Bad Guys Really Do Get the Most Girls,” New Scientist, June 18, 2008.

  62 “that old-fashioned quality”: Erica Jong, “The Perfect Man,” in What Do Women Want? (New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 1998), 172.

  63 polarized choice: See Edward Horgan, “Exceeding the Threshold: Why Women Prefer Bad Boys,” Exposé: Writing from the Harvard Community (2011), 1–14, expose.fas.harvard.edu/issues/issues_2011/horgan.html (accessed January 26, 2012).

  63 Miller speculates: Geoffrey Miller, “Virtues of Good Breeding,” in Miller, Mating Mind, 339. Also see 292–340.

  63 “You enjoy helping those”: Steven Pinker, How the Mind Works (New York: W. W. Norton, 1997), 400.

  63 “giver of good things”: Norman O. Brown, Hermes the Thief: The Evolution of a Myth (New York: Vintage Books, 1947), 23.

  63 “too reckless” Cuchulain: Norma Lorre Goodrich, Medieval Myths (New York: Meridian Books/Penguin, 1961), 186.

  63 Female readers always rate: According to a recent poll conducted by the Orange Prize for Fiction, 1,900 women voted for “Mr. Darcy as the man they would most like to go on a date with.” Cherry Potter, “Why Do We Still Fall for Mr. Darcy?” Guardian, September 29, 2004.

  63 “You showed me”: Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (New York: Middleton Classics, 2009), 317.

  64 “with kindness”: Quoted in Lydia Flem, Casanova: The Man Who Really Loved Women, trans. Catherine Temerson (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1997), 217.

  64 “sweetness of character”: Charlotte Haldane, Alfred: The Passionate Life of Alfred de Musset (New York: Roy, 1961), 67.

  64 “extraordinary, good person”: Quoted in Suzanne Finstad, Warren Beatty: A Private Man (New York: Three Rivers Press, 2005), 350.

  64 “fornication and bastardy”: Peter Guralnick, Dream Boogie: The Triumph of Sam Cooke (New York: Back Bay Books, 2005), 229.

  64 “woman’s man”: Ibid., 496.

  64 “genuineness”: Quoted in ibid., 101, 142.

  65 He had erotic crackle: Ibid., 210.

  65 “never crass, never vulgar”: Ibid., 195.

  65 “Lady, you shot me”: Quoted in ibid., 619.

  65 “a real gentlemen”: Quoted in ibid., 361, 275.

  66 “needn’t be such a saint”: George Gershwin, “Boy Wanted,” WB Music, 1924.

  66 “will tame”: Ovid, The Art of Love, trans. Rolfe Humphries (Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1957), 137.

  66 “All true desire”: Robert Bly, Iron John: A Book about Men (New York: Addison-Wesley, 1990), 132.

  66 Women, in a recent study: Cited in Mark Tyrrell, “Fortune Favours the Brave (and So Does Dating),” Uncommon Knowledge, www.uncommon-knowledge.co.uk/dating.html (accessed March 17, 2011).

  67 Men, too, have special terrors: For more on this, see Wolfgang Lederer, The Fear of Women (New York: Grune and Stratton, 1968); and Karen Horney, “The Dread of Women,” in Harold Kelman, ed., Feminine Psychology (New York: W. W. Norton, 1967), 133–146.

  67 As the Romans said: Ovid, Art of Love, 124.

  67 Another explanation is more erotic: Social anthropologist Fernando Henriques claims that one of the purposes of male contests for brides was to arouse women. See his Love in Action: The Sociology of Sex (New York: E. P. Dutton, 1960), 156–163.

  67 Sumerian “Fearless One”: Quoted in Diane Wolkstein, “Inanna and Dumuzi,” in The First Love Stories: From Isis and Osiris to Tristan and Iseult (New York: HarperPerennial/HarperCollins, 1991), 52; and “Dumuzi (Tammuz): Lord of Love and Fertility, the Divine Bridegroom,” www.gatewaystobabylon.com/gods/lords/lordumuzi.htm (accessed 3/27/2009).

  67 “How bold this bacchant”: Euripides, “The Bacchae,” in The Bacchae and Other Plays, trans. Philip Vellacott (New York: Penguin, 1954), 207.

  68 “I am not afraid”: Giacomo Casanova, History of My Life, trans. Willard R. Trask (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1997), vol. 2, chap. 2, p. 33.

  68 “The same energy”: Quoted in “Juan Belmonte,” in Irving Wallace et al., The Intimate Sex Lives of Famous People (New York: Delacorte Press, 1981), 524.

  69 paladin in full-tilt revolt: Frank McLynn, Robert Louis Stevenson: A Biography (New York: Random House, 1993), 94.

  69 Despite poverty, “tatterdemalion”: Ibid., 97, 101.

  69 “Keep your fears”: Robert Louis Stevenson, source unknown, quoted in “Quotations Book,” http://quotationsbook.com/quote/14862 (accessed May 14, 2012).

  69 We are “unhorsed”: Robert Louis Stevenson, “On Falling in Love,” in Isidor Schneider, ed., The World of Love (New York: George Braziller, 1964), vol. 2, 261.

  69 “sly Hermes”: Quoted in McLynn, Robert Louis Stevenson, 27.

  70 “Love,” wrote Stendhal: Stendhal, Love, trans. Gilvert and Suzanne Sale (Harmondswood, UK: Penguin, 1957), 139.

  70 “Eroticism is primarily”: Georges Bataille, Eroticism: Death and Sensuality, trans. Mary Dalwood (San Francisco: City Lights Books, 1986), 31.

  71 The loved one: David Holbrook, Sex and Dehumanization in Art, Thought and Life in Our Time (New York: Pittman, 1972), 31.

  71 Positive Psychology Center: See Christopher Peterson, A Primer in Positive Psychology (New York: Oxford University Press, 2006), 145; and T. Byram Karasu, The Spirit of Happiness: Discovering God’s Purpose in Your Life (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2006), passim.

  71 Neumann thinks: Erich Neumann, The Great Mother: An Analysis of the Archetype (Bollingen Series vol. 47), trans. Ralph Manheim (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1963), 97.

  72 they don’t get more lovable: Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan, Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels (New York: Fireside Books/Simon & Schuster, 2009), 70.

  72 “For the Love of God”: See “For the Love of God,” All About Romance, www.likesbooks.com/religion.html (accessed March 21, 2011).

  72 “destiny of mankind”: Quoted in Ernest Newman, The Man Liszt (New York: Scribner’s, 1935), 32.

  72 “masterpiece of God”: Quoted in ibid., 161.

  72 “uncomely” loner: Quoted in Spencer Klaw, Without Sin: The Life and Death of the Oneida Community (New York: Penguin, 1993), 12.

  73 “extraordinarily attractive to women”: Quoted in ibid., 12.

  73 “eager to sleep with him”: Wallace et al., Intimate Sex Lives of Famous People, 553.

  73 “claiming spirit”: Klaw, Without Sin, 12.

  73 “idolatrous attachment”: Ibid., 11.

  73 “Anybod
y,” he explained: Quoted in ibid., 11.

  73 “exemplary lover”: Ibid., 11.

  74 “shone like an angel’s”: Quoted in ibid., 36.

  74 “The desire to know”: Cathleen Schine, Rameau’s Niece (New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1993), 132.

  74 Studies show women: See Ewen Callaway, “Nerds Rejoice: Braininess Boosts Likelihood of Sex,” New Scientist, October 3, 2008.

  74 fourth-century sex manual: The Complete Kāma Sūtra, trans. Alain Daniélou (Rochester VT: Park Street Press, 1994), 45.

  75 “distinction of mind”: Ovid, Art of Love, 133.

  75 easy to see the parallels: Martha Nussbaum, “The Speech of Alcibiades: A Reading of Plato’s Symposium,” in Robert C. Solomon and Kathleen M. Higgins, eds., The Philosophy of (Erotic) Love (Lawrence: University Press of Kansas, 1991), 302.

  75 “reached inside women’s”: Miller, Mating Mind, 237.

  75 Dionysus brought civilization: Brown, Hermes the Thief, 23.

  75 Irish folk hero and sex god: Norma Lorre Goodrich, “Chuchulain,” in Medieval Myths (New York: Meridian Books, 1966), 183.

  75 intellectuals haven’t fared well: For a list of movies and novels that portray professors, especially, in this light, see William Deresiewicz, “Love on Campus,” American Scholar, June 1, 2007.

  76 Intellectuals proliferate: In Jane A. Radway’s study, “intelligence” is ranked as the most important quality in a hero, see Reading the Romance: Women, Patriarchy, and Popular Literature (Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press, 1984), 82. For professors as an archetype, see Tami Cowden, “We Need a Hero: A Look at Eight Hero Archetypes,” All About Romance, May 14, 1999, www.likesbooks.com/eight.html.

  76 “He made her think”: Nora Roberts, Vision in White (New York: Berkley Books/Penguin, 2009), 116.

  76 “buns or dick size”: Norman Rush, Mortals (New York: Vintage, 2004), 213.

  76 “Mad Hatter’s”: Quoted in Caroline Moorehead, Bertrand Russell: A Life (New York: Viking, 1992), 303.

  76 “several enjoyable evenings”: Ibid., 388.

  76 “In spite of myself”: Quoted in Miranda Seymour, Ottoline Morrell: Life on the Grand Scale (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1992), 109.

  76 “one genius in the family”: Quoted in Sybille Bedford, Aldous Huxley: A Biography (Chicago: Ivan R. Dee, 1973), 74.

  77 “he made”: Quoted in ibid., 43.

  77 “threw open a whole world”: Quoted in ibid., 40.

  78 “gigantic grasshopper”: Quoted in Nicholas Murray, Aldous Huxley: A Biography (New York: Thomas Dunne, 2002), 5.

  78 “he was ribald”: Quoted in Bedford, Aldous Huxley, 74.

  78 “Intelligence”: Quoted in ibid., 627.

  78 “Loving well requires”: Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships (New York: Bantam Books, 2006), 190.

  78 “one of the best”: Quoted in Nick Paumgarten, “The Tycoon: The Making of Mort Zuckerman,” New Yorker, July 23, 2007, 46.

  78 “fun to be around”: Ibid., 45.

  78 “sheepskin jacket”: Quoted in ibid., 55.

  78 “gift of intimacy”: Quoted in ibid., 55.

  78 “the master of love magic”: Brown, Hermes the Thief, 15, 35.

  79 social dexterity is now regarded: For a summary, see John F. Kihlstrom and Nancy Cantor, “Social Intelligence,” socrates.berkeley.edu/~kihlstrm/social_intelligence.htm (accessed March 24, 2011). Also see Daniel Goleman’s books: Social Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (New York: Bantam Books, 1994).

  79 None of which is new: See NPR interview with Daniel Goleman, “Is Social Intelligence More Useful Than IQ?” Neal Conan, host, Talk of the Nation, October 23, 2006, www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyid=6368484.

  79 Two millennia ago: See Ovid, Art of Love, 135, 134, 128.

  79 Every amorous guide: See especially Complete Kāma Sūtra, 319; and Andrea Hopkins, The Book of Courtly Love: The Passionate Code of the Troubadours (New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 1994), 43.

  79 Miller thinks: See Miller, Mating Mind, chap. 9, 292–340.

  79 Whether through talent: Finstad, Warren Beatty, 38.

  79 “fine divination”: Havelock Ellis, “Art of Love,” in Studies in the Psychology of Sex (New York: Random House, 1936), vol. 2, 544.

  79 “tacto”: José Ortega y Gasset, On Love: Aspects of a Single Theme, trans. Toby Talbot (New York: New American Library, 1957), 110.

  80 Dionysus soothes: Ovid, Art of Love, 122.

  80 “I think he’s just really”: Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me (New York: St. Martin’s Paperbacks, 2004), 168.

  80 Czech lothario Tomas: Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, trans. Michael Henry Heim (New York: Perennial Classics/HarperCollins, 1984), 20.

  80 Inconstant as he was: “David Niven,” Answers, www.answers.com/topic/david-niven?print=true (accessed October 31, 2008).

  80 obscure soldier: “Sir Walter Raleigh (1552–1618),” Luminarium: Anthology of English Literature, www.luminarium.org/renlit/raleghbio.htm (accessed October 31, 2008).

  80 He gave her: Robert Lacey, Sir Walter Ralegh (London: Phoenix Press, 1973), 43.

  81 Prince Clemens von Metternich: Raoul Auernheimer, Prince Metternich: Statesman and Lover, trans. James A. Galston (Binghamton, NY: Alliance Books, 1940), 214.

  81 “Adonis of the Drawing Room”: Quoted in ibid., 214.

  81 “He is pleasing”: Quoted in ibid., 19.

  81 While still at university: Margaret Nicholas, ed., “Metternich,” in The World’s Greatest Lovers (London: Octopus Books, 1985), 50.

  81 “made every woman”: Ibid., 50.

  81 “cared for all”: Ibid., 52.

  81 “beautiful naked angel”: Ibid., 50.

  82 “extremely handsome”: Auernheimer, Prince Metternich, 25.

  82 “homme à femmes”: Desmond Seward, Metternich: The First European (New York: Viking, 1991), 140.

  82 dominant figure: “Modern History Sourcebook: Prince Klemens von Metternich: Political Confession of Faith, 1820,” Fordham University, www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/1820metternich.html (accessed February 7, 2009).

  82 “Politics and love”: Auernheimer, Prince Metternich, 224.

  82 “Pleasure considered”: Honoré de Balzac, The Physiology of Marriage: Petty Troubles of Married Life, ed. J. Walker McSpadden (Philadelphia: Avil, 1901), 62.

  82 “I would like to invite you”: Vicky Cristina Barcelona, direc. Woody Allen, Weinstein Company, 2008.

  83 To evolutionary diehards: “spandrels” is a term coined by Stephen Jay Gould and Richard Lewontin. See Paul Bloom, How Pleasure Works: The New Science of Why We Like What We Like (New York: W. W. Norton, 2010), xiii.

  83 “having your pleasure center”: Michael R. Liebowitz, The Chemistry of Love (Boston: Little, Brown, 1983), 69.

  83 “Love is pleasure”: Frankie Goes to Hollywood, “The Power of Love,” www.elyrics.net/read/f/frankie-goes-to-hollywood-lyrics/the-power-of-love-lyrics.html (accessed May 14, 2012).

  83 default position: See Miller, Mating Mind, 148–176. “Hot choosers,” explains Miller, is the chooser in the mating game who can afford to pick on the basis of pleasure. See ibid., p. 149.

  83 school of neo-Freudians: The 1960s neo-Marxists Herbert Marcuse and Norman O. Brown argued for a nonrepressive civilization that reinstated the erotic principles of joy, play, pleasure, and satisfaction within the reality principle. See especially Eros and Civilization: A Philosophical Inquiry into Freud (Boston: Beacon, 1955); and Norman O. Brown, Life against Death: The Psychoanalytical Meaning of History (Middletown, CT: Wesleyan University Press, 1959).

  83 “the delight of mortals”: Walter F. Otto, Dionysus: Myth and Cult, trans. Robert B. Palmer (Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1965), 55.

  83 “everything that had been”: Ibid., 95.

  83 “Pleasure” was “the image”: Alain Daniélou, Shiva and Dionysus, trans. K. F. Hurry (New York: Inner Traditions Internationa
l, 1984), 57.

  84 sex researcher Marta Meana: Cited in Daniel Bergner, “What Do Women Want,” New York Times Magazine, January 25, 2009.

  84 Perhaps this stems: For anxieties, see Cindy M. Weston and David Buss, Why Women Have Sex: Understanding Sexual Motivations—From Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between) (New York: Times Books/Henry Holt, 2009), 45; Helen Fisher, The First Sex: The Natural Talents of Women and How They Are Changing the World (New York: Ballantine Books, 1999), 85–91; and Natalie Angier, Woman: An Intimate Geography (New York: Anchor Books, 1999), 756–780, 346–351.

  84 “adorably beautiful”: See Eloisa James, Pleasure for Pleasure (New York: Avon Books, 2006), 43, 286–302.

  84 Mary Gordon’s novel: See Mary Gordon, Spending: A Utopian Divertimento (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1998).

  84 Kāma Sūtra: Complete Kāma Sūtra, 65.

  84 “endeavor to please”: Ovid, Art of Love, 123.

  84 mindset is what counts: Balzac, Physiology of Marriage, 68.

  84 “pleasure, pleasure, pleasure”: Casanova, History of My Life, vol. 4, chap. 2, p. 34.

  85 “What’s wrong”: Quoted in Shawn Levy, The Last Playboy: The High Life of Porfirio Rubirosa (New York: HarperCollins, 2005), 304.

  85 “head and shoulders”: William Grimes, “A Jet-Set Don Juan, Right Up to the Final Exit,” New York Times, September 16, 2005.

  85 “the most magnificent penis”: Quoted in Levy, Last Playboy, 126.

  85 “We were like”: Quoted in ibid., 178.

  85 “I am”: Quoted in ibid., 19.

  85 “Merry Monarch”: Tim Harris, Restoration: Charles II and His Kingdoms (New York: Penguin, 2005), 46.

  85 “charm[ing] all”: Stephen Coote, Royal Survivor: A Life of Charles II (London: Sceptre, 1999), 46.

  86 “the love of her life”: “ ‘The French Mistress’: The Interview,” The Word Wenches, http://wordwenches.typepad.com/word_wenches/2009/07/fre.html (accessed May 14, 2012).

  86 Studies show that Americans: See John Tierney, “Carpe Diem? Maybe Tomorrow,” New York Times, December 29, 2009; and Lauren Sandler, “The American Nightmare,” Psychology Today, March/April 2011.

  86 “I give women pleasure”: Don Juan DeMarco, direc. Jeremy Leven, New Line Cinema, American Zoetrope, and Outlaw Productions, 1995.