86 “I am large:” Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself,” in Leaves of Grass (Boston: Small, Maynard, 1904), sect. 51, 78.
86 “never wrong about such matters”: Steven Millhauser, “An Adventure of Don Juan,” in The King in the Tree (New York: Vintage Books, 2003), 79.
86 “man of many projects”: Ibid., 69.
87 “The lover”: Jean-Paul Sartre, Being and Nothingness, trans. Hazel E. Barnes (New York: Washington Square Press, 1966), 484, 485.
87 Actualized individuals: See W. Keith Campbell, Craig A. Foster, and Eli Finkle, “Does Self-Love Lead to Love for Others? A Story of Narcissistic Game Playing,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 83, no. 2 (2002), 343. These researchers note that “high self-esteem individuals [more actualized people] experience love more passionately than do individuals with low self-esteem.”
87 souls that are “overfull”: This is a paraphrase of Nietzsche from “Thus Spake Zarathustra”: “I love him whose soul is . . . overfull,” in The Portable Nietzsche, trans. Walter Kaufmann (New York: Penguin Books, 1968), 128.
87 women in surveys express a preference: See John Marshall Townsend, What Women Want—What Men Want: Why the Sexes Still See Love and Commitment So Differently (New York: Oxford University Press, 1998), 150.
87 “authentically powerful”: Ethel S. Person, Feeling Strong: The Achievement of Authentic Power (New York: William Morrow/HarperCollins, 2002), xvii.
87 “He has five”: Quoted in Maureen Dowd, “The Carla Effect,” New York Times, June 22, 2008.
87 Ancestral women: Miller, Mating Mind, 211, 213. He explains this cerebral lure via an ornamental mind theory; see p. 153.
88 Dionysus was the lord: Otto, Dionysus, 49; and Carl Kerenyi, Dionysus: Archetypal Image of Indestructible Life (Bollingen Series vol. 65), trans. Ralph Manheim (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 176), xxxiv.
88 Grace, a poor girl: Alice Munro, “Passion,” in Runaway (New York: Vintage Books/Random House, 2004), 174, 168.
88 “There were so many layers”: Jennifer Crusie, The Cinderella Deal (New York: Bantam Books, 2010), 208.
88 Known as the “siren”: Georgina Masson, Courtesans of the Italian Renaissance (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1975), 62.
89 “comparable to a gem”: Carl Jung, Aspects of the Feminine (Bollingen Series vol. 20), trans. R. F. C. Hull (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1983), 47.
89 Vibrant and brilliant: Walter Isaacson, Benjamin Franklin: An American Life (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2003), 2.
89 Franklin was: Claude-Anne Lopez, “Why He Was a Babe-Magnet,” Time, July 7, 2003, 64. Also see Isaacson, Benjamin Franklin, on the subject of his “sexual appetite” and womanizing, 72, 68–72.
90 “gaiety” and “gallantry”: Quoted in Isaacson, Benjamin Franklin, 362.
90 “capture her and keep her”: Quoted in Carl Van Doren, Benjamin Franklin (New York: Viking, 1938), 651.
90 “very bad”: Quoted in Sydney George Fisher, The True Benjamin Franklin (Philadelphia: Lippincott, 1899), 329.
90 “disgusted”: Quoted in ibid., 329.
91 “Character is power”: Booker T. Washington, from “Quotes on Character from Various Sources,” Character Above All, PBS, www.pbs.org/newshour/character/quotes/ (accessed February 2, 2012).
91 His “character”: Casanova, History of My Life, vol. 1, preface, 31, 32.
91 He freely admits: Ibid., vol. 9, chap. 4, p. 86, and vol. 1, preface, 30.
91 With his acute insight: Judith Summers, Casanova’s Women: The Great Seducer and the Women He Loved (New York: Bloomsbury, 2006), 2.
91 “sweet and affable”: Quoted in Vincent Cronin, Catherine: Empress of All the Russias (New York: William Morrow, 1978), 197.
91 “If you want”: Ovid, Art of Love, 133.
92 “You must not”: Quoted in Morton M. Hunt, The Natural History of Love (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1959), 32.
92 “The man”: Ellis, “Art of Love,” 530–531.
92 “violence of the soul”: Solomon, About Love, 23.
93 “hot choosers”: Miller, Mating Mind, 149.
93 “Seduction is destiny”: Jean Baudrillard, Seduction, trans. Brian Singer (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1990), 180.
CHAPTER 3: LASSOING LOVE: THE SENSES
97 “Love is the poetry”: Honoré de Balzac, The Physiology of Marriage: Petty Troubles of Married Life, ed. J. Walker McSpadden (Philadelphia: Avil, 1901), 61.
98 “the physical part”: Quoted in Morton H. Hunt, The Natural History of Love (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1959), 256. The entire quote is from the comte de Buffon: “There is nothing good in love but the physical part.”
99 “Appearances belong to”: Jean Baudrillard, Seduction, trans. Brian Singer (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1990), 10.
99 They voted him: See Esquire poll of 10,000 women; in “The Esquire Survey of the American Woman,” Esquire, May 2010, 77; and a poll that canvassed three dating websites: Date.com, Matchmaker.com, and Amor.com in 2009. See http://entertainmentrundown.com/8573/top-celebrities-people-would-have-sex-with-if-they-had-a-pass (accessed April 19, 2011).
99 Raves a fan: www.youtube.com/user/laudepp/26x-1/15/10.
99 “mysterious—always”: Quoted in Brian J. Robb, Johnny Depp: A Modern Rebel (London: Plexus, 2006), 196.
99 One costar, Missi Pyle: Quoted in “Johnny Depp, Sexiest Man Alive,” People, November 30, 2009, 80. Missi Pyle was his costar in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Leelee Sobieski, in the John Dillinger biopic Public Enemies.
99 “He was a”: Chuck Berry, “Brown Eyed Handsome Man,” Chess Records, 1956.
99 “disproportioned”: Quoted in Simon Sebag Montefiore, Potemkin: Catherine the Great’s Imperial Partner (New York: Vintage Books/Random House, 2000), 110.
100 Contrary to myth: See Jim Dryden’s research at Washington University Medical School: “Erotic Images Elicit Strong Response from the Brain,” Newsroom, Washington University in St. Louis, June 8, 2006, http://mednews.wustl.edu/tips/page/normal/7319.html.
100 Their vision is: Helen Fisher, The First Sex: The Natural Talents of Women and How They Are Changing the World (New York: Ballantine, 1999), 90. For the eye and cervix dilation study, see Diane Ackerman, A Natural History of the Senses (New York: Vintage/Random House, 1990), 271.
100 Hooked up to a lie detector: See study in Judy Dutton, Secrets from the Sex Lab (New York: Broadway Books, 2009), 35.
100 Handsome has curb: See ibid., 41, 34–35.
100 hero, instructs: Leslie Wainger, Writing a Romance Novel for Dummies (Hoboken, NJ: Wiley, 2004), 65; and Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan, Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels (New York: Fireside Books/Simon & Schuster, 2009), 83. They itemize the requirements of male beauty, 83–95.
100 “Women do look”: Nancy Friday, My Secret Garden (New York: Pocket Books, 1973), 214.
100 “The greatest provocations”: Robert Burton, The Anatomy of Melancholy, ed. Floyd Dell and Paul Jordan-Smith (New York: Tudor, 1927), 687.
100 If you take a non-looker: For two costume experiment studies, see John Marshall Townsend, What Women Want—What Men Want: Why the Sexes Still See Love and Commitment So Differently (New York: Oxford University Press, 1998) 63 and 71.
100 Aware of women’s: Women in one study rated how someone smells as the most important of the senses. Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss, Why Women Have Sex: Women Reveal the Truth about Their Sex Lives, from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between) (New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2009), 5, 5–9.
101 Our Stone Age ancestors: Francois Boucher, 20,000 Years of Fashion (New York: Harry N. Abrams, 1987), 22.
101 In most cultures: Geoffrey Miller, The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature (New York: Doubleday, 2000), 271.
101 She bathes him: The Odyssey of Homer, trans. E. V. Rieu (New York: Penguin, 1946), book 23, 345.
102 Decked in suits: Cliffe Howe, Lovers and Libe
rtines (New York: Ace Books, 1958), 75.
102 His auburn curls: Benita Eisler, Byron: Child of Passion, Fool of Fame (New York: Vintage/Random House, 1999), 156.
102 “wild originality”: Claire Clairmont quoted in John Clubbe, Byron, Sully, and the Power of Portraiture (Burlington, VT: Ashgate, 2005), 33.
102 plain-featured man: Julius Caesar was “slightly built and pale” with a face that was “too full.” Adrian Goldsworth, Caesar: Life of a Colossus (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2006), 61, 62.
102 “Romans, lock your wives”: Quoted in Gaius Suetonius Tranquillus, The Twelve Caesars, trans. Robert Graves (Harmondsworth, UK: Penguin, 1960), 31.
103 During her four years: For the extent of Cleopatra’s influence, see historian Michael Grant, Cleopatra (New York: Barnes and Noble, 1972), 88–91.
103 “rock cool threads”: Paul Janka, Pick Up Artist guru, television celebrity and author of Attraction Formula, email, “Affects of a ‘Rock Star Look,’ ” April 29, 2009, http://webmail.aol.com/42679/aol/en-us/mail/PrintMessage.aspx.
103 New York Times clothing maven: “On the Street,” “Dash,” Sunday Styles, New York Times, February 2, 2010.
103 “flood of memories”: Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook (New York: Warner Books, 1996), 33.
104 “amorous space”: Roland Barthes, A Lover’s Discourse: Fragments, trans. Richard Howard (New York: Hill and Wang/Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1978), 92.
104 “Passion”: Jeff Turrentine, “The Pull of Place,” review of Martha McPhee, L’America, New York Times Book Review, June 4, 2008, 8. The venues described refer to Herbert Beerbohm Tree’s office, Casanova’s assignation with Lucrezia on a stone bench in a garden maze, and Bob Evans’s party mansion in Hollywood, quoted in Edward Douglas, Jack: The Great Seducer (New York: HarperEntertainment/HarperCollins, 2004), 248.
104 Passionate love sweeps: A location can work psychoactive effects on the brain and move us at unimaginable depths. See especially Gaston Bachelard, The Poetics of Space, trans. Maria Jolas (Boston: Beacon Press, 1964), 6.
104 “domestic bliss” strategy: Richard Dawkins, The Selfish Gene (New York: Oxford University Press, 1989), 153.
104 they also looked for beauty: Miller, Mating Mind, 271.
104 embellishment of place: See Andrew Trees, Decoding Love (New York: Avery/Penguin, 2009), 10. Studies have shown how the spell of place can actually halo someone with sex appeal, 12.
104 Watson tells of a patient: Cynthia Mervis Watson, Love Potions: A Guide to Aphrodisiacs and Sexual Pleasures (New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Perigee, 1993), 19.
105 In 4000 BC Sumer: Arthur Evans, The God of Ecstasy: Sex Roles and the Madness of Dionysos (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1988), 59.
105 the mythological Adonis and Psyche: Erich Neumann, Amor and Psyche: The Psychic Development of the Feminine: A Commentary of the Tale by Apuleius (Bollingen Series vol. 54), trans. Ralph Manheim (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1956), 9.
105 Eve beds Adam: John Milton, Paradise Lost, ed. Gordon Teskey (New York: W. W. Norton, 2005), book 4, lines 690, 693.
105 Emma Bovary: Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary, ed. Margaret Cohen and trans. Eleanor Marx Aveling and Paul de Man (New York: W. W. Norton, 2005), 208.
105 “Why was it”: Patricia Gaffney, To Love and To Cherish (New York: New American Library, 1995), 215.
105 “born interior decorator”: Philippe Jullian, D’Annunzio, trans. Stephen Hardman (New York: Viking, 1972), 63.
105 “love was nothing”: Gabriele D’Annunzio, The Child of Pleasure, trans. Georgina Harding (Boston: Page, 1898), 193.
105 When asked why: Tom Antongini, D’Annunzio (Boston: Little, Brown, 1938), 71.
105 “excitation transfer”: Dutton, Secrets from the Sex Lab, 46.
106 “from this earth”: Quoted in Jullian, D’Annunzio, 243.
106 “alive and still”: D. H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover and A Propos of “Lady Chatterley’s Lover,” ed. Michael Squires (1928; New York: Penguin 2006), 166.
106 “ever wanted to let him go”: Meryle Secrest, Frank Lloyd Wright: A Biography (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1992), 314.
106 In his pioneering structures: Nancy Horan, Loving Frank (New York: Ballantine Books, 2007) 4.
106 His female clients: Ada Louise Huxtable, Frank Lloyd Wright: A Life (New York: Penguin, 2004), 66.
106 wilderness called Taliesin: Although Taliesin is not an officially recognized avatar, his death and rebirth by water, a classic motif of the fertility god, suggest his affinity with them.
107 “unprepossessing”: Quoted in Secrest, Frank Lloyd Wright, 240.
107 “kissed his feet”: Quoted in Huxley, Frank Lloyd Wright, 143.
107 Wright then married: Roger Friedland and Harold Zellman, The Fellowship: The Untold Story of Frank Lloyd Wright and the Taliesin Fellowship (New York: HarperCollins, 2006), 435.
107 “hideaway” or “blue lagoon”: Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart, “My Romance,” in The Rodgers and Hart Songbook (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1951), 151.
107 “space speaks”: Quoted in David Givens, Love Signals (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2005), 175.
107 “A sweet voice”: Burton, Anatomy of Melancholy, 699.
108 “the most ecstatic”: Robert Jourdain, Music, the Brain, and Ecstasy: How Music Captures Our Imagination (New York: Avon Books, 1997), 328.
108 keener, more refined: For women’s superior sense of hearing, see Fisher, First Sex, 86–87. Louann Brizendine discusses women’s ability to hear a broader range of emotional tones, in The Female Brain (New York: Broadway Books, 2006), 17.
108 In studies they rank: Cited in Givens, Love Signals, 175.
108 “the food of love”: William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night or What You Will, ed. Charles T. Prouty (Baltimore: Penguin, 1958), act 1, scene 1.
108 “It’s a matter of experience”: The Complete Kāma Sūtra, trans. Alain Daniélou (Rochester, VT: Park Street Press, 1994), 11.
108 men must prepare themselves: Ibid., 48.
108 One medieval caliph: Wendy Buonaventura, Serpent of the Nile: Women and Dance in the Arab World (New York: Interlink Books, 1994), 183.
109 “rattle”: Jourdain, Music, the Brain, and Ecstasy, xii.
109 “almost defenseless”: Oliver Sacks, Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain (New York: Vintage Books, 2007), 52.
109 One explanation: See Daniel J. Levitin, This Is Your Brain on Music (New York: Plume, 2006), 85–87, 248–249.
109 Darwin proposed: For Darwin’s explanation, see ibid., 251.
109 Very likely, Pleistocene: Miller, Mating Mind, 276.
109 Music’s erotic force: For the sacred origin of music, see Jourdain, Music, the Brain, and Ecstasy, 305, 307; and Geoffrey Miller, “Evolution of Human Music through Sexual Selection,” in Nils L. Wallin, Björn Merker, and Steven Brown, eds., The Origins of Music (Cambridge, MA: MIT Press, 2000), 353.
109 opera’s “diabolic” force: Doris Lessing, Love, Again (New York: HarperPerennial, 1997), 241.
109 Music can be just as ecstatic: See Joann Ellison Rodgers, Sex: A Natural History (New York: Times Books/Henry Holt, 2001), 245–247; and Ackerman, Natural History of the Senses, 179.
110 When Warren Beatty: See Suzanne Finstad, Warren Beatty: A Private Man (New York: Three Rivers Press, 2005), 209.
110 “Trembling like poor little larks”: Quoted in Nigel Cawthorne, Sex Lives of the Great Composers (London: Prion, 2004), 93.
110 “perfectly crazy”: Pianist Amy Fay quoted in ibid., 97.
111 toast of the music world: Kate Botting and Douglas Botting, Sex Appeal: The Art and Science of Sexual Attraction (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1996), 110.
111 electrified: She “felt the electricity going through [her] from head to toe.” See Abram Chasins, Leopold Stokowski: A Profile (New York: Hawthorne Books, 1979), 255.
111 “glamorous to the end”: Ibid., xiii.
111 “I am undone”: Quoted
in Burton, Anatomy of Melancholy, 699.
112 Maggie Tulliver: George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss, ed. Gordon S. Haight (1860; Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1961), 365, 335.
112 “broads swarmed over him”: Anthony Summers and Robbyn Swan, Sinatra: The Life (New York: Vintage Books, 2005), 52.
112 “wasn’t the best singer”: Kitty Kelley, His Way: The Unauthorized Biography of Frank Sinatra (New York: Bantam Books, 1986), 37.
112 “dick in [his] voice”: John Lahr, Sinatra: The Artist and the Man (New York: Phoenix Paperback/Random House, 1997), 16.
112 “like a girl”: Quoted in Summers and Swan, Sinatra, 33.
112 To seduce a woman: Ibid., 122.
112 “Oh god, it was magic”: Quoted in Lahr, Sinatra, 38.
112 “Sing”: Ovid, The Art of Love, trans. Rolfe Humphries (Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1957), 123.
112 “Love”: Burton, Anatomy of Melancholy, 757.
113 “You got to”: Daddy DJ, “Let Your Body Talk,” Radikal Records, 2003.
113 “Bodily movements may”: Theodoor Hendrik van de Velde, Ideal Marriage: Its Physiology and Technique, trans. Stella Browne (New York: Random House, 1930), 39.
113 “Besides spoken language”: Complete Kāma Sūtra, 114.
113 As well they should be: See Fisher, First Sex, xvii, 91–93; and Brizendine, Female Brain, 120–123. For more on the impact of nonverbal communication, see David B. Givens’s classic “The Nonverbal Basis of Attraction: Flirtation, Courtship, and Seduction,” Psychiatry 41 (November 1978), 346–359.
114 “You can say a lot”: Ovid, Art of Love, 120.
114 In the first three: Martin Lloyd-Elliott, Secrets of Sexual Body Language (Berkeley, CA: Ulysses Press, 2005), 70. See Michael R. Cunningham et al., “What Do Women Want? Facial Metric Assessment of Multiple Motives in the Perception of Male Facial Physical Attractiveness,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 59, no. 1 (July 1990), 61–72.
114 Women like features: See Lloyd-Elliott, Secrets of Sexual Body Language, 10.
114 Eyes are heavy artillery: Baudrillard, Seduction, 77.
114 Ancient cultures: See Hans Licht, Sexual Life in Ancient Greece, trans. J. H. Freese (London: Abbey Library, 1932), 309.
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