241 “Just leave it alone”: Roland Barthes, A Lover’s Discourse: Fragments, trans. Richard Howard (New York: Hill and Wang/Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1978), 137.
241 Batten explains: Mary Batten, Sexual Strategies: How Females Choose Their Mates (New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam’s, 1992), 97; and Miller, Mating Mind, 39–45.
241 “When women start”: Quoted in William F. Allman, “The Mating Game,” U.S. News and World Report, July 19, 1993.
242 “deliver the greatest rapture”: Miller, Mating Mind, 156.
242 “almost indecent magnetism”: Quoted in Paul Chutcow, Depardieu: A Biography (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1994), 251.
243 “joie de vivre”: Quoted in ibid., 187.
243 “Gérard knows”: Quoted in ibid., 87.
243 “lovable”: Quoted in Glenn Collins, “The Mystery of Depardieu: A Gentle Heart in a Boxer’s Body,” New York Times, June 4, 1990.
243 Although so timid: Chutcow, Depardieu, 107.
244 Under an inspired teacher: Ibid., 130.
244 “whole new language”: Ibid., 148.
244 “guided him”: Ibid., 173.
244 “I always turned”: Quoted in ibid., 173.
244 “He was all there”: Quoted in ibid., 266.
244 “Eros the masterpiece”: Quoted in Roy Porter, “Libertinism and Promiscuity,” in Jonathan Miller, ed., Don Giovanni: Myths of Seduction and Betrayal (New York: Shocken Books, 1990), 8.
245 “The power to charm”: Charles Darwin, The Descent of Man, ed. Michael T. Ghiselin (1871; New York: Dover, 2010), 172.
245 “the interesting man”: Ortega y Gasset, On Love, 167–190.
245 “Don Juan to his wife”: Van de Velde, Ideal Marriage, 10.
245 “the adulterer’s art”: Havelock Ellis, Studies in the Psychology of Sex (New York: Random House, 1936), vol. 2, 547.
246 “the culmination of life”: Ortega y Gasset, On Love, 142.
246 “the supreme thing”: Quoted in Havelock Ellis, “The Valuation of Sexual Love,” in Studies in the Psychology of Sex, vol. 2, 141.
246 “sing with rapture”: Meet Joe Black, direc. Martin Brest, City Light Films, Universal Pictures, 1998.
246 “Expect the lightning”: Ibid.
246 “The seductive”: Georges Bataille, Eroticism: Death and Sensuality, trans. Mary Dalwood (San Francisco: City Lights Books, 1986), 236.
246 “If you know”: What Women Want, direc. Nancy Meyers, Paramount Pictures, 2000.
Text Credits
Extract from the song of Peire de Valeira, in A Handbook of the Troubadours, ed. F. R. P. Akehurst and Judith M. Davis. © 1995 by the Regents of the University of California. Reprinted by permission of the University of California Press.
Extract from The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir, translated by Constance Borde and Sheila Malovany-Chevallier, translation copyright © 2009 by Constance Borde and Sheila Malovany-Chevallier. Used by permission of Alfred A. Knopf, a division of Random House, Inc.
Extract from “Brown Eyed Handsome Man.” Words and Music by Chuck Berry. Copyright © 1956 (Renewed) by Arc Music Corp. (BMI) Arc Music Corp. Administered by BMG Rights Management (US) LLC for the world excluding Japan and Southeast Asia. International Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved. Reprinted by Permission of Hal Leonard Corporation.
Extract from “In Da Club.” Words and Music by Curtis Jackson, Andre Young and Michael Elizondo. Copyright © 2003 Universal Music Corp., 50 Cent Music, Bug Music-Music of Windswept, Blotter Music, Elvis Mambo Music, WB Music Corp. and Ain’t Nothin’ but Funkin’ Music. All rights for 50 Cent Music Controlled and administered by Universal Music Corp. All rights for Bug Music-Music of Windswept, Blotter Music and Elvis Mambo Music administered by BMG Rights Management (US) LLC. All rights for Ain’t Nothin’ but Funkin’ Music controlled and administered by WB Music Corp. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission. Reprinted by Permission of Hal Leonard Corporation.
Extract from “Just What the Love Dr. Ordered: Best Relationship Books” by Veronica Harley. April 15, 2010.
Extract from “The Quadrille of Gender, Casanova’s ‘Memoirs’ ” by Gail S. Reed, in The Psychoanalytic Quarterly 61, 1992, page 102.
Extract from “From Champion Majorette to Frank Sinatra Date,” Vancouver Sun, Aug. 31, 1970. Jurgen Hesse/Vancouver Sun.
Extract from “The Art of Loving” © the Estate of André Maurois 1940.
Extract from The Complete Kāma Sūtra: The First Unabridged Modern Translation of the Classic Indian Text, trans. A. Danielou, Rochester: Park Street Press/InnerTraditions, 1993. First printing, page 111.
Extract from “The Evolution of Homosexuality: Gender Bending: Genes that make some people gay make their brothers and sisters fecund,” The Economist Newspaper Ltd (Oct. 25, 2008).
Extract from “Sexual Success and the Schizoid Factor,” Rusty Rockets, Science a GoGo, April 26, 2006.
Extract from “The Flaw That Punctuates Perfection” by Hillary Johnson, Los Angeles Times, Nov. 30, 2011.
Extract from The Art of Courtly Love, by Andreas Capellanus, trans. John Jay Parry. Copyright © 1960 Columbia University Press. Reprinted with permission of the publisher.
Extract from The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature by Geoffrey Miller, copyright © 2000 by Geoffrey Miller. Used by permission of Doubleday, a division of Random House, Inc.
Extract from Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman, copyright © 2006 by Daniel Goleman. Used by permission of Bantam Books, a division of Random House, Inc.
Extract from Iron John: A Book About Men by Robert Bly. Copyright © 1990 by Robert Bly. (Addison-Wesley Publishing Co., Reading, Mass.) Reprinted by permission of Georges Borchardt, Inc., for Robert Bly.
Extract from Eroticism: Death and Sensuality by Georges Bataille, trans. Mary Dalwood. © 1962 by Georges Bataille. Reprinted by permission of City Lights Books.
Excerpt from Rameau’s Niece by Cathleen Schine. Copyright © 1993 by Cathleen Schine. Reprinted by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.
Extract from The Natural History of Love by Morton Hunt, copyright © 1959 by Morton Hunt. Used by permission of Alfred A Knopf, a division of Random House, Inc.
Extract from Seduction by Jean Baudrillard, trans. Brian Singer, 1990, St. Martin’s Press, reproduced with permission of Palgrave Macmillan.
Extract from “Let Your Body Talk” by Daddy DJ. Radikal Records, 2003.
Extract from Love, Power, and Justice (reissue 9/92), by Paul Tillich (1954), (GB 1960).
Extracts from The Art of Love by Ovid, trans. Rolfe Humphries, Copyright © 1957, Indiana University Press. Reprinted with permission of Indiana University Press. Extract from Urban Dictionary Copyright © 2005 by Aaron Peckham.
Extract from The Complete Essays of Montaigne, translated by Donald M. Frame and published by Stanford University Press.
Extract from “Love and Pain,” in Studies in the Psychology of Sex by Havelock Ellis, © 1933, published by Random House, Inc.
Extract from About Love: Reinventing Romance for Our Times by Robert C. Solomon, © 1988, published by Touchstone Books.
Tom the Dancing Bug © 1992 Ruben Bolling. Reprinted with permission of Universal Uclick. All rights reserved.
Extract from The Essential Seducer by A. Karr, ed. Peter Haining. London: Robert Hale Ltd., 1994.
Extract from “Why a Wussy Can’t Attract Women” by David DeAngelo, DoubleYourDating.com, Feb. 28, 2007.
Illustration Credits
Giacomo Casanova (1725–1798) (engraving), Ismael Mengs (1688–1764) (after) Private Collection / Archives Charmet / The Bridgeman Art Library.
Lord Shiva Dancing on Apasmar. Courtesy of Exotic India at www.exoticindiaart.com.
Guido Reni, Bacchus and Ariadne, ca. 1619–1620 (oil on canvas), Gift of the Ahmanson Foundation, Digital Image at Museum Associates / LAMA. Courtesy of Los Angeles Museum of Art.
/> Bust of Alcibiades (ca. 450–404 BCE), Galleria degli Uffizi, Florence, Italy / The Bridgeman Art Library.
Louis François Armand de Vignerot du Plessis (1696–1788), Duke of Richelieu (oil on canvas), Louis M. Tocque (1696–1772) / Musée des Beaux-Arts, Tours, France / Giraudon / The Bridgeman Art Library.
Gabriele D’Annunzio (1863–1938) (b/w photo) / Private Collection / Ken Welsh / The Bridgeman Art Library.
Lord Byron, Thomas Phillips, National Portrait Gallery, London, Great Britain, Photo Snark / Art Resource, NY.
Photo shot on the Hollywood lot of RKO Pictures of Duke Ellington pursued by a group of women. Courtesy of Frank Driggs Collection of Duke Ellington Photographic Reference Prints, Archives Center, National Museum of American History, Smithsonian Institution.
Robert Louis Stevenson (b/w photo), English photographer (nineteenth century)/ Private Collection / Courtesy of Swann Auction Galleries / The Bridgeman Art Library.
Livanos & Rubirosa Slow Dance, photographer Express Newspapers, Hulton Archive, Getty Images.
Photo of Sam Cooke, photographer Michael Ochs, Michael Ochs Archives, Getty Images.
Former President Bill Clinton signing books at Books and Books, photographer Vallery Jean, Getty Images Entertainment, Getty Images.
Clemens Lothar Wenzel, Prince Metternich, 1815 (oil on canvas), Sir Thomas Lawrence (1769–1830) / The Royal Collection © 2011 Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II / The Bridgeman Art Library.
Denis Diderot, 1767, Louis Michel van Loo (1707–1771), Louvre, Paris, France, photographer Erich Lessing/Art Resource, NY.
Aldous Huxley, photographer Edward Gooch, Hulton Archive, Getty Images.
Portrait of Sir Walter Raleigh, 1598 (oil on panel), William Segar (fl. 1585–d. 1633) (attributed to) / National Gallery of Ireland, Dublin, Ireland / The Bridgeman Art Library.
Johann-Baptist I. Lampi, Portrait of Prince Grigory Potyomkim-Tavrichesky (oil on canvas)/ The State Hermitage Museum, St. Petersburg. Photograph © The State Hermitage Museum/photo by Vladimir Terebenin, Leonard Kheifets, Yuri Molodkovets.
Portrait of Franz Liszt, 1811–1886, Hungarian Composer, Musée Carnavalet, Paris, Photo Alfredo Dagli Orti / The Art Archive at Art Resource, NY.
Portrait of François-René, viscount of Chateaubriand (1768–1848), Meditating in the Roman Ruins with a View of the Colosseum, Anne Louis Girodet de Roussy-Trioson, 1811 (oil on canvas), Photo Gérard Blot, Châteaux de Versailles et de Trianon, Versailles, France. Réunion des Musées Nationaux / Art Resource, NY.
Portrait of Carl Gustav Jung (1875–1961) (b/w photo), Swiss School (twentieth century), Archives Larousse, Paris, France / Giraudon / The Bridgeman Art Library.
Roald Dahl, (1916–1990), ca. 1970, photographer Paul Popper / Popperfoto / Contributor, Popperfoto Collection, Popperfoto/Getty Images.
Mick Jagger, 53rd Annual Grammy Awards Show, photographer Kevin Winter/Staff, Getty Images Entertainment, Getty Images.
Warren Beatty on the set of Splendor in the Grass. Courtesy of Wesleyan University Cinema Archives.
Photo of Jack London in a bathing suit. This image is reproduced by permission of The Huntington Library, San Marino, California.
Francoise Dorleac and David Niven, photo Time Life Pictures / Contributor, Time & Life Pictures Collection, Time & Life Pictures/Getty Images.
Photo of Gérard Depardieu, Courtesy of Thomson Reuters.
Index
Abelard, 181–82
About Love (Solomon), 213
Adam’s Rib (movie), 207
Addams, Charles, 210–11
Adonis (myth.), 55, 105
Agnelli, Gianni, 129
Alcibiades, 38–39, 46
alcohol, 131
Allen, Woody, 82
Allende, Isabel, 132
Almodóvar, Pedro, 132
A Lot Like Love (movie), 229
alpha male:
Darwinian theory of, 12–14
genuine, 14–16
qualities of, 12–13, 212
Alsop, Joseph, 150
Amis, Kingsley, 9, 35, 199–200, 228
amphetamines, 144
Anatomy of Melancholy, The (Burton), 101, 107
androgyny, 45–48, 101, 102, 230
anger, 225, 226
Anna Karenina (Tolstoy), 5, 139, 167
Anne (psychoanalyst), 221–23, 228, 230, 231
apathy, 83
Apatow, Judd, 225
Aphrodite (myth.), 70
Apollo (myth.), 70
appearance, 99–103
body beautiful, 99–100
fashion and grooming, 100–103
applause response, 144–45
Ariadne (myth.), 67, 80, 117, 128, 138, 145
Arnim, Elizabeth von, 218–19
Art of Courtly Love, The (Capellanus), 60, 145
“Art of Loving, The” (Maurois), 36
Aspasia, “The Aspasian Path,” 236
Asquith, Lady Cynthia, 189
Athena (myth.), 101
attention, 131–32, 168–70, 231–32
Attwood, Feona, 223
Auden, W. H., “As I Walked Out One Evening,” 187
Bacall, Lauren, 112
Bacchus (myth.), 22
Bader, Michael, 55
Baker, Gail Konop, 229
Balfe, Veronica “Rocky,” 47
Balzac, Honoré de, 84, 233
on conversation, 163, 181
The Memoirs of Two Brides, 37
The Physiology of Marriage, 82, 97, 159
on variety, 202–3
Balzi, Doctor, 130
Banderas, Antonio, 143
Barbach, Lonnie, 204
Bardwell, Hilary, 200
Barthes, Roland, 34, 104, 202
Baryshnikov, Mikhail, 49, 118–19
Basinet, Cynthia, 57
Bataille, Georges, 246
Eroticism: Death and Sensuality, 70
Batten, Mary, 241
Baudrillard, Jean, 175
Seduction, 93, 99
Beatty, Warren, 43–44, 64, 72, 79, 107
and alcohol, 131
and Bening, 142
as listener, 170
and music, 110
smile of, 115
Beaumont, Pauline de, 174
Beauvoir, Simone de, 1, 144
Beckham, David, 103
Before Sunrise (movie), 187
Bellino (castrato), 68, 155
Belmonte, Juan, 68
Bening, Annette, 142
Berenson, Marisa, 78
Bergman, Ingrid, 47
Bergstrom, Carl, 142
Berking, Helmuth, 127
Bird, Christiane, 213
bisexuality, 45–48, 102, 230
Black, Hilary, 132
Blackwood, Caroline, 50
Blessington, Marguerite Gardner, Countess of, 22, 167
Blixen, Karen (Dinesen), 54
Bloch-Bauer, Adele, 206
Bloom, Claire, 188
Blue Valentine (movie), 237
Bly, Robert, 66, 235, 236
body beautiful, 99–100
body language, 113–16, 165–66
Bogart, Humphrey, 53
bonding, 152, 172–73
Book of the Courtier, The (Castiglione), 196
Bordy (Harvard freshman), 107–8
Bouquet, Carole, 242
Bow, Clara, 47
Boyle, T. C., The Inner Circle, 165
Brantley, Ben, 238
Brian (banker), 60–61, 91–92, 115, 168
Bridges of Madison County, The (movie), 52
Brizendine, Louann, 138, 161, 172
Broderick, Matthew, 60
Broglie, princesse de, 149
Broken Embraces (movie), 132
Brontë, Emily, Wuthering Heights, 37, 153
Brown, James, 33
Brown, Ruth, 155
Bruni, Carla, 87
Brzezinski, Mika, 167
Budberg, Moura, 219
Buisson, Céleste, 174
; Burton, Richard, 9, 56, 114, 172, 188, 208
Burton, Robert, 112
The Anatomy of Melancholy, 101, 107
Buss, David, 12, 116, 202, 208, 232, 241–42
Butler, Rhett (fict.), 59, 116
Byatt, A. S., Possession, 173, 187
Byron, George Gordon, Lord, 21–23
androgyny of, 47
and Byronmania, 21
Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage, 136
Don Juan, 116
physical traits of, 22, 56, 114
and poetry, 49, 102, 187
voice of, 167
Caesar, Julius, 102–3, 128, 198
Callow, Simon, 48
Calori, Angiola, 216
Campbell, Barbara, 65
Campbell, Joseph, 186, 240
Camus, Albert, 7, 53, 68
Canterbury Tales (Chaucer):
Friar, 70
Miller, 49, 110
Wife of Bath, 34, 144
Capellanus, Andreas, The Art of Courtly Love, 60, 145
Carlisle, Kitty, 35
Carrington, Dora, 77
Casanova, Giacomo, 5–7, 52–53, 68
analysts’ views of, 8, 9–10
androgyny of, 47
ardor of, 37, 134, 140–41, 155
character of, 64, 91, 164, 216
charitable acts of, 64
comparisons with, 179, 238, 245
and conversation, 182
and fashion, 101–2
food and wine, 131
and gift-giving, 128
and Henriette, 6–7, 85, 122, 182, 216
longevity of, 25–26
music and dance, 110, 118
and novelty, 204
physical traits of, 16
and pleasure, 84–85
sexual skills of, 23, 122, 134, 148
stereotypes of, 6, 7, 11, 16, 26
suicide contemplated by, 9
wit of, 177–78
Castro Monte, Fernandae “The Countess,” 44
Catherine of Braganza, 86
Catherine the Great, 10, 43, 91, 184
Chamfort, Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de, 129
Chance, Megan, An Inconvenient Wife, 150–51
Chaplin, Charlie, 35
character, 60–93
in a new key, 91–92
courage, 66–70
knowledge/intelligence, 74–78
morality/virtue, 61–66
pleasure, 82–86
self-realization, 86–90
social IQ, 78–82
spirituality, 70–74
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