Welcome to the Jungle

by Matt London

  EVIE WATCHED IN DISMAY AS THE SUDSY BUBBLER AND THE BIG WHALE PLAYED TUG-OF-WAR WITH her continent.

  “We have to fight them!” she said.

  Rick grabbed her. “We have to run.”

  “What, why?”

  “RUN!”

  A tornado of pink robo-birds came screeching out of the sky. Evie and the others fled for cover. The Cleanaspot sailors turned their water cannons on the birds, but without more powerful defenses, fighting them was like trying to shoot a swarm of mosquitoes with a squirt gun.

  They ran along the edge of the deck, teetering over the water far below. The birds flew all around them, pecking with their needle-sharp beaks. Evie shielded her face from the birds and shouted orders. “Mom! Have your people hold off the robots as long as they can. Rick! Sprout! Get to one of the acorns and take off. We have to stop Vesuvia!”

  2-Tor squawked. “I say, Miss Evelyn. What shall I do?”

  Evie screamed, “2-Tor, you gotta fly!”

  “My word. What do you mean?”

  “Fly, you bird. Fly!” Evie tackled 2-Tor, hurling both of them off the end of the boat.

  2-Tor flapped his wings as they fell, slowing their descent and eventually gaining height. Evie clung to the bird’s back. They left the Sudsy Bubbler far behind and far below.

  “Get closer!” Evie yelled over the roaring wind, pointing ahead at the looming Big Whale.

  The blimp’s engines were going full reverse, pulling the vine like a dog with a chew toy. Evie squinted. Through the wide front viewport, she could see the determined faces of Vesuvia and Grandma Condolini.

  “Come on, 2-Tor! Full flap ahead!” The flock of birds was right behind them and gaining.

  They neared the viewport. “Miss Evelyn, I beg of you, please reconsider this line of attack. I swear, I would sooner be prohibited from administering quizzes for the rest of my days than proceed with this action.”

  “Relax, 2-Tor, we’ll be fine!”

  “Somehow I doubt that.”

  Behind the viewport, Vesuvia was glaring at Evie and gritting her artificially whitened teeth, but as 2-Tor flapped harder and picked up speed, that determined look morphed into one of incredulous shock. Evie had seen the Piffle Pink Patrol do this to the Roost once. She felt it was only appropriate to return the favor.

  2-Tor and Evie crashed through the viewport. Glass shattered and whipped around the windy bridge, while the pursuing robo-birds flew in after them. The birds pierced the floor, the walls, and the command console. Grandma Condolini howled angrily as one of the birds hit the throttle, locking it at maximum. The engines roared and the blimp groaned.

  Evie let go of 2-Tor and dropped into a somersault. She bounced to her feet and turned to face her enemy.

  Vesuvia struggled to her feet. Her clothes were a mess. She plucked a little bird from her hair and threw it at the ground with a plastic thok! “You . . .” she hissed. “You ruin everything! GET HER!”

  The serving-bots dropped their trays and moved in to attack. 2-Tor flapped his wings. “Shoo! Shoo!”

  Evie made a break for the command console and grabbed the steering wheel. Grandma Condolini swatted at her. “Stop that, you little rodent! Let go!”

  Evie pulled back as hard as she could. The Big Whale veered upward, tipping the bridge back at a steep angle. The serving-bots slid across the floor and slammed into the back wall. Grandma Condolini fell out of her chair. “Aie! My osteoporosis!”

  Vesuvia grabbed Evie and pried her away from the controls. “Give me back my blimp!”

  “Give me back my continent!” Evie said, fighting against the wind as she climbed on top of the command console and hopped out of the shattered viewport. The water was hundreds of feet below. One wrong step and it would be bye-bye Evie, hello pancakes.

  Vesuvia climbed out the viewport after her, clinging to the nose of the Big Whale. “Hold still, Evie. It’s time for you to go on a trip.”

  “I say, leave her alone!” came 2-Tor’s voice. He’d followed Vesuvia out of the viewport, flapping his wings at her.

  At that moment, the acorn escape pod flew by. Rick was piloting. Sprout leaned out the window. “Evie! What should we do?”

  “You should catch her!” Vesuvia yelled, breaking free of 2-Tor and shoving Evie with all her might. Evie grabbed Vesuvia’s arms, but the damage was done. They fell off the front of the Big Whale together.

  Evie landed on the super root and scrambled to get a grip as she nearly slid off the taut tether. She winced, but managed to hold on. Vesuvia hit the root flat on her back.

  “I have had it up to here with you.” Vesuvia struggled to her feet, smoothing her loose bleached hair against her head. “You have ruined my life, Evie Lane. I hate you! And your stupid clothes! And your stupid shoes! And your stupid family! And that stupid bird! I hate you! And now I’m going to send you all to the bottom of the ocean where you belong.”

  “Evie, catch!” The acorn flew by again, and Sprout flung his machete at the root. It landed point down, embedded halfway up the blade.

  As Evie drew the machete out of the root, Vesuvia watched in horror. “No! Don’t do that. Stop!”

  With a hard swipe, Evie cut deep into the root. She hacked at it, making the split deeper and wider.

  “Don’t!” Vesuvia begged.

  Evie struck the root again and again, with each cut shouting, “Vesuvia! I! Like! These! Shoes!”

  The machete sang as it sliced through the root. The Big Whale, now untethered, rocketed into the stratosphere. If they were lucky, the Big Whale would fly all the way to the moon, taking Vesuvia and Grandma Condolini along with it.

  2-Tor dove clear of the blimp just in time. He arrowed toward Evie and nabbed her out of the sky before she hit the water.

  The acorn flew alongside them. “You did it!” Rick cheered.

  Evie waved the machete at them. “We did it!”

  As they flew back to the Cleanaspot fleet, the Sudsy Bubbler pulled the eighth continent over the stain. Just like Evie expected, the spongy continent slurped up the ink with ease. She nodded, content and a little impressed with herself. “That worked pretty well, actually.” Now they just needed to root their continent to the coral reef under the stain, and their new home would have a permanent address.

  They landed back on the deck of the Sudsy Bubbler. Cleanaspot sailors were sweeping up piles of the pink robo-birds and depositing them in recycling containers. As Rick and Evie climbed out of the acorn escape pod, Mom came running over to them.

  “Oh no, not again!” Evie said.

  Mom scooped them up and smooched them like crazy.

  The wet reunion was interrupted by the arrival of a Winterpole hovership, which touched down next to the acorn.

  Evie let out a heavy sigh. Now what?

  The cockpit door opened and Dad stepped into the light.

  Mom squealed and ran to her husband, kissing him all over the face.

  Dad’s eyes went wide with panic. “Wah! Kids! Grab the mop!”

  There were no mops in sight, so instead Rick and Evie ran and hugged their father. Sprout and 2-Tor watched the reunion, smiling (although 2-Tor had a beak and couldn’t really smile).

  Rick adjusted his glasses as he pulled away from the hug. “How did you get here? I thought Winterpole had you.”

  “I was trapped at the Prison at the Pole,” Dad explained. “But this young lady helped me escape.” He pointed to the open cockpit door.

  Diana Maple stepped out.

  “Diana?” Rick sounded as confused as Evie felt. “But you’re . . .”

  “Yeah, I know,” Diana said awkwardly. “But it didn’t feel right to keep your dad locked up. He didn’t do anything wrong! Winterpole has been acting so weird lately.”

  “Lately?” Evie asked. Rick nudged her to hush up.

  Dad smi
led as he pulled Mom close. “Diana doesn’t want to work for Winterpole anymore. And she doesn’t want to work for Condo Corp either.”

  Diana nodded. “They really drive me nuts.”

  “You can stay here with us,” Rick said. “You can help us build our civilization on the eighth continent. And you know how Condo Corp and Winterpole operate. You’d be a valuable asset.”

  “Sheesh, Rick,” Evie elbowed her brother, “she’s a person, not a beach house.”

  Rick smiled. “Either way, you’re always welcome on Octopia.”

  “Octopia?” Evie shoved him playfully. “Is that your new name for the eighth continent? I kind of like that.”

  Rick looked hopeful. “Really?”

  “No, of course not. That name is stupid. You might as well call it Squid City.”

  Dad flailed his hands in the air. “No more squids, please! No sea creatures of any kind, thank you.”

  “Y’all could name the eighth continent Ocho,” Sprout suggested, prompting thoughtful nods from Rick and Evie.

  Diana smiled at them. “Whatever you decide to call it, I’m not sure I can leave Winterpole just yet. My mom is there, and . . . I dunno. I can be more help to you if I’m at Winterpole, on the inside. I’ll stay to deflect suspicion, and I can keep you up to date on whatever crazy schemes they’re up to.”

  “A double agent!” Evie cheered.

  “Something like that.”

  “Well, good luck,” Rick said.

  “Yeah, good luck,” Evie echoed. “Oh, and when you get back to Winterpole, can you please tell them that the Lanes are once again sovereign owners of the continent?”

  Everyone smiled. It was a hard-fought victory. But their troubles, at least for now, were over.

  “I’ll tell them for sure!” Diana said as she climbed back aboard the hovership. “And I’ll see you again soon. I promise.”

  When Diana had flown away, Sprout began to fidget anxiously.

  “What’s wrong, Sprout?” Evie asked as she and Rick stepped close to him.

  “Well shoot, y’all. This has been one grand adventure—finer than fresh berries, if I say so. But I should really be packing it back to the Prof.”

  Evie couldn’t believe it. “You . . . you’re leaving?”

  Sprout removed his hat solemnly. “Just for a while, I reckon. The Prof needs me for the growing season. But I want y’all to know that I ain’t never had two finer friends in my whole life. No finer family, neither.”

  A stubborn tear fell from Evie’s eye. She flung her arms around Sprout, and Rick joined in on the hug.

  “I’ll be seeing you soon, amigos.” Sprout backed away and strolled west toward the bow of the ship. “On the other side of the sunset.”

  Evie and Rick watched sadly as he departed. Sprout took about ten steps, then stopped, turned, and walked quickly back to his friends.

  “Um . . .” he mumbled. “I just realized—can any of y’all give me a ride back to Texas?”

  THOSE UGLY, STUPID LANES, VESUVIA THOUGHT, AS SHE FLOATED ALONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ocean. This is all their fault.

  She clung to a floating lump of vine that had broken off when Evie cut the root. Vesuvia had hung on for dear, sweet, precious life, but when the Big Whale’s engines blew out, she rode that puppy straight into the sea.

  How had she ended up here, again?

  A short way off from her flotation plant, a pink dorsal fin emerged from the water. It moved toward her, cutting a narrow wake.

  Chompedo splashed out of the water and reared up in front of her.

  “Chompedo! Thank goodness. Get me out of this cold, wet whatever-it-is.”

  The hatch on top of Chompedo opened and Granny stuck her head out. “Ocean. It’s called the ocean, Susu.”

  Vesuvia growled. “Shut up, Granny! I know what it’s called.”

  A minute later, Vesuvia slumped into a chair at the front of the compartment inside Chompedo. The industrial-strength hair dryer she had installed blasted her dry and fluffy again. “UGGGGH. I wanna go home, Granny.”

  “Not yet,” Granny said, inputting some new coordinates into Chompedo’s computer. “We still have work to do.”

  “Work? UGGGGH.”

  Granny ignored Vesuvia’s articulate protests and watched through the front portholes as Chompedo sank beneath the waves. They cruised through the deep waters of the ocean. Vesuvia was fuming. Granny Venoma was hissing. Those cursed Lanes. They ruined everything.

  Then, out of the darkness, a black robo-shark appeared. Vesuvia couldn’t see all of it in the murky depths, but it was so big it made Chompedo look like a guppy. It made the Big Whale look like a small whale. It was larger than any robot she had ever seen.

  “Granny . . . Granny! We’re heading right for that thing. Change course!”

  The old woman faced Vesuvia and gave her a quiet look, then returned her gaze to the front portholes. The black shark’s jaws unhinged. Chompedo swam into its gullet.

  Vesuvia’s pink shark surfaced at a steel dock in a cybernetically enhanced cavern. Blinking lights on the gnarled machines were the only illumination in the dim space. Robotic grabbing arms locked Chompedo in a berth, extended an exit ramp, and twisted the access hatch open.

  Vesuvia and her grandmother emerged to find a very unpleasant-looking welcoming committee.

  Twelve guards stood like toy soldiers in a row. They carried huge assault rifles in their arms and wore military uniforms as black as the stain on the Pacific had been. Stylish and deadly, just the way Vesuvia liked. It was clear these were not the bumbling agents of Winterpole. These were deadly, terrifying men.

  Standing in front of the guards was a man in a suit. It was strange, but that was the only thing she could really identify about him. Sure, when she stared at him closely she could tell that he had ghost-pale skin and craggy cheeks, but as soon as she looked away, those features faded, like details from a dream, and she was left with a single image. The suit.

  “Ah, Mister Dark, hello again. Ooh, my back.” Granny stepped down the exit ramp and approached the man.

  Vesuvia followed her. “You know this department-store mannequin?”

  “Quiet, Susu!” Granny snapped.

  Mister Dark gave Granny a look that matched his name. “You have disappointed us, Madame Condolini. You were supposed to extract the Eden Compound from the continent and bring it to us.”

  “Did you see what we had to put up with? Antagonists at every turn!” Granny showed her best annoyed-with-you face, but there was something about her tone and the look in her eyes that told Vesuvia something was wrong. She was frightened.

  Mister Dark saw it too. “We created the stain on the Pacific as a diversion, and still you failed. A handful of children and Winterpole proved to be too much for you. How disappointing.”

  Granny’s panic grew. “Mister Dark, please. You don’t understand. There was this bird, and—”

  Pulling out his pocket tablet, Mister Dark tapped on it, examining a digital control panel.

  “Hey!” Granny said. “Look at me when I’m talking to you. Don’t play with your phone.”

  Mister Dark didn’t look up. “I’m not playing.” He tapped a button on the screen.

  A hole opened in floor under Granny’s feet and she fell. “Susu!!!” she screamed, but Vesuvia didn’t even have time to reach for her. Granny was gone faster than a limited release of designer shoes. The hole in the floor closed again.

  The footsteps of Mister Dark echoed loudly as he approached Vesuvia. She held her ground. “We’ve been watching you, Vesuvia Piffle. For a long time.”

  “Shocker,” she said with a snort. “No one can take their eyes off of me.”

  He leaned over her. She flinched. “Aw. Are you afraid of me, little lady?”

  Vesuvia glared. “I’m afraid of what I might do t
o you if you don’t back off.”

  Mister Dark stared at her, unsmiling. “I’m not here to hurt you, Vesuvia Piffle. I’m here to offer you a job.”

  “Oh yeah? Working for you?”

  “No,” Mister Dark said. “Working for Mastercorp.”

  Vesuvia stared, positively vexed. “Mastercorp?”

  “Who do you think owns all this? Who do you think allowed you to torment the Lanes and pursue the eighth continent? It was us, all along.”

  “Why would I want to work for you? I already own a billion-dollar company.”

  “Mastercorp is a trillion-dollar company. We make Condo Corp look like a used-sock emporium. Bargain basement. With us, think of all the marvelous things you could do, Vesuvia. Devastate landscapes. Destroy the lives of anyone who dares question you or looks at you funny. Suck every last drop of blood from the earth.”

  “So what?” she asked, but she found herself falling into Mister Dark’s hypnotic stare.

  “With our help, you could obliterate those pathetic Lanes once and for all.”

  Vesuvia’s eyes widened. “Where do I sign?”

  “Excellent!” A woman’s voice said. Vesuvia had not known she was there. “I knew you would see it our way.”

  A shadowy figure stepped out of the darkness and into the light. She wore the same black uniform as the soldiers. Her perfect blond hair was smoothed flat against her head.

  Vesuvia’s mouth hung open wider than Chompedo’s. “Mom?”

  MATT LONDON (http://themattlondon.com) is a writer, video game designer, and avid recycler who has published short fiction and articles about movies, TV, video games, and other nerdy stuff. Matt is a graduate of the Clarion Writers’ Workshop, and studied computers, cameras, rockets, and robots at New York University. When not investigating lost civilizations, Matt explores the mysterious island where he lives—Manhattan.

  Find out more at

  8THCONTINENTBOOKS.COM