Father of the Man
Page 26
TONY
Oh. Carol Klingman.
HESTER
Carol Klingman, indeed. (Jokily, but not all that jokily) The very Carol Klingman who lives in the flat right under this. Lives there with her father the insurance broker and with her mother the insurance broker’s wife. The very Carol Klingman, what’s more, who resembles nothing so much as a fashion model—or a princess—or a film star. The very Carol Klingman who—
TONY
Who resembles what?
FLORA
Darling, you can’t deny that she’s extremely good-looking.
HESTER
Good-looking? Beautiful!
TONY
Always you say that and always I think we must be talking about two wholly different people. Aunt Ellen, have you ever met this model, this film star? This Princess Carol Klingman?
ELLEN
Well, with my living right across the road, you’d think that I must have. But perhaps I was so dazzled I thought I had the sun in my eyes.
HESTER
(To ELLEN) I assure you, she’s tall and willowy and graceful, and exceedingly distinguished, and totally unspoilt—
TONY
—and totally stupid—
HESTER
—and very sweet and unassuming when she talks to you—
TONY
—and clearly just as clueless when she doesn’t.
HESTER
Please pay no attention to him. They’ve been out together twice and he thinks he knows her. And, both times, they’ve had a really lovely evening—her parents told us so. They, by the way, are quite as charming as she is, and not simply are they extremely well-heeled…with Carol being their only child…they’ve also intimated, more than once, that they could easily imagine worse things than their daughter one day becoming a Berg.
TONY
Don’t you mean a Drapkin?
HESTER
What? Oh, yes. Well, you mustn’t split hairs. I’m only thankful that the Klingmans aren’t here with us right now. For some reason, though apparently right-minded in every other way, they seem to think you possess something called intelligence—and class—and a really brilliant future. So far, I haven’t disillusioned them. Of course, if you truly mean to turn your back on such an unrepeatable opportunity, I shan’t feel obliged to.
ELLEN
Perhaps this girl that Tony’s meeting tonight has a father who’s…well, let’s see…a doctor or a banker or a lawyer? (To TONY) Tell me something that would top a Klingman.
TONY
Hopefully—in this case—an axe.
HESTER
(To FLORA) And there you are. There speaks your saint.
FLORA
You were the one who called him a saint.
TONY
Listen, everyone. Can’t we just be serious for a minute? There’s something I want to explain. It’s about Sandra—this girl whom I’ll be seeing tonight.
FLORA
My God! He’s got himself engaged!
TONY
No. We’re not engaged.
FLORA
Well, then, you’ve got her into trouble.
TONY shakes his head. There’s a knock at the door. MARY comes in.
MARY
(To HESTER) Shall you want more hot water?
HESTER
No! (Less sharply) No, thank you, Mary. We have everything we need.
MARY
You haven’t eaten very much. Is the sponge cake heavy? (To HESTER) You remember—I warned you—I thought the sponge cake would be heavy. (Skittish again) It was all your fault! You told me I should write that letter to my father—so I hurried with the beating of it. Therefore, blame Mrs Berg, everyone. Has everybody finished? Shall I clear away?
HESTER
No. Just leave it all till later.
MARY
Really? Oh, yes. Very well.
TONY
And the sponge cake wasn’t heavy.
MARY
Thank you, Mr Tony. But I think I didn’t beat it up enough. Next time it will be better.
She goes out.
HESTER
Now. Where were we?
Knock at the door. MARY again, but now she merely puts her head in.
MARY
Oh, I gave Mr Davis your message. He told me to present his compliments to the ladies and to ask them how they did. And he said he would look forward to seeing Mr Tony if it was convenient.
HESTER
Yes. Thank you, Mary.
MARY
But he won’t remember it, of course. Bless him.
She gives a benevolent smile—in which she invites them all to share—then finally departs.
HESTER
(Cont.) I hardly know which is more wearisome: when she’s being difficult or when she’s setting out to please. Or when she’s dropping all the china. Continue, Tony, if you would. The floor is yours.
TONY
Well, it’s nothing very revolutionary. It’s just that…
Pause, while he summons up his courage.
TONY
(Cont.; blurting this out, rather) It’s just that we’ve decided to live together. And tonight I’m moving my things across.
FLORA
What! (Pause) But we’ve never heard you even mention this girl. How long have you known her?
TONY
Not that long.
FLORA
How long?
TONY
Ten days.
FLORA
My God!
TONY
I’ve seen a lot of her in those ten days.
FLORA
And nights, no doubt.
HESTER
Flora!
FLORA
Well, that’s right, Tony, isn’t it?
HESTER
(To TONY) But haven’t you given rather short notice to the friends you’re living with at present? Not much time for them to find anybody new.
TONY
No, I’ve already fixed for someone to take my place. He was delighted. At least I’ve made one person’s day for him.
ELLEN
And Sandra’s too, I should imagine.
TONY
(Wan smile) Yes, I hope so.
FLORA
Hope so?
ELLEN
(Amiably) He’s only being modest, you silly girl.
But the audience should get the feeling there was also an element of failing courage.
FLORA
(To TONY) So where will you be living now?
TONY
Sandra has a flat.
FLORA
Her own flat? (Marginally less cold) Or do you mean she shares it with other students?
TONY
No, she’s not a student. It’s her own.
HESTER
What, have her parents bought it for her?
TONY
No, she rents it.
FLORA
Where?
TONY
Just off the Mile End Road.
FLORA
(To HESTER) Of course, you know where that is?
ELLEN
I hear the East End is coming up these days. Doesn’t David Owen have a house there? (TONY nods) Not bad! Having the Owens for your neighbours could carry nearly the same cachet as having the Klingmans.
TONY
Well, this is one of the tattier parts…Not that I can see it’s relevant.
HESTER
Anyway. This girl has a flat in the East End. She isn’t a student. What else can you tell us about her?
FLORA
What’s her job?
TONY
She doesn’t have one.
HESTER
But her training? What kind of thing is she after?
TONY
She isn’t. She’s got two young boys to bring up. One who’s just four, one who’s only nine months.
FLORA
(Pause) My God.
HESTER
You mean
—she’s divorced?
TONY
Widowed.
HESTER
Widowed? At that age? (Totally sincere) Dear Lord. How dreadful.
FLORA
What age is she?
TONY
Twenty-four.
HESTER
What age was her husband?
TONY
About the same. (Again, getting it over with) He committed suicide. Last year. Hanged himself. He was into drugs.
Stunned silence.
FLORA
(Without expression) If the father was a drug addict…that means the children will have it in their blood.
The door slowly opens and in comes WALTER DAVIS. He is bearded, impressive; looks like Edward VII. Sometimes it can be seen how badly his hands shake.
WALTER
My word. A party. Can anybody come? (Chuckles) And do they need to be in their Sunday best and to have had their faces washed?
TONY
(Standing, going forward) Hello, Mr Davis-sir. I think your face looks washed enough.
WALTER
Hello, Mr Tony-sir. And so does yours—so does yours!—I trust you’ve been inspected behind the ears. Good afternoon, ladies. By Jove, what a bevy of beauties. Why wasn’t I told?
ELLEN
That’s a very pretty speech. I think you must have rehearsed it.
WALTER
(Chuckles) Yes, isn’t it? I probably did. Well, this is all extremely pleasant.
HESTER
Walter, darling, I wonder if we could ask you to come back in just a little while? We’re in the midst of a very boring conversation. It wouldn’t interest you at all.
But WALTER has now caught sight of the sponge and cinnamon balls, etc.
WALTER
My word. Is this a party? (Chuckles) They must have forgotten to send me my invitation. Is someone getting married?
HESTER
Yes, me, darling. (Gets up) Let me put a few of these things on a plate (she does so) although I shouldn’t really—you’ve already had your tea—
WALTER
(Honest bewilderment) No, I haven’t.
HESTER
Yes, darling, you have.
WALTER
(With serene good nature) Look here, my child, I’m the one who ought to know whether I’ve had my tea or not. (With shaking hand, he takes his fob watch from his waistcoat pocket; studies it intently) Yet it certainly does look as though I should have had it; there are grounds for your mistake. (To TONY, chuckling) It never does to contradict a lady. Especially not one who’s getting married. Is it my imagination or are brides growing younger and lovelier each year? I wonder who the fortunate gentleman is.
HESTER
You are, darling.
WALTER
(To the rest of the company, as he puts away his watch; marked air of naughtiness) Well, I have managed to escape it for ninety years or more. Now that I’m growing up, I suppose it was too much to expect I could go on being so lucky.
HESTER has by this time taken his arm and is vainly trying to lead him to the door.
WALTER
(Cont) “But I knaw’d a Quaaker feller as often ’as towd ma this: ‘Doant thou marry for munny, but goa wheer munny is!’ An’ I went wheer munny war: an’ thy mother coom to ’and, Wi’ lots o’ munny laid by, an’ a nicetish bit o’ land. Maaybe she warn’t a beauty:—I niver giv it a thowt—But warn’t she as good to cuddle an’ kiss as a lass as ’ant nowt?”
TONY and ELLEN clap. WALTER beams.
WALTER
(Cont) Yes, ’pon my word, old Tennyson certainly knew a thing or two. (To HESTER) Now then, my child, you mustn’t push, you know; it really isn’t done—not in the very best of circles. Well, tra-la, ladies and gentleman. It’s been an honour and a privilege to meet you all.
TONY
I’ll come and see you, Mr Davis, in a little while.
WALTER
That will be very nice, Mr Tony-sir.
He goes out, holding his plate of goodies. HESTER, at the door, calls, “Mary! Come and take Mr Davis back to his room. And bring his walking stick.” Then she closes the door and returns to her chair.
HESTER
Sit down again, Tony.
TONY
I’d rather not for the moment. Thank you.
ELLEN
Really, isn’t he the most marvellous man—Walter? It’s hard to believe he used to be so wayward in his youth. I find it immensely reassuring: there may yet be hope for the rest of us.
HESTER
He’s still extremely obstinate. But yes. One could never wish for a less demanding lodger. However…talking of wayward and obstinate youth…(She looks at TONY, with severe yet tolerant smile.)
TONY
I’m not wayward. Nor obstinate.
HESTER
Well, that remains to be seen.
FLORA
What does ‘wayward’ mean?
ELLEN
Young people who don’t listen to their grandmothers.
TONY
But I do listen. (Smiles) And listen. And listen.
HESTER
No, you don’t. Otherwise you’d sit down.
TONY
(Sits) There. You see.
FLORA
(To TONY) This woman. How does she manage? Do her parents support her?
TONY
Mum, she isn’t ‘this woman’. She’s Sandra. But no. She gets the dole. Obviously she has it pretty tough.
We sense more commitment now, less uncertainty.
TONY
(Cont) And, my God, she’s had it tough for at least the past five years!
FLORA
What does her father do?
TONY
I don’t know. (Pause) He certainly isn’t one of the professional classes, if that’s what you’re hoping.
FLORA
(Coldly) So where did you meet her?
TONY
At a disco.
HESTER
At a disco! Oh, this is ridiculous. Ten days ago. At a disco.
TONY
What’s wrong with discos? Lots of very respectable people go to discos.
HESTER But do they go alone? Women in their twenties?
TONY
Who said she went alone? And what if she did? Her nextdoor neighbour suddenly offered to babysit and…and it was the first time since…And she decided to get dressed up and have a good time. What’s so wrong with that? She likes music. She likes dancing. She—
FLORA
Who asked who to dance?
TONY
All right, Mum, so she asked me—ever heard of a movement called Women’s Lib? But the thing is, that once we began to talk I realized how nice she was. She had this quality. It’s difficult to explain. I felt drawn to her.
HESTER
You felt sorry for her.
TONY
Not at all. What do you think?—that she instantly said, “I’m a widow, my husband was a junkie, killed himself, I have two kids.” She only started telling me that when I was walking her home.
HESTER
And, anyway, I’m not saying you weren’t right to feel sorry for her. What kind of monster wouldn’t? All I’m saying is, it’s a mistake to let yourself become involved. Worse than a mistake. It’s thoughtless; stupid.You’d be encouraging her to grow dependent on you—oh I mean emotionally, not financially, she knows you’re only a student. And then what would happen? When you’d made a big difference to her life, perhaps been like a father to her children? You’d turn your back on her, let her down again, just like she was let down by her husband. You can’t expect us to approve of any situation that could lead to that?
TONY
I don’t intend to turn my back on her.
HESTER
Not at the moment. Of course you don’t. But you’ll forgive my mentioning this: I don’t think you’re someone who ever looks too far into the future.
FLORA
(To TONY) Don�
�t say you mean to marry her? (TONY gives a shrug.)
HESTER
So what do you intend?
TONY
Perhaps only to help her over a bad patch? You can’t always be looking years and years ahead. You have to do what seems right at the moment. If she has stability now, then in five or six years’ time the children will both be at school, she’ll have a job, she’ll be out and about meeting people. And she’ll have got through that initial period of real isolation and hopelessness and—
HESTER
But all this sounds so muddled. I don’t understand it. Are you telling us you love this girl or that you’re just going in for social work?
TONY
I…(Hesitates)
HESTER
(To the others) You see?
TONY
I think I do love her. She’s nice. She’s…You’ll like her. Right now I’m sure you have the wrong impression. And the children, too…they’re great. They don’t deserve any of this shit that’s—I mean they don’t deserve any of what’s happened to them. None of them do.
HESTER
Or of what’s going to happen to them?
TONY
How can you talk like that? Nobody has a crystal ball.
HESTER turns to FLORA, then shrugs and raises her hands.
TONY
(Cont) Besides…I like to have people depend on me.
HESTER
You’re just a boy.
TONY
Yes. You’re always saying that. So perhaps it’s time I grew up and took on a bit of responsibility.
FLORA
Oh, you fool. You say you want to have people depend on you. What do you think I’ve had to do all these years but train myself not to depend on you? (Pause) Never to let you see how much I minded when you went out in the evenings! (Pause) Even having to make myself encourage you when you first spoke about going on holiday without me, and then, last year, about moving into a house with other students! (Pause) And yet you must know how very lonely I get—how much I hate my own company—how much I dislike being in an empty flat after dark…even putting off going to bed because sometimes I get silly and a little scared. (Pause) So, if you want people to depend on you, you should maybe look a little closer to home.
She is by this time having to dab at her eyes and to blow her nose.
FLORA
(Cont) And how do you think it’s been for me living for twenty years without a husband or a boyfriend or anyone to take care of me—because your father didn’t want a baby and swore he’d walk out if I refused to have you aborted?
TONY
(Embarrassed) I know all that, Mum.
FLORA
No, you don’t. How could you? When have I ever told you how much I always needed somebody to depend on?