Musings of a Gossip Queen: A Chick-Lit Comedy

by Victoria Bright

  6:21 a.m.

  Still outside

  “Hurry up, Milo, it’s freezing,” I say to him as he sniffs the same spot on the ground for the fifth time. He looks at me for a brief second and then changes direction to sniff elsewhere. I sigh and try to focus on something else other than my fingers and toes going numb from the cold.

  My mind reverts back to kissing Silas on Saturday. I still didn’t know what it meant or what we are. I dubbed the first kiss simply as being impulsive and done out of excitement, but he’d kissed me again before he left to go home. I didn’t hear from him at all yesterday, so did he regret doing it? Will he do another 360 and be quiet and distant at work like he did after the first party we’d gone to? There are so many questions and not enough answers. Maybe I’m just thinking about all this too hard. He did say that he liked me, so that’s a start. Perhaps I shouldn’t stress about it too much. It’s only been a week. I don’t want to seem like a desperate love-sick stalker or something. Just play it cool for now. Don’t sweat it.

  6:25 a.m.

  STILL outside, but Milo is FINALLY going to the bathroom. Jesus.

  Taylor pops out the door of our building wearing a pair of black Nike shorts and a bright neon green windbreaker. This girl must have the immune system of steel because she’s NEVER sick. Her fiery red hair is slicked back in a neat ponytail that swishes behind her as she bounces down the stairs.

  “Morning, Carolina,” she says with a bright smile. I sigh. Just when I think we’re off on the right start with my name, she reverts back to her annoying nickname.

  “Hi, Taylor,” I say.

  “Any word back from your boyfriend about the photo shoot?”

  “He’s not my boyfriend.”

  “He should be. It’s obvious that you two have the hots for each other,” she says with a smirk.

  I roll my eyes. “Anyway, I haven’t heard anything about it. I’ll ask him when I see him at work,” I respond, trying to change from this boyfriend subject.

  She put her earbuds in her ears with a nod. “Okay then. Keep me updated!” she says and starts to run in the opposite direction. Milo comes to stand next to me, looking at me and shivering.

  “Oh, now you want to be cold and go inside,” I mutter. He whimpers and nudges my leg with his nose. I pick him up and wrap him in my coat, grinning when he licks my face and snuggles down in my arms. Even though he was an asshole the majority of the time, there’s no denying how cute he is.

  As Told By Blake

  By Blake Spencer

  The celebrities are out tonight for the Golden Globes after-party! Beautifully decorated in white, navy blue, and gold, stars from all sectors of the industry came out in droves to enjoy great music and food, and to celebrate their colleagues on their winnings!

  Celebrity chef, Yusef Corbin, provided delicious food samples while pop sensations, Nadia and Chelsea Lee, performed their new hit singles. If you weren’t there, you definitely missed what could possibly be the party of the year. If we can expect future parties to top this one, we’re in for a treat!

  Love and gossip,

  Blake

  Small Girl, Big City

  By Madison Hill

  [I can’t translate what this Sperm whale droned on about. Who do I look like, Aquaman? Use your imagination to think of what she may have written. Just imagine something boring about fashion don’ts or something. Snoozeville.]

  9:03 a.m.

  Hot Topic magazine office

  Shayla bombards me as soon as I walk through the door. “What the hell, Blake?” she nearly shrieks, pulling me over to our workstation.

  I raise an eyebrow. “What? What did I do?”

  “It looks like you lived like a superstar this weekend!” Leo says as he approaches us. “The dress you wore to the party was phenomenal.”

  “I thought you said you didn’t have Snapchat,” I say, squinting at him suspiciously.

  He waves me off. “I don’t. But you and Silas are on almost every major tabloid outlet with everyone trying to figure out who’s this mysterious power couple,” he answers.

  My eyes widen. I’d completely forgotten that we’d had our pictures taken and didn’t even think that they’d end up in tabloids and other magazines. If everyone else has seen the pictures, I can only imagine that Free Willy has seen it, too. So much for my best day ever.

  Shayla, with her arm looped through mine, walks me over to her computer where a photo of Silas and me is pulled up on her screen.

  “I’m seriously starting to think you hate me since you’ve yet to invite me to a party,” she teases. “But you and Silas look so amazing. You look like a supermodel.”

  “Why aren’t you one?” Caesar asks, popping a few dry Fruit Loops into his mouth as he leans against Shayla’s desk.

  “One what?” I ask.

  “A model. You have the look for it.”

  “Eh, the celebrity life isn’t really for me. I prefer to write about it, not live it,” I say just as Silas walks through the door.

  He looks at me from across the room and grins as he settles at his desk, making me blush. His hair is back to his usual messy, yet adorable look, much different from his sophisticated look he sported at the party this past weekend.

  Carrie Jo moves next to me and gives me a light jab in the ribs. “So are the headlines true then?” she asked.

  “What headlines?” I ask with a raised brow.

  “That you two are a couple,” Shayla answers.

  I glance across the room to see Silas flipping through his camera with Kreepy Kevin and shrug. “You can’t believe everything you read, ladies,” I say with a wink, walking around to my own desk.

  “Oh, no you don’t!” Shayla states. “You just winked, so that means something!”

  I sit and grin, spinning in my chair a couple of times. “Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. The world will never know.”

  12:46 p.m.

  In the break room

  My best day ever is slowing starting to turn into the most anxious one. Although we’ve been rather busy all morning, I can’t help but think about how Silas has hardly said much to me today. But he smiled at me, so that’s a good sign, right?

  Fuck.

  Why are guys so confusing?

  12:50 p.m.

  Still in the break room

  Silas and Caesar comes into the break room and joins Shayla, Carrie Jo, Leo, and me at the table. Silas pulls up a chair and squeezes in between Carrie Jo and me and smiles.

  “Hey,” he says.

  “Hi,” I say, cutting my eyes to my friends who are smirking at me.

  “Did you have fun at the party last night, Si?” Leo asks.

  “Did you tell them what happened already?” Silas asks me. I shake my head.

  “Oh, oh, tell us what? That you guys are really a couple?” Shayla asks, bouncing in her seat.

  Silas chuckled and shook his head. “Not that. I met Adam Herrera at the party and Blake here,” he says, reaching over to give my hand a squeeze, “helped me get the biggest opportunity of my life.”

  “You met THE Adam Herrera? World renowned photographer?” Kevin asks across the break room, his mouth damn near on the floor.

  Silas nods. “I went over and told him my photography goals and he asked me to do a fashion and glamour shoot and send him my best pictures. If he likes them, he may even mentor me or connect me with someone who can.”

  “Aw man! So you’re going to be leaving us if he likes it!” Leo wails. “You’re the only man candy we have here!”

  “He’s not the only guy here, you know,” Kevin says with a scowl.

  “I said he was the only man candy, not the only man,” Leo corrects him and rolls his eyes.

  “Geez, thanks for finding me unattractive,” Caesar says and laughs.

  “You’re chocolate man candy,” Leo says and grins. “No one can deny chocolate.”

  I giggle as I take in a mouthful of salad. It still feels as if I’m still in a dream. So mu
ch has happened in the first week I’ve been with this magazine. I’ve gone to three celebrity parties, I’ve met the coolest co-workers ever and I’m probably two kisses away from having a boyfriend. It’s so crazy how things have changed in such a short time span. Perhaps the opportunity was what I needed to have a fresh start.

  1:15 p.m.

  Bathroom

  “I’m still so jealous of you. Your life is so interesting,” Shayla says as she leans against the counter. I continue fixing my makeup and shrug.

  “It’s really not that big of a deal. Celebrities are people just like us,” I say.

  “Says the girl that gets to hang out with them and is friends with a model,” Carrie Jo jokes as she comes out of the stall and walks over to the sink to wash her hands.

  “Well,” I say, wanting to change the subject. “If I tell you guys something, you have to swear it doesn’t leave this bathroom.”

  “We swear,” they both say in unison, their eyes lighting up with excitement.

  I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Silas and I kissed that night.” They gasped. “Twice.”

  “Damn, girl!” Shayla exclaims. “You’ve already gotten further than Madison ever will!”

  “Well, how did it happen?” Carrie Jo asks.

  “The first time happened in the blur of excitement from his talk with Herrera, I think,” I say, slightly blushing as I remember that moment but then cringing when I remember being shocked to death. “And when we got back to my place, he kissed me good night.”

  “Back to your place? Does that mean….you know?” Shayla asks as she wiggles her eyebrows.

  Oh how I wish. Instead, I just laugh and wave her off. “No. We went to the party in a limo with my friend and his motorcycle was still at my place. That’s it.”

  Carrie Jo shrieks and hugs me tight. “Well, this just dills my pickle! You two make the perfect couple!” she exclaims.

  “We’re not a couple,” I say for what feels like the millionth time today. “Yet, anyway.”

  “The keyword is yet, which means that it’s plausible. It’s just waiting to see how long you guys officially announce it,” Shayla says with a smirk.

  Well, if things continue the way they are, that may happen sooner than we all think.

  Maybe.

  Please help it happen, baby Jesus.

  1:20 p.m.

  Hallway

  “Hey Blake, wait up,” Silas calls behind us as he jogs down the hallway. We all stop and allow him to catch up.

  “Hey,” I say.

  He glances at Shayla and Carrie Jo and then focuses on me. “Can I talk to you really quick?”

  “Yeah, sure. What’s up?”

  Carrie Jo and Shayla giggle next to me as Silas clears his throat. “Can we talk alone, please?”

  “I don’t think we’re wanted around here, Shay,” Carrie Jo teases to Shayla. “We should let the mysterious power couple talk in private.”

  They slink off, giggling and glancing over their shoulder until they finally walked into our work area, leaving Silas and I alone in the hallway.

  “So what’s up?” I ask, leaning against the wall.

  “I wanted to talk to you about the photo shoot,” he says, joining me in leaning against the wall.

  “Oh yeah. She asked me about it this morning. Just let me know where you’d like to meet her and I’ll let her know.”

  “Well, I wanted to know if you’d like to be my assistant,” he said.

  “I wouldn’t know the first thing about being a photographer’s assistant. I don’t want to be in the way of something that can be big for you.”

  “But if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have this opportunity,” he reminds me.

  I smile and tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Okay then,” I say and fold my arms across my chest. “So when are we planning this shoot, boss?”

  “I have a few lights and things for my camera that should be here on Wednesday. So I think Friday after work would be good.”

  “Where would we do it?”

  “My apartment,” he answers.

  Um. What?

  “Your apartment?” I ask.

  He chuckles. “It has high ceilings, very natural lighting and a lot of space for this type of thing. You’ll see,” he promises.

  I shrug. “Okay then. Well, I’ll let Taylor know. She’s really excited about it. So is there going to be a makeup artist or stylist there or what?”

  He blows out a breath and runs a hand through his hair. “Shit. Didn’t even think of that.”

  “I’ll ask her to see if she can bring her own along with her. If not, we’ll figure something out,” I reassure him. He nods and smiles again.

  “You’re a lifesaver, Blake.”

  “Glad I can help,” I say.

  He pushes off the wall and walks back toward our work area while I sigh. I’d much rather be Blake the Girlfriend instead of Blake the Lifesaver.

  Ugh.

  3:11 p.m.

  At my desk

  I scroll through my Instagram feed in search of anything potentially interesting to write about.

  Celebrity couple on vacation? Boring.

  Socialite with a new tattoo? Eh. People get tattoos every day. Next.

  Another post-workout selfie from a “celebrity” who blew up after a sex tape scandal? Blah.

  “I hope you’re prepared for your interview tomorrow since you’re wasting time on social media,” Free Willy says as she passes. “It’s not like your interview is our magazine headline that could embarrass all of us if you screw this up.”

  I roll my eyes. I’m almost convinced she has an internal alarm that goes off every half hour to remind her to bother me about one thing or another.

  “I have my interview under control, Madison,” I say through my teeth.

  “I sure hope so. It would be very unfortunate to blow such an opportunity, especially on Gary’s dime. Last person who did that was fired,” she says and skips off to her desk.

  Shayla giggles and shakes her head. “She’s definitely lying,” Shayla says. “Don’t take anything she says seriously.”

  It’s not like I take anything she says seriously anyway. I still don’t speak whale.

  3:22 p.m.

  At my desk

  Blake Unfiltered blog post #789

  Today is a pretty slow, boring day. Maybe it’s just because I’m anxious about tomorrow and how everything will go. I feel like I have so much pressure on my shoulders. Here I am the new girl around here and I’ve already scored a very big story that could be big for the magazine. Doesn’t help that Madicunt is practically rooting for me to fail. Ugh. Nothing is too new with her, just her being her usual twit self and up to her normal twitty tendencies with her harassment. I’m starting to think that she’s obsessed with me. She’s either always glaring at me or—

  “Blake Unfiltered? Your ‘secret’ little Tumblr blog doesn’t look like work, new girl,” Madison says next to me. I slap my iPad cover closed and place it on my lap, praying to God that she didn’t see anything I’d written.

  “I’m actually done with—”

  “Then find something else to do instead of messing around on Tumblr,” she said as she rolls her eyes and walks away.

  “Then find something else to do instead of messing around on Tumblr,” I mimic under my breath, turning to my computer. Shayla peeks at me over her computer monitor with a smirk and watches as Madicunt walks over to her desk and plops down.

  “She just has it out for you,” she murmurs.

  I shrug. I don’t give a damn.

  “Yeah, because she’s delusional,” I mutter, clicking around on my computer. I think back to my first day here and how she threatened to try to have me fired for “touching what was hers.” It’s always so strange how delusional people think. Perhaps I should look into having her committed to a mental ward. She obviously needs help.

  5:06 p.m.

  Clocking out

  “I could
go for some fro-yo right now,” Shayla says as she adjusts her bag on her shoulder.

  “It’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra. Why would you want that?” Carrie Jo asks.

  Shayla shakes her head and puts her hand on her hip. “You’re crazy. It’s never too cold for fro-yo, Kentucky.”

  “I’m actually starving for Chinese,” I say, pulling on my coat.

  “There’s a really good place a few blocks from here. Lo mein actually sounds a little better than fro-yo,” Shayla says.

  “I’m good with Chinese.” Carrie Jo loops her arms through ours and pulls us down the hallway. “Woot! Girls’ night out!”

  5:47 p.m.

  S.J. Wok Chinese restaurant

  We settle at a table in the back of the restaurant. The place is pretty busy and the air buzzes with excited chatter, everything sounding like a distorted blur aside from the occasional yelling in Chinese from the kitchen.