Musings of a Gossip Queen: A Chick-Lit Comedy

by Victoria Bright

  “I’ll always come around to visit. I won’t disappear forever,” he promises with a grin.

  “How’d you even get an opportunity like that?” Kevin asks. He still works here?

  “I met him at a party Blake invited me to. Had she not urged me to talk to him, he wouldn’t have offered to help me. It was complete luck, really,” he says, smiling at me.

  “It was luck that you met him, but it was your skill that got you the chance,” I remind him with a wink. He smiles and nods.

  “So true,” he replies.

  “Okay then, now for the group winners and I’m sorry it took so long to announce it. You guys know how hectic things can be when we’re in the middle of getting the magazine out,” Gary announces. “Although all of your magazines were great, one stood out the most with its creative vision. Congrats, Shayla and Caesar.”

  “Woo!” Shayla cheers, jumping up and into Caesar’s arms. Everyone claps for them but the celebration is immediately cut short when we hear commotion in the hallway.

  “What the hell was that?” Kevin asks.

  “Shayla!” someone yells from outside the conference room.

  Her eyes go wide as she quickly lets go of Caesar and dashes out of the meeting room with everyone on her heels. Her boyfriend is throwing books and kicking chairs as he moves from room to room looking for her.

  “Devin, what are you doing here?” she shrieks.

  He charges toward her and grabs her by the throat. “You think I’m going to let you embarrass me by being a slut?” he bellows.

  “What are you talking about?” she screams, trying to pry his hands from her neck. The guys rush over to try to subdue him, but he pushes them off.

  “Which one of you assholes is Caesar?” Devin asks.

  “What the hell is going on here?” Gary asks, his face turning red.

  “Don’t act like you don’t know what’s going on, baldie,” Devin snaps. “The homepage of your fucking website has articles published about how some dickhead named Caesar is fucking my girlfriend like the slut she is and now she’s pregnant!”

  “Wait, what?” Caesar says in shock and looks to Shayla. “You’re pregnant?”

  Before anyone could say anything, Devin swings at Caesar and sends both men to the floor. Gary, Silas, and Kevin pull them apart.

  “Someone better start explaining what the hell is going on right this minute!” Gary demands as he struggles to keep the squirming Devin in his grasp.

  He eventually breaks free, his chest heaving as he looks at all of us before narrowing his eyes at Shayla. “I have my friends calling and texting me and telling me that my girlfriend is having an affair with her co-worker. When I try to tell them they’re wrong, they pull up the website for this shithole and low and behold there are a couple of articles about you all over the homepage. When you were staying late to work on this so-called project, were you fucking him?”

  “Someone bring up the magazine website,” Gary demands.

  Leo pulls out his phone and begins typing on it, shaking his head in confusion after a few moments. “It keeps rerouting to a Blake Unfiltered blog,” he says.

  Everyone looks at me with wide eyes. Gary takes the phone from Leo and scans over the screen, scrolling through whatever he was looking at. I’ve never wished to disappear so much in my life as I did in that moment. My blog has been hacked and put out on display to not only my co-workers, but to the world.

  “What is this?” Gary asks me.

  I struggle for words to say. “I…it’s a…”

  “It’s her ‘private’ blog that she used to write shit about people,” Madison quips, the smirk never leaving her face. “I’m pretty sure that’s strong enough grounds to fire her.”

  “Blake, is that true?” Silas asks as he helped Caesar off the floor.

  “Look for yourself, Si,” Madison offers, handing her phone to him. Everyone pulls out their phone and goes to the magazine homepage, their eyes looking at their screens in disbelief.

  “You guys banged in the break room? I hope it wasn’t on the table I like to sit at,” Kevin mutters, shaking his head. The words send Devin back into a rage as he lunges at Caesar again.

  “Enough!” Gary shouts. “I want you out of here before I call the cops.”

  “You and I are done. Don’t even bother coming home,” Devin yells as Silas and Kevin pull him down the hallway toward the exit.

  “Blake, Shayla, and Caesar, in my office NOW!” Gary demands, turning on his heels and storming toward his office. I look to CJ and Leo, who only shake their head at me as they turn to walk away. Shayla and Caesar follow behind Gary without a word or look at me. Madison leans against the wall with a smirk on her face.

  “Blake, get in here!” Gary yells.

  I sigh and make my way to the office. I’ve really done it now.

  11:56 a.m.

  Gary’s office

  No one says anything at first. Caesar rubs his jaw while Shayla sits in front of Gary’s desk sniffling.

  Gary sighs. “I don’t even know where to start first,” he says. “I have a blog with incriminating articles as my magazine homepage and then the rumor going around that two of my employees are having sexual relations on the premises.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his desk. “Shayla? Caesar? Is this true?”

  “Yeah,” Caesar answers with no hesitation.

  “And you, Blake,” Gary says. “How did you find out about this to write about it?”

  Shayla and Caesar both look at me as I shift uncomfortably by the door. “I um, I had to come back here to get a battery for the camera and I saw them.”

  “I see,” Gary says, turning to his computer. He reads the screen and shakes his head as he scrolls. “Look, the purpose of this magazine is to feature the scoop on the lives of celebrities, not everybody else’s personal drama. I don’t know how this blog has been rerouted to my domain and I don’t care. This is completely unacceptable. All three of you are dismissed for the rest of the day until I figure out what I want to do with you. You can leave now.”

  Shayla storms past me, nearly knocking me over on her way out as Caesar follows close behind her. Gary looks at me and shakes his head.

  “You’re one of my best columnists. I expected more out of you, Blake,” he says.

  “Gary, I didn’t put that up there—”

  “You didn’t write the articles or you didn’t upload them onto the site?”

  “I didn’t upload them to the site.”

  “But you wrote them, which is bad enough. Why?” he asks.

  I open my mouth to answer, but nothing comes out. I don’t know why. I don’t have a reason to tell him that justifies any of this. I simply did it because I wanted to. I thought writing it on a private blog instead of talking to people about it would be a better alternative, but it seems like things are only safe inside my head.

  “Well?” he asks.

  “I don’t know,” I answer. He sighs and gestures toward the door.

  “You’re dismissed then,” he says. I turn and walk out of the office, almost running into a smirking Madison who was probably eavesdropping the whole time.

  “Poor, poor you,” she says and giggles. “I told you to watch yourself.”

  I push past her and walk back to my workstation to gather my things, trying to block out her laughing. I’m pretty sure she’s somehow behind this. Who would’ve known that accidentally spilling coffee on someone and dating a guy she liked would cause me to be on the verge of losing my job and having my friends mad at me? On second thought, I can’t even blame all of this on Madison as much as I’d like to. None of this wouldn’t have happened if the blog didn’t exist in the first place. No, apparently I didn’t learn my lesson when this very thing happened almost three months ago. Instead of it being on a small scale with just the people in my town knowing about the dirty laundry I wrote about, people around the world will know. I’ve fucked up big time.

  Leo and Carrie Jo comfort Shayla as she
packs her workbag and Caesar is nowhere to be seen. After gathering my coat and purse, I slowly move to Shayla’s desk.

  “Shayla, I’m—”

  “Fuck you, Blake. I trusted you not to tell anyone and you go and write it in a fucking blog?” she snaps. “You were never my friend.” She snatches her things and leaves the room.

  “That was a hella shady thing you did, Blake. I thought you were better than that,” Leo says, his words filling me with guilt.

  “Shouldn’t you be leaving? I’m pretty sure I heard Gary say you were suspended for the rest of the day,” Madicunt announces when she enters the room and sees that I’m still there.

  I glare at her. “You’re such a bitch. I’m sure you’re the one who did this,” I say.

  She laughs. “Yeah, I’m a bitch and you’re about to be unemployed! Toodles!” she says, waving.

  I grind my teeth together as I leave. I should’ve known better. Nothing is ever really private, is it?

  Me and my big mouth has caused another relationship to crumble and may leave myself and two other people without a job. Tears burn my eyes as I make my way down the hall to the elevator. I’m not sure how I can fix this, but I need to figure out something. Even if Gary doesn’t want to give me another chance, I can’t bear the thought of knowing two innocent people lost their job because of me.

  Silas steps off the elevator when the doors open and looks at me. “You’re leaving?” he asks.

  I turn my gaze away, unable to look at him. “Yeah, I’ve been dismissed for the rest of the day.”

  “As you should. What were you thinking?” he scolds.

  “It was a private blog, Silas. None of this was supposed to happen. I don’t know how, but Madison—”

  “This isn’t about Madison. How could you write stuff like that? It’s one thing to write stories about celebrities, but these people are supposed to be your friends!”

  “I didn’t think there was any harm in writing things I observed. This blog was never supposed to be public and Madison—”

  “I thought you were different from her,” he mutters.

  My eyes widen in surprise. I hope this conversation isn’t going where I think it is. “Silas—”

  “At least with Madison, I know what to expect from her because she’s the same all the time. But you…you act one way and then do shady shit in private. You’re no better than she is,” he says. “Those type of people aren’t the ones I date.”

  “Wh…what are you saying?” I ask, my heart pounding in my chest. He simply shakes his head and walks away without a word.

  “Silas, this was a mistake!” I call out behind him, but he ignores me, simply pushing the workroom door open and disappearing through it.

  A single tear rolls down my cheek. And just like that, everything has been destroyed.

  Again.

  1:12 p.m.

  My apartment building

  Everything is in complete chaos in my building when I arrive. Mrs. Keller is standing outside her apartment door surrounded by suitcases, pounding her fists against the door.

  “Honey, please, let’s talk about this! I don’t even want to be with him!” she cried, hitting the door some more. “Please open the door so we can talk!”

  On a good day, I would’ve lingered around to see how this plays out. It was all inevitable, really. From the last few conversations I’d walked up on, I knew it was a matter of time before shit hit the fan for her. But now I don’t care. How can I worry about someone else’s drama when my own is unfolding before my eyes?

  I trudge up to my floor, stopping when I see Taylor coming out of her apartment. She glances my direction and scowls, but doesn’t say anything to me.

  “What’s wrong, Taylor?” I ask.

  She looks around and then points to herself. “Oh, I’m surprised you know my actual name since all you’ve managed to call me in your blog is a red-haired bimbo,” she spits. “After all I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?”

  “I didn’t mean any of that—”

  “I get you into parties and try to help you with your work and you of all people stab me in the back. You’re a real piece of work, Blake,” she says and storms down the stairs. I watch her until I can no longer see her before finally entering my apartment.

  “I’m sorry,” I say out loud, but she’s already gone.

  Milo runs over to greet me when I enter the apartment. I pick him up and carry him to the couch, settling down in the corner of it as tears start to fall. I’ve really fucked up this time. What’s going to happen to Shayla now? Will she and Caesar work things out or have I doomed them as well? Hell, what will happen between Silas and me? Are we even still together after what he said? Ugh. What the hell am I going to do?

  I pick up my phone to call…who? Who do you call when you no longer have anyone? I can’t call my mom. I’m not in the mood to hear her tell me “I told you so” or “this wouldn’t have happened if you went to nursing school” lectures. My old friends back home hate me and now my new friends are gone.

  Finding Shayla’s number, I send her a quick message.

  Blake: I’m so so so sorry for what’s happened. I never meant for any of this to happen as it did.

  I hit send and stretch out across the couch, staring at the ceiling. Now that the shit has hit the fan, there’s only one question left at the end of this.

  What now?

  2:45 p.m.

  On the couch

  “Hello?” my mom answers after several rings.

  “Hey mom,” I say, wiping my eyes. Although I didn’t want to hear the lectures I know are coming, I really need someone.

  “Blake? What’s going on? Are you okay?” she asks, concern filling her voice.

  I sniff. “No. I made a mistake and now bad things have happened.”

  “What happened?” she asks. When I don’t respond, she sighs on the other line. “Blake, wasn’t the first time a big enough lesson to learn? How’d it happen this time?”

  “A girl who hates me at my job found out about my private blog and posted it to the magazine website,” I confess. “People may lose their jobs and I don’t know what to do to fix this.”

  “You’ve outdone yourself this time,” she says with an exaggerated sigh. “I don’t know what to tell you. All I can advise is that you find a way to make it right.”

  “But how?”

  “You’ll have to figure that out on your own, Blake. How many lives do you have to ruin and how many friends do you have to lose in order for you to see this isn’t for you? You’re so much better than this, but you’re also smart. I know you can figure this out,” she says.

  I sigh and scratch Milo behind the ears. This conversation isn’t helpful in the slightest, but I didn’t have high expectations to start with. It’s better than what I originally thought she’d say, so I’ll take it. “Okay then,” I say.

  “I love you. I just want what’s best for you. If you have to come back home, you’re more than welcome to.”

  “I love you too and thanks. Tell dad I love him, too.”

  “I will, dear. I’ll talk to you soon,” she says and hangs up. I toss my phone on the pillow next to me with a sigh. How in the actual fuck am I going to fix this?

  Grabbing a notebook and pen from under my coffee table, I click the pen and start writing.

  Ways I Can Help My friends

  1.

  I tap the pen on my chin for a few moments and then ideas start to flow. I don’t know if any of this will work, but it damn sure doesn’t hurt to at least try.

  3:50 p.m.

  Still on the couch

  #HotTopicDrama is now a trending topic on Twitter. All the tweets filled with people calling me names makes me cringe as I scroll through them. People I’ve never met before are calling me a lousy friend, a backstabber, a blabber mouth. Even Paris, who slapped me at the fashion show, chimed in, calling me a “shitty writer with nothing better to do than to write about other people.” I can only imagin
e the laugh that Madicunt is having at this scenario. In the end, she won.

  With a sigh, I open the Tumblr app on my iPad and look at the blog. The first thing I could do to help my friends is to delete the blog altogether. In a world full of screenshots, I already know that deleting it won’t mean that everything will be completely gone, but it’ll be a start. I go through my settings and deactivate the blog, logging out of the app, and deleting it afterwards.

  I wish cleaning up the rest of this mess was this easy.

  Fuck my entire life with a cactus.

  6:23 p.m.

  Still on the couch

  I’ve spent the last hour deleting media requests from my email. Ever since the drama happened, all types of tabloid magazines and video blogs are contacting me to make a statement about my blog and to divulge in the things I wrote about. I have no desire to go on anyone’s talk show or to have any kind of interview to talk about this. I just want it to go away. This must be what it feels like to have a tabloid break a story out on you and to be bombarded with other media types to talk about it. I can’t even mourn my lost friendships in peace because everyone else wants to exploit it.

  That realization alone nearly knocks the wind out of me. At the end of the day, these people are human, too, just like I am. They say that being in the tabloids comes with the territory of being famous, but does it mean that you’re not entitled to any kind of privacy as a human being? That you can’t be inside your house without people standing outside waiting to take your picture? Or that you can’t have a wild night out with your friends without the media turning it into a spectacle? Or how about how you can’t even have a baby without different outlets of the media bidding on who gets the first pictures, something that should be sacred to the family?

  I’m not even famous and I don’t like all the attention this situation has drawn. Another thing I don’t like is how when I spoke to everyone, they all said the same thing. They thought I was better than this. Maybe I’m not as great of a person as I think I am. Maybe I’m just good at pretending. Hell, in a very subtle way, Silas called me fake.