Archaic

by Regan Ure

  I had too much on my mind. After all I'd been through today, I could feel a sense of panic rising within me. I've escaped from Mason and I'm safe now, and Anne is away, I thought. I kept trying to think of calming thoughts, but nothing stemmed the unbridled rise of panic inside and I could feel my lungs start to restrict.

  Trying to stop my panic from smothering me from the inside, I took a deep breath and held it before releasing it. After a few more breaths, the panic began to subside.

  Neve could see what was happening.

  "Are you okay?" she asked, touching a hand to my arm. I gave her a weak smile before nodding.

  "I'm sorry," I said, feeling so weak. They all seemed to be calm in these stressful situations and I was struggling not to have a full-blown panic attack.

  "You have nothing to be sorry for," she assured me. "You've been handling all of this really well."

  "Thanks."

  She patted my arm and gave me a reassuring smile, and then left the kitchen.

  It didn't feel like I was handling this whole situation very well. I let out an unsteady breath, trying to keep my fear at bay: the fear that, no matter what Jared and the Archaic did, I was still going to become like Mason.

  I put my hands up to my face.

  "Hey," a soft voice said and I peered through the gap in my hands to stare at Jared's vibrant green eyes.

  "Hi," I whispered back.

  "You okay?" he asked softly as he leaned closer across the kitchen counter, bringing his face closer to mine.

  "I think so," I said. "It's so much to try to cope with."

  I let out a deep breath feeling the warmth of my breath against my fingers.

  "I know, Ava, but we will get through this. I will find a way to save you," he promised me fiercely as he gently pulled my hands away from my face. "I was so scared when I went to meet you outside your classroom and you never came out."

  He paused for a few moments. I saw the fear he'd felt in his eyes.

  "I was frantic. We searched the school, but we couldn't find you. So I raced home to see if I could get a signal from the tracker on your phone. I prayed that you still had your phone on you...I can't think of what would have happened if you hadn't had it." He leaned his forehead to mine as his hands held mine. I understood. I'd felt those same desperate thoughts. The thought of never seeing him again was too much to handle.

  "I just remembered something else," I whispered to him. I don't know why I hadn't remembered it earlier.

  "What do you remember?" Jared prompted as he pulled away.

  "Mason said the altering was more painful than the initial charge of energy that initiates the change," I whispered.

  So even if they did find out how to alter the change, it would still be much more painful. I couldn't comprehend that there could be pain worse than that.

  "Did he say why the altering was more painful?" he questioned gently.

  I tried to remember back to my conversation with Mason.

  "He said something about it being replaced. I'm not sure what needed to be replaced, but he did say I couldn't survive without the energy. He also said it wasn't complicated."

  Jared looked thoughtful for a while. It was like a riddle that needed to be solved. Maybe that was why Mason hadn't explained it further--so that if I escaped, I wouldn't be able to tell the Archaic how to alter the change and potentially save myself. I wasn't sure what the alternative was, but I was sure it was better than being a Hue.

  "I'll need to talk to the others and find out if they have any ideas," he said. "At least we have more to go on now than we did before."

  I tried to stifle a yawn.

  "You need to rest," he insisted as he helped me up from the kitchen chair. I was feeling very tired all of a sudden, and my knees started to buckle.

  "I'm always feeling so tired," I mumbled.

  "I think it's part of the changes going on inside your body," he said. Maybe he was right.

  He picked me up effortlessly and carried me upstairs to a bedroom. I didn't know whose bedroom it was and at this point I didn't really care; as long as I had a bed, I was happy.

  Jared laid me gently on the bed. It was only then that I realized I was covered in dirt from hiding in the forest.

  "But I'm filthy," I protested as I tried to climb off the bed.

  "It doesn't matter. The linen can be washed. Besides, you won't be able to stay awake long enough to have a shower and we need to get you a change of clothes," he insisted as he pushed me back down onto the bed. "Don't worry. You need to sleep," he insisted.

  He removed my sneakers and pulled a comforter over me. He pulled the dark blue curtains closed to darken the room.

  "I need to go and talk to the others while you sleep." I nodded my head as I burrowed deeper into the comfortable pillow. It felt like heaven.

  "I'm going to send Neve in to watch you, okay?" he whispered gently as my eyes closed. I felt him tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear. I felt him kiss my forehead.

  "I won't be long," he whispered.

  "Mmm..." was my only response as I felt myself drift off to sleep. The events from the past few hours had drained me to the point of exhaustion.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  When I woke up, I felt refreshed, but I seriously needed a shower. I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep for. Sitting up I pushed the comforter off of myself. It was really dirty. I felt a pang of guilt.

  "Hey, you're awake," I heard Neve say from a chair positioned by the door. I remembered that Jared had told me that she would keep an eye on me--just in case I had an emotionless episode and decided to leave.

  "Hey," I said before I rubbed my eyes.

  "Do you want to take a shower?" she asked gently as she rose from the chair and moved it back to the desk on the other side of the room.

  "Yes. That would be great," I replied. I would definitely feel better once I had a shower.

  "Here are some of your clothes," she said, pointing to my duffel bag that was next to the desk. "Catherine went to pick up some of your clothes for you."

  "Thanks."

  I climbed out of the bed and started to pick out a set of clothes. Catherine had packed a toiletry bag with everything I needed. I would have to thank her.

  "There are spare towels in the guest bathroom," Neve informed me.

  "Thanks. I'm really sorry about getting the linen dirty," I apologized to her.

  "Don't worry about it. It can all be cleaned easily." She handed me my phone. "You need to call Anne so that she doesn't worry," she instructed me.

  I quickly dialed her number.

  "Hi, sweetheart," Anne greeted. A warmth flooded through me at the sound of her voice.

  "Hi," I greeted back.

  "Sorry I had to leave you a note, but I had to leave first thing on Monday. I had a few new clients who urgently wanted to see me," she apologized.

  "Don't worry about it."

  "I'm so busy on this side. I'll try and give you a call later, but if I don't get a chance I'll call you in the morning, okay?" She sounded a little stressed.

  "Everything's fine here. Don't worry about it, I'll talk to you tomorrow," I said.

  "Okay. I love you."

  "I love you too." I disconnected the call and put my phone down beside the bed.

  "Where's the bathroom?" I asked as I finally got all the things I needed for my shower.

  "I'll show you. The windows have been secured and I'll be outside if you need anything."

  I followed her out of the room and down the passage to a door a little farther down on the right side.

  "Thanks." I closed the door and started to undress. Inside the shower, I washed my hair and soaped my body. I felt like a new person once I was done. I got out of the shower and dried myself before getting dressed.

  I wanted to find out what Jared and the other Archaic had come up with while I was asleep before I changed and started another emotionless episode. When I opened the door, Neve, true to her word, was waiting outside
for me. She walked with me back to the bedroom to put my stuff away.

  "Where is everyone?" I asked her as I finished putting my stuff back into my duffel bag.

  "They're downstairs in the living room," she answered. "Come, I'll show you."

  I followed her downstairs and into the living room. Jared was on his feet and in front of me, holding both of my hands in his as soon as I entered the room behind Neve.

  "How are you feeling?" he asked with obvious concern, his eyes searching my features.

  "I'm fine, and at least I smell better than before," I remarked, and he smiled. His smile lightened my heart.

  "Come and sit down," he insisted as he pushed me toward an empty seat next to him on a sofa. I scanned the room. It was only the younger Archaic who were seated around us.

  "We've come up with something," Jared explained to me. There was an undercurrent of excitement in his voice. "Obviously we can't be one hundred percent sure that it's the correct process for altering the change."

  I nodded my head and continued to listen to him. I didn't want to build up hope, but it was hard when there might be a chance to change what was happening to me.

  "From the wording Mason used to explain everything about the change to you, we think we've figured out how to perform the altering. He used the word replace?" he asked.

  I nodded. "He said it couldn't be reversed, but only altered, and he specifically used the word 'replace.'" I nodded my head again. I had no idea where he was going with this.

  "Replace would be to take out something and put something else in its place," he explained. I still had no idea what he was on about, and I gave him a blank look.

  "After mentioning the word replace, he told you that you can't live without the energy?" he questioned me.

  "Yes."

  Jared was still looking so hopeful.

  "I don't understand. What would we replace the energy with?" I questioned. I was clearly the only one in this conversation who didn't have a clue what he was getting at.

  "You have Hue energy inside of you. His energy initiated the change. Therefore the energy keeping you alive is Hue energy, and that's why we believe the closer you get to the change becoming final, the more Hue-like you become."

  It made sense. My hope inflated and for the first time I didn't feel the weight of my future on my shoulders.

  "We think that when Mason said it needed to be replaced, he was talking about draining the Hue energy and replacing it with the only other energy that can keep you alive. Archaic energy," explained Jared while watching me closely.

  Feeling excited and relieved at the same time, I smiled and threw my arms around Jared, hugging him tight. He hugged me back and when he pulled away from me, his lips tipped upward in a smile.

  We'd found a possible way out of my death sentence.

  "That's great!" I said, feeling my excitement grow. It sounded plausible.

  The only dampening factor was the thought of the pain. My smile waned at the thought of how much I would have to endure. Everyone's eyes were on me.

  "So if you replace Hue energy with Archaic energy, does that mean...I will become more like you?" I asked Jared.

  "We think so," he answered as he squeezed my hand. There was hope in his eyes.

  "Does it mean that I will share energy like I have with Mason?" I had to ask the question.

  "It might, so we'll use my energy," he insisted. He leaned closer to me and whispered so that the others couldn't hear him. "I don't want you to be connected with anyone else."

  I smiled. There was no one I would rather be connected to.

  "How much energy do you have to drain before it can be replaced with the Archaic energy?" Somehow I knew this was going to be the complicated piece of the whole process.

  Jared stopped smiling. Everyone around us looked serious as well as they continued to watch Jared. This was not a good sign at all.

  "From what we've been able to figure out, we think you will have to be drained to the brink of death. Only then will your body be able to absorb the new energy."

  I had stopped smiling at this point. To the brink of death? I'd nearly died once already, and I didn't want to go through that again. It had been horrible.

  Hadn't I been through enough already? I was beginning to feel despondent. Why did it always have to be life and death? Couldn't it be simple! Like, here, take this little green pill, and magically you've mutated. Or here is a little white pill, and now you're a good Archaic instead of a psychopathic monster Hue. I think I much preferred the little green men from the movies.

  Jared continued to watch my reaction.

  "What do you want me to say?" I asked him quietly. It was hard to look at him with the hope that I'd felt earlier. I saw the helplessness in his face. I wanted to rant and rave and throw a tantrum like a child, to cry about how unfair all of this was. I didn't want to do it.

  There wasn't any point, though, because it wouldn't change anything. I only had two options.

  Option number one involved some pain. I wouldn't have to do anything and in a few days' time I would complete the change and become a synthetic Hue. Jared had promised me that wouldn't happen. He'd promised me that if I completed the change and became a Hue, he would end my life for me. I didn't want to live if I was going to be a monster.

  Option number two involved lots of pain. I shuddered at the thought; to alter the change and possibly die in the process to replace the Hue energy with Archaic energy would be unbelievably painful.

  There isn't really a choice, is there? I would go with option number two. I didn't know if I would even survive the draining of the energy, never mind the pain of the Hue energy being replaced by Archaic energy.

  "I need a moment," I whispered as I pulled my hand out of Jared's and stood up and walked out of the room.

  Feeling despondent I walked up the stairs and into the bedroom I'd slept in. I didn't bother closing the door because I knew Jared wouldn't leave me alone for long. I leaned against the wall and slid down. I sat there with my arms around my knees and with my chin resting on top of them.

  I wanted to close my eyes and wish all of this away. The only thing I didn't want to let go of was Jared. He was the only good thing in this whole mess. I took a deep breath and exhaled it.

  It wasn't long before I heard someone enter the bedroom. I had a pretty good idea of who it was, so I didn't bother to look up. I just continued to stare at the threads of the carpet. There was something comforting in studying something so simple.

  He came and sat down next to me. I waited for him to say something, but he just sat quietly next to me. I didn't want to talk at that moment, so, side by side, we sat in silence. We must have sat there for half an hour without a word being spoken. Just for a few minutes, I wanted to forget about everything and I wanted to stop thinking about what I would have to put myself through. I wasn't sure if I was brave enough to do it. I was only seventeen and I was scared.

  I felt his arm wrap around me as he tried to comfort me. He understood that I was scared, and I let him tuck me into his side.

  "I wish there were an easier way," he said. He sounded stressed and tired. I looked up at him and his eyes met mine.

  "I've discovered nothing is easy when it comes to all this stuff," I said as I continued to look into his beautiful green eyes. He leaned closer and kissed me.

  Our kissing increased in intensity. He pulled away long enough to get up and pull me up to my feet. Then I was back in his arms, and his lips covered mine. It felt so right. There was no guarantee I would survive the altering and I wanted to grab every moment of living I still had.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck. I threaded my hands though his hair as I opened my mouth and felt his tongue tangle with mine. He held me up with his arms wrapped around my waist. He backed me up until I felt the bed up against the back of my knees.

  Gently, he pushed me back and I lay on the bed. He followed, staying above me. His lips trailed along my cheek and then down my neck. I n
eeded more of him. I clung desperately to him as he continued to make my body tingle all over. He settled between my open legs and he pulled my hands above my head as his lips covered mine.

  I just wanted to feel what was happening between us, and to forget about the pain that lay ahead.

  All of a sudden, I began to feel weird. Not now! was all I managed to think before my emotions began to slip away and the familiar numbness set in. Every part of my body not covered by clothes that touched Jared's skin began to burn and I pushed him away. He lifted his head and looked confused at my change of behavior. I pushed him harder as I tried to get away from him.

  Once he realized why I was pushing him away, he backed off completely. He held his hands up as he moved off the bed and stood at the foot of it. I backed up completely, until my back was pressed up against the headboard. My breathing was still erratic and so was Jared's as he stood in front of me.

  The burning need for Mason was as strong as ever. I needed to go to him, but I wasn't sure how I was going to do that. Jared wasn't going to let me go. He cared too much about the human in me to let me go. The need inside me was stronger than before. Maybe it was because I was getting closer to completing the change. I felt like I was going to die from the pain if I didn't get to Mason.

  "I need to go," I said to Jared. The determined look on his face told me that he wasn't going to let that happen.

  "I can't let you go, Ava." He stood upright. Standing at the foot of the bed was a powerful leader of the Archaic. I wasn't strong enough to take him on. I knew I didn't stand a chance against him, but I also knew he wouldn't hurt me because he cared about me--the human me.

  There had to be a way to use his emotion for me against him. Then I had an idea.

  It might work.

  At this point the pain was increasing and I was propelled into action. I glanced to the side table next to the bed. There was nothing there that I could use. I scanned the room. I needed to find something to inflict pain. Then I spotted what I needed on the desk behind Jared. I had to get around him to get to it, though.

  I slowly climbed off the bed, my eyes fixed on Jared. He backed away slowly as I got closer. He knew his touch hurt me, so he was making sure he kept his distance. I stepped closer to the desk. There was a picture frame on the desk and I needed to get to it.