A Mother's Secret

by Amy Clipston

  Carolyn turned the idea over in her mind, and excitement filled her. Not only could she use the extra money to give to her parents, but she also was enticed by the opportunity to work on Joshua’s farm and spend more time with him.

  “I like the idea,” she finally said. “I could talk to Amos and Sarah Ann and see if they would let Rosemary help me.”

  “Fantastic!” Joshua’s expression brightened. “If you’re certain, then I can pick up seeds today. I’ll stop by Amishtown General Store. You just tell me what you’d like me to pick up.”

  “Oh, I should give you money.” She reached for her wallet in her apron pocket.

  “No, that’s not necessary.” He reached out as if to stop her from retrieving her money. When his hand brushed hers, the heat of his skin sent her senses spinning. “I’ll pay for the seeds.”

  “That’s not right,” she disagreed while trying to ignore how much she’d enjoyed the brief contact of his skin. “If we’re going to split the profits, then I should help pay for the seeds.”

  “This is my idea, so I should pay. Just let me know what you’d like me to get.”

  “Since spring is here, why don’t you get cucumbers, broccoli, and lettuce?” she suggested.

  “I’ll do that.” He smiled. “Danki, Carolyn.”

  Carolyn glanced over her shoulder and spotted her supervisor, Gregg, standing by the reception desk. “I need to go, but I can come over tomorrow and start on the garden. And I’m going to ask if Amos and Sarah Ann will let me bring my niece, Rosemary, to help.”

  “I look forward to it.” He nodded and then put on his straw hat.

  Carolyn said good-bye and then watched him walk outside and climb into a waiting pickup truck. She couldn’t wait to start working on the garden—their garden.

  Joshua grinned with delight as he filled a basket with seeds. He’d prayed that Carolyn would agree to manage his garden, but he’d been worried she’d say no. Not only had she agreed, but she offered to bring her niece over to help. The garden would be a wonderful success for certain, and he would have the opportunity to enjoy her company more often.

  He paid for the seeds and walked toward the exit. As he pulled the door open, he nearly walked into his niece Amanda.

  “Onkel Josh?” she asked, her pretty face bright with a warm smile.

  “Amanda!” he exclaimed. “It’s so gut to see you. Wie geht’s?”

  They moved to the side to allow other customers to pass by.

  “I’m doing great. College is amazing. My classes are tough, but I’m loving it.” She pushed her long blonde braid over her shoulder. She wore blue jeans and a long-sleeve pink blouse. Although it was strange to see her in Englisher clothes, he still recognized his sweet-natured niece. “How are you?”

  “I’m doing fine. The farm is busy. I have a new employee. Huckleberry misses Andrew. You two need to come by to visit sometime.” His thoughts turned to Hannah. “How’s your mamm?”

  “She’s doing really well.” Amanda’s smile faded a bit. “But she really misses Lily.”

  “Lily is still angry?”

  Amanda nodded. “Ya, she is. I’ve tried to talk to her, and I’ve begged her to give Mamm a chance. So far it hasn’t worked. She refuses to accept Mamm’s decision to marry Trey and leave the community. She won’t come over to visit us. Mamm is heartbroken.”

  Joshua shook his head, and sympathy flooded him. “I’m sorry to hear that. I’m certain she misses the close relationship they had. Please tell Hannah I’m thinking of her.”

  “Why don’t you tell her yourself?” Amanda asked.

  “Excuse me?” Joshua was stunned to hear Amanda say something so bold. He wondered if that English college had changed his once respectful niece.

  “I didn’t mean to sound so rude.” Amanda pointed toward a car in the parking lot. “I meant to say that Mamm is sitting in my car over there. It’s the blue Ford. Why don’t you go talk to her?”

  “Oh.” Joshua lifted the bag of seeds and turned toward the small blue sedan. He immediately spotted Hannah sitting in the front passenger seat. For the first time since she’d abandoned the farm, he realized his broken heart was healed and he was ready to be her friend.

  “I’m certain she’d love to talk to you.” Amanda prodded him with a gentle nudge.

  Joshua looked down at his niece. “Ya, I think I need to speak with her too.”

  “Go on.” Amanda pointed toward the car. “I need to run in and get a few things for her.”

  “It was gut seeing you, Amanda. Please tell Andrew that Huckleberry and I miss him.”

  Amanda smiled. “I will.”

  Joshua crossed the parking lot and approached the car as Hannah climbed out. “Hi, Hannah.”

  “Joshua.” Hannah’s expression was tentative. Her prayer covering was missing, her red hair was arranged in a bun, and she was clad in a denim dress. “You look well.”

  “You do too.” He nodded toward the car. “I see Amanda is driving.”

  “Ya.” Hannah smiled. “She’s studying biology, and she’s driving like an Englisher. But she’s still my sweet Amanda.”

  “I’m glad she’s doing well.” He set his bag on the hood of the car. “How’s Andrew?”

  “He’s fine. He loves school. He’s made a lot of new friends.” She ran her fingers over the car door. “He talks about the farm a lot.”

  “I was telling Amanda that they should both come by to see Huckleberry. You should come by too, and bring Trey.”

  “Ya?” She looked surprised.

  “Ya, of course.” It felt strange to invite Hannah and her new husband over, but the invitation was genuine. He was ready to accept her new life and her happiness. “How is your bed-and-breakfast?”

  “It’s going well. We’ve stayed busy with visitors. How’s the farm?”

  “It’s busy also. Amanda told me that you haven’t been able to fix things with Lily.”

  Hannah’s expression clouded as she shook her head.

  “I’m sorry to hear that. I hope that God helps her forgive you.”

  “Thank you.”

  He held up the bag. “I’m getting ready to work on the garden.”

  “Oh yeah?” Her smile was back. “You’re going to plant some vegetables?”

  “Actually a friend is going to garden for me.” His smile deepened.

  “That’s gut.” She gestured toward the store. “Amanda is picking up some seeds for me. You know I can’t shop in there since I’m shunned.”

  He nodded. “It was gut seeing you. I better get back to the farm.”

  “Take care, Josh.” She reached her arm out toward him, and he shook her hand.

  “You too.” As Joshua made his way back to the pickup truck, he felt a weight lift from his shoulders. He was thankful the Lord had helped him to finally release his hurt and anger toward Hannah. He was ready to let someone new into his heart, and he couldn’t wait to see what the Lord had in store for his future.

  Carolyn found Amos and Sarah Ann walking from the barn toward the house. She’d spent most of the day thinking about Joshua’s garden partnership proposal, and she was eager to ask Amos and Sarah Ann if Rosemary could help her. Having Rosemary’s assistance would not only be fun but also make the work go faster and mean that she and Joshua would not be inappropriately alone at the farm.

  “Wie geht’s,” Carolyn said as she approached them. “I wanted to discuss something with you. I’ve been thinking about this all day long. How would you feel about Rosemary working on a project with me?”

  “What type of project?” Amos asked as he folded his arms over his chest.

  Carolyn explained Joshua’s idea about the garden. Her brother’s expression remained stoic while Sarah Ann nodded with interest.

  When Carolyn finished her explanation, Sarah Ann smiled. “I think it’s a gut idea. Rosemary is eager to make a contribution to the family, and this would be the perfect job.”

  Amos continued to frown. “I don’t kno
w. Doesn’t that bu that she spoke to at the barn raising work at the Glick farm?”

  Carolyn’s excitement faded. “Ya, he does, but Rosemary will be with me. She will be chaperoned. She will be there to work, not socialize.”

  Sarah Ann sighed with exasperation. “Amos, we’ve discussed this. It’s time for you to trust Rosemary. She’s a smart maedel, and Carolyn won’t let anything inappropriate happen. Please, Amos. Let Rosemary do this. Let’s give her some responsibility and let her prove how mature she is.”

  “I’ll let her go, but there will be rules,” Amos said. “Sarah Ann and I will discuss what time she can go and when she needs to be home.”

  Carolyn smiled. “That sounds perfect. We’ll discuss the schedule tomorrow morning before we go.” She said good night and then headed into the house. She couldn’t wait to get to Joshua’s farm and start on their garden.

  Rosemary stood in the doorway to Carolyn’s kitchen. “Aenti Carolyn, I’m so excited! We’re going to work at Joshua’s farm.”

  Carolyn looked over from the sink where she was washing the breakfast dishes and raised her eyebrows. “I knew you’d be excited. I’m happy we can work on the project together.”

  “Are you ready to go?” Rosemary stepped into the kitchen and wrung her hands together. “I can’t wait.”

  “I’ll be ready in a few minutes. I’m just finishing cleaning up after breakfast.”

  “I can’t wait to see Danny.” Rosemary picked up a dish towel and began drying dishes. “I miss him. I haven’t seen him since youth group Sunday night.”

  Carolyn frowned. “Ach, you have to remember that he’s nineteen, and you’re only sixteen. You shouldn’t get so wrapped up in him. You’re too young to date, and he’s too old for you. Believe me, I know what the consequences can be.”

  “I know that, but I can’t help how I feel.” Rosemary placed a stack of dry dishes in the cabinet. “I want to be his friend.”

  “Just be careful. You can be his friend, but keep some distance between you and him.”

  “I’ll try.” Rosemary’s expression brightened. “I have a great idea! We can make lunch and take it over there for everyone. We can eat at the picnic table by the porch.”

  Carolyn considered the idea. If they ate outside, then no one would say that they were behaving inappropriately. After all, they would have to eat lunch, so they might as well eat together and enjoy the spring weather. “I think that’s a nice idea.”

  “Great! I’ll go get lunch together. I’ll meet you outside.” Rosemary started for the door, but then she suddenly stopped, turned around, and hugged Carolyn. “Danki for asking me to work on the garden with you.” She then rushed out before Carolyn could respond.

  Carolyn laughed and shook her head as her niece disappeared.

  An hour later, Rosemary sat next to Carolyn and held a large picnic basket on her lap as they made their way to Joshua’s farm.

  “We’re going to have so much fun working on the garden,” Rosemary said for probably the twentieth time. “I know we’re there to work, but it will be fun to see Danny too. I mean, even though we’re only friends,” she added quickly.

  “We’ll have a lot of fun.”

  “Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Rosemary angled her body toward Carolyn. “Do you remember when we were at the barn raising a few weeks ago?”

  “Ya, of course I do.”

  “I talked to Emma, and she mentioned that her dat wanted to date you. She was so excited. She said that if you married her dat then she and I would be family. She’s so sweet. I would love to be her cousin. So are you going to marry Saul?”

  Carolyn swallowed a groan. She didn’t want to lie to her niece, but she also didn’t want to hurt Emma in the process of telling the truth.

  “Did I say something wrong?” Rosemary frowned. “I’m sorry if I did.”

  “No, no. You haven’t said anything wrong. It’s just complicated.” Carolyn glanced toward Rosemary. “Saul and I are getting to know each other right now. He hasn’t asked me to marry him. If he did, I’d need to consider not only how it would affect my life, but also how it would affect Ben’s.”

  “Oh. Right.” Rosemary gnawed on her lip. “That makes sense.”

  “Please don’t tell Emma what I said, okay? I don’t want to hurt her feelings or make her think I don’t like her. I like her a lot, but I need to figure out what’s best for Ben and me.”

  “I understand.” Rosemary changed the subject and talked about Daniel for the rest of their ride to the farm.

  When they arrived, Benjamin and Daniel came out of the barn and walked over to meet them.

  “We brought you lunch.” Rosemary held up the basket as she stood in front of Daniel. “We can all eat together at the picnic table later.”

  “Danki. I’ll have to leave soon after lunch today. I need to help mei daadi finish a project at his haus.” Daniel reached for the basket. “Let me carry that for you.”

  Rosemary turned to Carolyn. “I’m going to start weeding.”

  “Okay,” Carolyn said. “I’ll be there in a few minutes. I need to talk to Josh and get the seeds.”

  Rosemary and Daniel started toward the house.

  “How’s your day going?” Carolyn asked Benjamin.

  “Gut.” He pointed toward the stable. “Josh has a mare in labor right now. She keeps stopping and starting the contractions. Josh is with her.”

  “Oh.” Carolyn looked toward the stable. “I’m going to let him know we’re here and ready to work on the garden.”

  “Maybe you can convince him to leave the mare for a little while.” Benjamin frowned. “I’ve been telling him to walk away and give her some space, but he’s really worried about her. He loves his horses.”

  The comment warmed Carolyn’s heart. “That’s sweet.”

  Benjamin pointed toward the large barn. “I’ll go find the rake, watering can, and the other supplies you’ll need.”

  “Danki, Ben.” Carolyn padded toward the stable and found Joshua in the back, standing by a stall where a horse paced back and forth. “Hi.”

  Joshua looked over his shoulder and smiled. “Hi. I’m glad you made it.”

  “I promised you I’d come.” She crossed her arms over her apron. “Did you think I wouldn’t keep my promise?”

  He leaned against the stall and grinned. “No, I knew you’d keep it. Did Rosemary come too?”

  “Ya, she did. She insisted that we bring lunch for everyone. She couldn’t wait to get here.” Carolyn looked at the mare to avoid the way his smile caused her pulse to race. “It looks like she’s almost ready to have her boppli.”

  “I think it’s going to be soon.” He gestured toward her. “You can see Daisy’s milk is ready. That’s one of the signs that it’s almost time.”

  Carolyn watched the horse pace. “She looks uncomfortable. Poor thing.”

  “I hope it’s over for her today.” He turned toward her. “So, you say you brought lunch?”

  “Ya, but it was Rosemary’s idea.”

  “Sure it was. You just couldn’t wait to see me again,” he teased.

  “Why would I want to see you?” she countered with a smile.

  “I was just asking myself the same question.” His expression became tender, and he suddenly reached down and pushed back a wisp of her hair that had fallen loose from beneath her prayer covering.

  The gentle touch of his fingertips caught her off guard. Her mouth dried, and she had to work against her raging emotions to regain her composure.

  “I was wondering where the seeds were,” she said, her words coming out in a rush. “Ben went to the barn to get the tools we’ll need to start weeding and planting.”

  “Oh, right. You need the seeds.” Joshua started for the door. “I put them in the kitchen. I’ll run in and get them for you.”

  Carolyn followed Joshua to the house and waited on the porch. Thoughts of his tender touch continued to assault her mind while she stared at the ba
ck door. He soon returned and held out the bag of seed packets to her. She gave him a quick nod, took the bag of seeds, and then moved to the garden, where Rosemary was already crouched and filling a bucket with weeds.

  Carolyn tried to engross herself in the garden, but her mind kept slipping back to the memory of Joshua’s fingers on her cheek. The intimacy of his gesture confused her. Did he want to be more than friends? If so, then what would happen when he found out the truth about Benjamin?

  “Are you all right, Aenti?” Rosemary asked while she pulled another handful of bright green weeds.

  “Ya,” Carolyn said as she crouched beside her. “It’s a schee day, ya?”

  “Ya, it is.”

  By noon, Carolyn’s back was sore, and her stomach was growling. She and Rosemary served lunch to the men at the picnic table. After lunch, Daniel left to help his grandfather with a project, Benjamin and Joshua returned to the stables, and Carolyn and Rosemary continued working in the garden for the remainder of the afternoon.

  “It looks like it might rain.” Carolyn brushed the back of her hand over her chin as she looked up at the large gray clouds clogging the sky. “I wanted to get those seeds planted before we left.”

  “I wonder what time it is.” Rosemary angled her face toward the back porch. “I’ll run into the kitchen and see.”

  Carolyn grabbed another handful of weeds and marveled at how much they’d accomplished in one day. The garden was almost ready to be tilled and then seeded.

  “Aenti.” Rosemary rushed back onto the porch. “It’s after four.”

  “Ach, you’d better go.” Carolyn stood. “It’s almost time to make supper. Your dat will be upset if you’re not home by five. He made it clear that you had to be home on time or you couldn’t help me with the garden.”

  “Fine.” Rosemary frowned. “I’ll pick up the picnic basket.” She disappeared into the house. When Rosemary returned, she and Carolyn headed out to the buggy, and the men were nowhere in sight.

  “I wonder where Ben and Josh went,” Rosemary said as she placed the basket in the buggy.

  “They might be with Daisy.” Carolyn gestured for Rosemary to follow her to the stable. They found Benjamin and Joshua standing by the stall and watching the horse.