by Len Webster
Just as he was about to send another message, the sound of the door opening had him lifting his gaze. Stephanie entered the office, peeked down at her phone before she lowered it and cleared her throat. “My middle name is Élise. I didn’t message you back because I was driving. Your messages make you very needy. I am sore from this morning but the good kind. I will spare you from humiliating yourself by singing Boyz II Men because I unfortunately love you and you don’t need to recruit Dwight. And I’m very sure it would be beautiful. And yes, I remember that you love me. You whispered it several times this morning in bed and when you kissed me goodbye.”
“Took you long enough to answer me.” Julian set his phone down, placed his elbows on the desk, and rested his chin in the palm of his hands. “You’re missing the part where I said you love me.”
Stephanie slid her phone into the pocket of her black jeans and swept her long, blonde hair from her shoulders to her back. “Julian.”
“Yes, Blondie?”
“Aren’t you getting sick of that word? Won’t you get tired of hearing it from me?” she asked in a small, worried voice.
“Stephanie.”
“Yes, Julian?”
He smiled at her and rose from his chair. “Come take that walk with me.”
“On one condition.”
Julian made his way towards her. When he was close to her, he took her hand, brought her knuckles to his lips, and kissed each one. “And what’s your condition?”
Stephanie splayed her fingers on his chest. Her left palm rested over his heart. “You promise that you will never get tired of loving me. I’m in too deep, and I think I’m madly in love with the way you tell me you love me. Addicted, even.”
Thankful that it was Friday and most of the senior executives weren’t in, Julian’s hands tangled in her hair as he brought his lips to her forehead. “Never gonna get tired of you or of telling you that I love you. I don’t believe that’s even possible. We don’t do the impossible here, Stephanie. Not us. Now let’s take that walk. Gotta show you something special. Okay?”
Her beautiful smile spread across her lips, and she nodded. “Okay.”
Julian took in the sight of the Royal Exhibition Building before him. It had been four years since he last saw his mother’s favourite part of the city. His heart ached at the memory of him and her, walking hand in hand until they had stopped, and she had instructed him to admire the building. He had been seven when his mother told him the story of how his parents had met. It hadn’t changed. It was still as beautiful as it had always been. The Florence inspired dome of the building was as awe-inspiring as it had been when he’d been that young boy, clutching his mother’s hand.
“So what are we going to do here?” Stephanie asked.
Julian’s smile widened, and he took her hand. “We’re going to walk, Blondie.”
Little did she know that where they stood was where his parents had met almost thirty years ago. His father had bumped into his mother on a cold autumn’s day. And when he’d first laid eyes on her, his father claimed he’d fallen in love with her eyes. Then he had asked her for one walk. That was it. Plain and simple. One walk around Carlton Gardens. A walk to remember. An afternoon walk that his mother claimed was when she had all but fallen in love with Arthur Moors.
“You must really love this place. I walk past it daily, and I’ve never looked at it the way you do,” Stephanie admitted.
“Well, this is actually where my parents met.”
She faced him with a curious gaze. “Really? How? Tell me?”
Julian brought her hand up to his lips and kissed the back of her hand like he had done back at the office. “First that walk,” he instructed and led Stephanie towards the French fountain.
By the time they had reached the bronzed winged children-featured fountain, Stephanie had snuggled up to him and rested her head on his shoulder. They watched water spurt down to the basin below and Julian exhaled. “My dad was late to class,” he finally said.
Stephanie looked up at him and gave him a soft smile. “Yeah?”
“Yep. He thought going through the gardens would get him there quicker. He was running to catch up with Noel’s dad—all our fathers grew up together—and didn’t see my mother taking a photo of the dome. He crashed into her, and my mother’s camera smashed to bits.”
“Your poor mother,” Stephanie chimed in.
“Nah, she was all right. To my father’s surprise, she laughed it off. He told me that the moment he helped her up and looked into her eyes, he fell in love. He knew he was looking at someone special. Said he wanted a future with her the moment she told him her name. That’s when he didn’t care about class or Noel’s dad. He asked my mother for one walk around the gardens—though he was sure that she’d say no. But she surprised him and said yes. They ended their walk at this fountain and my mother asked if she could see him again. She had this habit of surprising the old man. And that was how they met and fell in love here at Carlton Gardens.”
Stephanie untangled herself from him. Her hands settled on his hips and shifted his body to face her. Then she cupped his face and smiled. “Rob never told me that story before. It’s quite beautiful.”
Wrapping his arms around her, Julian brought her in close. “He doesn’t like talking about Mum. They were close. She’s who got him into rowing. It’s still hard for him.”
She nodded. “I understand.”
“I finally understood what my father meant when he said he fell in love with my mother’s eyes first,” he said in a soft voice and then placed a chaste kiss on her lips. “He saw forever in them. He saw a future. He saw a life. And he saw the love that would unfold. He saw everything in them. Like I saw so much more than everything in yours, Stephanie.”
Her eyes glazed over as she whispered, “Just like I see so much more than everything in yours right now.”
A grin consumed his lips. “Great answer.”
This time Stephanie kissed him lightly. “It’s the truth.”
“Your honesty is beautiful.”
“Your love for me is beautiful, Julian,” she admitted.
“Other way ‘round, Blondie. Your love’s beautiful. Unexplainable and incomparable. I love you, Stephanie Élise Appleton.”
“I love you, too, Julian I-have-no-idea-what-your-middle-name-is Moors.”
Julian grinned. “It’s Overlord. Julian Overlord Moors.”
And then Stephanie burst into the most beautiful, alluring laugh he had ever heard in his life.
True story.
Ten seconds.
I can’t be pregnant.
Nine seconds.
It’s impossible.
Eight seconds.
He never used a condom.
Seven seconds.
I don’t even know where he lives.
Six seconds.
Or if he wants to be a dad.
Five seconds.
I don’t know how to be a mother.
Four seconds.
I’m eighteen.
Three seconds.
I can’t be pregnant.
Two seconds.
I can’t. There’s no way.
One second.
I’m pregnant.
The two blue lines confirmed it. Pregnant. Stevie’s missed period was already an indicator. The home pregnancy test confirmed it. She was pregnant with Julian’s baby. It had been almost five weeks since she’d snuck out of the Thai villa and left him. Contraception was a thought she hadn’t had. All she’d wanted was to feel him and be with him. The repercussion of that one slip-up was the sight of the positive pregnancy test. Stevie clenched her eyelids shut and sunk to the bathroom floor. Sobs escaped. Ugly and painful sobs. Reaching up, she felt around the counter of the sink until the pregnancy test was firmly in her grasp.
Once she had brought it to her lap, Stevie gazed at it through misty eyes. Then she tilted her head back against the porcelain bathtub and blinked the tears away. The one time she had sex an
d she had fallen pregnant. She had known girls much more careless who had unprotected sex regularly but the closest they had had was a scare. Unlike Stevie, she was the real deal. Eighteen and knocked up. The father? Some guy she had met and fallen in love with. No last name. No way to find him. No way to tell him that they had conceived a child together.
As for being a mother, Stevie had no idea what to do. All her life, she had only known of her stepmother’s love. Her own mother, Colette, had traded raising her daughter for the French fashion scene. Stevie wasn’t sure how she was going to show her baby love when her own mother had neglected to show her. Dropping the stick, she let her hands rest against her stomach and then looked down.
“I don’t know what’s in store for us. I don’t know if I can promise you a happy life. But I’ll try my best. For now, we have to keep you a secret until I figure this all out. In time, I’m sure your family will love you.” She tried to reassure her baby as her thumbs caressed her stomach. Then her thumbs stopped their movements and she took a deep breath. “Je le retrouveras, mon petit poussin.”
I’ll find him, my little chick.
“I promise I’ll find your papa. And if he doesn’t love you, it’s okay. I’ll love you for the both of us. But knowing your father, he’d love you. He has the kindest heart known to anyone. Your existence was created with love, and I’ll do everything in me to make sure you feel loved. One day, I’ll give you everything, but right now, I can only give you my love. And I hope you see that this is my everything.”
I forgot what your smile does to me.
I forgot just how beautiful it really was and is.
Stevie’s lips tugged upwards at the thought. After their walk around Carlton Gardens, they returned to Rogers & Co. Julian had gone into the building and collected his work before he met her in the car park and returned to her apartment. She kept her eyes on Julian as he waved his arms about and explained the story of the time he and Noel had wound up drunk and naked on the roof of a snow cabin up in the mountains one year. Then Julian cupped his pecs and started making a juggling motion with his hands, and that was when she burst out laughing.
“It’s not funny, Appleton. Not only did Noel kiss the old woman, but when her husband chased after him, she also started playing with her boobs. I was all sorts of drunk but not even my intoxicated brain can make up that kind of shit,” Julian said and shivered. Then his eyes met hers and he grinned. “Have I ever told you how much I love your laugh?”
Stevie’s heart clenched. One beautiful, soft-spoken question and she was all but a puddle. Her eyes began to well up, and she attempted to blink the moisture away. His smile. His eyes. The way he thought so big and so grand of the world. The way he thought so loving of her. The way he loved her. There was no man out there quite like Julian Moors. And to be on the receiving end of his love was worth every tainted dream she’d endured and worth every ache she would endure for him.
I love him enough to watch him walk away if he chooses to.
The thought brought with it an instant hardening of her heart. Guilt played heavy and she quickly averted his stare and glanced down at her stomach. Years ago, they had conceived a child. The same child she had lost. If circumstances were different, then she’d have an almost three-year-old. They would have an almost three-year-old.
“You doing all right, Stephanie?” Julian asked, concern lacing every inch of his voice. He no longer stood in front of her on the balcony. Instead, he knelt before her, his hands on her hips. The way his thumbs gently pressed into her stomach caused another warming sensation to find a place in her chest.
“I’m okay. Sorry. Keep going with your story,” she urged.
“Nah.” Julian’s hands left her body and he stood up. “My stories aren’t that entertaining. I’d rather spend time doing something else.”
With the tilt of her head, she breathed, “Oh?”
He held out his hand to her. “Yep.”
“Hang on a second.” She stood up from the patio chair and then bit her lip. “Do you still have that coin?”
Julian’s brows met before he reached into his pocket and took out the Thai coin. He gazed at it for a moment then placed it in her hand.
With a deep breath, Stevie placed it on her thumb, ready to flip it but not as ready to tell him the truth. Her heart beat faster. Her heart beat louder. The breaths she made didn’t provide her with oxygen, and she knew she couldn’t do it. “Not like this,” she declared in a small voice.
“Like what?”
“Julian, I have to tell you something.”
He gave her a smile. “Can it wait until after? I’m kind of desperate for you right now.”
“But—”
Julian took the coin and then cupped her face. The metal cooled the surface of her cheek. “I love you, Stephanie. Whatever you have to say won’t ever change that. You never have to be scared. We’ve made it this far, and I’m still going to be in love with you, okay? Every single goddamn day for the rest of my life I’m going to be in love with you.”
“You say the stupidest things,” she whispered as she wrapped her hands around his arms and lowered his lips to hers. The moment his tongue passed her lips and met hers, she could have sworn her knees lost their strength. She held on for dear life as he led her back into the apartment. Their mouths only broke contact for small gasps of air. Hands explored and moans were shared.
When she felt the wood of her bedroom door against her back, Stevie tore her right hand away from Julian’s waist and searched for the door handle. The moment she found it, she opened the door and pulled him inside. Frantic was below par. Desperate was almost the correct word to describe their actions as they undressed. Once they were both naked, Stevie placed her hands on Julian’s hips. She turned him and pushed him on the bed before she crawled on top of him.
It would be so easy to sink down onto him and get high off the feeling of being complete as he stretched her. But that wasn’t what she wanted just yet. First, she wanted to say a few things. She wanted to do a few things. Resting her left hand on the mattress, she propped herself up and used the index finger of her right hand to rest on the very tip of his ‘S’ tattoo. Julian flinched and had sucked in air sharply before he finally, and slowly, let it out.
With her own deep breath, she let her finger gently follow the curves of his tattoo. Back and forth, her finger traced. She felt Julian’s eyes on her as she kept hers on his tattoo.
“I never once thought about removing it,” he confessed in a whisper.
She stopped her finger’s movements and peeked up at him through her lashes. His beautiful blue eyes shone bright with love, and she smiled. “The idea crossed my mind once. But I could never do it. I just wanted to stop hurting, but that ‘J’ gave me more hope than pain.” Stevie bent down and pressed her lips on his tattoo. The approving groan from him had her heart expanding and filling with warmth. Then she pressed her lips against his collarbone, up the length of his neck, his jaw, and then she placed one last kiss just below his ear as she whispered, “I couldn’t remove it because I wanted to remember you. To keep you on my skin. I kept it because I love you.”
Julian grasped her hips and held her in place. “Stephanie, please get on the pill. I need to feel you and make love to you like I did in Thailand,” he said in a heavy and hoarse voice.
When she reached over to the bedside table, his hold on her loosened. Stevie picked up a condom wrapper and ripped it open with her teeth. “Monday. I’ll see my doctor then,” she promised.
“Thank God.” Julian grinned, a sparkle in his eye. He let go of her hips, proceeding to wrap his arms around her back, and sat them up. Stevie straddled him. And then, with a lot of gracefulness, he turned them so that she was on her back and his body covered hers.
Julian took the condom from her and began to roll it down his length. When the protection was on, he settled between her legs. He then ducked his head and kissed her long and sweet.
“Love you,” he mumbled ag
ainst her lips before he gently entered her with a flex of his hips. A slow, delicious burn coursed through her, unnerving her.
With a final hard thrust, he filled her. “God, I love you,” she said in a moan.
He stilled and dropped his face onto her shoulder. She felt the heavy rise and fall of his chest against her breasts. “I know. I feel it in the way I can feel your heart beating in your chest. I know you love me, Stephanie. I don’t doubt it.”
Tears had pooled before they escaped. Stevie closed her eyes and let herself feel every beat her heart made. It didn’t feel broken. It felt strong. It felt wonderful. It finally felt whole.
“It’s yours, Julian. My whole heart is yours.”
She had felt his smile against her neck before he whispered, “Thank you.”
Julian: I can’t believe our weekend together is being ruined by my father wanting us to have lunch together!
Stephanie: Don’t say that. Enjoy lunch with your family.
Julian: You should have come with, Blondie.
Stephanie: Probably not the best idea.
Julian: Because of Rob?
Stephanie: I’m sorry.
Julian: We have to tell him sometime.
Stephanie: I know we do. WE haven’t even figured this all out. You can’t expect him to be okay with us. He spent a year trying to get me to be with him. You’re back in my life less than a month and we’ve had sex. I never even got past kissing him. He’ll be hurt.
Julian: I know he will. We’ve never liked the same woman before, but I’m not going to spare my brother’s feelings. Sorry but I waited four years to be with you. He may have liked you, maybe even felt really strongly about you, but I’m in love with you, Stephanie. Rob would never understand how I feel about you. His feelings don’t come close to my love for you.
Stephanie: Julian Overlord Moors (though I doubt the legitimacy of your middle name), you say such beautiful things. You are so going to get some tonight.
Julian: Because I wasn’t getting some before that message?
Stephanie: Nope.