by Len Webster
Julian: I screw up scrambled eggs once.
Stephanie: It’s not that hard. Seriously. Stop texting and get back to lunch.
Julian: Fine. Guess I’ll listen to Rob talk about his water sports activities. You going to be okay until I get back? Not gonna miss me?
Stephanie: Nope. I’ll actually be relaxed and not have you annoying me. Plus, I’m waiting for Jarred to stop by. He texted that he was bringing some of my things from our parents’ place. I’m having a wonderful time away from you. I bet you’re missing me. And don’t call Rob’s rowing career an activity. The guy is going to be an Olympian, you’ll see.
Julian: What are you? His number one fan or something?
Stephanie: Are you jealous? Don’t be. I’m Julian Moors’ number one fan. His annoyingness makes me weak. Seriously, I’m turning off my phone.
Stephanie: I like you. I leek you. Olive you. I love you.
Julian: You are so getting some tonight.
Stephanie: I know. Aren’t I just lucky?
He laughed at her message. Then he waited a few moments before he messaged her again.
Julian: I love you, Stephanie Élise Appleton.
When he pressed send, he set his phone on the table, satisfied that when she’d turn her phone back on, it would be waiting for her.
“Julian,” Rob called from his left.
He shifted his gaze from his phone to his brother. “Yep.”
“You’ve barely eaten and you’ve been on your phone since you got here. You doing all right? Everything okay with work?” Rob asked before he picked up his glass of water and took a sip.
Julian frowned at the concern in Rob’s eyes and the way his brother’s brows furrowed. All he did was nod a reply and retrieved his fork. He looked down at the garden salad on his plate and began to pick at it. Rob’s questioning glare made Julian uncomfortable in his seat. There was no reason for Rob to be upset when he told him the truth about his love for Stephanie. Julian had met her first. Loved her first. He had to understand.
“Julian, will you be returning to Sydney to collect your things from your apartment?” his father asked.
“I don’t know,” Julian replied and dropped his fork on the plate. Then he glanced up to see a disappointed frown on his father’s face. “I’ve got a lot to figure out here first, Dad. Eventually, I’ll go back and formally quit my job there, but right now, I just don’t know when I’ll return.”
“But you’re staying?” Rob asked, almost frantic.
Julian nodded. “Of course. Can’t leave you two here. You’ve both been miserable for the last four years. Might as well stay and bring joy back into your lives.”
“More like you’re a pain in the ass,” Rob muttered.
Julian reached out, picked up a bread roll, and threw it at his brother. “Heard that!”
“It’s fucking true!” Rob chuckled and brushed the crumbs off his shoulder.
“You were the pain in the ass growing up. What with all your rowing comps and shit,” Julian pointed out. “I was practically your slave.”
“I was a dick. I’m sorry, Julian. I just wanted you to love rowing like Mum did.” Rob sounded sad and that caused a heavy pang of guilt to erupt within Julian’s chest.
“Fuckin’ hell, Robbie. We don’t apologise and shit,” he teased and peered over at his father to see the smirk on the old man’s face.
“No, we don’t. You haven’t called me Robbie in a—” Rob was interrupted by the chime his phone had made. He peeked at the screen and then cleared his throat. “I have to take this.”
“Something wrong with rowing?” Julian asked, curious.
Rob shook his head and rose from his chair. He picked up his phone and said, “Nah, nothing like that. Be right back.”
The moment Rob left the dining room, their father leant forward and smiled like he knew a secret. “It’s that girl from the wedding. The pretty bridesmaid.”
“Which girl?”
“Not your girl. Not Stephanie. Allison. I think that’s her name.”
“Ally? The ash blonde? Slightly shorter than Clara?”
“That’s the one. He likes her,” his father said gently. “His eyes haven’t lit up that way since your mother was alive.”
Julian focused on the doorway and noticed his brother with the most natural smile he’d seen him make in years.
You deserve her, Rob.
“You sure you’re okay with the dishes, Dad?” Julian asked as he made his way to the kitchen door that led to the backyard.
“I’m okay, son. You go see if your brother is all right. He’s been staring at your mother’s tree for some time.”
And with that, Julian opened the back door and stepped onto the deck to see Rob’s back. He then made his way down the steps and stood next to his brother, taking in the pink peonies that had bloomed beautifully. They remained silent as the sounds of the neighbours’ children playing filled the air.
“I know, Julian,” Rob said, breaking their silence.
Julian flinched.
Fuck.
Maybe it’s something else.
“Just take care of her,” Rob added.
Her.
Her as in Stephanie.
“How’d you—”
Rob rested a hand on Julian’s shoulder and in a calm voice said, “It’s not that hard to see, Julian. I realised at the pub. And well, Alex confirmed it. He had me promise that I wouldn’t overreact. But it doesn’t hurt. Not in the way I expected it to. I thought I’d hate you or feel betrayed by you. But I have no right to feel that way. Tell me, is it true? Was Stevie the one you met in Thailand?”
“She’s the one,” Julian confirmed.
Rob let out a loud and heavy exhale. “I mean it, Julian. You hurt her and I will come after you. I care about her. I may not love her the way you obviously do, but she means something to me. I want what makes her happy. I want what makes you happy. You’re my brother and I love you no matter what. I should have known at the wedding. The way you called her Stephanie… I should have known.”
Julian took a step forward and then faced his brother. He took a deep breath to settle his throbbing heart. “I love her, Robbie. I’ve loved her all this time.”
“I know you do. But you shouldn’t have to explain yourself to me. She fell in love with you first. We were never really anything.” Rob gave him a small smile. “Although you’re one annoying little fucker, you’re also one of the best guys I know. But don’t go shoving your love in my face. It’s gonna take me some time to get used to that. Right now, the thought that… it just stings, but I’ll get over it.”
“That’s fair. Now listen, we gotta talk.”
Rob raised a brow. “About?”
“Ally.” Julian didn’t miss the wince Rob made and his grin widened.
“Nothing to say.”
“Bullshit!”
“Seriously, you kept quiet about Stevie for four years. It’s my turn.”
Rob then spun and began to walk back towards their childhood home. Julian sighed and shook his head.
“She’s not that girl in those papers!” he shouted.
His brother halted and quickly faced him. Rob then gave Julian a tight smile. “I know. She’s nothing like that. She’s beautiful and sweet. She’s everything I wish she wasn’t. Then I could walk away but I can’t.”
“Then stop fighting it,” Julian suggested.
“If only it were that easy.”
“It could be.”
Rob pursed his lips. “But it’s not. Not even close to being easy. Come on, let’s go back inside and make that old man tell us stories about Mum.”
“I miss her,” Julian honestly said.
“I do, too. But Dad misses her more, and sometimes, I think he just needs to talk about her in order for him to remember her with as much justification and rightness he craves.”
When they reached the door, Julian paused. “You remember when Mum used to say loving Dad made her a better person. I think I get it.” He
peeked at his brother to see Rob staring at the door.
“I understand what she meant… but I’m the exception. It made me the worse kind of person. Love terrifies me, Julian. It’s probably why she’d never speak to me again,” Rob confessed and then closed his eyes tight for a second before he opened the door.
“You love Ally,” Julian stated.
His brother tilted his head slightly to the right, away from Julian’s questioning gaze and whispered, “I do. And she doesn’t deserve that.”
Annie: We’re almost at your place. See you in five.
Stevie: I thought only my dearest stepbrother was coming over. I had no idea his wicked wife was coming, too.
Annie: Stop that, Stevie! We were friends BEFORE I married your brother. I’m also NOT wicked. You could have had a terrible sister-in-law, you know?
Stevie: I know. I’m lucky to have you, Saint Annie. Now tell me, is Jarred bringing me a box of Baci?
Annie: Those Italian chocolate kisses? The ones wrapped in blue foil?
Stevie: Those are the ones!
Instead of a text message, Stevie received a picture from Annie. When she opened it, she laughed at the sight of her sister-in-law holding up the blue box of chocolates with Jarred in the picture, eyes on the road.
Stevie: That’s it! You should have put them in the backseat and buckled the seat belt around them.
Annie: I worry about you. See you soon.
Stevie: Me? I worry about YOU. You married my brother.
Annie: Nothing to worry about. I kind of enjoy being married.
Stevie: Yuck. Let’s not talk about that. You need to reserve that kind of talk for Clara. See you soon.
Stevie exited her text message conversation with Annie to see an unread message from Julian.
Julian: I love you, Stephanie Élise Appleton.
Those six words caused the warm throbs of her heart, and she felt her eyes prickle because of it.
Yep. I am that in love with Julian Overlord-though-I-don’t-believe-it Moors.
“Do you mind not trying to punch holes in my front door?” Stevie asked, irritated at her stepbrother’s heavy knocks.
Jarred pulled a smug smile. “Clara’s front door.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s my apartment while she lives with her beautiful husband in America.”
“Oh, goodness, Nolan Parker is just… Wow,” Annie practically swooned. It hadn’t even been subtle. She had even fanned herself. And for once, Stevie had to agree with her. Jarred, however, rolled his eyes at them.
“How many boxes did you bring?” Stevie asked.
“Just these two.” Jarred held up the one he held in one hand. “We’ll bring the others later. You’re not in a rush for the rest, are you?”
Stevie shook her head and then took a step back to give them the space they needed to enter the apartment. “Nope. I don’t even remember what’s in them, to be honest.”
“That’d be right,” Jarred teased as he walked into the apartment and kissed her cheek.
Annie, with a box in hand, followed and then shut the door behind them. “Where do you want us to put these?” she asked.
“Lounge will do,” Stevie answered as she walked towards the couch. “You didn’t leave the chocolates in the car, did you?”
“Nope. I had Jarred put them in the box he’s holding.”
“Sometimes you say all the right things, Annie. Jarred, can you put the chocolates in the fridge while I see what I put in these boxes?”
Jarred set the box he was holding on the cream couch and then proceeded to open it. When he had finished sifting through it, he pulled out the blue box of chocolates. “Sure. I’ll do it now before it gets too hot in here and they melt. It’s bloody brutal out there today. You got beer in the fridge?” he yelled as he made his way towards the kitchen.
Stevie sat on the couch and reached for the box, pulling it towards her. “Should have Coronas in there.”
“Do you want me to go through this box for you?” Annie asked once she had placed the cardboard box down next to Stevie.
“Sure. Whatever looks important, put it aside. Anything embarrassing, you say nothing, and I’ll destroy it.”
Annie giggled and then opened the flaps of the box.
“Steves, I’m starving. Can I make a sandwich?” Jarred asked from the kitchen.
Stevie pulled out several books and placed them behind her. “Yeah. Just clean up after yourself.”
“Seriously?” Annie asked.
Glancing up from the stack of pictures she held, Stevie noticed her holding a photo of the three of them. Annie had a halo drawn above her head and Stevie had devil horns drawn on her. And as for Jarred, he stood in the middle of them. It reminded her of shows where the angel and the devil would be on the shoulder of a poor, innocent man trying to make the right or wrong decision.
“Oh, my God! I remember this. Clara took this back in first year. Gotta say, this is my best work. Greatest representation of us I’ve ever seen.” Stevie nodded approvingly at the picture and let it fall into her ‘keep’ pile. She’d have to go to the shops later in the week and buy a frame for it.
“You packed a lot of junk in here,” Annie pointed out.
“I’m a hoarder,” she deadpanned.
Bobby pins, makeup, more pictures, a few books, random notepads, and a stuffed bear in a beret were pulled from Stevie’s box. After a few minutes of searching, Annie’s voice halted from her fast chatter.
“Stevie,” Annie breathed.
“Annie, if it’s another photo I’ve defaced of you, put it in the keep pile,” Stevie instructed. She glanced up at her sister-in-law to see her face had lost its colour as she stared at a photo.
No.
Stevie knew instantly what it was. Her heart had all but stopped its beats and a large lump formed in her throat. She had lost the sensation in her fingers and toes as realisation sunk in. Before she could even react, Jarred had returned from the kitchen with a plate in his hand. Stevie watched as he peered over his wife’s shoulder; he squinted briefly before he too understood what he was looking at. Then he set the plate down on the coffee table.
“This is a sonogram,” Annie stated in a small voice. “Stevie, it has your name on it.”
Say something… anything.
The lump in her throat doubled in size and made it difficult for Stevie to breathe. She thought she had packed the sonogram in one of the boxes that she had left under her bed. It was evident she had thought wrong as Annie held it and Jarred stared at it.
“It’s dated,” Jarred finally said. His voice held little emotion. And Stevie knew he had put it together. Her lie had finally come to light. “You lied to me.”
“I can explain—”
Jarred snatched the picture from Annie’s hand and shoved it as close to Stevie’s face as possible. “You lied to me, Stevie!” he shouted.
She flinched and tears welled. Stevie had never seen Jarred this furious, this hurt. The vein in his neck protruded and his nostrils flared.
“Jarred,” she attempted, but he shook his head to silence her.
“You said it was a false positive. How could you keep this from me? I was there for you after Thailand. I took you to the doctor. You looked me in the fucking eye and lied to me,” he said, astonished. Then he held the sonogram tighter. “I’ve always been there for you. I call you my sister when you call me your stepbrother. I may not be your blood, but I’ve treated you like you are to me. I’ve always supported you. I was by your side when you were crying over the positive pregnancy test. How… I don’t understand.”
“I was ashamed,” Stevie whispered as tears ran down her cheeks and grazed her neck.
The anger flashed in Jarred’s eyes. “It’s me, Stevie! It’s me! I’m your brother… At least, I thought I was. I thought you trusted me. I thought you loved me enough to realise that I would never judge you. I thought I made that clear when we were growing up.” The break in his voice was proof that she had hurt hi
m with this lie. “Who’s the father? Was it even someone from Schoolies or after? Hell, was it even before?”
Stevie flinched. Jarred had just punched her chest and ripped out her heart. The last person she thought who could ever believe her to be some common whore had finally believed it. He accused her. And accusations were worse. A sob escaped her. The hate and disgust in his voice were enough proof that she had betrayed his trust.
“Who was it, Stevie?” Jarred roared.
She glanced down at her hands, tears blurred her vision as she whispered, “Julian.”
“What?” Annie breathed. Shock laced her voice.
“Rob’s brother? That Julian?”
Stevie gazed up at her stepbrother and nodded.
Jarred blinked at her several times and then shook his head unbelievably. “I have never, in my entire life, been more disappointed in you. Not because you were stupid enough to get knocked up by a complete stranger. But because you had the absolute nerve to lie to my face about being pregnant. I don’t even know who you are. I-I can’t look at you without seeing that girl walk out of that medical centre and tell me it was a faulty pregnancy test. I’m face to face with the same girl who lied to my fucking face.”
Another sob passed her lips. “Jarred, plea—”
“You disgust me,” he bit out before he turned and then stormed out of the apartment. The loud bang of the door slamming shut made her flinch.
Stevie’s eyelids clenched tightly together. The aches filled her. The one person she had never wanted to hurt had just left her apartment with so much anger and pain in his eyes that she felt guilty and worthless.
“Stevie, I-I,” Annie stammered.
“Go,” Stevie instructed. “He needs you.”
“But you’re my friend.”
Stevie shook her head. “But your loyalty is to your husband. I need you to make sure he’s okay. I hurt him with my lies. I kept my pregnancy a secret from him. I deceived him and his trust, Annie. I deserve it.”
“You have a child.”
“No.” Stevie’s eyes met Annie’s. “I miscarried a few days after the doctor confirmed my pregnancy… I told Jarred it was a false positive so he wouldn’t worry. I handled it wrong. I’ve made him hate me.”