Jacques’s hands were tied. “How can I stop her? I was once in his position. I’d reaped the rewards of battle myself. How do I sit here now and tell her to deny him the one thing a guardian has to look forward to? She’s the primus, and we’re not.”
She opened her mouth but was cut off.
Flynn wanted to puke. “Fine. If you can’t lay down the law with her because you’re a vamp, I will.” He stared over at her. “You’re not sleeping with Mathew. End of discussion.”
She started laughing. This whole situation sucked, and like having to face council to fight for Ariel, she also had to make a decision when it came to Mathew.
“This isn’t the least bit funny,” Flynn stated. “Him boning our girl is far from amusing.”
“Jolie,” said Jacques, resting a hand over her belly. “This isn’t easy on us. What if the situation was reversed? What if we had to go to another woman?”
Before she could speak, Flynn began pleading their case.
“Jolie, baby, you practically lost your mind when you smelled Dena on my shirt. Try living in our shoes. We’re going to have to swallow that the woman we love is going to have sex with another man.”
“In our house,” added Jacques.
Flynn continued, “With our pregnant mate.”
“While we sit in another room, twiddling our thumbs.”
Jolie closed her eyes and looked at it from their perspective. “It’s not fair to either of you, but look at the situation I’m in.”
Oh, they were.
That’s why Flynn wanted to kill him. It would be easier for them.
“My loves, tonight was a mess. I would rather go into a fight with you or Flynn. I never have to worry that you’re going to freak out and run away.”
“Then I’ll be your guardian,” Flynn interrupted. “I’ll quit my job, and I’ll take over. You're carrying our kids. That’s so much more important than me having a career. I can go back to police work in a century or two.”
“I love that you’re offering me something so amazing, but we both know the truth, Flynn. You’re a cop. You need to do your job in order to feel fulfilled. You’d go insane in three weeks.”
He hated that she was right.
“We expected him to go into tonight and fight for me, and now it’s time for his reward.”
Jacques moved from the bed to start pacing.
“We can’t expect him to dedicate his life to my safety, and never be rewarded for his loyalty. You of all men know, Jacques, that once a guardian finds his primus, he’ll do anything for her. That included abstaining.”
He was well aware. He also knew that never once did he have to come home from battle and be turned away. Their kind was driven by testosterone and the predator within, and he’d been given an outlet after a fight.
“I hate this.”
Flynn agreed. “He’s not like Jacques. He’s going into this thinking about the sex. I’m willing to bet that when Jacques was your guardian, it wasn’t about getting laid.”
“It wasn’t. That’s why I was her guardian for all those years,” he stated. “I did it to make sure she survived. I wanted nothing more than to keep her safe.”
“See?”
“Mathew wants in your pants. That’s his motivating force, and that’s going to be our downfall. The first hundred years I served you, Jolie, how many times did we have sex?”
She stared at him. Jacques had to be desperate if he was going this route. “None. I had been abused by Goethe before meeting you, and I didn't let anyone touch me. You’re well aware of that, Jacques.”
He turned away from her. “Even then I suspected something had happened, and not once did I ever ask for what was absolutely my right.”
Jolie was aware. As of that moment, her mind was far from made up. She had a lot to think about.
“I think he’s earned the right to continue training,” she stated. “I would really like for you both to finish what we’ve started. We offered him this position, he tried his best, and we can’t yank it away from him because of the sex. If we took that off the table, would you still train him?”
They stared at her.
“Well? Would you see potential in him?”
“Yes,” admitted Jacques.
“I hate that you’re right about this,” stated Flynn.
“So, he’s going to get his shot at being a guardian. It’s all he has in his life, my loves. We can’t hurt him like that. Correction--we won’t hurt him like that.”
Neither man was happy.
“And, no one,” she began, staring at her human mate, “will growl at him when he’s near us, will you?” she asked. “He needs time, Jacques. You had formal training for years to be a guardian, and Flynn, you’re a street cop. You have incredible instincts. Mathew was abused for years. He’s really trying to reach a standard to make you proud. Please give him time and be patient.”
Jacques climbed back into their bed. “I’m going to death. It’s been a really bad day,” he stated.
Jolie understood.
She watched him go under, and her heart ached. He didn't even kiss her goodnight.
He just…left.
Yeah, this was a really shitty decision on her behalf. If she slept with Mathew, it would damage her mates, but if she didn't, it could hurt Mathew. By their people’s rules, he’d earned it.
“Want to talk about it?” Flynn asked.
Jolie rested in her customary space.
“Flynn.”
He placed his fingers over her lips. “I need to say something first. Then you can say what it is you’re thinking.”
Jolie simply nodded.
“I know that you need to make this decision, but you also need to know that it’s going to break him.”
She didn't speak.
“A few times, Jacques has mentioned to me that he feels replaceable and that I’m your true mate.”
“What? I couldn’t replace him or you.”
“It’s the whole mate thing. He lives every day knowing that you and I were predestined by fate. I came along, and you fell in love in days. Then he looks at his life, and he had to fight for your heart for centuries to get where he is today. It’s been an uphill battle for him. If you go to Mathew’s bed, it’s one more slice to his heart.”
Jolie opened her mouth, but he cut her off.
“He’s afraid every day that you’re going to replace him. It’s his biggest fear. I’ve told him that you’ve chosen to be with him, despite what fate did for us--and that it means more.”
Jolie’s eyes filled with tears.
“I can’t help that I was born to be with you, and not him. I don’t think I’ve ever treated him less than I have you,” she stated.
“You haven’t. I can see it, but I’m not looking at it as the odd man out. Jacques is scared.”
Jolie hated that he was hurting.
“If you go to Mathew’s bed, it’s not just guardian sex. It’s another vampyre having what he had to work centuries to finally get. Mathew has been with us months. It’ll make him feel like just some tagalong vamp you’re keeping in your bed.”
Her heart ached.
“This isn’t about a reward to him. Jacques likes Mathew. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t tolerate the puppy dog looks, and the way he follows you around like you’re Jesus Christ Superstar.”
Jolie didn't know what to say.
“He had to swallow me being in your bed, and it wasn’t easy. Now if you let Mathew into your body, especially while you’re having his child, it’s going to break him. I hate to hurt you with this, but you’re going to damage his heart.”
Tears filled her eyes.
“I know you’re stuck between a rock and hard place, but I guess what I’m asking you to do is put the primus away for once. I get that this is your job. I take mine seriously too, but if you do this, it’s more than sex. It’s Jacques’s security in this relationship. Now, all he has is that I’ve told him you’d never leave him--there won’t
be proof, and that’s what he needs from you. Actions speak louder than words.”
Jolie wanted to cry.
“Flynn,” she whispered.
“I don’t like it, Jolie, but it won’t kill me like it will him. If you do it, make sure you don’t flaunt it in his face. Don’t make him hurt. Jacques is a proud man who stood by you for centuries. If anything, Mathew may have earned a romp in your bed, but Jacques has earned so much more. He’s always been loyal. Give him that back.”
Jolie heard what he was saying.
Glancing over, she leaned down over her mate. “I love you, Jacques. I’m so very sorry.”
Flynn wasn’t sure why she was apologizing.
Was it because she hurt him--them?
Or was it because she was going to go off to another man’s bed when she woke?
“I love you too, Flynn,” she offered.
He rolled over and closed his eyes.
Normally, he’d spoon her, or hold Jolie in his arms. Tonight, despite nearly losing her, he didn't feel like it.
“Goodnight, Jolie,” he offered. It was the best he could do. She wasn’t the only one stuck in a precarious situation. Flynn was trapped between right and wrong, plus stuck between mates.
Jolie found her position in between them. Only tonight, the men were like two walls trapping her. There was no warmth, love, or reassurance that they’d trust her to make the right decision.
And what would that be?
Her duty? Their hearts?
It was funny. This night was pretty shitty when she nearly died. Who knew it was going to get much worse?
She sighed into the darkness, calling for Chloe before heading into the open arms of the darkness.
Tomorrow was a new day, and she had to take care of business.
She only hoped that she made the right decision.
For once.
∞ Chapter Twenty-Two ∞
Monday Early Afternoon
Flynn woke when he heard her moving around their room. It was still early, and he wanted to stay lost in sleep, but he couldn’t. Today, the woman he loved was going to go to another vampyre’s bed.
It was killing him.
Over the months, he’d had time to learn a great deal about vampyres, and he’d come to love them. In fact, he wanted to be like them more and more, but now…he loathed them and their stupid customs.
He despised that the woman he loved, who was carrying their children, was about to screw another man in the name of honor.
It made him sick.
It was barbaric.
It was archaic.
It was insane.
“I know you’re awake,” she stated. “I can hear your heartbeat from here,” Jolie warned.
He rolled over to find her getting dressed in her normal attire. Well, at least there was no sexy lingerie to seduce another man.
Jesus!
How much could he take?
“So,” he stated, “today’s the day, huh?”
He made it sound like she was going to the dentist for a root canal, but he just couldn’t say the words. Flynn was desperately holding on to his temper.
Oh, he wanted Mathew to get fucked, just not like this. Maybe it was petty, but he really disliked the man now. Flynn had reservations from the start, but this confirmed his suspicions.
He was only out to get in Jolie’s pants.
If he genuinely wanted to be part of their family, he wouldn’t even think of going there. This spoke volumes.
“Yes, it is. I was just going to head to Mathew’s room now. Will you be okay here alone?”
His eyelid actually twitched. “Yeah, sure. I’ll call up Dena and see if she wants to hang out. Maybe we can go skinny dipping.”
Jolie understood his anger, but the barb still hurt. She had feelings too, and their utmost lack of faith in her was upsetting.
Flynn was ashamed that he took such a cheap shot, but he couldn’t help it. It appeared that she’d been up for a while, and Jolie had already made her decision.
There stood the primus in all her glory.
He wanted to be sick.
“So, you’re pissed at me.”
He stared at her. “That depends.”
Jolie didn't have time for this. “Then we’ll have to deal with this later. Jacques will be up in two hours, and I have a date.”
Flynn flinched.
Maybe it was petty, but it was payback. Flynn’s face said it all.
Jolie really wanted to crawl across the bed and into his arms. She hurt because they didn't trust her. How could they think that she’d sleep with someone else and sacrifice Jacques heart? The minute Flynn shared the information with her, it changed the game.
For years, Goethe cheapened her. After surviving him, she’d only been with one man--Jacques. That was, until Flynn strolled into her life.
That they thought she would do something like this, without it weighing on her heart and shoulders, was hurtful.
Jolie wished they believed in her.
“Then you should go. I wouldn’t want to screw Mathew out of some getting laid time. After all, he’s earned it. He lives in our home, has our protection, and now our woman. Lucky him. I wonder if I can get me a gig like he has. All the sex and none of the blood sacrifice.”
Jolie stared at him.
“Save it. We saved him. We bled for him, and now he gets to bed hop with our woman. Yeah, he’s a lucky asshole. Keep him away from us. I might forget my manners and stake him.”
“You should stop right now. I know how you feel, and you’re not making this any easier. In fact, you’re making me really angry. When I’m mad, as Jacques will attest if you ask him, I tend to be a bitch and do the opposite of what he wants. You’re treading dangerously close to me being petty.”
Flynn braced his arms behind his head. “Noted, Mistress Harcourte. I’ll remember to mind my manners.”
Jolie headed toward the door. “If it’s any consolation, Flynn, I wouldn’t ever hurt you or Jacques.”
He didn't say anything. If she didn't think this hurt, then she was out of her mind. “Have fun. Oh wait! I’m sure Mathew will. He’s done a piss poor job of being a guardian, and still gets a mercy lay. Awesome.”
Jolie had never heard such animosity in his voice before. Generally, Flynn was sweet and gentle. This just showed how much he was hurting over all this.
Jolie only hoped that when this was done, they’d be able to get past this--that she’d be able to forgive them.
With that, she left.
Her eyes were filled with tears, and she wanted to weep. She’d never been on this side of Flynn’s anger.
Never.
And it sucked.
The kicker was that she was primus and before him nothing mattered. Now everything did.
Despite the hurt, they mattered to her.
When she closed the door, she heard him curse before he tried to touch her mind. Instead of letting him in, she blocked him out. He’d had his say, and now this was Mathew’s time.
She owed him, and Jolie always paid her debts.
Outside his room, she knocked. Jolie knew Chloe was in there getting ready to feed him. She’d set it up so he wouldn’t be startled when she arrived. Mathew was still jumpy when it came to people standing over his bed as he woke.
He hated it.
“Come in,” he called.
When she peeked her head around the door, he smiled. “Mistress, are you okay? You’re up early.”
She dismissed Chloe. “I am. Have you feed yet?”
“No, I was just about to, but you just sent my breakfast away.”
“Well, I’d like to be the one to offer you blood. You fought hard last night, Mathew, and I’m proud of you. You’re going to be an excellent guardian one day. You’re on your way. I can tell.”
He smiled, his aqua eyes dancing.
“I’d love your blood,” he stated, “if it won’t hurt you and the pregnancy that is…” he said.
It wa
s just like him to be sweet. Jolie knew that the men distrusted him because of the sex thing, but Mathew was so much more. He was a wounded child at times, but he was an amazing person once you got to know him.
“I’m good. I fed from Mina this morning. Later, I’ll get blood from my mates.”
Yeah, if they were talking to her. If not, she’d be dining on demoness.
“Then thank you, Mistress.”
He picked up her wrist, and she stopped him. “You can feed from my throat, Mathew. Last night, you saved my life. Without you, I wouldn’t have made it home.”
Granted, he’d divided her focus, but he’d still tried his best. What more could Jolie ask for?
Oh, yeah--Jacques and Flynn to trust her.
He looked surprised. “Are you sure?” What he wanted to ask was if her mates would kill him for getting that close. Mathew was good at reading people. You had to be when you fought for survival for many years.
“I’m here with you, not them. I’m offering you my throat, unless you don’t want it.”
He laughed. “I’d be crazy to say no. Thank you, Mistress.”
When she leaned forward, he gently brushed her hair aside. He found the pulse and bit down.
All the while, Jolie was in his mind. Yes, he was thinking sex, and hoping that one day he’d be a good enough guardian to be rewarded.
Yeah, they were going to have to talk.
When he released her throat, she gave him a gentle kiss on his lips. “Thank you for last night, Mathew.”
He shrugged. “I’d die for you, Mistress. You don’t have to thank me.”
It was time. “We need to talk about that.”
Mathew looked worried. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked, scooting back from her. “I know I’m not as good as the masters, but I can be. I will be.”
Jolie could tell it was genuine fear. This wasn’t him faking anything.
“No, Mathew, it’s not you. It’s me, and I have to be honest with you before you go any further as my guardian. After we finish this discussion, you’ll have to decide if you still want the title.”
His aqua eyes filled with tears. “You’re getting rid of me, aren’t you?”
Jolie took his hand in hers. “No, I’m not, but I am going to discuss the title of guardian with you.”
He didn't relax.
Dangerous Retaliation (The Harcourte Vampyre Society Book 4) Page 30