“When a male vampyre guards a primus, he’s offered a few perks. Are you aware of them?” She could tell he knew, but Jolie wanted to see if he’d lie or be honest.
“Yes, I am. Delina had sex with her guardians all the time. They were the only ones in the house, besides her, who were allowed to ask for sex.”
Okay, well, at least he didn't lie.
“Last night, you earned the right to have sex with me. That’s why I’m here.”
He swallowed.
Jolie saw his pulse jump. “Normally, a guardian earns the right to come to the mistress’s bed. Only, that’s going to be an issue for me.”
He stared at her. “Mistress?”
“Mathew, I love you. You’re a sweet, gentle, and amazing man, but I can’t have sex with you. I know it’s one of the rules that we’ve held to be a constant across the board for longer than time, but I won’t do it.”
He didn't know what to say.
“It’s not that you’re not sexy, handsome, and worthy, so stop thinking that.”
He paused. “You’re in my head.”
“Yes, and I know that you were hoping, even looking forward to sex with me. Not only do I know, but so do my mates.”
Well, he was going to die, so why not die for the right reason?
“I was thinking it, Mistress. I’ll admit it.”
“Is that why you took the position as guardian?” She needed to know.
“No. I wanted to be near you. I wanted to be more like Masters Flynn and Jacques. I just wanted to feel what it was like to be on the inside, Mistress.”
“Jolie.”
He stared at her. “What?”
“You’re going to call me Jolie--not mistress, not ma’am, not anything other than my name. You’ve earned that. Since I won’t sleep with you, the least I can do is give you something of value.”
He didn't know what to think.
“I can’t share my body with you, Mathew, because I’m in a committed relationship with two men I love. Jacques was my guardian, and for years, we’d have sex. Flynn is my true mate, and we’re drawn to each other.”
“I understand.”
“No, you don’t. I won’t cheapen who you are, Mathew. I know it’s a privilege, but it lessens our relationship. We both came from situations where sex was used to manipulate and break us. I won’t do that to you. I respect you too much.”
He stared at her.
“I want you to love me for me, not sex. I want to know that you’re my guardian out of more than a quick lay. With the people I love, I need them to love me for me. I don’t want to be obeyed, cherished, or loved because of sex.”
“Mistress.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“Jolie,” he corrected. “I do love you. You saved me. You’re like…”
He stopped.
“I’m like your mother, aren’t I?”
He lowered his head, hiding behind his hair. It fell in a brown silky curtain around his face, acting like a shield.
“Yes. I don’t know who she is, and when I found you…”
Jolie lifted his chin. “Then I’ll fill that role for you. Mathew, would the sex really fulfill you? After years of being forced into it, would it really fill that hole in your life?”
He didn't know.
“Be honest. Why do you want to have sex with me?”
“So you’ll never throw me away. I just want to have a place where I belong. I want to be safe and know that each time I wake, it won’t be chaos. I don’t like feeling afraid.”
Jolie took his hand in hers. “What if I could give you that, and there wasn’t any sex involved? I want you to be my guardian, Mathew, but I can’t reward you with physical things that most guardians are accustomed to.”
“I understand.”
“Do you?”
He nodded. “You love your mates. If you have sex with me, it’ll hurt them, and then that will hurt you. I don’t want any of you to be wounded, Mistress. I mean Jolie. I just want to have a family. I can live without sex. God knows I’ve had plenty the last hundred years to last a lifetime, even for us.”
“I was in your mind. I know you were looking forward to it.”
He stood, trying to move away from her.
“Mistress.”
“Talk to me, Mathew.”
“If you have sex with me, you’d like it, and then you’d never want me to be sent away. I’m good in bed, but I’m afraid outside of it. It’s all I can offer to pay you back for everything you’ve given me. I know you said I only owed you my allegiance, but how long will that last? What do I bring to the table other than a wounded man who will hurt the family?”
Now she understood.
What the men were sensing as his desire to have sex wasn’t the complete picture. Mathew wanted to impress her to stay in their circle.
She went to him. When she placed her arms around his waist, hugging him to her, he tensed. “What if I could promise you that you’d never have to leave, and you wouldn’t have to perform in bed to impress me? That you could have my love and be part of our circle without pimping out your body to me?”
“I’d probably not believe it.”
“Well, I value you, Mathew. I don’t want you in my life for pleasure. I want you in my life because you’re an amazing vampyre, and we’re lucky to have you. Your art is stunning, and I trust you. There aren’t many I can say that about. I never have to worry about you or Clariel betraying me, and that, to me, is far more valuable than an orgasm or three.”
He took a chance, hugging her back.
“You mean it? I can stay without having to be in your bed?”
Jolie stared up into his eyes. “Even if you hate being a guardian, you can stay. I’ll still love you, and now I actually respect you. That’s so much more important than sex.”
His eyes filled with tears. “Thank you, Mistress.”
“Jolie.”
“Thank you, Jolie.”
She patted his cheek, almost motherly. “What would you like to do today?” she asked.
He stared at her like she was crazy. “What?”
“Well, since we’re not going to have sex, we can do so many other things.”
Mathew opened his mouth, and then closed it. “Are you serious? You want to spend time with me?”
She laughed. “Yes. Would you like to watch a movie? What do you like to do in your spare time, Mathew? I’d say we can sit around and draw, but I really can only muster stick figures.”
He couldn’t believe this, so he asked again. “You’re going to spend time with me?”
She kissed him softly on the cheek. “I’d like to if you’ll let me.”
“Why?”
“Because, Mathew, we’re friends. I want to spend some time with you. You’re smart, funny, and you’re one hell of an artist. So, pick what you’d like to do.”
“Can you give me some French lessons?”
She grinned. “Oui.”
“Let me shower, and I’ll meet you in the library,” he offered, looking so damn happy.
Jolie nodded. “I’ll see you there,” she offered, heading for the door. “And Mathew…for the record?”
He stopped. “Yes, Jolie?”
“If I didn't have mates, or if I wasn’t madly in love with them, I would have had sex with you but this is a million times better. I don’t have many friends. This to me is a true gift and treasure. Thank you for it.”
He grinned. “I’ll be your friend, Jolie. I don’t have many either.”
With that, she gave him privacy.
For now, one battle was fixed. Now she only had to face down the two men in her life.
Yeah, that was going to be an ugly, ugly fight.
She could feel it.
* * * H a r c o u r t e * * *
Two Hours Later
He could feel him pulling away from death, and Flynn didn't know how Jacques was going to react. Jolie was still gone, and he was going to have to calm his mate down.
It wasn’t like he wasn’t just as pissed, but over the last two hours, he felt bad.
He’d been hard on Jolie, and she was surely suffering over this too. The Dena comment was way over the line, and he knew it.
Now, he was going to have to deal with Jacques…alone.
Maybe this was her way of getting even.
When his eyes popped open, Flynn could tell that his mate already knew the truth.
“She went to him, didn’t she?”
He nodded. “Yep.”
“How long ago?”
“Two hours, three minutes, and fifteen seconds ago.”
Jacques sat up. “You should have woke me up,” he stated. “I would have sat here with you. You didn't have to suffer alone.”
“I treated her like shit,” he blurted. “I gave her hell before she went to his room, and I feel like a dick. Can you help me fix that?”
Jacques stared at him. “What did you do?”
He told him everything.
“You told her you were going to call Dena Callahan? And she didn't kill you?”
He shook his head. “I think I made her cry. I don’t know for sure, since she won’t let me into her head. I don’t know if it’s because she’s pissed, or if it’s because right now she’s getting…”
He cut him off.
Jacques ran his hands through his hair. “This sucks. I hate every second of this.”
Yeah, so did Flynn.
“We should get dressed and head downstairs. I don’t want to be in here when she comes back from having sex with him.”
Flynn didn't either.
“We could go down and have some tea.”
“You could eat,” Jacques offered. “It’s been days.”
“Pass. I’ll just puke. Right now, I need to stay calm and be with someone rational.”
“Oh, do you know someone?” he asked. “Then you better call him, and fast.”
Great.
So much for Jacques being the level headed one.
“If he touched her…”
Flynn knew exactly what his friend was saying. For the last two hours, he’d made himself sick thinking about it. He’d pictured Jolie naked, Mathew riding her, his mouth over her belly, licking lower.
Yeah, he’d tortured himself plenty.
“I’m sorry, Jacques. I tried to talk her out of it last night when you went to death. I didn't really believe she’d do this,” he admitted.
“It’s her duty,” he stated. “Jolie has always put her duty to this family first. I’m not surprised.”
Flynn didn’t like the way his voice sounded. There was betrayal and hurt there.
“Are you going to be okay?” he asked.
Jacques emerald green eyes met Flynn’s icy blue ones. “I don’t know. For the first time in a very long time, I don’t have an answer for that.”
Yeah, this didn't bode well.
Flynn was worried.
His family was about to implode.
* * * H a r c o u r t e * * *
In the library, they sat in front of the fire working on common verbs. Each time Mathew butchered one, he had to drink a sip of wine.
So far, he was beyond tipsy, and Jolie was amused.
What she’d learned from the last two hours was that Mathew was a completely different person beneath the scared shell.
He liked music, dancing, and flowers.
His love of art spanned his entire life from when he was a child.
He didn't know his family, but he believed his mother had been killed by hunters.
She also learned in his drunken state that she was definitely like a mother to him, and that would mean his loyalty until death.
Oddly, now that she was carrying children, it didn't bother her at all.
He was sweet.
“I think I’m screwed,” he stated. “I mean, with French, not with you.”
When he blushed, she started laughing. “Are you sure you want to learn this? Wouldn’t world domination be so much easier?” she teased.
He tossed a pillow at her.
Jolie laughed even more when he nearly fell over.
They sat facing each other on the couch as they tried not to draw too much attention. Every now and again, someone would walk by and stare at them.
It made Jolie laugh even more.
She’d only had a glass of wine, but Mathew had tapped the rest of the bottle.
“I've never drank before,” he admitted. “This wasn’t fair!”
“Probably not, but it’s really funny. I have to admit that I love seeing you be yourself. You should let this man out more often. He’s really great.”
Mathew blushed more. “Women like strong men, like the masters. They don’t like weakness. I’ll never find my mate. I’m pretty much ready to give up.”
“Are you kidding? Women love the tortured poet. It’s sexy. Who doesn’t like some romantic man who can draw her pictures and be gentle?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know…”
“Trust me. I wouldn’t lie about this. I’ll tell you a secret, but it has to stay between us. Promise?”
He nodded.
“Jacques can play the piano, and he used to write me poems when he was my guardian. He never gave them to me, but I found them once. That was the sexiest thing about him.”
Mathew stared at her. “Really?”
She nodded. “And Flynn, well, he’s romantic. He proposed outside in the garden,” she offered, holding out her hand to show him the ring.
“It’s gorgeous, Jolie.”
“He’s very suave when it comes to wooing the woman. Those are the characteristics I fell in love with. Not their size or strength, but their hearts. Trust me--you’ll have no problem finding that mate. She’s out there.”
He smiled. “Thank you for this, Jolie,” he stated, dropping the book on the coffee table. “This means so much to me.”
“Better than sex?” she asked, grinning.
“With you? Probably not, but it’s pretty damn near perfect for me. I hope we get to do it again.”
She touched his cheek. “This wasn’t just a reward for fighting well. If I'm free, come get me. We can have a weekly date night.”
He laughed. “Yeah, the mates will love that. We can add to it a weekly funeral night. It’ll be the next day.”
Jolie knew considering the other option, they’d be more than happy to share her for a couple hours if it was non-sex related.
“Give them some credit.”
Mathew trusted her. “Are you sure? Master Flynn looks like he wants to yank my spine out through my mouth.”
Well, at least he was astute.
“How about next week you paint me?”
“On canvas?” he asked, getting clarification.
“Yes. I want to commission a painting for my mates. Can we do that instead of drinking and French?”
“Yes.”
“Pardon?” she said, waiting for him to answer in French
“Oui.”
She grinned. “Well, we mastered one word. We might as well call it a night.”
Mathew stopped moving, and his face said it all. The terror was back. “They’re coming.”
It was like a switch was flipped. Gone was the carefree male, and in his place was a damaged, scared child.
“It’s okay,” she offered, kissing his cheek.
When Jolie turned her head, she found two surprised mates standing in the door of the library.
“I’ll talk to you later, Mathew. Thank you for tonight. I forgot how much fun drinking games could be,” she offered.
Mathew picked up the two wine glasses and the book before he headed past the mates.
“Masters,” he said, keeping his head bowed until he was free from the room.
“Jolie.”
“Please come in,” she stated, her voice icy.
The men did just that.
“What are you doing in here?” Flynn asked. He was really confused. “And
you were drinking? That can’t be good for babies.”
“Vampyres can drink while expecting,” Jacques muttered, hearing the chill in her voice. The shit was about to blow up, and they were in the line of fire.
“For your information, I was giving Mathew a French lesson and having a glass of wine. Don’t worry,” she offered. “Vampyres can metabolize booze, Flynn. Your child is safe from my untrustworthy ways.”
He didn't know what to say.
“I thought you went to Mathew’s room to have sex,” Jacques stated.
The door behind them slammed shut.
Both men jumped.
“No, I didn’t. I went to his room to explain to him that because I was mated, and in love with the men in my life, that sex wasn’t an option. I took it off the table and gave him what he really wanted--a friend to have for the rest of his life.”
They looked surprised.
“See, had you trusted me, Flynn, you wouldn’t have been stressed the last two hours. I would never hurt you or Jacques, but I can see that the same isn't true. How was your phone call to Dena? Did it get you off?”
He opened his mouth, and then closed it, knowing he deserved that one.
“I mean, after all, you’ve already shared your body with her before me, so what are a few more romps between ex-coworkers and ex-lovers?”
“I’m sorry,” he said, feeling like an ass.
“Mathew and I talked. He didn't want sex with me for the reasons you thought. He only wanted to feel like he wouldn’t be disposed of if he failed. He actually believed that he could bribe me with intimacy, so I wouldn’t throw him away.”
Neither man spoke.
“So, instead, he and I decided to spend time together. He thinks of me like a mother, and I want him to heal inside.”
“So you didn’t...?” Jacques began.
“No. I wouldn’t do that to my mates. In the six hundred years we’ve been together, Jacques, how many men have I slept with?”
“Besides me?”
“Yes.”
“Flynn.”
“Exactly. When I give my heart away, I can’t just bed hop. I was raped and abused by Goethe. Did either of you ever consider that I might be turned off by the prospect of meaningless sex?”
Neither spoke. When Jolie spoke about Goethe, it was a mine laden field, waiting to blow up around them.
Dangerous Retaliation (The Harcourte Vampyre Society Book 4) Page 31