The Definition of Icing: A Dallas Demons Hockey Romance (Dallas Demons Series)

by Ellis, Aven

  Confusion fills me. “What do you mean?” I ask.

  I notice Nate’s eyes are filling with unshed tears. “I don’t have a scar over my heart, Kenley,” he says, his voice thick. “Not anymore. Not since I fell in love with you.”

  Now I’m openly sobbing. Nate swallows hard, and I can tell he’s trying not to cry.

  “Did you know that there’s a definition for icing in hockey?” Nate asks. “Just like there’s a definition for icing in confections. Our worlds are different, just like those meanings of the same word. But the second I stepped into your world at that photo shoot, into the world of this strong Texas woman with a passion for chocolate, I knew I didn’t want to leave it.

  “You’re the woman I’m meant to love,” Nate continues, his voice breaking. “Not Megan. That’s why everything happened the way it did. As soon as I met you it became clear. I was destined to come to Dallas and fall in love with you.”

  Nate takes his hand and places it over my heart. “And this is what I love about you. What’s inside you. You’re beautiful, Kenley. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. But it’s what you have on the inside that takes my breath away.”

  I wrap a shaking hand over his, holding it tight, vowing never to let it go again.

  “I love you, Nate,” I say, crying. “I fell in love with you right away. The man that you are. Not Nate Johansson, the famous superstar, but Nate Johansson, the man. And I kept this to myself because I was terrified of scaring you away. That you didn’t want to hear this from me.

  “And I was scared that somehow I would be wrong,” I admit painfully. “That you could never love me like that because no man ever has.”

  “Bae, I was scared, too,” Nate admits. “I should have told you how I felt. I’m so sorry I didn’t. That was my mistake. A big one. But I fell so hard and so fast, I kept thinking there’s no way she could be feeling all this so quickly, too.”

  “I did,” I say. Then I pause before continuing. “Nate, about that article. I—”

  “That was a fucking hack job,” Nate snaps angrily. “What you didn’t know is you were in most of those answers. That reporter cut those sentences to make me appear to be single.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah. Like when I said I was single, the complete answer was ‘I’m single, because that’s the box I have to check, but I’m in a relationship.’”

  “Oh, Nate,” I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut.

  “And I said I would be going back to Minnesota but I had to talk to my girl about it first, to make sure we worked around her schedule, because she runs a successful business. And I named it. And you.”

  My eyes flip open. I see nothing but sincerity shining in his eyes, and I lose it.

  Nate pulls me to him, and I grab him tightly, pressing my face into his chest and feeling the fabric of his dress shirt against my cheek. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Nate says, wrapping his arms around me. “You didn’t know what was in my head. Neither did my sister. And I let Holly have it for that quote.”

  “Nate, you didn’t have to do th—”

  “Yes, I did,” Nate says, cutting me off. “Holly crossed a line with me, a big line. I love you. Nobody, including my sister, knows our relationship like we do, and it’s not her place to protect me or judge me or anything else that involves us. She’s kept saying she’s sorry, she was horribly wrong about you, and she realizes she was out of line. And she has promised me it will never happen again.”

  My heart swells with emotion when I realize how much I mean to Nate and the lengths he will go to protect me, to protect us.

  To protect our truth, I think. Nate is protecting our love.

  I clear my throat. “Nate, I had the same kind of conversation with CiCi. I told her she’s my mom, and I love her, but she’s wrong about me. That I do have good judgment, and it’s an insult for her to keep telling me I don’t. I told Mom I’m confident in you, in us, in what we have, and most of all, myself. I don’t need her questioning me anymore. And more to the point, I won’t tolerate it.”

  Nate’s eyes widen. “You said that?”

  “I did.”

  Nate gazes down at me. “So we were both standing up for what we have, weren’t we?”

  “We know our truth,” I say with conviction. “And nobody is going to change that.”

  Nate clears his throat. “There’s another part of that article I want to talk about.”

  “What’s that?”

  “The part about only one person getting to my heart? That wasn’t Megan. That was you.”

  Nate cups my face in his hands, caressing it gently with his fingertips.

  “I love you,” he whispers. “I love you so much. More than I thought I could ever love anyone.”

  I feel nothing but joy flood my heart.

  “I love you, too,” I say, choking up.

  Nate bends down and presses his lips to mine. I relish every second of his kiss, tasting him, feeling his warmth, and feeling nothing but absolute love between us.

  Nate breaks the kiss and wraps his arms around my back. “This is forever. You’re it, Bae.”

  “And you’re my forever, Nate,” I say happily.

  Nate’s face lights up in a smile, and I’m filled with nothing but happiness from the sight of it.

  “We do have some issues that need to be resolved, though,” he says, his eyes sparkling at me.

  “Oh, is that right?” I say, winding my hands around the back of his neck.

  “Yes. First, I want you to know you can sit in the WAGS suite anytime you want,” Nate declares. “At first, I didn’t want to introduce you too early to put pressure on you to feel something maybe you didn’t feel. And I’m selfish. I love seeing you out in the arena when I’m playing.”

  My heart melts from his words. “How about I sit there when you’re on the ice, and at intermissions I go down to meet the girls in the WAGS suite? I should know them since I’ll be one of them.”

  “You’re already one of them,” Nate says.

  I move my hands to his face, feeling his stubble underneath my fingertips, and smile up at him.

  “So we agree on that point,” I tease.

  Nate laughs. “There’s more.”

  I grin. “Okay, second point?”

  “I need to spend some time in Minnesota over the summer,” Nate says. “I love it there, and the summer is my time to unwind.”

  “Liar. You’re terrified of the heat here in July,” I tease.

  “Oh, aren’t you smart?” Nate teases back. “However, I won’t go all summer. We’ll go when you can arrange it with your work schedule.”

  “I can work remote from Minnesota,” I say, “and schedule appointments and meetings together for when I’m here in Dallas. I can commute, Nate. Even if it means flying up and back in the same day.”

  His face shows nothing but happiness on it. “You would do that for me, wouldn’t you?”

  “I’d do anything for the man I love.”

  Nate kisses me again, this time a lingering, deeper kiss than before.

  “I love you,” he whispers against my lips.

  I reach up and run my fingers through his hair. “I love you, too.”

  “Okay, so we have WAGS suite settled, Minnesota settled . . . now next on my list. I texted my agent tonight, before I got on the airplane. I want him to rework my contract with the Demons.”

  “What? Why?”

  “I intended to get the hell out of here when my contract was up,” Nate admits quietly. “But now I don’t ever want to leave. I love this team. I love playing alongside Harrison. We have great chemistry, we’re tight on and off the ice. I love this city. And I love you. I want a no-trade clause put in. This
is my home now. Our home. Our city. And I want to stay here.”

  I didn’t think I could cry anymore, but fresh tears slip from my eyes. Nate gently wipes them away.

  “I hope you don’t mind hearing how much I love you tonight because I’m going to keep saying it,” I whisper.

  “Tell me every day for the rest of my life, Kenley,” he whispers back. “Because that’s what I intend to tell you.”

  I have never felt so loved in my entire life. No man has ever bothered to find the real me underneath my looks. Nate not only found it but treasures who I really am. And that’s who he’s going to spend the rest of his life loving-the real me.

  “This sounds like a pretty thorough list,” I say happily.

  “One more thing. I’m going to start sketching it with my tattoo artist now, but I’m getting another sleeve done,” Nate says. “My first sleeve was about being vulnerable and everything I went through last spring. This sleeve,” Nate says, touching the bicep on his other arm, “is about the journey to where I am now. The Koi will be swimming down. To show I’ve overcome the past. The Koi is going to be red, which symbolizes love. It’s going to have lotus blossoms, too. Because they start out in the mud and are vulnerable, but emerge to something beautiful. Like what I have with you, Bae.”

  Oh, I love how soulful this man is.

  “I,” I say, my voice thick, “can’t think of a better sleeve for you.”

  Nate kisses me again. I break the kiss and smile up at him.

  “And it’s going to be sexy on you,” I say, flirting with him. “I don’t know how I’ll be able to ever keep my hands off you with two sleeves.”

  “Perfect, my work is done,” Nate teases.

  “I have one thing I need to know,” I say.

  “Anything.”

  “What did CiCi say to you that night, Nate?”

  Nate smiles at me. “That’s between me and CiCi.”

  “Nate!”

  “Okay, I can’t have you get mad now,” he says, grinning. “She said you were vulnerable but you had fallen hard for me. That I couldn’t play with your heart, or you would break. She put me on notice that she didn’t care if I was a Dallas Demon or Dallas Cowboy or whatever, she would come after me if I hurt you.”

  I smile. “That sounds like CiCi.”

  “CiCi and I are on the same page about you,” Nate says. “I told her that hurting you would gut me, and she had nothing to worry about. And she had my word on that.”

  “That’s what I heard you say, that part,” I say, remembering that. I swallow hard. “And then I ruined everything by saying CiCi didn’t know what she was talking about and I didn’t have feel—”

  “Not going there,” Nate interrupts, placing his fingers over my lips to silence me. “I know the truth now, and that’s all I need to know.”

  I nod. “Okay.”

  “Anything else?” Nate asks, cocking an eyebrow at me.

  “Just love me, Nate. That’s my one requirement every day. Just love me.”

  “That,” Nate says, pressing his forehead to mine, “is exactly what I intend to do. I love you.”

  “I love you, Nate. So much.”

  And as we kiss, I know what is true. This man is my life. Nate is the one man who has dared to see my inside, the woman I am, and that’s the woman he wants to love. And I see the man he is, and that’s the man I love with all my heart.

  We both had to be hurt to be here. We had to suffer, to build up walls, to believe we could never open our hearts again in order to find each other.

  And once we did, it all fell away.

  Love healed us.

  And I can’t wait to see where it takes us next.

  Epilogue

  June

  Burntside Lake, Ely, Minnesota

  I lean back in my chair, gazing up at the huge pine trees towering over me. Through them, I see a dark sky filled with so many stars, more than I’ve ever seen. I shift my eyes ahead, to the shores of Burntside Lake, where the moonlight shines on the surface of the water as it gently laps against Nate’s property.

  I take a sip of my wine and snuggle up with a blanket over my lap. Even though the fire pit Nate had installed in the spring is roaring with a nice fire, I’m still a little chilly. After all, it’s 53 degrees here. In June. It’s hard for my Texas brain to wrap around the idea that you wear sweatshirts here in the summer at night.

  And on this quiet Minnesota evening, I take a moment to reflect on the road that led me here, to be with this amazing man in the place he loves most in the whole world.

  Once we said we loved each other, we became so much more confident and stronger, both as individuals, and, of course, as a couple. Confection Consultations had a crazy holiday season, with more business than I ever could have dreamed of, thanks to all the parties the hockey WAGS hired me to do. And Nate rolled up his sleeves and dived right in, taking over the financial aspect of the business, as his degree from U of M is in finance. He told me to focus on the creative part, he’d handle the rest.

  Business continues to tick upward, which is exactly what I hoped for. I’m going to manage the business from here for the next two weeks, and then I’ll fly back to Dallas as needed for parties and commute back to Minnesota when I’m done. I’ve cut back on the number of classes I’m offering this summer simply because after that first holiday season, I’m ready for a break. And so is Nate after this season.

  The Demons fell one game short of making it back to the finals, and the conference division title series ended last week. The Demons were given an impossible task of carrying on without Matt Rhinelander and Harrison Flynn, who were out with injuries. Nate put the team on his back and got the finals series pushed to a game five, but the loss of two stars was too much for the team to overcome. While Nate was crushed not to make it, Harrison vowed they would make it back next year.

  So it was the perfect time to leave Dallas and head to Minnesota, and now we’re here. I finally get to experience the place that is so close to Nate’s heart.

  I hear the back door open and turn my head. Nate said he wanted s’mores tonight, as something we could do around the new fire pit. I watch as he comes down the deck, carrying a tray full of s’mores supplies, looking oh-so-rugged and handsome in his jeans and plaid flannel shirt thrown over a Demons’ T-shirt.

  “What are you thinking about?” Nate asks, placing the tray on a wood table next to his chair.

  “You,” I say, smiling up at him. “And how much I love you.”

  Nate beams in response to my words. He sinks into the chair next to me and reaches for my hand, lacing my fingers through his.

  “When I first bought this place last summer,” Nate says, squeezing my hand gently in his, “It was my escape plan. I’d somehow get through a season in Dallas, and the second it was over, I’d be back up here. Alone. Making it a fortress and not letting anyone inside.

  “But now,” he says, his eyes holding steady on my face, “I have a different vision for it.”

  My heart melts as I see the sincerity shining in his eyes. Nate leans forward and rakes his hand through the waves in my hair, pressing his forehead to mine.

  “It’s our home now, Bae,” Nate declares. “You and Marabou and me. I haven’t wanted a fortress since I fell in love with you. Now all I want is to build a life with you.”

  “That’s all I want, too. I love you, Nate.”

  “I love you more,” Nate says, lowering his mouth to mine.

  We kiss underneath the pine trees and the stars, the scent of his woodsy cologne wrapping around me like a blanket. I taste the wine on his lips, I feel his stubble graze my skin as his mouth takes from mine. His fingers slide up underneath my hair, caressing it as he deepens this kiss between us.

  I relish the kiss, my hands seekin
g the nape of his neck. I never tire of kissing Nate. And as I kiss him back, I feel love and desire swirl within me with equal force.

  Nate breaks the kiss and drops a gentle kiss on my nose that makes my heart swell with love.

  “Do you know what I want?” Nate whispers.

  My pulse flickers. “What’s that?”

  “To make s’mores.”

  I furrow my brow. Okay, after that kiss I’m really more inclined to go inside and make love, but for some reason he wants s’mores. I smile.

  So s’mores it is. For now.

  “I’ll help you,” I say.

  “No,” Nate says quickly, holding out his hand to stop me from moving out of my chair as he stands up.

  “What?” I ask, confused. “Why not?”

  “Because I’m waiting on you tonight,” Nate says. He flashes me a smile. “It’s all part of the services provided here at Johansson Cabin.”

  I burst out laughing. “Um, this lovely little cabin, as you say, is huge.”

  That’s the truth. Nate’s home is a beautiful wood and stone cabin overlooking the lake, and every high-tech, modern convenience one could want. Along with five bedrooms and a media room.

  Nate rubs his hand over his jaw, his eyes sparkling at me. “Huh. Should we call it Johansson Lodge?”

  I giggle at that. “It might as well be. We have your family coming next week, my family the week after that, then Harrison and Kylie.”

  I pause for a moment. We really will be running a lodge, but I can’t wait. I’ve grown close to Nate’s family through lots of messages and Connectivity video connects, and the person I’ve come to adore is Holly. Once she trusted me, once she realized that I was in this with Nate forever, everything changed between us.